Life Under Construction

Posts Tagged ‘love’

When I admit to you in passing that I love Harry Potter, I don’t mean it in that ‘I’ll watch it if it’s on’ or ‘I read the books and thought they were terrific’ kind of way.  I’m serious that I Love.Harry.Potter.  I might just say it in passing, but inside I’m all excited just at the mention of it.  My mind goes into HP overdrive and I try to discern if you love Harry Potter or if you just like it.

I’m most likely wondering silently what house you would be in (LET’S GO GRYFFINDOR!)…

…if you’ve decided what kind of wand you would have if you went to Hogwarts, what your Patronus would be…

I randomly slip into the conversation (any conversation) that I listen to Wizard Rock, that’s Harry Potter music, and from your expression I will glean whether or not your are repulsed by my slightly obsessive behavior (usually people think I’m nuts, but don’t say it out loud and I can totally tell by their facial expression after I admit this little gem).  Of COURSE I listen to Wizard Rock (thank you Pham!), because it rocks.  Literally.   Ministry Of Magic?  The Parselmouths?  HECK YES!

I wanna be in a Wizard Rock band!  I can sing!

I think about the wizarding world in relation to the real world all the time, comparing and contrasting, wondering What would be the secret use of this thing here? or How cool would it be if that guy over there that’s dressed all weird-like was really a wizard trying to blend in with the muggles?  At least he’d have an excuse for wearing that, if he didn’t know any better.

I want Gryffindor robes… really good quality ones, not cheap Halloween costume material.

I cast spells at people and things inside my head.  Stupefy!  Riddikulus!  Expecto Patronum (just for funsies)!  (Accio would be wicked useful for getting the phaser when I didn’t want to get up to change the channel!)

Yesterday I wrapped the last four HP books and labeled them To: Jaime, From: Santa to put under the tree.  Boy, Santa really does know what I like!  And you know what?  I’m going to be excited when I open them!  That means I can read them again!  I bought them on Black Friday and hid them from myself so I could give them to myself on Christmas.  With my GPS.

I would talk about Harry Potter with a complete stranger if one walked up to me on the street.  Wanna know how to kidnap me without having to use force?  Ask me questions about Harry Potter and seem genuinely interested.  I’ll probably go anywhere with you just to have someone to talk about HP with.

(And just in case you’re wondering… my husband thinks he knows how weird I am weird and married me anyway.  Joke is on him!)

I just want to play this video for you, because if Walter and I had had a big ceremony with family and food and a DJ and dancing and all that, this probably would have been our wedding song.

Now, after having watched that lovely video (plz, that movie is so awesome!) I’ll tell you a little bit more about my wedding day.

‘Cause I know if I don’t, I’ll probably get beat up.

Walter has so kindly shared what he experienced (sort of) in his blog this morning, I think like a Jellyfish.  Please.  Go read it if you haven’t already.

*****

So people have been asking me what happened, as if my getting married was a surprise to them.  I didn’t see it as a surprise because, to me, it’s been a long time coming.

Walter has been my best friend since some point in 2005.  I can’t pinpoint the day, but for a long time not a day went by where we didn’t talk on the phone for hours.

• Falling asleep on the phone?  Check
• Webcam chat induced giggles?  Check
• Paying literally hundreds of dollars to Sprint twice a month because I went over my minutes?  Check
• Not getting enough sleep at night because I was on the phone long after I should have been asleep?  Check

I’m pretty sure that everyone in the online community we were a part (yay Illarion!) of was either convinced we were dating, or that we would be eventually.

When I told Kenneth that Walter and I were getting married, he said “I always wondered why you dated other people with him around“.  I replied with “Yeah… I always wondered that myself.“.

So anyway, I met Walter online.  Not through some dating site, but through playing an MMORPG in 2004.  I’m sure I’ve told people that before, that I met my best friend online.

YES.  Dork that I am, I met my husband in the nerdiest way possible.  And I’m proud.

In 2005 he came to RI to visit Alli and I on his Memorial Day 3 day weekend from AIT in Oklahoma.

In 2006 I went to MS to visit him.  I met his family, his friends, fell in love, and denied it.  I wanted more than anything in the world to stay right where I was, in Mississippi, with my best friend.  I’m not going to go through all the details of that visit, because three of us (Walter, Ben, and I) were utterly brokenhearted when I left and I’d rather not relive that.

For the last five years, since I met Walter, I’ve been dating and dating other guys.  I liked them, even loved a couple of them, but they never worked out.  He says I’ve dated half the state of Rhode Island (what does he know?).  I’ve unintentionally had boyfriends jealous and suspicious of Walter for years.  And all that time, in this little part of the back of my brain, I imagined what it would be like to really marry him, instead of just joke about it.

And that brings us to about where we are.  He was leaving for Iraq and I couldn’t let him go without telling him how I really felt because… what if?  I’d just broken up with Sean and I wasn’t ready to be in a new relationship, but Walter wasn’t a new relationship.  He’s always been there.  It’s like we’ve been together forever, emotionally, and now we’ve just made it official.  It’s like this is where we were headed all along.

So we got married.  Neither of us wanted to wait until next year and he was already here.  So he called his mom, booked her a flight up here, took care of her hotel and flight costs since it was so spur of the moment, and we got married.  In my grandmother’s living room.  And then we went to dinner with our family, and went on our pre-honeymoon honeymoon to Boston.  And then he left to go back to Iraq.

People keep asking me, “How does it feel to be a married woman?”  I don’t know how it feels.  I mean… I know how I’ve always felt, and it feels just the same.  It’s hard to FEEL married when the only thing in our situation that has changed is that I get rings on my fingers.  He’s still thousands of miles away.  But he won’t be forever.

Ask me next year how it feels to be a married woman.  I’ll be able to answer you better.

In the mean time, watch this video Sarah took of the ceremony.  Plz don’t comment on how fat I look.  It’s just the dress.  It wasn’t very form fitting, but we were going for casual.

You’ll have to turn the volume up, it’s rather quiet.

(I’m participating in this week’s Sunday Scribblings writing prompt.)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  I want to be married.

Sure I want the dress and the day and the presents, but more than that I want the being married part: the ‘for better or for worse’ part.  The part that comes after the show: the comfortable silences, making the bed that belongs to the two of us, the arguments about money, the overcooked experimental dinners, the whining-screaming-beautiful children.

I’ve dated guys that would never give me what I needed, dated them for long periods of time even though I knew that it wasn’t going to go anywhere in the long run.  I’d let my love for them get the better of me, and when the harsh reality of it hit me that every effort was mine it would all fall apart.

Let’s face it, people.  Love is never enough when two people don’t value the same things.  Don’t listen when anyone tells you that you can live on love.  You can’t.  Separately, ALL of my relationships have taught me that.  No matter how hard you try, how deeply you love, or how much you give… if you’re both not giving it your best shot, if you don’t want the same things in life… it just isn’t going to work out.

It’s taken me a few years to realize that I’ve found my other half, my equal. Now I think about it all the time: being married.  At least, eh, every other day.  People keep telling me it’s my biological clock ticking, but I know it’s because I simply found the right guy.

Let’s back up for a second.

I wasn’t the little girl that played “house” with her dollies, instead I cut all my older sister’s Barbies hair off (she had a LOT of Barbies!) and ripped their arms and legs from their bodies.  You can totally ask her and she’ll tell you I’m not lying.

Sarah?  Any thoughts you’d like to share with the class?

Moving on…

Getting married never sounded like fun to me.  That is to say it never occurred to me.  I never thought about getting married someday, but I never thought about not doing it, either.  I just never thought about it.

Somewhere along the line there, between 11th grade and my 20th birthday, I realized that I did want to get married.  I wanted to belong to someone.  I wanted to be someone’s wife.

These days I know who I want to marry.  I’m lucky.  I’ve come to understand that being married isn’t just an event, that it’s a way of life.  It’s a full time job that not everyone can handle.  People get divorced all the time because they think marriage is just this thing you do and then life goes back to normal, but it’s not and it doesn’t.

Louise said the other day that I should have been born in the 1950’s.  She and Deb were talking at work about how we shouldn’t let our jobs be our lives, and I overheard so I had to voice my opinion.  You see, I want to be a housewife, a homemaker, a wife and mother.  I want my day to begin with making breakfast and end with making sure everyone is safely and soundly asleep in their beds.  I want to do laundry and spend my afternoons in the kitchen making dinner.  That job will be my life for a long time (at least the first 18 years).

For better or for worse I want the works.  What’s your take on marriage?  Do you want the traditional I’m so fond of or something else?

I LOVE… BEING IN MISSISSIPPI WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!

that’s right.

happy Friday, everyone.  What do you love today?!!!

I LOVE… that Mike is home from WA for the rest of the month.
I LOVE… Seven Moons (om nom nom).  Going there this weekend with Mike and Erik to celebrate my birthday.
I LOVE… MY BIRTHDAY!  It’s in two days!!!!!

I LOVE… watching Grey’s Anatomy and Lost with my sister at the computer.  Less commercials and more fun.  Can’t wait for tonight so we can watch them both!
I LOVE… doing laundry.  I know.  I’m a freak.  Whatev.  I love doing laundry.
I LOVE… the weird pictures I take and the fact that I’m proud of the most ridiculous things.

I LOVE… this program I downloaded called Poladroid (thanks @Daniel_Gardner for the tip!) because it makes said pictures look awesomer.  Plus it has the word ‘droid’ in the name.  So effing cool.

I LOVE… blogging and all of my blogging friends.  I seriously love logging in every day and reading everyone’s blogs.  It’s kind of like spending time with 40-50 different people every day all over the world.  It feels great!
I LOVE… listening to KLOVE on the way into work every day.  Some of the stories people call in with are so uplifting that it makes me happy other people believe so strongly in something.

I LOVE… Sebastian’s blogs.  He’s seriously so funny and so geeky that it’s awesome.  I look forward to his blogs every day, and whenever he doesn’t post I get sad.  Also he takes amazing pictures.
I LOVE… chocolate milk first thing in the morning.  It’s the most delicious breakfast ever!
I LOVE… every other weekend when I’m home alone.  Even though I love spending time with Sarah and John, when I’m home alone I can be as bizarre and silly as I want.

How’s that mental image for ya?!  lolz @ you!

I LOVE… ridiculous Pick 5’s on Facebook that take up a huge chunk of my day.  So what if it has no effect on real life?  I don’t care!  It’s fun while I’m doing it!
I LOVE… that I’m in love, that I let myself be in love with my best friend in the entire universe.  Nothing in the world has ever felt so right.  Nothing is holding me back anymore.  I’m so in love it makes me stupid.  I’m stupid for Walter.

I am currently on vacation, so the following blog is a repost from my Myspace blogging days.  Enjoy…

********************

Dear Diary,
I have fallen in love.  Hard.  You know how it feels when you can’t get enough?  When you can think of nothing but the object of your desire?  It’s this way for me, Diary.  I’ve fallen in love.

With Chocolate Quaker Rice Cakes.  *swoon*

They’re so chocolatey on the outside and really just rice cakey on the inside.  No odd flavors added, and even little bits of chocolate on some of them!  I love that Quaker man, every time I see him I’m filled with joy because it brings to mind my favorite snack: Quaker Rice Cakes, also known as The Greatest Invention Known To Man.

Oh Diary, I didn’t sleep well last night.  Alli kept me awake with her TV and lights on.  I can’t sleep when I’m straining to hear something I don’t even want to be paying attention to!  Or with lights in my face.  ]:  And to top it all off, I can’t write if it’s quiet.  So did I get started on my novel for NaNoWriMo?

NO.  I didn’t.

Why, do you ask?  Because I can’t write when there are distractions.  And Alli definitely qualifies as a distraction.  Or two.
Also I cried on the phone to Walter last night.  I got to talk to him for an hour and 35 minutes, which was great.  I didn’t cry the whole time.  Oh, Diary.  It was great to be able to talk to him.  It’d been a whole week.  I really miss him.  I wish I could to there, to Mississippi.  And not be sick this time.  I really wish it.  I haven’t seen him in OVER A YEAR.  It’s wicked lame.
Going to my dad’s to visit with him tonight, usual Friday night with Sarah and John.  OMG John was so cute I can talk about it now because for real OMG so cute Sarah brought him in to work to see me OMG so wicked adorable.

HERE IS THE PROOF:

Do you see what I mean?  C.U.T.E.  Mike and Lt. Dan say it looks like Elmo has eaten him (even though he’s smiling) and is now gnawing on my head.  Thanks Mike and Lt. Dan, now that’s what I will see whenever I look at this picture.  There will be more pics of him all dressed up cute and stuff when my lazy single mother of a sister gets to uploading them to her computer.

I love you, Sarah.

Ok Diary, this is where it ends today.  I’m cleaning my bathroom on Saturday and doing loads of laundry (ha ha get it, loads? ok wicked lame) all weekend.  Karaoke tonight after my dad’s house and then I’m in NaNoWriMo mode all weekend.  I still don’t even have a clue as to what I’m doing yet, but it’ll come to me.  I think.

Love your ever-so-full-of-thought-part-time-writer-of-sorts,
Irish

P.S.  “San Dimas high school football rules!”  It’s on the agenda, biznatch.

I LOVE… Secret Life of the American Teenager
I LOVE… that I slept the whole night through last night.
I LOVE… the dream I had.
I LOVE… that PQ and Courtni care about how happy I am as a person.
I LOVE… that I I’m not forcing myself to finish reading Utopia just because I started it (new rule!).
I LOVE… rules.  My rules in particular.
I LOVE… that it’s Friday.

What do YOU love today?!?!!!!

I LOVE… vacations.
I LOVE… my boyfriend.
I LOVE… prime rib cooked just right with au jus.
I LOVE… long hot bubble baths.
I LOVE… taking long hot showers.
I LOVE… Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love.
I LOVE… warm colored sunsets on cold days.
I LOVE… knitting.
I LOVE… how much love I have for the world, even on the darkest of days.

Head on over to PQ’s page to see HER I LOVE…Fridays post!