Neurotic Ramblings

Stop.  Slow down.  It’s not a race.

I’ve had to say that to myself over and over today.

It’s like a nervous twitch.  Having to finish everything that I start the minute I start working on it.  I type too fast, I click too fast, I dial too fast, I write too fast.

I hurt my fingertips banging on the keyboard too hard.  I clicked on the wrong button and erased an entire file that took me hours to complete.  I misdialed and got a very angry person on the other end of the line.  My post-its look like chicken scratch because I scribbled instead of taking the time to write in my legible, pretty handwriting.

Slow.Down.

My thoughts are always going a million miles an hour and I have to work on that too, but the physical things are easier to work on.  Is it bad that I have more control over my body than my mind?

When I was a kid, people were constantly telling me I spoke too fast. They couldn’t understand what I was saying.  I have always written in the same way that I write so everything would be a neverending run-on sentence.  Through years of training myself to pace and pause for air every now and then, I finally got a grip on it.  You can see that translated into my over-usage of commas, but the thoughts are still a whirlwind and I often find myself re-reading emails and tweets )yes, I mentioned tweets, sue me) only to notice that I completely left off entire fragments of a sentence because my brain was going faster than my fingertips.

I feel like if I take too long to do something, I’ll forget to do it at all.  If I don’t type out my thoughts fast enough, they’ll be forever lost.

On the other hand, I’m a total procrastinator.  Things get pushed into the backburner until the smoke begins to fill the room.  Then I start to put out the fires, and well, everyone knows fires need to be put out rather quickly…so yeah.

Slow Down.