Neurotic Ramblings

Archive for July 16th, 2009

I woke up with an almost unsurpassable need to yell “JACKASS!” this morning.
It’s frustrating to not be able to just yell it out and get it over with.

I guess it’s like a requirement for every guy to have at least one friend
who is a douchebag, and one jackass that follows along with said douchebag
every now and again.

Most douchebags are open about their douchebaggery though. One look at the
guy and you just *know* he’s a douche.

Assholes are not usually this easy to spot, their bag of tricks is well
hidden under false pretenses and only used when a threat is sensed, be it a
threat to their ego, their manhood or anything else that might expose them
as being “emotional”. But this blog isn’t about assholes. Nope.

Now, the jackass. The jackass is usually pretty laid back and doesn’t
really *look* for trouble. No, he just sits back and watches the douche
make an ass out of himself. Laughs along, plays along, and then, when the
douchebag has everyone either laughing or reeling at him, he strikes. Usually
it’s a lame ass burn, something that might pierce and hurt a bit; it leaves
you thinking “what the fuck? How dare you?”

So the douchebag doesn’t catch heat because, well, everyone *knows* he’s a
douche and they put up with him anyway, but the jackass usually ends up
upsetting someone with his attempt to be funny or manly or whatever it was
he was trying to do.

In any event, my issue is not with douchebags, assholes *or* jackasses. No,
my issue is with the fake ones. The ones that pretend to be something they
are not; the ones that hide behind a façade of apologies, niceties, and
twisted reasoning. And the sad thing is that they are usually hiding and
talking shit out of spite because of something that happened to them.

If you’re a douchebag, then make no apologies for it. It’s who you are. If
you go around talking shit and apologizing for it just to talk shit again,
it makes you look like a fucking ass.

If you have an issue with someone for whatever fucking reason, then don’t be
lame about it and just talk shit out of your ass. If you dislike someone
then how about staying the fuck away from them? If you get your jollies
from talking shit, you have to know that you’re eventually going to end with
a foot up your ass, right? Right???