Neurotic Ramblings

Archive for the ‘the quitter files’ Category

One week. Whoo! One week smoke-free. That’s HUGE. And yes, I’m proud. This morning I almost gave in, drove all the way back home to get one from my just-in-case-party-pack, but didn’t. That pack is only for smoking when I got out. Yeah, I’m not quitting all the way yet, but just not smoking on the regular is big for me.

I bought my costume last night. It was almost like fate. I had originally (like way back in March when I started planning for Halloween…shudup, it’s my first year dressing up) planned to go as a sailor pin-up girl. Then decided I was too fat. But somewhere between then and now I shed some poundage and yesterday I snagged the last Sailor Girl costume at Hot Topic. It was a large. And it Fit. Almost a bit too big, but YAY! Aaaand it was 50% off! Now I just need to find me some kick ass red heels and I’ll be set. And if I can manage to find a long blonde wig I’m going as Sailor Moon. Remember her??? (yes, I realize I’m a wee bit of a dork)

My Costume (sans peticoat)

Close enough to pull it off, no?

Can someone please explain to me why it is that I only see tons of stuff I like at the mall when I’m broke? It’s incredibly frustrating. When I’m actually looking for something, I almost never find it. Yesterday, it was like dresses and platform pumps galore. I wanted to cry. Maybe fashion goes by the same principle of love as in “it always comes when you’re not looking for it” or something of the sorts.

I’m way too spazzy to type anything cohesive today…obvs…but I just needed to document the fact that it’s been a week. Oh, and I also lost 4 lbs. Yeah, it’s been a good week.

How’s your hump day going?

Oh, and I added that google friend connect thing on the right…be a doll and subscribe so it’s not all empty and stuff!  Besos!

Buenos dias mis lovelies.

It has come to my attention that I need to quit smoking.  It’s either that, or have a heart attack.  Tough choice. 

I woke up Saturday morning with a slight headache and my eyes feeling like they were going to pop out of their sockets.  I figured I just needed to eat so I gobbled down a banana, all the while complaining because I am not a breakfast person.  At around 10:00 am I took my blood pressure.  149/90.  Not so high, but high enough. 

My mom made me drink vinegar with water which is supposed to bring it down.  It didn’t.  I attempted to take a nap but I couldn’t sleep because my heart was racing, my head was pounding and I could barely see.  I didn’t say anything because I had a baby shower to go to and I thought if I got out of the house and got some fresh air, I’d be fine.  If I had a cigarette it would calm me down.  Wrong.

I had to call my mom to stay on the phone with me while I drove home.  She told me to park and she’d pick me up, but my stubborn ass said no, I could make it home.  Got home, took bp again…159/109.  For a person my age that is BAD.  I broke down crying, my feet and hands were tingling and I could barely see straight.  My head felt like it was being squeezed and beat with a hammer.  I took a bp pill, my grandma gave me a massage and I got an ice pack on my neck.  I was able to doze off for a few hours but when I woke up I was just as bad. 

I noticed everytime something upset me (i.e. kids not wanting to get ready for bed, my brother asking for the laptop, stupid miniscule irrelevant stuff which irritate me for no reason) my heart would start pounding and my headache got worse.  I ended up locked in my room by myself and asleep by 8.

No more salty foods for me.  No more soda.  No more cigarettes.  Definetly no more cigarettes.  I can feel  my heart speed up with every puff and I refuse to let something have control over my body.  I also need to eat healthy and exercise.  Duh, right?  But the one that is going to be the hardest: NO MORE STRESS.  How do I get rid of that?  I can’t help it if little things stress me out.  I get over them, but this time even the slightest hint of stress will have to be reprieved or I’m at risk.  Fuck.

So this weekend the choice was forced upon me to change my lifestyle and get healthy.  I guess I needed that push anyway, but damn, it could have come in a more subtle way.  I really thought I was going to die. 

So anyway, how was your weekend?  I hope better than mine!!!!!