Stage 5 *cough*male*cough* Clingers.
Jun 8, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, DUH, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Relationships, Sex, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Sup?! *Head Nod*
I am tired and have finals all week so this will be as quick as a boy virgin potentially putting his peeter in Nadia’s vagina.
Speaking of vagina, I was thinking about something recently: BoyStalkers.
I know a girl who’s vajay is like the magical land of Oz. When she O-faces, it is like glitter and diamonds shoot out in a really pretty manor. Her vagina sings the music that you hear at the end of every overly dramatic movie upon the thought of penile penetration. Every time she meets a guy, lays out the terms (idontwannadateyou,dontblowupmyphonepleasenthanx, justcomeoveranddomewhenicall), and then gives up the butt. casually… they become pussyzombies.
*I* have experienced this specific vagina. It is an amazing vagina… don’t get me wrong. But it is not stalker vajay. I haven’t experienced a crotch that great in the history of vagina’s.
What is it with men? They act all aloof about females, like they could take it or leave it. Yet, when a girl so much as switches roles and doesn’t portray this clingy, needy co-dependant person… the men are the ones who act like bitches.
“Why aren’t you calling me back?!”
“When can we hang outandmore!?”
“I looooooooooooooooove you.”
“I have a haiku I wrote in your honor.”
“I want to spoon”
“When can I see you again?”
“Can we cuddle?”
“Can we spend every single fucking waking moment staring into each other’s eyes?”
Really!?
What the crap is my friend supposed to do in this situation??? She wants a booty call. One that is no bullshit, call him and he comes over … shuts the hell up … fucks her until she is blue in the face … and then leave unless she privelages him to sleep over and have morning sex. Is this too much to ask in a bachelor?
She is not a pussy-game-player. She doesn’t act like there is anything more than what you see in front of your face…. and every single time she hooks up with a guy…. he wigs the hell out.
Almost every single one of these guys have made the statement in one way or another: “I hate dealing with clingy broads.”
Really? Do you? Is it because you would rather own the static cling in a relationship? I do not understand how she does it. And I am not even close to being jealous either. Fuck all of that.
Reason #634634263789854693992 why I love that I am happy as a clam married: No stage 5 clingers. <— I would shank a fool if I had to deal with this crap.
Have you ever had a stage 5 clinger mayday situation?
Words of advice for my friend?
What is the worst excuse you have ever been given/had to give a clingy person in order to leave you the hell alone?
Tags: casual sex, dating, friend, single, stalker
