Neurotic Ramblings

Archive for the ‘random musings’ Category

I’m so incredibly happy.  I haven’t been able to stop smiling for two weeks. 

I had finals and worried about how the hell I was going to pay all my bills and it was a hectic and shitty week to say the least, but I still couldn’t stop smiling.

Then came Saturday, and well, it’s all been uphill from there. 

You see, I met someone.  An amazing someone.  Someone who I talked to and texted for what’s going to now be 3 months.  And then I finally met him and everything just clicked.  Things in my life seemed to get better once he came into it.  Like everything aligned and me being happy and positive brought good things to me. 

He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.  He’s thoughtful, and caring and sweet and loving and I could go on and on and on but I’ll stop with the sap.  Just know I’m incredibly happy and things are finally starting to go really, really well for me.

I’ll give you a tidbit on our date Saturday…He picked me up at my place and we drove to McAllen where we had lunch at a sushi bar.  Fuji Apple sake is freaking delish!   Then we went watch The Blind Side.  And then it was off to dinner at house.wine. which was absolutely incredible.  Does this guy know me, or what?!  We hit up some places downtown and then headed back to Bville to meet up with some of my friends.  The day could not have gone any better.  It was perfect.  I am one lucky woman.

In other news, I managed to end the semester with decent enough grades to keep my GPA above a 3.0.  I honestly didn’t think it was going to happen.  The kicker was my World Lit final which I considered not taking since I was sure I was getting a D in the class anyway.  My final grade: B. Mmmhmmm.

Life is great.

You know what I hate?  Cop outs.  Know what else I hate?  When someone says something as a way of washing their hands by leaving the situation up to you and then avoiding the results of the ourcome.  Wait, I guess that is a cop out. 

I am so over this month.  August, you may now go on vacation.  Nevermind, please don’t go.  I need your next two weeks so I can plan my b-day roadtrip appropriately.  But how can I do that when I’m dead ass broke right now and even thinking about spending $5 makes my head start spinning?  September, please hurry up and be here, love, me. 

OMG, guess what I got called today?  A mean ass.  Yeah, not an asshole, or a bitch or any other run of the mill insult, no, a mean ass.  After I regained my composure from being puzzled and laughing my ass off, I was kind of shocked.  Like, wth, man?  And I wasn’t even mean!  Totes out of left field…

It seems like everyone is doing something cool this weekend like, I dunno, going to NY, camping, visiting friends.  Know what I get to do?  Go school supply shopping.  Yaaaay me!   Hopefully I can sneak in a super cool pen or two for myself.  Then maybe I won’t be so cranky.

I have finally regained control over my google reader.  That thing was insane…telling me I had 243 unread posts.  Pffft.  Well, I caught up last night and now I only 4 more to read so now that the list is small I can access them on my super cool app.  No, it’s not an iphone.  The iphone can suck it.

It’s starting to seem as if I could have posted all this in a series of twits and it would have made more sense, but I’m hating twitter right now because I’m following some really stupid accounts that are annoying the hell out of me and I can’t delete them. 

Ugh.  I’m so done with this workday.  Half an hour more to go.  I don’t even want to go visit my family today.  I just want to go home, crawl into bed and watch tv the rest of the day. 

HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND my lovelies.  I promise I’ll be back in a better mood whenever I’m back.  Well, unless it’s Monday.  Everyone know I don’t “do” Mondays.

Besitos!

Karma has been hunting me down lately.  I’d like to say that I’m taking it like a champ, and I am, for the most part anyway.  But if I get kicked in the ass whilst throwing a punch, does it negate the effect of said punch in some karmic loophole?  I sure hope so.  I don’t want to go through this again.

Nurse Jackie is a great show.  I love Edie Falco.  I love that I don’t see a trace of Carmela when she’s acting.

You know who I miss seeing on tv?  Jackie Werner.  That chick is hot.

And it’s not even her body, it’s her eyes, that piercing look…

Speaking of piercings…I still haven’t gotten around to repiercing my nose.  And now I’m rethinking it.  A friend of a friend got the most kickass Marilyn Monroe.  It’s the outline of the black and white fade away print.  I want that.  But the James Dean version.  Then again, I don’t want that to be the first tattoo I ever get because even if it is James Dean, it’s not a meaningful tattoo.  So I think I’ll just stick to buying the wall art on etsy and putting him in my room:

I love my G1.  They finally cracked down on internet usage at work so I can’t even read blogs on my google reader.  Luckily, I downloaded a reader app from the market so I get to blogstalk all you people and you don’t even know it. Lurker I am.  Just not intentionally.

Ok, I’m out.  I’ll leave you with this to think about:

Is  it possible to live in blissful ignorance?  To blatantly refuse to acknowledge the truth that is staring us in the face?  Can a person really ignore a gut feeling for the sake of fake happiness?

I have issues. Yes, we all knew that, but these issues really bother me because they are issues I can control, sort of. You see, I have the hardest time building friendships. I suck at it.

I couldn’t tell you how I started talking to most of my current friends. I can’t remember. I’m sure it was mostly their effort to get to know me and me trying my hardest not to sound lame.

I’m pretty sure since you’re reading this that you also read other blogs. Well, I do too. People write about their life, their past, their TMI moments…so in a way you feel like you know them, right? So you start interacting every now and then and maybe exchange emails and what not, and then what? That’s the part I suck at. I’m not good at interacting. I suck at making small talk. You throw me in front a group of random people and I’m totally fiiiiine, but put me in front of someone who I respect and think is an awesome human being and I freeze. It happens everytime.

I see some of my friends who run in the same circles and know the same people and I’m like, ok, how did they form a friendship and how come I’m just an aquaintance? Oh, exchange phone numbers? People do that on the interwebz? And how exactly does one bring that up without sounding like a stalker/psycho/dork? I guess it’s just me and my damn overthinking. I try so hard to not be lame that I end up coming off as trying too hard which ends up being lame. Aaaaand, I’ve come full circle. Or maybe I’m just not around as much to interact with other people….meh, who knows. Either way, I need to get over it.

Breathe, Rosie. Damn, I got all panicky even typing this…like I said, I’ve got issues.

Why can’t it be like it was in elementary where you could just go up to a kid and ask “Hi, I’m Rosie, wanna be best friends?”??? Well, do ya?

So, am I the only idiot with this issue, or are you a social interwebz recluse as well?
Any tips on chillin the hell out/not being so laaame?

So…remember that list of stuff I was going to do yesterday…well, I got 6 out of 13 so while it’s not quite half…I’m still counting it as a victory.

It turns out I won’t be able to move out anytime soon and I will need a lawyer for the divorce and I figured the issue that needed resolving was not worth the headache but IT’S ALL GOOD.  Life is beautiful.  I paid off what I had to, bought and returned what I had to and dragged the bff along with me to go shopping (holistic way to reduce stress in my book) and I feel goooooood!  (no brazilian, postponed to a visit to mexico since they’re only $8 over there at a spa and they do a better job)

Sooooo, since I’m on a Redbull and sunshine high right now I figured I’d post today’s edition of I LOVE Fridays early:

I LOVE…my new phone and the ghettotastical hot pink zebra print cover I bought for it.  The G1 is amaZing.  You should tots get one.

I LOVE…the new bras I bought @ VS yesterday AND the fact that they were get 2 for $49 (IPEX & BIOFIT)  LOVES IT!

I LOVE…my new outfit and accesories.  For some reason…the jeans at stores like Agaci & Charlotte Russe make my ass and hips look a million times better than designer jeans ever could.  Maybe bcs I actually HAVE ass and hips. 

I LOVE…the weather today.  It’s gorgeous outside…sunny, breezy and cool.  Perfect beach weather.

I LOVE…that I have a date tonight.  It’s something to look forward to.  =)

I LOVE…that it’s FRIDAY!!!

There are times where there is nothing you can say and nothing you can do to help a person feel better.  This is one of those times. 

I feel helpless.  Everything I say is basically stating the obvious.  All I can do is lend an ear and hope for time to heal the wounds.

It has been years since I’ve been heartbroken.  My heart has turned cold since then and as much as I have tried to love and let myself be loved, the cynicism and self-destruction kicks in.  It’s my shield, and while it may be counterproductive, it works for me.  I’d rather spare myself the pain that comes at the end of the joy.

The last time I went through this I hit rock bottom and all the levels of shit and dirt beneath it.  I was reduced to a mere commodity and then dismissed like I was last season’s Jimmy Choo slingbacks.  Or in this case, Salvatore Ferragamo’s.  It took my last shred of dignity I had left.  I was lost.  Utterly, completely, inexplicably lost.

But I bounced back.  It took some time, but I was reborn.  A new, more evolved and self-aware Rosie emerged.

And I have my friends to thank for that.  Especially my Mighty Mouse.  She stuck by me.  Truly stuck by me.  Not like the fake friends that pretended to help but expected something back.  She didn’t sugarcoat it, and when she did, she made sure to bring me back to reality and admit that he was a scumbag and I deserved better.  I faultered, many, many, many times.  I went back to the pit of hell because I was stubborn, but I want you to know that it was her words, texts and im’s that helped me heal and move on.  And I thank you for that, ma.

I hope to be able to the same for my friend.  Except the guy is not scum.  He’s a good guy.  I used to say great, but after this, I’m not so sure.  I hope she bounces back, sans the cynicism (although she already has more than her fair share of it) and without her heart turning cold. 

I wish I could find the magic words or the right santeria to cure the heartache, but I can’t.  For now all I can do is listen and hope it’s enough.

So…last week is a bit of a blur…

I shopped, I partied, I lived like a normal 23 year old.  It was hella fun even after getting stood up by friends on several occassions.  Oh wells. 

Week highlights:

* I got to spend tons of times with my little brother who happened to turn 15 on Friday. 
* Good times with good friends just chillin’ and not worrying about the time.
* My aunts coming to visit from Mexico and Wisconsin.  I love the atmosphere in the house when they’re there.  Plus my grandma’s mood improves 100%.
* Going to buy a pair of shorts and realizing I’ve dropped an entire size. 
* Friday & Saturday night.  Sweet, relaxing nights with a new certain someone of interest.
* Picking up my kids on Sunday.  The house was not the same without them around.  It.was.quiet.  lol

I got strep throat on Thursday which sucked major balls, but it was gone by Saturday noontime so it’s all good.  I didn’t get a full night’s sleep but I still woke up refreshed this morning.

I did my two miles in under 30 minutes today.  I know this may seem like nothing to you, but it’s a big deal to me.  I’m proud of myself.

I watched Rachel Getting Married yesterday.  Depressing movie to say the least.  Good, nonetheless.

This week is back to reality again.  Kids are back, school is back in session, and I’ve got homework to do again.  Yaaaaaaaay.

How was your weekend?

Oh, ptothes…I love, love, love the remix of Kid Cuddy’s Day & Night.