Life Under Construction

I’m going to tell you this story about how I hijacked a van when I was a wee child, somewhere around ripe old the age of 5 or 6.

Not to be confused with the time that same year I had decided to see what smoking a cigarette was like when my mom left one burning in the ashtray of the old blue Chevette in the driveway at The Gray House to run back into the house to grab something, and thought I would die but hid my discomfort because I didn’t want to get in trouble as she came back out and got in the car to take me to I Don’t Remember Where.  Yeah.  Not to be confused with that day.

We were in the van – I don’t remember who’s van it was – in the driveway of my grandparents’ new house (( at least I’m pretty sure that’s where we were… I think… )) with both of my sisters, Alli and Sarah, and our cousin Jerin.  I don’t know how I got the notion in my head that pulling the lever next to the steering wheel was a good idea (( come to think of it now, there might have been a lit cigarette involved here, too )), but I did it and suddenly we were in what I now know to be ‘neutral’ and the van was slowly rolling backwards.

Toward the street.

I was crying in the front seat while Sarah and Jerin were panicking, and Alli was “reading” a Winnie The Pooh or Where’s Waldo? book – completely oblivious to what was going on the entire time.

Where were the grown ups, you ask?  And why were we children often left unattended in vehicles?  Well, I’ll tell you.

It was the late 80’s.  There were no rules about leaving children or pets unattended in vehicles for any period of time (( or wearing seat belts, for that matter )).  I mean really, how much trouble could 4 kids aged 11 and under get into while waiting in a van in the driveway?

Quite a bit, the grown ups learned, as my uncle ran around the back of the van to try and stop it from rolling into the road.  I’m pretty sure Sarah jumped out too and was trying to help him, but I was in full on panic mode by that point (( what can I say, I started early )) and all I remember from between fits of sobs is that a) Alli in all her 4 year old glory was still oblivious to what was going on, and 2) I was terrified that my sister and uncle were getting sucked under a gigantic moving vehicle and it was all my fault.

Oh, and I think the front driver side door was open beside me.

That’s a lot for a small child.

I LOVE…  listening to music.  I don’t usually listen to music unless I’m driving, but lately I’ve been turning on my iTunes and leaving the volume on v quiet so that it’s like my life has a soundtrack.  Unless I’m watching TV or YouTube videos… then I press pause.  But the music is so low that I’m not even aware that it’s there and it doesn’t disrupt my concentration (we all know how hard that is to come by)… but at the same time I’m hearing it.  Current music of choice: Classic Rock and Soft Rock.  That’s right, baby.

Did you know that the word ‘noise’ actually comes from the Latin word nausea?  Did you know ‘nausea’ was Latin?  I didn’t.  I love Wikipedia.

I LOVE…  “window shopping” on The Online, but I don’t like actually purchasing most things online.  I’m all about instant gratification when purchasing the bulk of what I shop for.  Especially clothes.  I hate buying clothes when I haven’t tried them on first.  And I just ordered a Natalie Dee t-shirt off The Interwebz, so I hope it fits because I’ll be too lazy to send it back if it doesn’t.  And I really like it.  So I hope it fits.

I LOVE…  LOST!!!  But I hate it, too.  I love it and I hate it.  It’s that good.

Speaking of Lost, I LOVE…  The Oceanic Six.

I LOVE…  funny TV shows more than any other genre.  Friends has been my ultimate favorite show in the history of ever, but now The Big Bang Theory is seriously giving my beloved Friends a run for its monies.  The battle will be fierce.  Is there room on the top of my favorites list for two shows?  We’ll see…

I LOVE…  looking through the list of movies on Hulu.  Sometimes they have the funniest tags in the descriptions.

Scary toothy monster?  Really, Hulu?

I LOVE…  getting letters from my husband.  I actually keep the last letter he sent me in my purse.  We don’t write all the time because we talk on the phone pretty regularly, but there’s something special about getting a letter.  I like it.

I LOVE…  finding things I’d forgotten about, and that instant feeling of elation that comes along with remembering how important something was to you upon recovering it.

What do YOU love today?

Nerdfighters unite!!!

My friend John Pham (@phampants) needs your help.  He and his friend Karen are applying to be a part of the 2010 Ford Fiesta Movement.

Could you spare the 5:14 you were going to use to read my blog today to watch his video?

I hope I get a chance to vlog with John someday.  He’s a really fun guy.

Do what you can to support him?  For me?  Pretty please?

All you have to do it watch and rate the video, comment on it (tell them I sent you… or not, as long as you comment), and then tell @fordfiesta how awesome John and Karen are.  The more support they get, the better their chances of getting noticed by the Ford Fiesta Movement.

Making menial decisions is not my forte.  At all.  Big decisions = easy as pie (I love pie).  Wee decisions = OMFG what if I pick wrong (I hate being wrong)???!!

Here, let me give you an example.

It’s a regular day here at the house and I’m all by my little lonesome with all these hours ahead of me before anyone gets home.  I can play a game or watch a movie or read a book, but I’m trying to decide what would be the best use of my time.

All three options are enjoyable activities, but the dilemma I’m facing is this:  What if I pick wrong?

Now I know what you’re thinking, because I think it too.  You’re thinking If you like doing all three, how can any one decision be wrong? and If you don’t like doing what you’re doing you can always change your mind and do something else!

But again, I ask myself…  What if I pick wrong?

I’m wondering now why I don’t have a Magic 8 Ball.  Seriously… why don’t I have one?

But then again, I’d probably second guess that too.  Good thing I have Sarah to straighten me out.

Actually, I suck at making big decisions too.

It’s what I feel for the BlackBerry.

I’m blaming Sarah, because she’s been talking about getting a new cell phone for a while now and when I said “Maybe I’ll get a new cell phone too!” she said “You can give your old one to Daddy!”.  Well… that sealed the deal.  If I can do something nice for my dad, I’m on board.

That afternoon I drove on over to the AT&T store and bought a new BlackBerry Curve 8520.  Everyone I know that owns a BlackBerry LOVES it, so I was destined to love it as well.  Or so I thought…

It wasn’t even in my possession for 24 hours and still I hate it more than I hate all the people I dislike in the world put together.  INCLUDING TONI BRAXTON.

I hated the texting.
I hated the five billion icons in the menu.
I hated how hard it was to change settings.
I hated how small it felt on my face when I was talking on it.
I hated the mobile web.
I hated the FaceBook app.
I couldn’t find a single thing about it that I liked.

I was freaking out.

Less than five hours after owning it I wanted to smash it with a hammer and watch shards of it scatter all over my room.  I couldn’t get to sleep that night because of how much I hated it.  I was so anxious about it.  Did I want an iPhone instead?  Did I really hate the iPhone when I had it?  Rugby or iPhone?  What if they didn’t have a Samsung Rugby when I went to return the BlackBerry?  What if they had them, but only in yellow?  I hate the yellow!  I wanted the black!  Would I rather keep the BlackBerry than get a yellow Rugby?  If I had to get a yellow one, would my dad trade me my old phone back to me for the new one?

‘Separation anxiety’, anyone?

Of course all that worrying was pointless (it often is, after the fact).  I drove to Groton because it was the closest place with a black Rugby (I wasn’t about to wait 3 more days for them to get one delivered in town), and I didn’t like the new one either so I went to my dad’s and traded the new one for the old one.  And now we’re all happy.  Daddy has a brand new phone, I have my beloved Rugby back, the BlackBerry is forever (FOREVER) gone from my life, and no one has to listen to me complain about it anymore.

I had planned to share something else with you today, but after the BlackBerry incident I felt I needed to get that out of my system first.

How was your weekend?
What kind of phone do you have?
Does anything keep you up at night?

I LOVED…  Avatar.  It was a pretty good science fiction movie.  I have to admit I was skeptical, because I’m often skeptical about things everyone and their brother has a high opinion of – but I was happy with it.  It was like Pocahontas, Ferngully, and Braveheart all rolled into one with mecha and blue aliens.  I give it two thumbs up.  I can’t wait to watch it with Sarah, and again with my husband.

I LOVE…  how is babby formed?.  I watch it over and over and over and over and over again.  Seriously… because it’s looped.

I LOVE…  Pentel RSVP fine ball point pens.  I always have one with me and I like to do all of my writing with them.  Is it weird that I have such a particular pen preference?  I don’t think so…

I LOVE…  reading a book I’ve already read and catching stuff I didn’t catch the first (or second) time.

I LOVE…  THIS LOST BLOG.  Seriously.  I’m SO ready for Lost to come back on – even though I gave up re-watching every episode, I’m going to watch at least the last three or four before the season starts back up again NEXT WEEK (!!!).

I LOVE…  when Sarah makes brownies.  The oven is right outside my bedroom door (you literally open my door and there is the oven) and I can smell them even with the door shut.  Mmmmm.

I LOVE…  living with Sarah.  When I was little all I wanted was her attention and to be her friend.  So I did stupid things like touch all her stuff and play with all her toys – because even though she just got mad at me and was very mean to me, at least she paid attention to me.  Now look at us.  I live with her for the first time in over a decade and she’s one of my very best friends in the whole world.

I LOVE…  that my husband goes out of his way to do things for me even while he’s in Iraq.  I love that he makes time for me, and that it’s almost time for him to come home.

I LOVE…  making videos, and getting comments on said videos.

What do YOU love today?

I spent the day reading blogs.  Actually reading them, because lately I’ve been skimming most of them.

Sorry guys.  Don’t hate me?

I realized that part of the reason I feel so disconnected lately is because I haven’t been reading.

I also unsubscribed from a few blogs, because the number of new blog posts that appear in my reader daily is daunting and sort of turns me off reading any blogs at all.

I wanted to share with you guys, the handful of readers that have stuck with me (I love you guys), some of the best blogs I’ve read this week.  And I’m going to promise to put more effort into my blogs, because you’re all probably rolling your eyes at the sight of my blog in your reader, knowing that lately I’ve just been posting drivel and rubbish.  So I promise to post things worth reading.  I really appreciate you guys, and you deserve better and I’m going to give it to you.

I know the stuff I’ve been posting is crap, because I don’t even enjoy writing it – and if I don’t like writing it how will anyone enjoy reading it?

I probably won’t be posting every day anymore, I’ve stopped doing that already, but when I post I’ll make it good.  At least good enough for me.

Just please don’t give up on me!

Anyhow, you should read these blogs because they’re awesome:

A Beautiful Mess
Balls, I tell you. Balls.
How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You

And lastly… Are You Living Life To The Fullest? where I earned Comment of the week for the following comment…

“I’m usually earlier than anyone else I have plans with (which is sad because I’m chronically late [I'm my father's daughter]). Waiting for anyone really does a number on my anxiety, let me tell you! I expect to be going out for a night of fun and end up not enjoying myself and requiring tranquilizers to get to sleep.

Are they even coming?
What did I do wrong?
Do they hate me?
Did I miss a phone call? An email?
Is this some kind of sick joke?
Are they going to laugh at me?
Am I going to find out tomorrow that I got played for a fool and everyone was in on it?
Is everyone in on it?
Are they watching me from somewhere I can’t see to see how long I’ll wait here like an idiot?
Are people staring?
Have I been here too long?
What’s an acceptable time to wait here before I leave?
Should I look dejected or indifferent?
Which is less embarrassing?
Do I look weird waiting here?
Can people tell I’m freaking out?
Where are they?!!!!!!!!
What if he/she is hurt?!
What if they’re dying and I’m sitting here thinking the worst about them?
Am I a bad friend?
Is it OK to be worried and angry?
Do I have the right to be angry?
Am I at the right place?

And then when whomever it is I am waiting for finally shows I’m a mess and a wreck and I have to fake it the entire time because even though the relief that they showed and I wasn’t the point of a joke is overwhelming, the damage has already been done and nothing less than Xanax will make it go away. Good luck getting me out of the house for the next few days. It’s so hard being me.”

Have a great week, everyone.  Don’t forget to check out the blogs I shared with you, and would you please leave me a comment just saying ‘hi’?  It has occurred to me many times over the least year that I don’t know many of you.  My question for everyone today, whether you’re a regular commenter or a lurker, is…

What is your favorite color?

Mine is pink.  And green.  I have a hard time picking a favorite anything.  ^^

(pee ess – I enjoyed writing this blog)

I went to lunch with my friend Kyle on Friday.  We get together once or twice a year, and every time we say “we need to do this more often” but we never do.  If that’s not a clear case of lifegetsintheway, I don’t know what is.

And Friday night?  Sarah and I couldn’t get the TV to work – we were trying to watch Dead Poets Society and the TV wasn’t recognizing the DVD player or the Wii.  We had to have our upstairs neighbor come check it out, and of course when he touched it the stupid thing started working immediately.

This weekend went by pretty fast.  I vlogged about some of it.

I think I have a second chin, which is disgusting.  I say ‘um’ and ‘oh’ a lot.  I need to get better at making videos.

But in other news, Walter just told me “you are awesome in every way”.  And so my day has been made.

How was your weekend?
Have you tried to make butterbeer before?
Got any exciting plans for this week?

I LOVE…  getting a full night sleep (which I did not get last night).

I LOVE…  that I got to be there with Lauren last night for her bachelorette party.  Her sister is wicked cool, and it was awesome to spend time with my cousin Crystal – even if Lloyd McDrunkerson was jumping in all the pictures of Lauren and her friends, and even if the mechanical bull was out of order.

I LOVE…  building the “tallest tallest tower” with my nephew.  Lincoln Logs will never go out of style (even though they come with plastic pieces these days that never came in the sets when I was wee).

I LOVE…  that my nephew is hilarious without even trying.

I LOVE…  that my friends are so supportive of me.  We might not be able to see each other as often as we’d like, but they’re always there for me when I need them and they know I’m here for them too.  It feels amazing.

I LOVE…  playing FlyFF.  I just wish I had someone to play with.  Alli doesn’t play it anymore and she’s been my biggest gaming partner ever, so without her I kind of don’t know what to do…

I LOVE…  the idea of never owning another pet ever again.

I LOVE…  lame jokes.  Where do you get virgin wool?  Ugly sheep!

I LOVE…  knowing that I’m going to have an awesome weekend filled with Harry Potter and butterbeer and fangirl fun.  Oh yeah… and Christina.  :]  There will be pictures and video to share when the weekend is over!

What do YOU love today?

“I gulped down my gillyweed jumped into the lake
Not knowing who the masters of the tournament would take
I dodged the merpeople and the grindylow
And saw three pretty girls there floating in a row
But it was freaking Ron Weasley who was waiting for me
She was the prize for Cedric Diggory”
- Dead Boy’s Girlfriend, Hank Green

…

So I’ve kind of not been around.  I didn’t intended on not blogging, but I’ve been kind of busy with other things over the last few days.  I started re-watching Lost from the beginning, but then I lost interest three episodes in because I don’t care how it all started anymore, I just want to see how it ends.  I love that show, but it has been a LONG six years.

I went to see Youth In Revolt, and it rocked.  Michael Cera made me laugh, and everyone in the movie was good.  I really want to read the book now, though.  I know what I’m spending my Barnes & Noble gift card on (you know, some time in the next century when I actually get to a B&N).

I need a new background for my blog.  I want to design something myself, but I’m uber lazy and interested in other things.  I’m playing FlyFF again, which is more fun when you actually have someone to play with (maybe I can convince Sarah to play with me) but it’s still fun.  I got so wrapped up in WoW (which I’ve cancelled my subscription for because I’m jobless and have no income) that I forgot how fun FlyFF can be.

It’s a free game, but I actually spent quite a bit of money on it in the past on getting stuff from the cash shop, so my char is wicked cute.

The excitement of Google Wave has kind of died, and that makes me sad.  I’m still excited to have it, but it seems like no one else is interested in using it anymore.  I’m hoping that will change when more people have it.

Got my hair cut this week.  New hair cut = old hair cut + bangs.

I feel so uninteresting at the moment, but I wanted to let you all know that I’m still here even though it’s been (an uncharacteristically long) four days.  Tomorrow will bring the usual ILF blog, and on Monday I’ll have a super awesome blog about my super awesome weekend at MC’s house watching all the Harry Potter movies (because I know you all care so deeply about my HP obsession).

What have you done this week?