Life Under Construction

Posts Tagged ‘me’

Making menial decisions is not my forte.  At all.  Big decisions = easy as pie (I love pie).  Wee decisions = OMFG what if I pick wrong (I hate being wrong)???!!

Here, let me give you an example.

It’s a regular day here at the house and I’m all by my little lonesome with all these hours ahead of me before anyone gets home.  I can play a game or watch a movie or read a book, but I’m trying to decide what would be the best use of my time.

All three options are enjoyable activities, but the dilemma I’m facing is this:  What if I pick wrong?

Now I know what you’re thinking, because I think it too.  You’re thinking If you like doing all three, how can any one decision be wrong? and If you don’t like doing what you’re doing you can always change your mind and do something else!

But again, I ask myself…  What if I pick wrong?

I’m wondering now why I don’t have a Magic 8 Ball.  Seriously… why don’t I have one?

But then again, I’d probably second guess that too.  Good thing I have Sarah to straighten me out.

Actually, I suck at making big decisions too.

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I spent the day reading blogs.  Actually reading them, because lately I’ve been skimming most of them.

Sorry guys.  Don’t hate me?

I realized that part of the reason I feel so disconnected lately is because I haven’t been reading.

I also unsubscribed from a few blogs, because the number of new blog posts that appear in my reader daily is daunting and sort of turns me off reading any blogs at all.

I wanted to share with you guys, the handful of readers that have stuck with me (I love you guys), some of the best blogs I’ve read this week.  And I’m going to promise to put more effort into my blogs, because you’re all probably rolling your eyes at the sight of my blog in your reader, knowing that lately I’ve just been posting drivel and rubbish.  So I promise to post things worth reading.  I really appreciate you guys, and you deserve better and I’m going to give it to you.

I know the stuff I’ve been posting is crap, because I don’t even enjoy writing it – and if I don’t like writing it how will anyone enjoy reading it?

I probably won’t be posting every day anymore, I’ve stopped doing that already, but when I post I’ll make it good.  At least good enough for me.

Just please don’t give up on me!

Anyhow, you should read these blogs because they’re awesome:

A Beautiful Mess
Balls, I tell you. Balls.
How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

And lastly… Are You Living Life To The Fullest? where I earned Comment of the week for the following comment…

“I’m usually earlier than anyone else I have plans with (which is sad because I’m chronically late [I'm my father's daughter]). Waiting for anyone really does a number on my anxiety, let me tell you! I expect to be going out for a night of fun and end up not enjoying myself and requiring tranquilizers to get to sleep.

Are they even coming?
What did I do wrong?
Do they hate me?
Did I miss a phone call? An email?
Is this some kind of sick joke?
Are they going to laugh at me?
Am I going to find out tomorrow that I got played for a fool and everyone was in on it?
Is everyone in on it?
Are they watching me from somewhere I can’t see to see how long I’ll wait here like an idiot?
Are people staring?
Have I been here too long?
What’s an acceptable time to wait here before I leave?
Should I look dejected or indifferent?
Which is less embarrassing?
Do I look weird waiting here?
Can people tell I’m freaking out?
Where are they?!!!!!!!!
What if he/she is hurt?!
What if they’re dying and I’m sitting here thinking the worst about them?
Am I a bad friend?
Is it OK to be worried and angry?
Do I have the right to be angry?
Am I at the right place?

And then when whomever it is I am waiting for finally shows I’m a mess and a wreck and I have to fake it the entire time because even though the relief that they showed and I wasn’t the point of a joke is overwhelming, the damage has already been done and nothing less than Xanax will make it go away. Good luck getting me out of the house for the next few days. It’s so hard being me.”

Have a great week, everyone.  Don’t forget to check out the blogs I shared with you, and would you please leave me a comment just saying ‘hi’?  It has occurred to me many times over the least year that I don’t know many of you.  My question for everyone today, whether you’re a regular commenter or a lurker, is…

What is your favorite color?

Mine is pink.  And green.  I have a hard time picking a favorite anything.  ^^

(pee ess – I enjoyed writing this blog)

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The mulberry bush!
The mulberry bush!

I got my Christmas present from Walter!

Did I just use my camera phone to take a picture of my brand new camcorder when I could have used my digital camera?  Yes I did.  And do you see that remote behind it on the left?  That is for the camera.  MY CAMCORDER COMES WITH A PHASER (yes, in my family we call remote controls “phasers”, don’t judge us.).  Isn’t it AWESOME?!!!  I’m going to try it out soon.  :D

I wrapped Sarah and John’s Christmas presents this weekend after going shopping with my dad.  I only have a few presents for me and my dad to wrap and put under the tree.  And what’s more?  My wrapping has improved so very much that people will not be grossed out when they see the mangled forms of their Christmas presents!  WINKITTY!

I seem to be getting more and more blog-tarded these days.  I have a very short attention span for blogs that are more than like four paragraphs.  It makes me feel bad but obviously you people have something against me and don’t want me to read the things you write, or you’d make your blogs shorter!  Or add more pictures.

I’ve become Mrs. McSkims-A-Lot.

I watched all 26 Episodes of Fruits Basket, and I loved it.  I wish I had the manga, but I don’t feel like spending the monies on it and I certainly can’t guarantee that I’d ever read it once I did get it.  I mean, after watching Gravitation the first five times I bought the mangas and I’ve only read like the first three or four (out of 13).

That was five years ago, people.

*swoon* I love this anime!

So yeah… snow.  We have it here, like it seems everywhere else on the planet also has it.  I got stuck trying to get out of my driveway this morning (we got about 14 inches yesterday).  My driveway empties out onto a rather busy road but as I’m nearing the end of the drive I can see that no cars are coming from either direction!  What luck!  But like I said… it’s a semi-busy road… so you can imagine my embarrassment when I go to pull out and get stuck in the massive inches of snow and the stupid dip that everyone and their brother bottoms out on when they pull in or out of my driveway.

People!!!  I was ¾ hanging out of the driveway for almost 5 minutes with my hazards on (and my face buried in my delicate, ungloved hands as people drove around me and gave me the fist) before my downstairs neighbors came out and gave me a good shove because they, too, had to get out of the driveway.

And did I mention that I live on a hill?  And that I had to go up the hill?  You’d think no one ever used this road what with the crappy job they do plowing it every. time. it. snows.  Not to mention that my landlord didn’t bother sending someone to plow the extra six inches in the gigantic driveway when the snow stopped (he’d plowed it wicked early yesterday morning while it was still snowing outside and never came back).  My sister broke the front of her Toyota Highlander (it’s kind of big) trying to get out of the driveway this morning, too.  And that’s AFTER our upstairs neighbor spent half of yesterday shoveling what he shouldn’t have had to shovel.

And don’t say anything about my blog being long today.  At least I gave you pictures.

…

Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Challenge:
December 21 Project. What did you start this year that you’re proud of?

NaNoWrimo.  Wait, let me go back and answer NaNoWriMo for every question.  It is the most self satisfying thing I have ever done.  I”ll never forget the things I learned about writing and about myself last month (it was only last month?  I had to look it up, it feels like years ago) and I’ll use those things in the future.  Not only did I start the project, but I finished it too.  And that’s so impressive of me, because I never finish anything (unless it’s food).

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I’m actually DOING something today!  Well, I still might not leave the house, but that’s OK.  At least I’m doing something.  My friend Crystal is coming over and we’re totally going to knit together.  *dances*

What?  Don’t pretend you’re not jealous!

Also reminding you that I have a formspring.me page, so you can ask me kestions™!
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I really wanted to finish this pink scarf I’ve been working on by today so I could start on my brother’s scarf, but that’s a big huge fail.  Maybe I’ll start on his scarf anyway, because I want to have it done by Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I really want a Santa hat.  Maybe I will leave the house today.  Maybe I’ll venture out in search of a Santa hat for myself.  I am of the opinion I would look adorable in a Santa hat, and perhaps if I wear a Santa hat on webcam for Walter it will feel a little bit more like Christmas for him.  He’s still over in the land of sand, where it rains sand all day long and they don’t eat bacon and their internet is poor.  I think he needs to see a Santa hat.  And I’ll show him videos of the snow, too, when it actually snows.

Isn’t that the cutest Chii chibi??!!!  I love Chobits.  It is such a good anime.  I want to watch Gravitation.  And Chobits.  I WANT TO WATCH ANIME.  But alas! the only anime I have with me is Grave of the Fireflies, which I am not watching because it makes me sob because it is so sad.

And I said ‘because’ two times in one sentence, so I am awesome.

UGH.  Did not get enough sleep last night.  I wish I could say I stayed up doing something awesome like reading Narnia or talking to Walter on the hellophone, but alas! I was trying to make a video response to Nerdfightastic so I could be Tuesday for a day.  For over an hour.  And all I came up with was this:

I know.  I SUCK.  But I am not ashamed.

Ok, maybe only a little.  You should go comment on my video and say how I am wicked awesome and I should totally be Tuesday for a day next week.  Because I want to be Tuesday for a day (I don’t know if I made myself clear that I want to be Tuesday for a day).

I can’t wait to get my new video camera for Christmas from Walter.  I can’t stand my crappy webcam.  IT MAKES ME WANT TO YELL.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go do dishes and take a shower so that when Crystal gets here she won’t think I’m a hobo.

I want to go to Disney World.

When was the last time you did dishes?
Have you ever been to Disney?
What’s your favorite anime series?

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(A)  It’s a new day, a Tuesday that feels like a Monday (yessssss), and I’m going back to work.  I’m excited to go back, because as much as I needed a vacation I simply love my job.  I miss my desk and my coworkers and all that sappy stuff.  I’m looking forward to things getting back to normal, until I have time to process what’s happened.

(B)  It’s so nice to not be doing NaBloPoMo anymore.  After blogging every day for a month, and then taking a week off from blogging, I feel sort of out of touch, but at the same time I feel refreshed.

Not that I have any new material, or anything.  I’m still the same old me.  :D

In both situations A and B I have realized that taking a break is necessary to have a healthy outlook on something, especially if it’s something you do every day like blogging or working… or bathing.

Wait… what?  lolz for me.

As of 6am today I had 648 blogs in my reader, and I’m going to get started on those in a little while, but I’m debating whether or not I want to go back to sleep for three hours.  I wonder if I could sleep.  I AM tired….  Before I woke up *coughthreehoursagocough* I was having a really good dream, and it’s unlikely that I can return to it at this point.  Is it worth it?

I think I’m just thinking it out in blog form, because I’m pretty sure I’ve decided to go back to sleep.

I feel uninteresting today.

Sleep it is.

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Go to Photobucket.  Type in your answers to the questions in the search box, then copy and paste the image only (copy and paste the HTML for the ‘direct link’) as your answer – no words allowed!

1. Name?

2. Where do you live?

3. What is your relationship status?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. What are you listening to right now?

6. What are your favorite jeans to wear?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What are you thinking about right now?

9. What are you favorite sunglasses?

10. What’s your nickname?

11. What makes you laugh?

12. What are you doing after this?

13. How do you feel right now?

14. Who is your favorite actor/ actress?

15. What is your favorite movie?

16. Who is your favorite Disney princess?

17. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

18. What do you wanna be when you grow up?

19. What do you love most in life?

20. What one word describes you?

21. I was born in…

22. My eye color is….

23. Night or day?

24. Best quote?

25. What school did you go to?

26. Favorite dessert?

27. Favorite animal?

28. Favorite childhood TV show?

29. Name of a sibling?

30. Month I was born in?

31. Favorite season?

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It’s no secret (from anyone on Twitter, anyway) that lately everything technology-related simply pisses me off.

The DVD player from Hell is a P.O.S. and deserves a lingering kick in the nuts.
My computer won’t play DVDs.
My computer is making strange sounds and Mike isn’t here to inspect it.
I can’t play my playstation because I accidentally put the AV cables in my dad’s DVD player box and don’t have them.**

In short, I said the fuck word like ten thousand times this weekend at Twitter.

OK, so maybe it wasn’t really ten thousand, it was more like ten.  Hundred.  Or just ten.  But whatev.  You get the picture, I was pissed.

And my stress about my ineptitude concerning all things technology in all it’s lameness has carried on over to today.  Monday.  I suspect my foul mood may also have something to do with the blog I’m trying to write (no, not this one).  And also that all I really wanted on Saturday was to watch the damn Newsies, and I still haven’t been able to.

GRRRRRR.

I guess watching Christian Bale in 3:10 to Yuma (pretty kick ass movie if you ask me) last night with Mike (who is in California for work *angry face*) made up for it a little bit, but he wasn’t singing and dancing with Doogie Howser’s best friend Vinnie so it just wasn’t the same.

You can probably take a guess at the level of my grievous distress at the latter event, and how it has only added to my crankypantsness, right?

What was I talking about?  I got distracted playing Dragon Wars on Facebook for the last 15 minutes.  *blush* Don’t judge me!  *skims*

Oh yeah, I remember now.  Technology is really out to yank my chain this week.  And did I mention that I’m stressed?  DID I MENTION THAT MIKE IS IN CALIFORNIA UNTIL FRIDAY AND I ONLY GOT 1.5 HOURS OF SLEEP ON HIS COUCH LAST NIGHT AND THEN DIDN’T GET ANY SLEEP THIS MORNING AFTER BRINGING HIM TO THE AIRPORT AT THE ASS CRACK OF THE ASS CRACK OF DAWN AND THEN GETTING STUCK IN STAND-STILL TRAFFIC FOR OVER AN HOUR ON RT 3 (of all places, now) BECAUSE SOME SORRY EXCUSE FOR A DRIVER HIT A TELEPHONE POLE ON 95 AT THE ASS CRACK OF DAWN SO I DIDN’T GET TO COME HOME AND GO TO SLEEP????  Did I mention that?  ‘Cause not sleeping stresses me out too.

Now that that’s out of my system (for the time being) I’m going to watch the latest episode of Lie To Me and wait for Walter to call me so I can go to sleep happy.

**Sarah’s brother has since lent me his cord that he’s not using, w00t!

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