Life Under Construction

Posts Tagged ‘Alli’

One of the things I heard most often as a small child was “Take your sister and go play outside.  And stay out of The Gravel Pit.”

Of course that’s right where we headed.

In the way back of our backyard at The Gray House was a hill you could drive a car down that led straight to The Gravel Pit.  Almost at the bottom of the hill there was a little path through the woods that led to The Old Oak Tree (basically just an old tree that had fallen down that we claimed as a fort), so Alli and I would veer right down that path to go to The Old Oak Tree just in case.  I mean, you couldn’t see the path or The Old Oak Tree from the house but we were kids and being overcautious.  We didn’t want to get in trouble!  Alli and I usually climbed on the fallen tree (that wasn’t really an oak tree, but how were we supposed to know that?) and sat for what we deemed was an appropriate amount of time in case mommy came looking for us, then we’d sneak the remaining twenty feet or so to the edge of The Gravel Pit and run around the very edge to another path we’d discovered toward the very back.  It was a weird place we found, and we got in trouble one time because we definitely couldn’t hear anyone calling for us from there, but we liked it.  There was a discarded mattress we could jump on without getting in trouble.  There were some old baseball cards (my favorite was a Darryl Strawberry – I didn’t know anything about baseball at the time except that my dad said Rocket Roger was the best pitcher and Wade Boggs had a hole in his glove – and I really liked strawberries….) we’d look at and it was just our extra special secret place.

There was an unspoken code of honor when Alli and I were kids.  The I won’t tell if you won’t code.  And even then if one of us slipped up and told on the other, the offended party wouldn’t retaliate.  Because to retaliate would mean that we probably got into MORE trouble with the grownups, and if there was anything we understood as children it was that we had to stick together.  We understood what it meant to get in trouble, and we understood what we had to do to keep each other and ourselves OUT of trouble.

As we’ve gotten older that code has sort of dissolved.  I’m still the big sister, the protective one (the enabler).  But instead of being my partner in crime, Alli has taken another path through the woods so-to-speak.  She’s on some super secret path of her own that I can’t see ever going down, and our only interaction is when she reaches out because she wants something or needs something.  Do we adventure anymore?  No.  Not together, at least.  Our friendship, like our partnership, has started to dissolve over time.

The Old Oak Tree is crumbling and breaking and decayed.  The secret path to the discarded mattress and our super secret hideout is no longer discernible through the forest.  And Alli and I can’t rely on each other the way we used to.  Sometimes growing up is no fun.

But no matter what happens, I’ll always always always love my little sister.

I’m going to tell you this story about how I hijacked a van when I was a wee child, somewhere around ripe old the age of 5 or 6.

Not to be confused with the time that same year I had decided to see what smoking a cigarette was like when my mom left one burning in the ashtray of the old blue Chevette in the driveway at The Gray House to run back into the house to grab something, and thought I would die but hid my discomfort because I didn’t want to get in trouble as she came back out and got in the car to take me to I Don’t Remember Where.  Yeah.  Not to be confused with that day.

We were in the van – I don’t remember who’s van it was – in the driveway of my grandparents’ new house (( at least I’m pretty sure that’s where we were… I think… )) with both of my sisters, Alli and Sarah, and our cousin Jerin.  I don’t know how I got the notion in my head that pulling the lever next to the steering wheel was a good idea (( come to think of it now, there might have been a lit cigarette involved here, too )), but I did it and suddenly we were in what I now know to be ‘neutral’ and the van was slowly rolling backwards.

Toward the street.

I was crying in the front seat while Sarah and Jerin were panicking, and Alli was “reading” a Winnie The Pooh or Where’s Waldo? book – completely oblivious to what was going on the entire time.

Where were the grown ups, you ask?  And why were we children often left unattended in vehicles?  Well, I’ll tell you.

It was the late 80’s.  There were no rules about leaving children or pets unattended in vehicles for any period of time (( or wearing seat belts, for that matter )).  I mean really, how much trouble could 4 kids aged 11 and under get into while waiting in a van in the driveway?

Quite a bit, the grown ups learned, as my uncle ran around the back of the van to try and stop it from rolling into the road.  I’m pretty sure Sarah jumped out too and was trying to help him, but I was in full on panic mode by that point (( what can I say, I started early )) and all I remember from between fits of sobs is that a) Alli in all her 4 year old glory was still oblivious to what was going on, and 2) I was terrified that my sister and uncle were getting sucked under a gigantic moving vehicle and it was all my fault.

Oh, and I think the front driver side door was open beside me.

That’s a lot for a small child.

Maven posted a blog earlier this week titled Maven and The Case of the Peeping Tom turned Homicidal Maniac, and the comment I was about to leave was entirely too good to be a comment for just Maven to read.  So I decided to blog it here instead.  It’s so good, I want everyone to read it.

Read Maven’s blog here to get where I’m coming from with this.  She is the master of awesome.

…

I am the leaper afraid of the toe monster under the bed.  You know, the one with the sharp teeth and scary claws that you’re sure is going to take a swipe for your footsies?  Once the lights go out, I’m all knees and elbows trying to get into my bed.  I’ll destroy anyone’s limbs or face if it’s in the way of my scramble for safety (because blankets are the perfect picture of safety, right?).  I blame my mother for chasing me with the vacuum on several occasions during the course of my childhood.

In fact, if I’m ever being chased by anyone or anything, I run like the hounds of Hell are on my heels and my toes are going to get swallowed forever.  For similar reasons, I also don’t like when people are walking behind me.  If I’m with a group of people, you can bet your ass I’m one of the ones in the back of the group while we walk.  At work I have a mirror positioned just right against my window so that I can see anyone walking into or by my cubicle.

I’m not sure if I have any “secret” fears, but I do have some that make me act quite… irrational I guess you could say.

It’s happened a few times that I’ve been convinced my house was being robbed and I was going to have to defend myself (most likely has nothing to do with the fact that one time I was robbed, and probably everything to do with my paranoia and active imagination and anxiety).

When I was living in my grandmother’s house I kept a dagger in my bedroom.  A real one.  Ornate and sharp.  If anyone asked me about it I could say ‘oh this old thing?’ and tell them it was just decorative.  Well, this one time in particular, probably about three years ago now (shutup), Alli and I were in our bedroom in the basement at our respective computers, where we always were (always).  We were just sitting there doing our gaming thing when we heard someone come in the house.

Everyone else was at work or school, and it wasn’t time for them to be home yet.

This someone was walking around kind of slow.  Having lived in the basement for quite some years we had each developed this really precise knack for knowing exactly who’s footsteps we were hearing.

(Come to think of it now, it’s really more of a science or an art what we’d developed over the years.  But anyway…)

This one, we knew right away, was one set of footsteps that shouldn’t be in our house.

It was a man.  It wasn’t any man that was supposed to be in the house.  Instantly we’re both in full on panic mode.  We thought we would be able to hide in our super secret basement bedroom until this stranger left, because the back door makes far too much noise for us to leave unnoticed.

Living together for more than two decades, we’d learned to communicate with our eyes.  Sort of.

Silently we each grabbed some kind of weapon, just in case, you know?  There was always a weapon handy in case of emergencies like this.  Since my dagger was all the way on the other side of my room I picked up this bow and arrow set from when I was a kid that was actually pretty dangerous (way more dangerous than any toy you can get these days) and Alli grabbed the piece of the refrigerator that was on the floor on her side of the room (don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to).  The door at the top of the stairs opened, and in a state of fierce confidence that can only come from utter terror, we waited behind our door as the footsteps came down the stairs.  We counted in our heads.  13 steps in total to reach the bottom.  Just before the footsteps reached the basement floor, we whipped open the door and prepared to assault…  my mother’s boyfriend.

The poor guy.  And we thought we were scared!  Imagine you’re doing a simple favor for your girlfriend only to find yourself an inch away from getting assaulted with a deadly missile weapon and part of an old refrigerator.  By these two weirdos…

This is a story I’ll be telling my grandchildren.  It’ll be one of those ‘beware or you’ll end up like granny’ stories.  I just know it!

I LOVE…  having Walter here.  IN MY ROOM.

I LOVE…  that Walter is meeting my friends and family.  And that he’s in my room.

I LOVE…  hot tea on a cold morning.

I LOVE…  sheet cake.

I LOVE…  making beef stew.  Om nom nom.

I LOVE…  that Alli and Robert are not only getting along, but that they’re best friends.  No more hitting, choking, threatening, or arguing.  It is glorious!

I LOVE…  Mitch Hedberg.

I wasn’t going to blog today since I’m on “vacation” and all, but I really felt like I couldn’t miss a Friday with you guys.

What do YOU love today?

Did I mention that I LOVE that Walter is in my room?  Because I love it.

I LOVE…  that vacation probably starts tonight at 8:01!  I might have to work on Monday, but I won’t know until Sunday I think.  And even if I have to work Monday, I’ll still be happy……

I LOVE…  that once the weekend is over Walter is going to be here.  WALTER. IS. GOING. TO. BE. IN. RHODE. ISLAND. I’ll let that sink in for a minute.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE…  that I’ve almost completed another thing on My List with NaBloPoMo.

I LOVE…  Nerdfighters!  DFTBA!

I LOVE…  all the men and women who fight for this country.

I LOVE…  my sister Alli.  Sometime I’ll tell you the story behind this picture, but I just wanted to show it to everyone today.  I love her so much, she’s a real special kind of special.  And she’s mine.

I LOVE…  the idea I’ve come up with for this year’s NaNoWriMo novel.  I’m keeping it a secret, but I’m wicked excited about it!  I want to start writing it now, but that would be cheating.  And I’m not cheating.

I LOVE…  watching the Red Sox win.

I LOVE…  that after tonight I’m not going to be driving Mike back and forth from Narragansett to work!  I love you, Mike, but I hate that drive every day.

What do YOU love today?

I’m going on a blog vacation next week, if you want to guest post just let me know in the comments or email me at irishgamergirl[at]gmail[dot]com.

It is Monday again!  *Captain Obvious takes a bow*

Greetings, new work week!  I meet you rested and ready to face the day that is Monday!  Not so much Tuesday, for I loathe Tuesdays to the very core of my being (I hope you got the memo).  I feel pretty good!  Also lazy, I’m feeling lazy as well.

Don’t leave your sister out there alone too long, you know she’s afraid of deer.

This is what my mother said to Alli last night while I was sitting in the car waiting for her to come out with her laundry so we could leave.  I’ll never live it down!

OK, so what?  Deer scare the everliving crap out of me at night.  Is that so weird?

I had a pretty good weekend.  I cooked breakfast (corned beef hash, eggs, toast) and dinner (chicken and steak quesadillas) on Saturday for Sarah, Daddy, and John.  Go me!  Yesterday Alli and I went to my mom’s and had dinner.  We watched some TV while Alli did laundry, and I cut Alli’s hair.  I did not get a chance to do laundry this weekend, but I did play WoW with Franco!  I had ice cream, too.  Cotton candy ice cream.  Om nom nom nom.

14 more days until Walter gets here.  That’s two weeks of work.  Then two weeks off.

Also 244 days until my birthday.  I AM CONSUMED BY EXCITEMENT!!!1

How was your weekend?
Does anything scare you at night?
What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

I LOVE…  being me.  It’s not always glamorous (ever, actually) and it’s usually pretty nerve wracking, but I feel like I’m finally coming to learn and understand who I am.  Take that, Uncertainty!  I’m kicking your booty to the curb!

I LOVE…  that Halloween is on a Saturday this year and I get to go trick-or-treating with Sarah and my nephew.  Don’t know what he’s going to be, yet, but I’m sure it’ll be cute!

I LOVE…  that I got home from work yesterday after an emotionally taxing day to find a gift from Walter waiting in the mail.  He bought me 3 Casting Crowns CD’s and sent them via Amazon.  I didn’t even ask for them!  It was like… wow.  I never got a present just because like that before.

I LOVE…  that this weekend I’m going to have someone to play WoW with!  w00t Franco!

I LOVE…  Last.fm.  Unlike Pandora, they have Wizard Rock.  I can flip on that site and type in Wizard Rock and actually listen to The Parselmouths, Ministry of Magic, Harry & The Potters, etc.  EFF YOU, PANDORA!  You don’t got the goods.

I LOVE…  that Alli and I caught the last five minutes of Overboard last weekend at my mom’s clam bake and we both knew all the words.  That movie kicks ass.

I LOVE…  calling Alli a ho.  For us it is a term of endearment.  “Look, you dumb ho.” actually translates to “Look, I love you but you are being rather dumb.”

I LOVE…  green and pink.  Not always together, they’re just my favorite colors.

I LOVE…  that Walter is awesome enough to want to read my blogs, and that I don’t have to force him to or even ask him to.  He’s usually read them before I know it, and is often first to comment.  It’s amazing that he actually has an interest in something that means so much to me.

I LOVE…  when my dad tries to be intimidating and just ends up being cute.

I LOVE…  My Chemical Romance.  The Black Parade is one of my all time favorite albums on the planet.  It’s right up there with Dookie, American Idiot, The Anatomy Of The Tongue In Cheek, and Let Go.  I love listening to albums one song at a time, all the way through.  When I find a CD I can do that with, I fall in love with it.

I LOVE…  The Time Traveler’s Wife.  I can’t imagine it having ended any differently.  Yes, it was sad, but not all stories end happily.  This book was an exceptional example of that.

I LOVE…  Walter.  My darling, hilarious Walter.

Walter says:
Okay.
He wears dentures and hugs his daughter.
…I’m dead. lol
He prolly has a spare set of vampire fangs!
< jaime > says:
Chocolate mike
almost just came out my nose.
*milk
Walter says:
milk?
LOL!
< jaime > says:
My dad isn’t into vampires.
Walter says:
That’s nowhere even CLOSE!
< jaime > says:
He likes LOTR and Star Trek
Walter says:
Mike
Milk.
That’s totally bad.
LOTR has sauron!
< jaime > says:
look, it’s dark in here and I can’t see!
Walter says:
And Trek has Borgs.
< jaime > says:
My dad hates Sauron.
Walter says:
You don’t need to see to type.
< jaime > says:
I do.
lolz
Walter says:
You look at the keyboard?
< jaime > says:
Look, when you’re concerned with milk coming out your nose everything else is secondary!
Walter says:
That’s true.
I guess.
That’s the third time this week I think I’ve made you squirt from your nose.
< jaime > says:
It didn’t actually come out.
Walter says:
Darn.
:(

Don’t forget to go check out Walter’s, Lauren’s, and PQ’s I LOVE…Fridays posts!  I need to get a Mr. Linky-type thing, I wonder if it’s WP compatible?

What do YOU love today?  :D

On this delightful Monday morning in which I am not ready to be back at work after a three day weekend preceded by a three day work week preceded by a three day weekend, I’m pondering what to do since Bagels ‘N More is not open on Mondays.

I come to the conclusion that I’m SOL.

I actually went in the pool yesterday at my mom’s.  I went in the pool for the first time in years.  Alli and I had so much fun splashing around and trying to do underwater handstands and somersaults.  She even tried to teach me how to swim like a normal person.

I FAIL.

Don’t judge me because I can’t swim.

And now, because all I wanna do is read and I’m not feeling all that creative, I would like to share with you this special snippet of intense conversation between Alli and I yesterday on MSN before leaving for my mom’s house…

¤ Jaime ¤ says:
I can not wear this dress
this shows too much BOOB
AlRae Inc. ™ says:
PAAAAAAAAANTS!
¤ Jaime ¤ says:
PANTS DON’T COVER BOOBS!
AlRae Inc. ™ says:
OTHER SHIRT!
¤ Jaime ¤ says:
You are my favorite

I had such a great weekend.  How was yours?  Did you do anything fun?  Did you fail in the swimming pool like I did?

I am currently so deep into reading Harry Potter that I can’t even begin to formulate a blog at the moment, so the following blog is a repost from my Myspace blogging days.  It’s one of my favorite blogs I ever wrote.  Enjoy!!!

(for storytelling clarification: I am Irish, and Alli is Miss Hugs)

********************

We interrupt your daily lives to bring you Today’s Top Story!

Today’s Top Story: Irish Sets Cars Aflame, Gets Electrocuted!

I’m reporting to you live on this cold weather day (it is 24 degrees out) to inform you of the insane happenings at the yellow house on the hill.

Let me set the scene, people.

It was about 10:30 am and I had just gotten home with my grandmother from a morning of stress tests at the local hospital (the tests were for grams, not me). Miss Hugs’ van is still parked in the driveway, but the hood is up. She is late for work. Grams and I come in the house and Miss Hugs says “I need you to jump start my van!” to which I replied, “Ok! Mikey Pop showed me how to do this a couple weeks ago!” 

Miss Hugs and I go outside and I start my car. Good car. I pop the hood and the trunk and retrieve the jumper cables from the trunk. Then Miss Hugs and I get in my car while I untie my jumper cables (sue me, I’m a neat freak) because it’s warm in there and it’s effing COLD outside. She’s stupid first, it’s important for all y’all to remember that. We’re each holding a side of the cables and she opens her door, thinking that somehow we’re going to each get out our respective doors with an end of the cable. Its ok, I told her she was a dummy. So I get the cables and I hook the red up to the negative and the black up to the positive (shut up you don’t know anything yet!!!). Then I go over to her car and do the same thing. Once the black up to the positive side I feel a jolt that throws me back some inches and flames start to flicker on the battery. I GOT ELECTROCUTED, PEOPLE. 

Oops!!! 

Miss Hugs leaves me to fend for myself as smoke arises from both cars. I run around, rip my car keys out of the ignition and hightail it in the house into the living room where Miss Hugs has the phone and she’s screaming “should I call 911?!” and grams is yelling at us for screaming and calling us stupid for making the cars smoke. 

“Call Daddy!” I tell my sister, and she throws the phone at me, it is dialing. I take the phone and head outside, the cars are still smoking very badly and I run back inside to the safety of my house and I tell my dad what happened and he tells me to get the cables off of at least one of the cars.

OMFG IS HE KIDDING ME?! 

I go out and Miss Hugs points out that the yellow cord had melted off the wires and the wires were all exposed. My dad says get some rubber gloves, pull the wires off, he’ll he here in twenty minutes and don’t let Miss Hugs start her car.

But he wants me to start my car. Yeah right. 

So Miss Hugs grabs two rubber dishwashing gloves, we each wear one and try and get the cables off her van since her car was not the one all charged up. The cables are hot to the touch even through the gloves (let’s face it, people: dishwashing gloves aren’t all that thick) but I manage to get them both off with minimal help from Miss Hugs.

Sometimes she’s just good for comedic value, and moral support.

We grab our cameras because, of course, I need to blog about this and I need pictures to do it! I call my dad, he’s on the way. He’s not happy at all. We take all the pictures we can and only then realize that when Miss Hugs grabbed the dishwashing gloves she grabbed two left handed gloves. Both sets are ruined now. But that’s ok, they’re just dishwashing gloves.

I had to tell someone. And Lo! my friend PQ is online so I tell her how it all went down. She probably thinks I’m some kind of stupid freak now, but I guess that can’t be helped. And then my dad got here. Whew, was he angry. He was beyond angry, he was growling. That means he’s mad, people. He looked at my car and then at Miss Hugs’, he orders me to take my car to my uncle Uncle’s garage to have him make sure I didn’t fry something. He tells Miss Hugs she’s S.O.L. until Uncle can come down here and take a look at her van. That thing still ain’t going anywhere, it isn’t a battery thing.

Daddy says Jerry isn’t allowed to touch the van! And my mother isn’t allowed anywhere near the building! My poor daddy. He has to save one of us like once a week. It’s only Monday and this is the second time he’s had to come to the rescue this week. I’m not kidding when I say he’s the greatest dad in all of existence. The poor man. In the meantime I’m in hysterics, laughing my head off like a crazy hyena. I’ve realized that it wasn’t even noon yet and I’d already started two cars on fire and gotten electrocuted.

So I called work. I called out of work. I can’t go in like this! Louise got a good laugh out of it, and I need to take my car to my uncle’s shop. Miss Hugs is so coming with me and she knows it. I can’t face Uncle without her since she’s my accomplice. Especially not when Uncle thinks I’m car-tarded in the first place. I’m determined to not be the only car-tarded person getting the blame here!

So that’s my story. It’s sad but true. Don’t hate. 

It’s only fair to tell you all that her van escaped unscathed, with just minor bruising.  But it still won’t start.  HA HA.

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix came out as a movie.

In 2007.

And I didn’t know about it.

How can this have happened?  WHERE WAS I?!!!

For a few years now I’ve been seriously thinking they were skipping a book in the series of movies.  But I was wrong.

Then I thought, well maybe I saw it and I just forgot… because I do that a lot with a lot of stuff.  But that didn’t happen, either.

Alli and I should have known this movie had come out.  We just. should have. known.

For shame.