Miss Tricky Takes Over

This new work schedule is putting a real kink in my online life. I’m busy and off the work both jobs to day but I thought I would share a few of the ridiculous things that have been said to me this week. Here goes…

Miss T: I feel like hot dog shit.

 Mr. P: You look like hot dog shit.

 Miss T: (dirty look)

 Mr. P: Wait…you look hot, I mean…ummmm…

 Miss T: (dirty look with pout)

 Mr. P: I am going to stop talking now.

~

Mr. P: Did you go potty?

 Spawn: No…I go later. My pee-pee is up.

 Mr. P: what? Go downstairs and go potty please.

 Spawn: My pee-pee is up! (goes downstairs)

 Miss T: I think he was trying to tell you that he has morning wood.

 Mr. P: No!…..what? wow…

~

Mr. P: You know, if we had a baby by the time I was 43 that wouldn’t be THAT old, would it?

 Miss T: If we had a baby by the time you were 43 I would have to get pregnant in the next 3 months or so…

 Mr. P: oh.  (quietly attempts to do math in head) really?!?

~

Mr. P: You smell like restaurant.

 Miss T: (quietly to herself) fuck you.

T:   I don’t think I’d want my kid going to ‘Tender Care’ daycare, that sounds a little ‘bad touch’ to me…

 P:   yeah, I don’t think I like the sound of ‘Precious Ones’ either.

P:  How about ‘Drop them Off’ Daycare?

 T:  or ‘Not my problem Today’ Daycare.

You pretty mawmy. You hold me?

I would love to hold you! You are very handsome…

 I not handsome, I pretty.

Okay, you are pretty.

 No mawmy! I not pretty, I the boy. You the girl, I the boy.\

Yes, you’re the boy and I love you.

 Don’t say that mawamy! I the ogre!

You are crazy is what you are….

 I not crazy, no I not!

Yes you are

No I not

Yes you are

No mawmy I Fiona!

You are Fiona? Who is mommy?

Mawmy other princess.

 Put me down mawmy I hungry.

You are hungry? Okay what would you like?

No…I not hungry mawmy I the ogre.

 I not hungry I want dinner, I want Jann’s own dinner!

What would you like?

I want dinner mawmy.

Yes, but what would you like for dinner?

Dinner.

 I want bee-nana mawmy.

Okay I will get you a banana.

No! not bee-nana mawmy I the ogre!

But you just asked for…

I want bee-nana mawmy!