Life Under Construction

Posts Tagged ‘work’

I’m too angry and irritated to love anything at the moment.

Except my little brother, who is going to scan those pictures of me when he gets out of work.

I’ve been trying to get in touch with someone from Unemployment for about a month now (because I have to speak to an actual person to find out why).  AN EFFING MONTH.  I was so discouraged that I couldn’t get a hold of anyone that I gave up for a while.  So I called again yesterday and got a recording saying that they were closed Wed and Thu, so I’ve been calling at least once a minute for the last 45 minutes.  And all I’m getting is a busy signal.

So I’m getting zero funds.  Since the beginning of January.  ZERO FUNDS.  I have no income.  It’s driving me crazy.

I HATE UNEMPLOYMENT.

I MISS MY JOB.

BOTH OF THOSE THINGS A VERY LOT.

I really really miss my job.  I can’t even tell you how much.  I’d even take the frustrations again if it meant I could be doing what I was doing where I was doing it.

And now I cry.

Happy freaking Friday, everybody.

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I LOVE…  that today is my last day at my job.  It has been a great 3 years working with the people I’ve met there, but I’m definitely ready to start the next chapter in my life (read: join the masses of the unemployed).

I LOVE…  reading again.  I’ve missed it so much over the last month, I just want to make up for it every second of the day and read all day long!

I LOVE…  clipping coupons.  Srsly.

I LOVE…  making lists.  Grocery lists, daily to-do lists, you name it – I love making a list for it!

I LOVE…  Christmas music.

I LOVE…  fresh new notebooks.  Notebooks in general.

I LOVE…  anime.  Lots of people think they’re annoying, but I think chibis are so cute!

I LOVE…  (I save the best for last) my husband.

What do YOU love today?

…

Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Challenge:
December 4 Book. What book – fiction or non – touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

Gosh (I said it!).  I’ve read so many books this year that have touched me, and not in a creepy way because it would be uber creepy if a book touched me inappropriately.  I think if I had to pick any book I read this year that touched me it would have to be Sarah Dessen’s Along for the Ride.  I know I just got finished reading it and that’s why it is so fresh in my memory, but her characters always touch me and teach me things about myself.

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Hello there, Life.  We’ve met before, but I haven’t seen you in a while.

Do you remember my face?

No?

It’s kind of fuzzy?

Let me refresh your memory a bit…

Just in case you didn’t know yet, I reached 50′000 words last night and I am officially a NaNoWriMo winner!

I’m kind of sad about it being over, but I know I can always do it again next year.  You know I’m a fiend for the torture of beating myself up because the story is crap and not writing enough words every day, and not having enough time to blog or talk to friends and family or my husband (I HAVE A HUSBAND!!!!  At least I think I still do…), and conveniently forgetting to do things like vacuum or shower or put the dishes away…

It was an amazing experience.

Now I have this 93 page story of suck that I can rewrite as many times as I want.  I have it.  All those thousands of words belong to me.  I don’t even have to do anything about it if I don’t want to.  I can delete it if I want.  I can put it away and never look at it again if that is what I so choose.  But whatever I do, I’ll know forever that I did it.  And I’m so proud of me.

I’ve also got this awesome badge of awesomeness to let everyone know I won this year.

I’ll try to keep the NaNo talk down for the next few days as I try to regain some semblance of normalcy in my day to day life.  I need to get back into the swing of things.  Friday will be my last day as an employed person, so I’m sure I’ll talk about unemployment a lot.

Have you guys noticed that once I get hooked on something, I talk about it constantly?

Welcome back to reality, self.  It’s been an amazing roller coaster of a ride, but I think I’m ready to get back to regular.  I’m glad you’re all still here (I’m assuming you are, so you better be!) and didn’t ditch me during my month of the crazies.  I’ll be back to blogging on the regular in the days to come.

What have all y’all been up to these past 30 days?
Has anything noteworthy happened in my semi-absence?
Will you hate me if I forgot how to blog?

***

Final word count:  50′080.  WIN!

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I was going to blog about my crappy night’s sleep, but I don’t want to bore you all with it.  Instead you get bullets because I’m lazy and have nothing profound to say, but still have things to say.

Where'd my arm go?!!!

• I don’t understand why some nights I can sleep really well, and why other nights I don’t sleep at all.  For two nights I slept like a freaking log.  I slept the whole night through and even overslept (which felt so good!).  I’m not one of those people who can fall asleep whenever they want, sleep whenever, for however long they feel like it.  I have to have a set sleeping schedule or I’m all messed up.   Well, last night I wasn’t really stressed out, not that I noticed at least.  I was kind of tired when I laid down, but I kept waking up every 2-3 hours just to roll over and try again.  I wasn’t uncomfortable, I just couldn’t stay asleep.  I guess I did bore you with last night’s crappy sleeping story…. Now I want to take a nap.  At my desk.  It’s probably not a good idea.
  
• Last night I laid in bed thinking about next month’s NaNoWriMo story.  I came up with a lot of great ideas but forgot a few of them.  I have decided to sleep with a notebook next to my bed from now on.  I’m very excited about this year, because I’m really going to finish it this time!  50′000 words, here I come!
• I need to learn how to clear my mind before bed, but it always feels like the only time my brain can work uninterrupted to solve all the world’s problems.  My brain is all like “She has assumed the position, overdrive ACTIVATED!” and I’m bombarded with ideas and thoughts and aggravations.  Can I file for assault against my brain?  Is that even legal?
• Yesterday at work we found out when our last day is going to be.  I’m relieved to finally have a set date.  Sad too, but most of the sadness has evaporated and I’m left now with relief and still some stress.  It’s going to be hard turning our customers over to new people, so we want to make it as easy for them as possible.  The only suckiest part about losing this job is that it’s the best job with the best group of people I’ve ever worked with.
• I sang at karaoke last Friday.  Yeah, you read me right.  It was only me and Mike and Tim and Sarah and Jeff there, and I was embarrassed and my heart was pounding, but Mike tricked me and made me sing.  If he ever puts in an Africa song, don’t believe him when he says he’s singing it.  That was the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard in my life.  I’m just sayin’.  I hope he doesn’t think he can do that every time, ’cause next time I’ll leave him to make a fool of himself by himself!
• I’m still trying to decide whether or not I want to continue with “What If?” Wednesdays.  Any input?  Keep it or forget it?  I don’t care either way, perhaps that’s a good indication that I should find something else to do with my Wednesdays….
• I miss Walter.
  

That’s about it.  I hope your Tuesday (and mine) is very un-Tuesdaylike.

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The sink at work is out to get me.  I’m serial.

I hate sinks that have high spouts, like so:

This is one of the bathroom sinks at work.  Good thing no one came in while I was taking a picture of it, that would have been pretty awkward. It is designed specifically to splatter when in use, causing the user in question to look like they peed their pants.

Do you see that?  Shallow sink.  High spout.  Someone in the sink designing industry is dumb and should not be getting paid.

Who needs a sink like that in a work environment?  The spout looks like something out of a restaurant kitchen with those deep basin sinks.

You know… the ones that don’t splatter?

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Do I want to eat my salad now?  Or later?  This is the hardest decision I have to make so far today, but don’t go thinking it’s easy.  Because it isn’t.

Deb just came over and saw the pictures of me and Walter we took in the photo booth the last time I went to MS.  I’ve framed it and it’s on my desk at work.  I love looking at it and daydreaming.

Hell, I daydream anyway.  I don’t gotta look at it.  *giggles*

I’m wearing a skirt.  A real skirt.  It’s blue and white and flowing and pretty.  I realized on the way to work today that wearing skirts makes me feel good.  I mean, I already knew dressing up made me feel good, but dressing up to go to work every now and then feels good.  I feel confident.  It’s nice, refreshing even.

You know what else is great?  Sarah has Wed-Mon off, and I can sleep in instead of getting up with John.  Like he’s actually going to let me sleep in, but at least I won’t have to get up out of bed because Sarah will be there!

And Robert is graduating high school on Thursday.  My baby brother.  MY BABY BROTHER.  I know I’ve said it before, but MY BABY BROTHER IS GRADUATING.  He’s gotten good enough grades to graduate.  This is celebratory.  I don’t feel old or like life has flown by.  I feel grateful that I’ve been there to experience it with him, and proud because even though he’s been taller than me for a few years he’s like officially a big boy now.

So I have Thursday off.  YESSSSSSSSSSS.

And on Saturday I’m having lunch with Jean and Jill, which I haven’t done in months.

That’s all for today.  Anything exciting going on that I need to know about?
Has anyone seen Land Of The Lost yet?  How was it?

I’m not going to eat my salad.  I’m saving it for later.

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I was just sitting here at my desk, like any other day.  Eating a peanut butter and Fluff sandwich, like any other day.  And I looked in my mirror, just like any other day.

Yes, I have a mirror at my desk. And I’m constantly looking at it.  What?  Don’t judge me!

Anyhow, I noticed that Fluff makes my teeth look disgustingly yellow.  A whole lot more unwhite than usual.  It made me sad.

I have decided that from now on I am going to paint my teeth with Fluff.  Do you think it will work?

Upon reflection, it seems that for the first time ever I did make a peanut butter and Fluff sandwich and DID NOT get Fluff on my hands.  However I did get it on the back of my hand while eating it.  I wonder how I did that….?

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Look, I had this blog all typed up and then I reread it and I was like ‘that’s dumb’ so I deleted it.  All y’all don’t want to hear about how pathetic my weekend of being sick was.  All I’ll say about it is this:

It sucks being home sick without cable TV.

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I’m going back to Mississippi for 4 days in June.  Walter gets 4 days leave before they take him out of the country and I’ve got some personal days so I’m going to see him one more time.  *dances*  I leave two weeks from today.  This time I’m not bringing a bag that weighs 55lbs, I’m bringing the bare essentials in one carry-on bag.

I know!  I’ve never done that before.  I don’t ‘travel light’.  This should be interesting.

Being back at work feels weird.  I feel like I haven’ t been here in a month.  I hate that ‘I don’t belong here’ feeling of playing catch up.  It’s dumb.

I have nothing interesting to say.  I’m back at work and getting back into the swing of things.  I probably shouldn’t be blogging anyhow (like that has ever stopped me before…).

I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend.

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Someday when I am grown up and I have my own house I am going to buy a refrigerator sized freezer, and in it I will keep a titanic supply of Rocky Road ice cream and Nutty Buddies.  And they will all be for me.

I could really go for a Nutty Buddy right now.  Ice cream for breakfast is my favorite.

(After chocolate milk, of course.  And cereal.)

Why hasn’t there been a new Superman movie out yet?  I thought Brandon Routh signed a three movie deal.  I want more Superman movies.

I woke up today in a quiet, introspective kind of mood.  I feel like I want to keep to myself, have little contact with other people, and spend all my time thinking about the things that make me feel good.  I look forward to going to work, but only to sit in MY cubicle, MY space, with MY things, and be quiet and content with my thoughts.

I miss Walter. That’s the thought that’s dominating my day brain today, taking up most of the space in my conscious (and probably subconscious) mind.

I’m not allowed to be friends with someone anymore that’s been my friend for 11 years.  I understand why, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.  Not that that friend would ever read my blog, but I want him to know that even though we’re not allowed to interact I will always be here for him if he needs anything.  His family is always going to be my family.  We may not talk for 20 years, but if 20 years from now he needs anything, I hope he knows he can call on me and I’ll do whatever is in my power to be there for him.  I understand, but I don’t like it.

I started drawing something two weekends ago, and I haven’t touched it since.  I’m lost as to what to do with it anymore.  I wanted it to be a full page drawing.  Maybe I’ll work on it some more next weekend.  Maybe.

The weekend was pretty OK.  My birthday wasn’t the best ever but that’s alright.  They can’t ALL be fabulous all the time, right?  I spent all of Saturday and most of Sunday being lazy.  Did 4 loads of laundry, watched Castle and Lie To Me, and went to the movies alone.  Talked to Walter twice on Saturday.  Went to dinner at 7 Moons (finally) with Erik and Mike, and I brought home a ton of leftovers.

Speaking of which, I hope I don’t forget to bring the leftovers to work with me today.  I have Mike’s in the fridge, and he’ll need that.

Mike and I have been talking about going to 7 Moons for two years now.  o.0  Hooray for finally going!

364 days until my birthday.

Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past is a crappy movie.  Don’t see it in theaters.  I wouldn’t even suggest you see it when it comes out on DVD, it really was that lame.  It’s probably the worst movie I’ve seen since I saw Good Luck Chuck, which was a bad movie.

Christina and I are going to the mall next weekend.  I need to do some heavy duty book shopping.  I’ll probably start reading the Harry Potter books next week and I’m sure I’ll breeze right through them.

Once I get my TV fixed I think I’m going to sign up for Netflix.  Maybe.  It’s a thought.

I miss Walter. I think I’m going to spend some money and go see him again for three days before he leaves for Iraq in June.  They’re sending him home for 4 or 5 days before he ships out.  If I thought 8 days was not enough last month then 3 days is definitely not going to be enough this time, but I think of it this way: I’ll take what I can get to hold me over until he comes home.  I’m still thinking about it though.  Leaving last time was really hard.

I’m giving my NKOTB tickets to CooCoo.  I can’t go anymore.  My little brother’s graduation is the same night, and while I love my New Kids On The Block (wicked hard) I really can’t miss Robert’s graduation.  Family comes first.  In 13 days he’ll be 18 years old.  A month from today he’s going to be graduating high school.  And this fall he’s going to start going to college.  He may be like 5′10” or something ridiculous like that, but he’ll always be my baby brother.

I don’t feel hungry at all.  Is that a bad thing?  I haven’t eaten in 14 hours, shouldn’t I be even a little bit hungry by now?  I’m going to eat when I get to work whether I’m hungry or not, because that’s what I do.  I eat to pass the time.  And to fend off boredom.

Today is definitely going to be a Write In My Journal day.

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I am currently on vacation, so the following blog is a repost from my Myspace blogging days.  Enjoy…

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Dear Diary,
Look, Diary.  Sometimes I think of funny things to write in you and then I forget them.  I’ve become known among my friends as the one that texts her own email any ideas she comes to and doesn’t want to forget.  Also the one that blogs too much.  Now all I need is a digital camera to take pictures of all the random things I want to blog about but ultimately end up forgetting, and then I’ll be dubbed the “Cooky Blogstress”, I’m sure of it.  Not that it would bother me. 

At work today I found out someone else was quitting.  But I was also ordered vegetable fried rice (my favorite) when my boss expensed our lunch today!  Yay!  Also thanks to Tim for knowing what I eat and to Jeremy for suggesting Chinese.

I still get the weird looks, Diary.  When I’m sitting in my cubicle - minding  my own business, hunched over my rice extracting every trace of onion so that I don’t poison my mouth with it’s disgustingly overpowering grossness - it never fails that some of the guys (who see this sort of thing on a daily basis within the half-walls of my cubicle) still stop and stare at me in disbelief.  As if they’ve never seen a body pick their food apart before!  Is it really so odd that I don’t like onions?  Who doesn’t pick the pretzels out of the Chex Mix when they are taking over, or separate all their M&Ms because the colors taste different?  It’s the same thing!  And every time I look at them with my eyes saying ”haven’t you ever seen a girl picking out her onions before?” and they just shake their heads in a gesture that says ”I should have known” before my eyes tell them to “be gone before someone drops a house on you”.  And it’s always the guys.  You don’t see the women coming up to me saying “what are you doing with your food?”

Please. 

Men do so many more stare-worthy things than I do most of the time.  Especially the nerdy kind of dudes that are represented by the guys I work with.  Transformers toys, posable Spiderman, and a toilet in their cubicle spaces?  Magic games in the kitchen at break time?  Victoria’s Secret catalogues delivered to their work mailbox?  Come on, now.  Like these people have any right to point their eyes at me in such a fashion, it’s like the pot calling the kettle black if you know what I’m saying, Diary.

Much love, texts, and expert onion removing,
Irish

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