Welcome to my own special regular Friday blog where I open the ‘floor’ to give you all the opportunity to cuss out whomever royally pissed you off this week so that you can let it go and truly enjoy the weekend.

That is all we really want to do right?!

Dear POE,

I have been a part of many organizations. I get that with every big deal signed, there is a level of ass kissing metrics that have to go along with it. I really do get it. But I have never, ever had this level of juvenile hand holding in a group of adults. Ever.

What gets me is that your selling point in my interview was the fact (and I remember that it was repeated across the 3 people who separately interviewed me) this establishment prides itself on zero micromanagement. That, we are all adults and it is not a babysitting organization.

Tell me, what would you refer to this as then? Nannying? Adult Care?

I call it babysitting. Like with a motherfucking baby monitor by your ear so that you don’t miss a single motherfucking breath taken.

There are ways to go about what you are trying to do without handcuffing us all and making us feel like we are trapped in little boxes full of ticky tacky.

I am just saying.

Dear Gym Rat,

1) your Nike napsack on your back is not cute. It doesnt hold your water. Wanna know how I know? Because you kept “dropping it” on the floor so you could bend over and pick it up in front of the personal trainer that all of the ladies at the gym drool over every single day.

2) He is out of your league. Shit, he is out of my league.

3) if you aren’t going to work out, then leave. You doing circles around the cardio area made me nauseus and furthermore you were wasting paper towels too. You werent even using the cardio equipment that you wiped down. I am no tree hugger and even I know that is plain ignorant and wasteful.

4) You need to be working out because you are not cute. Neither is the way you switch your hip in front of the aforementioned PT. I am pretty sure I watched him throw up in his mouth the last time you shook your nasty booty in his face.

Bottom Line: Not cute. Not one iota. So knock it off before you catch me on an outwardly bitchy day and I tell you about yourself.

Dear Tarable,

I miss you.

Dear KittyFace,

I want them to come home too. Tripping me and breaking my neck isnt going to make them come home any fucking faster. GET OUT OF MY BUSINESS. BLAH.

Alllllllso as promised I am gonna in a nutshell call X’s out.

He ‘found’ $50 in his pocket. After further investigation, he did not actually find it in his pocket. He stole that shit from someone who it was given to as a graduation gift.

Right.

1) He did come clean about it.

2) He apologized to those who he affected by doing it.

3) Kanisha gave me the best idea for creative punishment ever: He will wear a sign that reads “I am a thief” one day when we have a bajillion errands to run. I may also make him write a couple of sentances to carry with so when people ask him questions, he will have something to answer with other than “I dont know”. We will see.

Kanisha rules. The end.

Lastly, before the Friday Eye Candy, I just want to say that I truly appreciate all of my friends. The ones who listen. The ones who let me cry. The ones who let me be a cunt when I need to be one. Especially the ones who respect me and understand me. I am finding thorns in my friend-bush and I am frustrated and confused as to how to help our friendship grow into pretty flowers.

I dont know. I just needed to put it out there in the universe. It helps me clearly figure out what I need to do.

And now. Friday’s Eye Candy is:

Paul Walker. His piercing blue eyes make my naughty bits tingle a lil’ bit. A lot bit actually. My favorite are pics when he has a bit of a scruffy face. Like this one:

Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Feel free to email OR comment me with Friday Eye Candy suggestions.

Now it is your turn. Its MAIL CALL BITCHES!

(Pee ESS: Happy 1 year anniversary Lilu and B!)