Miss Tricky Takes Over

So …I was all set to get up this morning and write a smooshy “It’s Friday, I’m in love” post about how great it is here in Philly with the squeeze. I was going to talk about how smoothly it’s gone and how much I don’t hate having him exist in the same house with me and how generally ass over elbows I am about the whole situation. I was going to do that. But then this morning while we were laying in bed, snuggled up and talking about the coming day and possibly, maybe, sort of entertaining the idea of some morning nookie and the smell of coffee was working it’s way upstairs…this happened:

T: mmmmm coffee…….

Mr. P: you know, putting cream in your coffee amounts to an extra 5lbs a year.

T: (with my sass up) really? How about skim milk?

Mr. P: well, that’s not so bad…

T: how about almond milk?!?

Mr. P: well, almond milk is probably actually good for you…. but you put sugar in it! That’s reallllllly bad. How many teaspoons of sugar do you put in your coffee anyway?

T: (climbing out of bed in a huff) This is ridiculous! How did you go from telling me you wanted to have sex with me to telling me I’m fat because I drink coffee?!?

Mr. P: Hey! You can’t be mad at me! I was just asking you how you take your coffee so I could go get you some!

T: Ummm, no you weren’t. Reciting the list of awful things that will happen to me because of how I drink my coffee is NOT asking me how I would like some.

To be fair, I know enough about this man by now that when he started talking about cream and sugar I knew he was just trying to remember how I like my coffee. Alas, Mr. President has a disease commonly know as “diarrhea of the mouth”. It is most prominent when he is tired so early mornings and late nights are filled with him sharing thought processes with me that should have stayed in his head. (He refers to this as “talking out loud” apparently not realizing that ALL talking happens out loud and what he really means to say is “thinking out loud”, but I digress). Unfortunately I think he’ s super cute so when he got embarrassed and hid his head in the pillow while pulling me back under the covers I laughed and totally let him…

Mr. P: I love you for letting me be stupid. And I want you to have plenty of things to write about…I was only thinking of your blog.

T: yeah…well, maybe you can make it up to me by taking me out for lunch somewhere nice.

Mr. P: oh yeah…. I didn’t expense lunch with that rep yesterday so we can totally get lunch and expense it! It will be the rep lunch!

*crickets*

Mr. P: ummm, I was just sort of working that out in my head but I said it out loud, huh?

T: Yup.

Mr. P: sorry.