YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Feb 25, 2010 All Things Charli, All Things X, Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Family, Friday Eye Candy, Friendship, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Ranteriffic, This Thing Called Marriage., You've Got Wicked Mail
Happy Friday!!!!!!!!
You know the drill … purge your week out here in open letter form so you can go thoroughly enjoy your weekend!
Dear Sex,
I love you. I missed you.
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Dear Charli,
I am so proud of you for potty-ing, even though you really are fighting it. You are growing up so fast, and as much as I want you to stay my little baby bear Charli face … it is a necessary evil.
I love you.
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Dear Self,
See!? You pulled it off! You walk in the door every day and fight with your own self about having the ability to pull a big deal off, and you fucking killed it.
42K? Really!? That is insane and motherfucking awesome. Now just remember that you can on every call and they will buy something. Because they will.
Stop being your own worst enemy. Knock it the hell off.
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Dear You,
I hate your face. I really really do.
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Dear Friends,
You rocked my world last weekend. Like, ROCKED it. I will never ever forget that. Thanks for being such amazing people. I am constantly floored at the fact that so many people in my life are so god damned amazing. It is something that was sparse for a long long time, and to be surrounded by so many great people is awe inspiring.
I love you all. EXCEPT FOR YOU.
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Dear D,
I am so proud of you for coming home and rocking it. You are a great dad and you are the glue that holds our entire household together. I wish you were more aware of it.
We are gonna tackle the obstacles in front of us. Alllllllllll of them. And in the end, our family will be that much stronger than before.
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Dear Xavier,
Please please please get it together. I just want to love you. I just want to spend time with you. I miss my good little man so much that it hurts my heart to have this dynamic with you.
If you think that this is what I want our relationship to be you are high.
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Dear Mom and Dad,
You 2 are my hero’s. I love you so much.
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Dear Verizon Employee Bitch,
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you.
You obviously do not have a clue. You must think that 1) I am the fucking ONE (which I am not) 2) that you are soooooooooooo fucking collections smart (which you arent) and 3) that I am not going to get over on your fucking stupid scripted ass.
I know all of the tricks. ALL OF THEM. I bet I get my way.
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Dear Collectors,
Watch when you call my phone and the VM is now for Alicia. Alicia = I will pay you when I have the money so stop motherfucking calling me 234645768654756098-=754 times a day.
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Dear Motivation and Will Power,
You need to get it together. You have come this far to not fuck it all up and gain some weight back. 15 pounds to go. THAT IS IT. Just handle biz and fucking own the final stretch.
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And for some eye candy… Julian McMahon …
Annnnnnnnnd … Salma Hayek
Your turn. Do it.
Tags: Friday Eye Candy, julian mcmahaon, salma hayek, YGWM
YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Nov 13, 2009 All Things Charli, DUH, Friday Eye Candy, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Random, Ranteriffic, Sex, The Tarably Wicked Show, This Thing Called Marriage., You've Got Wicked Mail
TGIMotherFuckingF.
Furthermore, let us get on with the Open Letter forum. This is not new information. Purge your week’s frustrations out here so that you can thoroughly enjoy your weekends. K? K.
Dear Toribear:
Here is your Eye Candy:
I love you.
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Dear Dumb Bitch,
Yeah. My shoes are so cute. I saw you staring at them today. No you cannot touch them. Also, the funny thing is, THEY ALL LOVE ME AND HATE YOU. K? K.
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Dear D.
I really really really really really really love you. Thank you for the 7 orgasms in a row last night. I REALLY needed that.
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Dear You,
I am over it. I don’t even want to see it anymore. I however DO still adore you. I just have no desire to hump your face off anymore.
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Dear Charli,
I don’t really know where you found my dong … but thank you for returning it unscathed. FYI that is NOT a toy meant for children or tweens or teenagers under the age of 18.
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Dear Stupid Ex,
How dare you make me feel guilty for paying a bill that you accrued while living in MY condo and then leaving me with when you abruptly decided to move out because you “couldnt handle it” anymore. Go snort some more drugs up your nose and go live in your dilusional life that you live in where we actually have the chance of ever getting back together.
Dont show up at my house with flowers thinking that you might have some edge on seeing/touching/smelling/tasting/penetrating my vagina because you lost that chance a hot motherfucking minute ago.
I would rather never fuck again than fuck your balding younger than me fat drug addicted ass. K? K.
I AM NOT THE ONE, Tarable.
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Dear Panty-Swinger,
Thank you for not being at work all week. Your face makes me want to throw up in my mouth, swallow it and then re-throw up again.
I hate you, Tarable.
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Dear Always Get Me Involved in Drama That I Don’t WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN,
Quit involving me. K? I AM NOT THE ONE.
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Dear Married Dudes that Remember Me From Back in the Day,
Quit telling me that I am the one that got away. Even more quit telling me that you always have been and always will be in love with me. I understand that my vagina is like a slot machine when hitting the jackpot but you need to stick with the hairy, fat, nagging, slot machine you motherfucking married.
I am tired of being the green grass on the other side, go mow your own motherfucking lawn you infidelious (yeah I made up my own word there) sons of bitches.
Love and Thank You, Lisa
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Dear Starbucks Appointment,
We know what you are thinking about while pushing one out tonight. Yes we have, yes we would and if you ask nicely … yes you can.
Love, Tarably Wicked
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Dear “Friends”,
You are insecure, nosy, jealous and downright selfish people. It would be nice if you took your gossipy, 2-faced selves and learned some facts about me before shoving yourselves up your own asses. The truth is, most of you know nothing about me or my situation and even if you did, none of you have the right to judge me. If you have questions, man up and ask. I love to hate you.
Anonymous
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Dear Vagina,
I am really sorry that you also were sentenced to 90 days in jail. I know that realistically, you are simply guilty by association. Please assist me in not attempting to escape prison in a big fat whorey way. I don’t care how much Tarable vagina tries to influence this escape route. IT IS NOT A GOOD DECISION.
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And now for some Eye Candy.
I am going to start making sure that I have a boy eye candy AND a girl eye candy too. 
You are welcome.
Terrance Howard
Rhianna
Do you talk to yourself?
If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?
Name one thing you never worry about running out of?
Tags: chris andersen, Friday Eye Candy, rhianna, terrance howard, YGWM
