I Have 2 of These Already …
Mar 7, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Random
Wanna know reason #8 why I am awesome?
Because 1 day I am going to be nominated and chosen for an Academy Award. You don’t believe me?
Read and learn.
One of my books, probably SC is going to get recognized and made into a screenplay. Then it will go to an independent film festival. Critics will rave about it. Then it will be made into a Motion Picture. There will be controversy.
But, it will receive an Oscar Nod.
And then, I will get all dolled and D will get all G’d up from the feet up … we will walk the red carpet … Tarable and the kids will be in the audience with me …
… And the award for “Best Screenplay” goes to : WICKEDCOURTNI !!!!!!!!!!
I just made a believer out of you. In less than 100 words.
Anyway, I will get called up there and I will totally act surprised when really, I knew I was gonna beat out the “competition” in the first place.
See? Surprised.
Anyway. I would act all prepared on the outside but would be freaking the hell out on the inside. But I would have a speech prepared. Not the full 2 minutes, because I know I will stutter and pause and lose my place a couple of times … and God forbid *I* be the one to get the cut off music played when I am not finished speaking.
But I would have to thank people. Important people.
Like The Academy. (Because I heard, if you don’t thank them … you get black balled from EVER receiving a nod again or some shit.)
I would thank the years of sex, some breathtaking … some … well … fucking pathetic.
I would also thank Minka Kelly for playing the part of Julia. This role will define her career.
I would thank cocaine. Because, well … it is a hell of a drug. Or *was* anyway.
I would thank all of the prostitutes in the world because they were my muse … and who’s lifestyle I have a weird obsession about.
I would also thank my family … my D … all of the people who told me that the book was good even when it probably still needed work.
And then I would say something really profound and funny and start crying as if I won the Best Motion Picture award or something.
And I would be FB’ing from my iphone the entire 3 hours. Because I am THAT girl. 
Who would you thank in your acceptance speech?
Tags: acadamy awards, minka kelly, Submissive Confessions, the oscar's
Okay … Okay … You Got Me!
Feb 21, 2010 Family, Friendship, The Tarably Wicked Show, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
Many of you who read this probably already know that Friday night was a planned surprise party to congratulate me on my recent accomplishment.
Having my book picked up by a publishing company (as I have said before and will say eleventy million times more I am sure) is hands down the biggest success of my life professionally. To date anyway.
If you were not privy to the information made public to everyone BUT me … and when I say everyone … I mean everrrrrrrryone. (You know who you are.) Tarable and Mrs. Good planned a surprise shindig. These beezos kept it from me for 2 whole weeks. D kept it from me for 2 whole weeks. Work people kept it from me for 2 whole weeks. And Tarable and I work together. I cannot even imagine keeping a 2 week secret from her.
They pulled it the fuck off. I officially give her the gangsterist best friend award and Mrs. Good the awesomeist best friend award.
So anyway, I got got. When I walked into the door, I was literally confused as to what was going on. Once I realized, I retracted back to my porch, door closed. WTF!
I got GOT!?!?!?! Me!? Really?! People don’t get me! I am always in the know, dammit! (i.e. the shit that is going through my head on my porch the 15 seconds prior to cussing Tarable out for being the co-contributor in my getting got in the first place.)
So I went back inside. And I was surrounded by about 20 people who I love and who love me back. My mom and dad came. My father in law … my boss and his awesome wife … who I consider to be great friends of mine. I knew that I was supported, but to walk into that amount of love was both overwhelming and fucking flat out amazing.
Amazing. No one has ever done anything like that for me before. I was, still am and will always be deeply touched.
The best part was that even though for many it was the first time each had met one another, they all laughed and dance and acted a fool as if they were all long lost friends. That made me feel really really great.
I am still in disbelief that I got GOT! 
Damn you sneaky bitches! This means war!
I joke. What I really mean is … Thank you all for being such amazing and supportive friends. I love you all more than you know.
And … it means WAR!!!!!!! *grin*
Would you rather catch your parents having sex or have your parents catch you having sex?
Would you rather date a “Mr. Fix-It” or a “Fantastic Cook.”?
Tags: Submissive Confessions, surprise party, war, would you rather
TMIThursday: Daaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaad!
Feb 17, 2010 Family, TMI Thursday's
Welcome to TMIThursday! Give it up to Lilu for making all of the throwing up in our mouths on a weekly basis possible. DO IT.
So I am tired and I forgot to ask someone to guest post for this week. (read: please email your guest TMIT posts with pics if you are picky to wickedcourtni@gmail.com) So this is going to be short and disturbing.
(For me anyway.)
Anyway … if you are under a rock or new to my life … you may not know that my book was just picked up by a publishing company a week or so ago. I am pretty sure I am fucking ecstatic about it. I may or may not do a dance by myself when I think about it.
It may or may not be the best God Damned thing that has happened in my life … as far as professional accomplishments go.
So my mom is on my FB. My parents are the raddest, most open minded hippie parents a girl could ask for. When she read the post about it (yeah I know I am a horrible daughter for not calling them to tell them.) she freaked out and told my dad and whomever else she came across I am sure. …
…. and she calls me ….
Mom: “Tell me about this publishing deal!”
Me: *insert Charlie Brown teacher voice of me telling her*
Dad: “Well you know I am going to have to read it, right?”
Mom: *giggling*
Me: “Errr…”
Dad: “You are my daughter! I have to read it! You are a published author!”
Mom: *dying laughing*
Me: “Dad.”
Dad: “I will read it at work tomorrow!’
Me: “I really don’t think that is a good idea.”
Dad: “What is the worst that could happen? I get a woody and am unable to get up from my desk!?”
Me: “DAD!!!!!!!!”
Mom: *snort*
Dad: “I am reading your work. Period.”
Me: “Gah. Finnnnnnneeeeeeeee. I just do not need to hear about your wood.”
Dad: “Well if you don’t hear about it … how will you know what I thought?”
Me: “What do you judge a book by your boner?! FUCKIDONTWANTTOTALKABOUTTHIS!”
Dad: “Maybe I do.”
Me: “Then I dont care what you think. Keep it to yourself.”
Fast forward to me telling D of the mortification involving my dad’s wood…
D: *lauging* “Well you do know that there was wood involved in creating you.”
Me: “FUCKING SERIOUSLY?!?!?!”
D: *laughing harder* “I am just saying.”
Me: *covering my ears* “LALALALALALALALALALALA”
The end. I am officially damaged.
Would you rather forget who you were or who everyone else was?
Would you rather kiss a jellyfish or step on a crab?
Honest Tuesday’s: I Never Keep My Resolutions
Jan 5, 2010 Current Events, Family, Honest Tuesday's, I WIN!, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Wicked Wisdoms, pillow talk
Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can be honest with me about all of the shit you cannot be honest with everyone else!
I was thinking about making a bunch of resolutions like I do every year, but then I realized that I am horrible at keeping mine.
For example:
1999: I am finally going to divorce my loser (first) husband. <-- This didn't happen until *almost* 2001. We were married 3 and 1/2 years but maybe spent 5 months total together.
2001: Lose 30 pounds. <-- I gained 15.
1997: Graduate with a 3.0 GPA. <-- pssh.
2004: Finish my degree in Interior Design. <-- I didn't finish a quarter of Interior Design.
2006: Save $50 a paycheck. <-- Um. No. Living paycheck to paycheck is not something that supports this resolution. Also, I like spending money.
2007: Quit cursing. <-- HA HA HA! That lasted about ... 6 minutes.
2003: Lose 22 pounds to be eligible to join the Coast Guard. <-- I couldn't get a waiver on 5 pounds so I said fuck it. I also really liked my piercings.
2008: Go to the gym every day after work. <-- this lasted about 2 months before my excuses as to why I couldn't go took over.
2009: Publish Submissive Confessions. <-- oh WAIT! I totally did this! Yaayyyyyyyyyyyyy! Go ME!
As you can see, I suck at stick-to-it-iveness. Us Geminis are quite horrible at being all interested in shit for too long ... and shit. We tend to get all stoked about doing something and then are all like ... meh that was soooo 5 minutes ago ... or "what idea? I forgot."
Not this year. I am daring to be different. I am going to keep my resolutions this year. All NONE of them. HA!
I joke.
This year I am going to make a resolution to keep my resolutions. In doing so, I am going to accomplish the following:
1) Make Presidents Club. Oh yeah.
2) Re-learn the flute.
3) Begin the 2nd installment of Submissive Confessions.
4) Reach my goal weight of 155
5) Curse less.
I think I will set myself check ins every 3 months or so. Feel free to check back on yours if you so wish to.
Happy New Year! What were your New Year’s Resolutions?
Tags: divorce, gemini, new years resolutions, Submissive Confessions
Dagnabit.
Aug 22, 2009 Friendship, Ranteriffic, Relationships, The Tarably Wicked Show
Happy Saturday!
I am just taking a moment after a knock-down-drag-out fight with my husbands accumulated nonsense on his side of the bedroom to purge some shat. Nothin’ major… it’s just when people are fucking both awesome and asshole at the same time (not the same people) it is like thunder rumbling.
Last night was our weekly Friday Night Girls Night. It is growing to be the thing that I look forward to all week long. At first it was a me, Charli and Tarable exclusive thing but has evolved into a bunch of really awesome ladies and a HenrySan who finds pleasure in feeding us pineapple/vodka shots all night. (Dagnabit! Henry!)
What I love is that I have something POSITIVE to look forward to. We don’t spend a lot of money to host it. We pick a new, healthy recipe and everyone brings a little bit with them to put up to make enough. I also love that Charli is so comfortable there. She has a wonderful time with the ladies, and that gives D and Xavier a much needed guys break.
What is going to be awesome about it in the future is when we organize games and other fun stuff to do. I want to do pedis and trivia and something holiday themed. I wanna be an old bitty with my girls every Friday … old as hell … gossiping my ass off. Yeah, I said it. A bitch loves to gossip.
Anyway… last night’s get together was an interesting one. Apparently Tarable thought it would be appropriate to go behind my back and have all these lovelies organize a surprise for me. PS I am not a fan of surprises. Tara made me the cutest card, which they all signed BEHIND MY BACK and gave me some of the most beautiful flowers. Evah.
It was a celebratory FNGN. A “We are so proud of you” party. It was so awesome that my ladies thought to congratulate me on my book publishing. On the fact that I really have started making my own dream come true. That kind of support is priceless. Those kinds of friendships are irreplaceable.
With that, I say “Thanks ladies! I love you!”
This last piece of business is a necessary evil. If you know… then you know. If you are completely lost, then it is good that you are.
I am not surprised anymore that you didn’t respond. I am even less surprised at your fake fucking canned commentary. Thank Goddess that I know now and not later after investing in “YOUR” dream that really… you are the most manipulative person I have ever met.
What sucks the most is who have followed you. Because if I haven’t already lost them … I can see the line in the sand being drawn slowly, and they are going to pick sides. I wouldn’t ever be the one to draw it but I will be the one to dig my feet deep into the side that I believe in. If it has to be that way, then so be it. When they come to see your true colors… I will be standing there waiting to tell them “I told you so!” first before hugging them.
That is how I motherfucking roll.
You are fucking with the wrong group of bitches. Believe that. When you can man up and hit reply or “call back” and hash shit out with me like I attempted to do with you, I will be here to reciprocate. Until then, good riddance. I am not interested in canned, templated or fake-as-hell commentary any longer. Be real for once. You would be surprised at the response you get from others.
Fin.
Tags: flowers, friday night, girls night, manipulation, stupid, Submissive Confessions
Rant-omly Scheduled Programming, Etc.
Aug 11, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Fitness Forward, Friendship, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Ranteriffic, Wicked Wisdoms, Yum... or Lack There Of.
My friend/co-worker received her copy of my book today. It is the first bound version of Submissive Confessions that I have laid my hands on. No more of the copy paper print inside of a notebook versions.
I have a bound book. BOUND. On real paper. I smelled my OWN book’s newbooksmell. I touched the cover of the book that *I* wrote from my own (sick and twisted and oversexed) thoughts. My book. MINE.
So many people are asking me what it is that I would do with myself if the book took off and I became this Danielle Steele famous author. My answer? I am trying not to think about that too much. I am happy to wake up, click on my revenue report and see that I sold just ONE more book. If that leads to 1 MILLION books…
… well, I might pee my pants with excitement.
Things like that don’t just ‘happen’ for me. I want to say that it was either JP or FB (if you dont read them, you really should because their blogs rock my vaginasocks off) that said recently that when good things happen, it is because we motherfucking work our asses off to make them work. I can say that I wish that I had shit handed to me on a silver platter all I want, but realistically… I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I would make some minor changes. I guess that is one of the learning hurdles that comes with doing it yourself. Nothing that makes it a horrible purchase or anything, but stuff that *I* notice.
In other, more interesting (read: make me mad as fuck) news: My old landlord totally came to my job and served me papers for small claims court. The charges? $1400 in damages after we vacated.
Translation: Motherfucker is butthurt that I moved out 1July, cleaned the fuck out of the apartment, and didnt leave his ass a rent check. Why didn’t I leave him a rent check? Because I originally offered to give him 20 days to be out on July 5th … pay the 5 days … and all would be gravy train. He retorted with some bullshit about if ‘I was 5 days sooner I would be good to go with this but you owe July in 2 places now bullshit’.
My reply? “Okay.” /sarcastic tone.
Since the reason for taking me to small claims court is “damage” he cannot go backward and say it was due to unpaid rent. Period. Show me $1400 in damages in an apartment that 1) needed new carpet when I moved in 2) is an old, ghetto, run down piece of shit residence in the first place. G’head.
Landlord, you can motherfucking suck it. Don’t be mad because you tried to gangster me into another months rent because you ALREADY HAD ANOTHER APARTMENT on the market in the SAME building and KNEW you couldn’t rent it. Don’t be mad because you tried to prove that my *Nword* (IN YOUR WORDS) husband was a crack dealer and couldn’t. Don’t be mad because your wife is a nasty, nagging, bitchy beeyotch and you haven’t gotten laid in years.
Dont be mad. It aint my fault.
So we will see what happens.
Speaking of butthurt, there is this dumb bitch at my job who is so beyond insecure that it is comical. She is one of those people who will compliment you SPECIFICALLY so that you feel obligated to compliment them back.
Pretty sure I dont ever feel obligated to do a motherfucking thing I dont wanna.
So when a bitch says “Hey Skinny Minny” every single time she sees me … and after the 58th time of 1) not acknowledging her 100+pound,lessthan900calorieaday,borderlineanorexicweightloss and 2) I start ignoring her as if I haven’t worked with her in some facet for 5 years … it is a wonder why she would be.
Yeah, I know I could have been like “Hey. Could you stop maybe fishing for compliments? I dont need to be reminded of my weight. Be it loss or gain, your intent behind the comment is purely selfish and I am over it”
But I chose the cuntier road. The road less … ADULT if you will.
Whatever. Back to my story. So the broad is so insecure that she simply has to have all attention on her. Her weight. Her wedding. Her Her Her. I dont feed into. I have no problem being in the same space as you and completely ignore the fact that your ass is drilling holes into my neck. I also have no problem talking to everyone BUT you. I am just saying. You may think that the world owes you some explanation… or some validation… or even some recognition… but I dont. I wont. I refuse.
Especially when you have completely dropped friends who you spent a great deal of time with when you were fat. How is it that your friend is no longer your friend simply because she hasnt lost as much weight as you.
How shallow. I think that you are a horrible horrible person. HORRIBLE. I wouldnt want to go to your stupid wedding with your stupid fakeness if I was paid to go like ONE MILLION DOLLARS. And I am poor. So. That would take a lot to not go.
Bottom line: You are the definition of Human Being FAIL. One day, outside of work where I am allowed to say what I want and not get fired, I am going to tell you about yourself. Right now though, I really need my job. So I ignore.
So, I am on month 2.5 of my journey to losing another 25 pounds and living a healthier lifestyle and having a better relationship with food. I have slipped, binged (i.e. I just ate 2 frosted strawberry poptarts om nom nom) but over-all I am 85% successfully following this the way that I should. Why only 85%? Because I enjoy wine. I have a bite or 4 of mashed potatoes every now and again. I <3 the occasional Dick's or even crapdonalds cheeseburger.
Anyway, I have been introduced to Spaghetti Squash. You cook it per the directions, and you serve it like spaghetti noodles. There really is not a flavor to it, so whatever you serve with it, be it meat sauce, alfredo… the texture is a bit veggie like, but it is so complimentary and similar to spaghetti noodles… that I can live with with that change.
(I havent tried this but) Apparently you can also slice it and use it similar to lasagna noodles with the same result.
If you are a pasta freak like me, I suggest trying it. It is honestly really really good.
Also, I found some “SB” approved cookie recipes. I haven’t tried them yet, but I plan to so we can bring them along with us camping.
Lastly, I would like to rant about this little thing I like to call “Dating Games”.
The above image … in a picture … is what I think of them. I have said before that I love love and alllllllllll that goes in with it. But, I take it back. I do not love. I [X] DISLIKE dating games.
I dislike them like I dislike:
Wearing pants.
My job.
My nosy co-worker
Mayonnaise
I am surrounded by these games. S U R R O U N D E D . The waiting for the text message. “Does she want to hang out with me” Did I say the wrong thing? Am I being too needy. Is he seeing other people?
Blah. Just say what you need to say already.
I am so fucking over headgameiwannakeepyouatarmslengthiwanttofuckbutdontfuckanyoneelse bullshit.
The end.
Anyway, rant if you wish. You know the floor is open.
Uhhh… what is the one food you would make have no dietary side affects and you could eat an unlimited amount without ever getting sick by doing so?
How are you doing with your own strides toward healthier living? (if you are participating)
Oh, and best, most trainwreck thing I have seen all day: http://whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com/ <– just browse these lovely pics.
Tags: camping, dating, food, lulu.com, published, south beach diet, spaghetti squash, Submissive Confessions, weight loss, work drama
Shout … Shout … Let it All Out
Aug 3, 2009 All Things Charli, Family, Fitness Forward, Friendship, Parenting, Random, Sex, Suck It!, The Tarably Wicked Show, Wicked Wisdoms
I should probably be working. But I would rather do the following: 1) publish my book 2) keep checking to see if anyone bought it 3) re-edit it 50 bajillion times.
Speaking of: Have you become a FAN on the official SC fan page yet?
<-------- There is a pretty button over here that you can go and purchase a copy. You can get it in paperback OR an online version. (keep scrolling ... a little bit more ... keep scrolling ... THERE IT IS!) *grin*
Just saying.
I don’t really know what lit the spark under my ass yesterday. I am lying actually. I totally know. I have been afraid of publishing my work. You all have read it, and (apparently from the threatening … kidding but not really … emails) love it so much… that I am afraid that you will hate the ending. And the changes. That, you will buy it, read it, and then ask yourself what in the fuck you were thinking wasting money on it.
Shut up.
This last weekend was an eerie one. Losing a friend is a hollow feeling. At least, when that friend is someone that, take away the circumstance of them passing… you wouldn’t have ever lost them. They would have remained a constant. Him passing has taught me 2 lessons: 1) Value the truest friendships. Hold them as close as possible. Tell them you love them and 2) Get rid of the ones that bring you down. And I plan to. I don’t even have to create an explanation. You should already know why I silently told you to go fuck yourself. If you don’t … well I am truly sorry that you are that dumb. Especially considering the fact that you were my friend. I haven’t ever pretended with any of you.
The passing of Scuba not only made me think about cherishing my relationships, but also that I am wasting precious time. I don’t want to only be remembered because I passed; my work to be published and honored simply because I am gone. It is silly to be afraid. So I think I am gonna stop doing that.
I am also going to write my will and testament. Is it weird that I have a playlist that I want played at my memorial? Cause I totally do. Not only that but I kinda want to put Tarable in charge of what pictures to use. I would be hot-A-bout-it if I was looking down and there was a nasty pic of me. Who wants to be remembered like that?!
Seriously, shut up. The last impression is JUST as important as the first.
Anyway, what do you think of the new blog-digs? Jamie @ Fast Times hooked me up. Thanks for being so damned patient with my picky-ness. I am in major heart with it. Sooo you rule.
In other news, I have a friend who is falling in love. She and I sat (well I started and she followed suit at my right-ness) and listed off all of the reasons why it is so. I love love so much. She deserves it. To fall in love. To embrace the idea of something that she has probably dreamed about as a little girl. She deserves to be looked at as if she were the only person in a crowded room.
I am 95% sure that she has found that.
One of my favoritest things in the history of my favorite things is to watch love unfold. It leaves me warm on the inside. Like the tingly feeling when you take a shot of Saki (I found this feeling out this weekend… sheesh). She knows that, even though I give her shit daily, that I am elated to be in the presence of 2 people naturally allowing the vulnerability of feelings take over.
It is truly beautiful.
Alright, enough of the sappy shit. I gotta go do mommy stuff (read: beat Charli sensless in order to teach her that it is NOT okay to pull every god forsaken thing from every drawer, basket, toy box and throw it on the floor in her room.) as well as clean up my messy area. And fold freaking laundry.
Laundry, I say SUCCHILA! (translation: SUCK IT!)
Morbid I know, but what song would you like for people to remember you by?
Anything or anyone that you would like to tell “Succhila!” to?!
PEE ESS: For you South Beachers or whatever it is that you are doing…. I had SPAGHETTI tonight. Not with noodles. Nope. I steamed broccoli and ate the spaghetti sauce over the top of the broccoli. What Cass?? You don’t like broccoli? That’s okay too! Any zucchini or asparagus or even carrots would work JUST fine.
Tags: laundry, lulu.com, south beach diet, spaghetti, Submissive Confessions, will and testament
2 Achievements & 2 Aspirations
Dec 30, 2008 Current Events, Family, Friendship, Random, Thoughts and Perceptions
It is N.Y.E. 2008.
The last day of the year. I don’t care who you are, if you have big plans or if you are one of the million and a half people who stay home and watch the ball drop in Times Square…N.Y.E. has a buzz about it.
I fucking LOVE that buzz.
I try to do something kick ass every year. Do you ever notice when you try to make something amazing… you are let down? Yeah. Boo on that. This year we will party at home with some ‘cooler than polar bear’s toenails’ friends, eat good food and drink good drink.
Tiara’s: Check
Funny Top Hat for D: Chiggity Check
NoiseMakers and Glow Sticks? Check to the 3rd pizower.
The corny stuff like the above listed items make me happy. I love decorations and themes. I like to go all out for events. So the once small event at my house has a little ‘oooomph’ behind it. It is how I tumble.
I think it is gonna get motherfucking wild.
I am sure there will be pictures.
Anyway… on to the bizness.
Today is about achievements for 2008 and aspirations for 2009. I have 2 of each. Feel free to list more if you got ‘em. I welcome you taking today to blow a little smoke up your asses.
2 Achievements:
2: Going back to school… and finishing my first quarter with a 4.0
1: FINALLY DECIDING ON AN ENDING FOR SC! And… writing it out! That is a big deal for me. H U G E. I struggled for months trying to end it the perfect way. One day, I sat down and just wrote. I guess I should have just done that in the first place.
2 Aspirations:
2: To finish my CDP certification on schedule a year from now… with no less than a 3.8 GPA, and to get accepted in to the Social Work graduate program at UW.
1: To self-publish and sell 500 copies of my book so that I am able to have enough money to invest in an Amazon.com presskit and hopefully get recognized by a publishing company to pick up my book.
If I don’t get a chance to say it beforehand… Happy New Year!
Be safe. Dont Drink and Drive. Wear condoms.
And whatever you do… Do NOT use cheesy pick up lines to get laid.
Are you a big to-doer or a stay at hom-er for NYE?
What are your 2 Achievements and 2 Aspirations?
Have you checked out the new look of the homepage? If you haven’t, you should click here to check it out. Q did a kick ass job so far. I am a proud mama. Support her, dammit!
‘Til next year….
Tags: 2008, 2009, achievement, aspiration, book, celebrate, new years eve, nye, party, pqnation, publish, Submissive Confessions
Breaking Wicked News!
Nov 12, 2008 Random, Thoughts and Perceptions
I AM OFFICIALLY ON THE PATH TO PH-MOTHERFUCKING-BALANCEDNESS!
Yeah shit talkers. Now what are you gonna write blogs and blog comments about now? LMFAO.
Also, if you are a follower of Submissive Confessions, you need to read the following PSA(s):
I am not posting another blog on Myspace. Ever. So going forward, they will be posted here. However, (and this is the important piece. Wake up!) I am not posting until I recieve confirmation that I am fully copyrighted. (which I am in the process of doing right now.)
So.FAQ’s if you will.
No, it isnt going to be months before I post again. We are looking at the latest Monday to be able to read the next chapter.
The projected availability date for purchase is the 8th of December. Truthfully, I would like to do it earlier to give anyone and everyone the opportunity to purchase my book as gifts for family and friends for Christmas! Heh.
And, just to be clear, I am not posting the ending of this story online. You will have to purchase it to read it.
Lastly, A Letter.
Dear Catering Companies,
Not everyone likes mayonaisse on their sandwiches. I personally do not enjoy a mouthful of the nasty white substance that squirted from a breadpour in my provided BLT from my meeting today.
I thank whomever is responsible for paying for this lunch, and I appreciate the effort and thought put into having the limitless sandwich selection for the vegetarians, vegans, health concious groups in our office. Greatly appreciate it. But, have you ever heard of a motherfucking mayo packet? Is it fathomable to you idiots that even those who enjoy the aforementioned mayo squirt to the back of the throat might appreciate the control of how much mayo they get to spread on the bread??? Or even that possibly, mayo makes even the sourest of sourdough soggy after marinating in the packaging for over 5 hours???
My mayo logged bread and tomato do not thank you for this oversight. Neither does the snickerdoodle, apples and bagle w/creamcheese that I vomited up after realizing the amount of mayo I had in-fucking-gested unknowingly and unwillingly.
Fuck off, Mayo Nazis.
Wicked Fuckin’ Game
Feel free to contribute your own letters, and FAQ’s about SC
Tags: christmas present, free, gift, mayo, sandwich etiquette, Submissive Confessions, vagina
myspace and blogs suck.
Nov 7, 2008 Random
i hate raspberry filled powdered doughnuts. a lot. but i love powdered doughnuts. every time i try to eat around the nasty fucking raspberry filling i always fucking get a bite of it and wanna vomit.
it ruins it for my powdered doughnut eating experience.
i gave a guy a ride to the transit center after school the other night. he was young, and kinda thuggish. he asked me out of nowhere if i was passing by the transit center, and i almost lied. but, even though my inner paranoia was telling me he was gonna rob me, i let him roll.
surprise surprise. he didnt jack me. looks can be deceiving in a bad way too.
i fucking finished my book. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. if everything goes right, it will be ready for purchase before xmas. heh. yes yes ya’ll. dont know what to get your gramma for christmas? Submissive Confessions. You need to give your pastor something out of the kindness of your heart? Submissive Confessions.
I will sign the first 1000 copies sold.
this just in: Chrissa has banned the word ghetto.
also, i havent read a good blog (other than the fucking oscar winning comedy from yesterday) on this page in weeks. thank fucking obama (heh) for eve-101 & the nation. wicked kissed pecosa over there while a certain redhead watched pjammy eat cereal all the live long day. if you know of a myspace blog or any other cool fucking blog that i am missing that you can actually read that is not political, ’cause’ vomiting, asking for some fucking money, or drama… link me.
bowchicka.
i am in a mood. i have been for weeks and it has inspired me, made me a cunt, scored me a’s on my papers, and made me forget that the world does not revolve around me. i am meanly sarcastic, cry at the drop of the hat, horny, brain-fried, and half empty from my toes to my crotch hole. i need a joy fill up or my next trip is going to be to pessamistic town. im gonna change my name to paula. i like being cuntified to an extent. right now, it is taking over my _____.
anyway.
also, follow the awesome path to the water of love. it will bring you more joy than you will ever know. trust me.
lastly, i love you guys. all of ya. well, i cant lie… except for you.
the end.
peeeeee esssssssss motherfuckin tommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sucks.
Tags: blogs, inspired, moody, myspace, obama, politics, Submissive Confessions
