Life Under Construction

Posts Tagged ‘Wizard Rock’

If you haven’t read this article, you’re missing out on something truly incredible (a big thank you goes out to Wil Wheaton for always sharing such great articles he finds with his readers).  I don’t know the person who wrote it, but I can definitely relate to her.  I understand where she’s coming from, and what she’s written gives me hope.

I’ve been miserable before.  I’ve gone through life feeling hopeless and sad and bored and empty, like nothing.  Heck, I feel empty almost every day lately.  It sucks.

When I was in middle and high school (ask any of my friends) I obsessed over things I was passionate about.  I found something that made me happy, and I focused on it.  I put energy into it.  In 7th grade it was The Beatles.  In 8th it was Star Wars.  In 9th and 10th it was drama club (and drama club boys, but we won’t get into that right now).  And I was happy.  I was a lot happier than I have been in recent years, and I’ve wondered several times if it had something to do with the lack of an object or topic to obsess over.  In other words: a passion.

I asked myself: What have I been passionate about in the last 10 years? Has there been any one thing I’ve been passionate about that lasted more than a couple months?  And why is that?  Is it because I get bored and lose interest?  Is it because I find something, and I love it so hard, but people patronize me about it?  Like how much I love Harry Potter?  So many people were telling me I’m too old for it, making fun of me over how excited I got (still get) over it.  So maybe I say things like “Expecto Patronum!” in my head with a terrible English accent, and yeah, maybe I did cry when characters died.  So what?  Yes, I listen to Wizard Rock and I fantasize about going to Wrockstock and meeting people that have some of the same interests as me, and I join Harry Potter forums and websites.  What’s it to you?  Why do you have to make fun of me about it?

I think I went off on a tangent there… but moving on….  It’s likely both of those reasons and more.

I can’t think of anything I put energy into anymore.  I don’t even put much energy into blogging (don’t even get me started on how many people in my real life give me shit for blogging as if anyone cared what I had to say).  I don’t have any passions right now.  I feel like I’m just waiting for something to come along, I feel like I have all this passion and all this love and attention to give to something.  I just need to find what it is.

I may not be happy 365 days a year, but I’m on my way to being happy with my life as a whole and reading what the author of that post had to say really put some things into perspective for me.  I’m slowly learning to be proactive, to take charge of my own happiness.  I’ve been working on it for a while, because if I can’t make myself happy nobody can.  But it’s hard because while I can’t rely on others to make me happy, they definitely have the power to put me down.

I want to know what you think.  Read that article.
Can you relate?
Do you have any words of wisdom to add?
Are you passionate about anything?

I’m wicked tired, so I hope this made sense.

When I admit to you in passing that I love Harry Potter, I don’t mean it in that ‘I’ll watch it if it’s on’ or ‘I read the books and thought they were terrific’ kind of way.  I’m serious that I Love.Harry.Potter.  I might just say it in passing, but inside I’m all excited just at the mention of it.  My mind goes into HP overdrive and I try to discern if you love Harry Potter or if you just like it.

I’m most likely wondering silently what house you would be in (LET’S GO GRYFFINDOR!)…

…if you’ve decided what kind of wand you would have if you went to Hogwarts, what your Patronus would be…

I randomly slip into the conversation (any conversation) that I listen to Wizard Rock, that’s Harry Potter music, and from your expression I will glean whether or not your are repulsed by my slightly obsessive behavior (usually people think I’m nuts, but don’t say it out loud and I can totally tell by their facial expression after I admit this little gem).  Of COURSE I listen to Wizard Rock (thank you Pham!), because it rocks.  Literally.   Ministry Of Magic?  The Parselmouths?  HECK YES!

I wanna be in a Wizard Rock band!  I can sing!

I think about the wizarding world in relation to the real world all the time, comparing and contrasting, wondering What would be the secret use of this thing here? or How cool would it be if that guy over there that’s dressed all weird-like was really a wizard trying to blend in with the muggles?  At least he’d have an excuse for wearing that, if he didn’t know any better.

I want Gryffindor robes… really good quality ones, not cheap Halloween costume material.

I cast spells at people and things inside my head.  Stupefy!  Riddikulus!  Expecto Patronum (just for funsies)!  (Accio would be wicked useful for getting the phaser when I didn’t want to get up to change the channel!)

Yesterday I wrapped the last four HP books and labeled them To: Jaime, From: Santa to put under the tree.  Boy, Santa really does know what I like!  And you know what?  I’m going to be excited when I open them!  That means I can read them again!  I bought them on Black Friday and hid them from myself so I could give them to myself on Christmas.  With my GPS.

I would talk about Harry Potter with a complete stranger if one walked up to me on the street.  Wanna know how to kidnap me without having to use force?  Ask me questions about Harry Potter and seem genuinely interested.  I’ll probably go anywhere with you just to have someone to talk about HP with.

(And just in case you’re wondering… my husband thinks he knows how weird I am weird and married me anyway.  Joke is on him!)

I LOVE…  that today is Friday, because I really need a weekend I think.

I LOVE…  the weekends.

I LOVE…  apples.  I forgot how tasty they were (I stopped eating them for some dumb reason I don’t even remember… lolz).

I LOVE…  Cinch Spray.  It smells so good, like the cleanest of any clean smell in all the land.  I like to spray my desk with it at work, and then for some hours I can still smell it.  Look.  I know I’m weird.

I LOVE…  Walter’s smile.  I picture it all the time when I close my eyes.  Also if I’m not paying attention to what you’re saying I’m probably in La-La-Land thinking about him, bunny ears and all…

I LOVE…  carnations.  They’re my favorite flower.  In fact, I really don’t care much for most other flowers except lilacs, tulips, and roses.  But carnations are the best ever.

I LOVE…  listening to Wizard Rock and singing along with my windows rolled down, not caring who hears me (especially when I’m singing the chorus of Sonorous Love -  ♪ I’m in love!  I’m in love!  I’m in love with a girl named Hermione G! ♫).

I LOVE…  chocolate ice cream.  What, I’ve told you this already?  Too bad.  I tell you again right now!

I LOVE…  crisp cold water on a hot, sunny, summer day.

I LOVE…  hot, sunny, summer days!

I LOVE…  Boston.  Who’s your team?

Happy Friday everyone.  What do you love today?

I’m stressed out today.  Of course I am.  I was in such a good mood yesterday that today has to suck.  Whenever I’m happy I always have to crash hard.  It’s stupid.

All morning I was looking for this song by Swish & Flick (more Wizard Rock), Astoria Greengrass And The Pure-Blood Prince, but the only place you can get it is if you buy the whole album.  It’s not even on iTunes.  I’d have to order the CD through the mail.  But I don’t WANT the whole CD.  It’s very frustrating.

I also didn’t have time to go to the bank or stop and pick up anything for lunch and dinner on my way to work, so I’ll have to leave work for a little while to get something, which I HATE doing.  I feel like such a bad worker if I leave the building to get food.  Heck, I feel like a neglectful worker whenever I get up from my effing desk.

And to top it all off, I’m depressed and PMSing.  I hate my stupid hair and my shirt is wrinkled and everything is making me angry.

I LOVE… that it’s Friday once again.
I LOVE… that next week I’m going to Mississippi to see Walter again, a year sooner than I thought I’d be seeing him.  SQUEEEE!!!
I LOVE… the scarf I’ve been working on.  I didn’t think I’d like it when I bought the yarn on clearance but it’s coming out so nice and I’m considering keeping it for myself (I wasn’t making it for anyone in particular, just making it for s-n-g).
I LOVE… Yankee Candle’s MACINTOSH scent.  I bought a large jar last weekend and I’m addicted to it.  My room smells like apples.
I LOVE… the picture I made for yesterday’s blog.  I effing love it.  If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re MISSING OUT!!
I LOVE… that I’m proud of my weirdness.
I LOVE… that all I have planned for the weekend is attending a family birthday party on Sunday and watching a whole lot of TV on my computer.
I LOVE… living with Sarah and John, even though John tests my patients to new limits every other day.
I LOVE… having a credit card.
I LOVE… really getting into a series of books.  I’m loving the Harry Potter books.  LOVING them.
I LOVE… Wizard Rock.  THANK YOU PHAM!!!!  Ministry of Magic is so awesome!  I want to write Wizard Rock songs.  lolz.  I’ve been listening to them all morning!
I LOVE… watching trailers for HP and the Half-Blood Prince.  I’m so excited for July!!!!