Neurotic Ramblings

Archive for July 27th, 2009

The differences between being a gold-digger and a pampered princess:
A gold-digger is with you because of your assets.  All she is interested in is what materialistic stuff you can give her.

A pampered princess actually likes you for you.  The gifts and dinners and dates and nice things you do for her are icing on top of the cake; they’re part of why she likes you, but not the main reason.

 
A gold-digger expects you to pay.  She has it in her head that it’s your job and that’s about all you’re good for when you’re with her.  If you can’t cover the bill, it seems you’re going to end up washing dishes because she can’t even cover her half.

A pampered princess assumes you’re going to pay since you invited her out, after all, and it’s the gentlemanly thing to do.  She, however, is prepared to foot the bill in case you turn out to be a cheapskate and fiddle with the bill a bit too long implying that either a) you expect her to cover her order or b) you ordered the most expensive meal on the plate and now you want to split it down the middle or the worst of the worst: c) you expect her to cover all of the bill because you picked up the check at McDonalds last time you took her out. 

 
A gold-digger will only hang out with you when you’re looking your best, decked out in your gear and taking her out.  She likes to show you off when you’re flashing your card and showing the world that you spoil her and pay for everything.

A pampered princess likes hanging out with you on a Sunday morning, chillin in pj’s, eating cereal while watching tv.  She likes to show you off both when you’re in your broken-in jeans, t-shirt and sandals or dressed to the 9s and ready to take her out. 

 
I feel like I’m putting way too much thought into this and trying to justify myself.  I want to be spoiled.  I want to be pampered.  I want to be taken care of every once in a while. 

Yes, I love being independent.  I take pride in it.  I want to be able to say I got this for myself and I don’t need anyone to help me get it.  But every once in a while it’s nice to hear, “no, I got this, you deserve it”.  It’s nice to be able to indulge in a luxury without worrying about how it will affect next month’s bills.  No, I’m not saying I expect this 24/7.  Heaven knows I’ve put in more than my fair share of supporting someone, no questions asked.  I have no problem footing the bill every other time.  It’s only fair.  But when I’m made to feel guilty for being taken somewhere, and it’s always by subtleties like a snide comment or a hesitation when the bill arrives, that pisses me the fuck off.  How about you don’t invite me out?  Or if you can’t afford to hang out that night then opt out.  I pay for my friends when I know they’re down and I do it because they’d do the same for me and because I know they won’t take advantage and order the most expensive thing they see, or keep a tab on how many more drinks I’ve had than them, or eat off my plate or my friend’s plate and embarrass the fuck out of me. 

I hate feeling guilty for thinking this way.  I feel hypocritical to think that women deserve the same rights and respect that men get, but still want to be treated like a lady by their guy.  Men have twisted the concept of feminism and liberal women into a web that benefits them.  Since women want to feel powerful and assume “male roles” then they should be able to assume the same roles in the dating world.  Sorry, but no.  If I’m guilty of faulty logic, then so be it.  I’m tired of cheap asses and embarrassment.    I’m tired of saying “don’t worry about it…”  I want to be spoiled.  I want to be pampered.  And I want to feel like I’m worth it.  Not like you’re going out of your way to spoil me only so you can rub it in my face later and tell me about how broke you are now because of that one fucking time you actually did something for me.

Being spoiled is not a bad a thing.  Wanting to be spoiled doesn’t make someone shallow.
Expecting someone to take care of you when you have nothing more to offer than your looks is gold-digging. 

Knowing your worth, being able to offer intellect, looks, wit and good company and allowing yourself to be pampered every now and then is every woman’s right. 

 
What do you think, ladies?  Am I right on point or way off base on this one? 

Guys, am I asking for too much?  What do you expect from a girl when you’re taking her out on a date?  What about if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, do expectations change?

 
*Oh, and please note that this was written a long while back and in no way reflects my current situation.  I’ve been happily single and supporting no one’s habits but my own recently with a smile on my face and a pep in my step.*