We could still kick your asses. Maybe.
There may still be a few of you out there who do not know about my amazing and celebrated history as a backyard wrestler. Oh yeah, I said it. You see this weekend summit with my ladies is more than just a reunion of old friends; it is an impromptu celebration of our rough and tumble glory. Starting in about an hour and lasting until Sunday Robin Graves, Mary Tyler Hore and Brittany Fierce will be together again. Did you feel that? I think the earth just trembled!
My ladies and me go back, waaaaaaaay back. Way back to still getting grounded, new driver’s licenses, front porch parties and high school. It just so happens that while we were doing all that we also spent a fair amount of time smashing each other’s faces into the mat. B.L.O.W. was comprised of the three of us, Darcy D, Harley Honey and Bettie Rage. We were the female chapter of B.C.W. If you dig around there are still pictures of us online, we made the local news often and even had a short-lived cable access show. Fuck! We were so famous I got recognized at the Boone County Fair! That is big time folks, big time. Ten years later we are old, professional, home-owning, baby-having hags- all that stuff that happens when you grow up and out of your small town- but this weekend we are reclaiming those days. Or at least we are going to drink heavily and giggle a lot. Same thing. In honor of all those amazing high school girls and in memoriam of the one no longer with us I will now share with you one of our first real matches. Tucked in the back of my oldest journal I found the written choreography of my first appearance in B.L.O.W., and now it will live forever on the interwebs……
(Robin, why weren’t you in this one? Or did we just stop writing?)
BF=Brittany Fierce HH=Harley Honey and MT Hore = well, Mary Tyler Hore
*BF pulls HH hair, fall down go boom
*BF pulls HH up, beats her back to corner
*HH kicks BF in tummy, BF falls go boom
Ø I love that we wrote this like we were four<
*HH straddles BF and slaps that bitch around (with Beware of Dog sign)
*BF kicks out and camel clutches HH, slams her head into ground 2 or 3 times gets up casually
>I played the dumb girl jobber, you know like Britney S. would…<
*HH trips BF then pulls her up: Irish whip
*BF flips HH over the rope, kicks her head and HH falls onto face outside of ring
*BF follows and smashes HH head into ground
*BF loses interest and starts flirting with crowd boy
*HH recovers, grabs BF and tosses her back in the ring
*HH knees BF in tummy
*HH suplexes BF–àkick to the bean
*Action breaks while Prepsican brings BF a drink and she fixes her hair
*BF charged HH into ropes, ties her up in them
*BF knees HH in the face
*BF wanders to opposite corner and lights fag (oooh how British of us!)
*HH staggers over and rips fag out of BF’s mouth
*HH snap mares BF
*BF low snap mares HH from laying position
*MT Hore enters ring illegally
*MT Hore and BF “boob bash” HH
Sadly that is where the journal entry ends, though I’m sure there was a big finish in which my ass was thoroughly kicked.
Here’s to you girls!
