Fly on the Wall
Jul 27, 2009 DUH, Family, I WIN!, Out of Wicked's Mouth, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables
I think people are funny. If I could get paid to watch people all day and write about them … good bad or indifferent … I totally would.
When I was little (read: last week and as often as possible but more often when I was little) I used to carry a notebook and I would try to guess what kind of lives they lived. I could have probably used them in my present creative writing excursions (yes I still write and yes I know you are all wondering wtf is up with Submissive Confessions and I will have more info soon I promise) if I still had the notebook… but as a kid, you never really think ahead to do things like that.
Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Anyway, my favorite place to guess the lives of the unwilling is at school. As many of you already know, I am not a fan of mixing my work or school life with my social life. It is a rare occasion to meet someone at work or school and bring them into my social circle or me into theirs. I look at the people that I see every single day and I really wonder what if anything is a farce about them. The cool thing about it is that you can really be whoever you want to be. IF you wanted to not allow people to know the real you.
I also enjoy large groups. If I could be invisible; completely chameleon into the concrete, brick or pretty wallpaper and just observe life moving and shaking all around me then that would be my super power.
A fly on the wall. A fly on your wall maybe!? Heh.
I would totally be a Peeping Tom. If you were fucking, I would be watching. Live porn is so much better than the newsfilter badly filmed amateur BS. (If you were 18 and older)
And then, I would leave you little tidbits of advice / thoughts about the performance I witnessed.
“Maybe, next time you might think about going down on her first. You are not new to your smaller than average penis size. Clitoral stimulation BEFORE you “enter” might actually land you a girlfriend long term.” Just Sayin- FOTW
Or
“He knew you were faking. Practice it more in the mirror.” Sincerely- FOTW
I think that my purpose in the world would be to not just drop anonymous FOTW notes in reference to sex, but in every day life as well. People do things when they think that no one is looking that they wouldn’t dare do in a group. People live like slobs, wearing the same underwear as the day before because they got super stoned and forgot to wash a load. For the last 3 fucking weeks. People pick their noses and eat the nasties. People dont wipe properly. (FRONT TO BACK!) People dont wash their hands. Like, ever.
It would also bust chimo pedophiles.
And junk punch rapists with my MIND.
Maybe, my super power would be the little reminder that everyone needed to bring them back to reality for a second.
“Wash your ass.” FOTW
“Yes, that smell is coming from YOU.” FOTW
“She is cheating on you. In the bed you share.” FOTW
“Did you really just eat that?” FOTW
“Knock it off. You know what I am talking about.” FOTW
“The po-po’s are on their way. Run mufucka RUN.” FOTW
“If you beat her ass one more time, I am pretty sure I am going to castrate you in your sleep.” FOTMFW.
Mmhm. Yes the hell I would. And I would love every motherfucking minute of it.
With that said, D has answered a question:
Me: “What is your favorite non sexual thing about me?”
D: “Nonsexual?! Does it HAVE to be?”
Me: “Yes!”
D: (Thinking. For. Ever.)
Me: “Really? Not one thing?”
D: (cracking up) “That you have an opinion.”
Me: “That is an understatement.”
D: “Maybe it is better said that we have intelligent conversation.”
Me: “So I am not a dumb bitch.”
D: “Pretty much.”
What would your super power be? What purpose would it serve to better the world?
What note would you leave someone if YOU could be a FOTW?
Tags: fly on the wall, marriage, nose picker, porn, purpose, super hero, world
