TMIThursday: D’s in Love with a Stripper?
May 27, 2009 Masturbate-able, Sex, TMI Thursday's, This Thing Called Marriage.
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
For our honeymoon, D and I traveled to a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in Victoria, B.C. for a long weekend. We didn’t really have a ton of money, but we were able to dine out and have an amazing steak dinner, find some good ‘Jane’, and some even better sex in our Romeo and Juliet suite.
The second night we were there, we decided to check out this strip club that came highly recommended we passed by in a drunken stooper the night before. So we got all pretteh-fied and pre-funked in the room, and headed out to watch some titties.
We had no idea what we were in store for.
Once we arrived, we I find a nook/booth in the back of the club and we get cozy. Little did I know that D mentioned to the bouncer that we were on our honeymoon (dick) and that we he would love a front row seat when available. Imagine my surprise when the DJ congratulated us on our nuptuals and laced us with the best VIP seats in the house. Oh and dinner was on them too. Gee thanks.
I was apprehensive. I wanted to stay in my safe place in the back corner of the club. But I was a good sport and moved to the front. We watched several choreagraphed shows which were all really good. They were more performances than your traditional skank kabob on stage. The last dancer of the night was this beautiful exotic woman. She had long brown hair and greenish eyes. She came out to “Foxy Lady” and started her routine. D had a boner as soon as she dropped her caramel brown ass like it was hawt in front of our faces.
He grabbed out an American $5 (back when US currency was actually worth a shit in Canada) and attempted to give it to her. She smiled, took it, and shoved it down my shirt, proceeding to take it from me with her teeth. As annoyed as D was pretended to be, he kept feeding her money. Each time, she would take it from him, and give it to me, only to take it with various parts of her body.
The last time she took his money, she leaned in to whisper something to him. D looked at me, looked back at her, shrugged his shoulders and said “Go ahead.” So she put the money where she put it at, and reached down for my hands. I looked at D to try and figure out 1) what she asked 2) what she could “go ahead” and do 3) why he was taking my shoes off of me and 4) why I was being pulled on stage.
Yes. She was pulling me on stage. ON STAGE.
This strip club was packed to the maximum capacity.
There I was, vehemently shaking my head no… insisting that it was really okay… that I did NOT need to get on stage. Frantically, I looked back at D to get some sort of support from my new husband.
Ask me what he was doing. G’head.
He was chanting with all of the other boners in the club. “GET ON STAGE! GET ON STAGE! GET ON STAGE!” and “SHOWER! SHOWER! SHOWER!”
The next thing I knew, I was almost fully naked in this shower on stage. I couldn’t hear the music, or myself think because the pervs in the place were roaring louder than anything I had ever heard in my life. This broad was doing things to me that (at the time) I had never really done before, giving these fools an unforgettable show. I don’t remember if I had the opportunity to cum or not, if I sucked my stomach in or not… and I sure as hell don’t remember giving her or anyone permission to take my clothes off in front of everyone.
But the aftermath of the impromptu girl-on-girl action was worth every second. D was treated like a king, getting all kinds of love for having such a kick ass wife. He definitely got an ego stroke that night… and he still brags about it to this day.
Tags: honeymoon, newlywed, shower, stripper, TMI Thursday, victoria
Wicked Masturbatables
Oct 17, 2008 Random, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions
I always get asked the following questions: (no bullshit… people ask me weekly.)
“Do you masturbate every day?”
“How many times a day?”
“What, pray tell, do you masturbate to?”
I think it is funny that people are curious about my masturbation habits. I mean, I know that I am an extremely open person sexually… but I just find it a little bit comical that my self-pleasure has sent wicked wonderings across the country.
So, I am answering these questions for all the world to see. 
1: “Do you masturbate every day?” Yes.
2: “How many times a day?” I masturbate at least once at work and once in the shower to wind down at the end of the day. I have been known to push out a self-inflicted “o” face in the car before… I cannot disclose if it involved another party or not.
3: “What, pray tell, do you masturbate to?”
I shall now disclose the top things that I flick my bean to.
girl on girl porn
while my husbands cock is in my hand
while my husband knocks one out of the ballpark
gangbang porn
thinking about me and specific women engaging in full on lesbianisms.
creating a shower scene in my mind (while in the shower)
and… the thing i masturbate the most to… (drumroll please) hahaah
Myself in the mirror. Yep. I get all pretty, and spread out in front of the mirror. I absolutely get off on watching myself cum.
Does anyone ever candidly ask you about your masturbation regularity? Do you answer?
If you never answered before… today is a new day. I pass these uncomfortable, yet arousing questions on to you.
I am interested to know:
“Do you masturbate every day?”
“How many times a day?”
“What, pray tell, do you masturbate to?”
You Go.
Tags: girl on girl, masturbation, o face, orgasm, porn, shower
