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She’s Not Me
Have you ever noticed how some people are just determined to figure out your life for you?
You have one or maybe two drinks in a day, you obviously have a drinking problem.
You’re loud in bed, so you must be cheap.
You have strong Southern manners, therefore, you are fake.
Oh, and my number one favorite. You genuinely care for someone-so you’re obviously in love.
Life is a growth process and most of the time I welcome those opportunities. Sometimes, they just beat you down. The fact is, that you truly can’t please everyone and my goal is to be a good mom and hopefully please myself in the process occasionally. I’m under no obligation to be who Mom or Dad or his mom or anyone else decides I ought to be.
My only obligation is good parenting. Be true to myself. Hell, that’s a tall order as it is with the whole world pulling at every limb!
I’ve been dating the same guy since October. I care for him deeply, but I know it’s not going to be any more serious than what it is right now. Would I like it to be more? Probably, but the longer I’m in this the more I realize that there’s just nothing wrong with spending time with someone who is good to me, cares for me and has a really good time with me.
His mother, unfortunately, doesn’t really see it that way.
I’m not his dead wife.
I’m not his wonderful female best friend.
I’m just…
me.
So it really doesn’t matter who I am, I FAIL.
Part of it makes me really angry. She’s rude, she’s insensitive. She’s the opposite of everything I know about men and their mothers in the South.
That’s what I get for dating a Yankee I suppose.
The other part of me just wants to brush her off as shallow and ignorant-but, well, she intimidates me. I’m not usually easily intimidated, but she rules over their house like the Queen Bee she’s been allowed to be since his wife died.
He shares some responsibility for her actions. Survival mode required him to put her in this position without much thought to the long term consequences. She’s with them all day and then he treats her as a baby-sitter at night. Well, those night plans usually include me, so, obviously I must be the culprit.
None of this is neither here nor there I suppose, really, because I’m the only one in this equation I can affect. All I can do is do me. Everyone else can just suck it.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed! Posted on March 13th, 2009 | Uncategorized | Leave a comment or Track back.
So he is a momma’s boy?
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RiseAgain Reply:
March 14th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
He’s actually really not. His wife died suddenly in a drunk driving accident. He moved Mom here from out West. She’s overbearing and he’s ridiculously laid back so she takes control by default.
It was better today. She’s being nice.
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LivingWicked Reply:
March 18th, 2009 at 3:27 am
Good. I hope for your happiness’ sake she gets over it.
I can understand why she may be a bit overbearing though… that was tragic I bet.
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That last paragraph says it all. While your situation sucks, you should only worry about the things you can affect.
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