Living Wicked

Honest Tuesday’s: I am a Softie.

Dec 15, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, DUH, Family, Honest Tuesday's, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Parenting, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms

Hello and welcome to Honest Tuesdays!

It has been brought to my attention (by me) that I have become soft in my old age.

I know. Shocking, isn’t it?

Remember how yesterday we talked about decisions? Well I had made a decision originally to deny Xavier of any and all things Christmas. No tree. Not a single decoration in my house. I hoped that Charli wouldnt know the difference … but I was totally wrong because this 2 year old is all about some Christmas and presents and Santa. As much as it hurt to the core to be the bad guy, I have reluctantly stuck to my guns, leaving me in a place where I am questioning my decision.

Am I being a bad mommy?!
Is he gonna hate me forever?!
Is this even going to get the point across?!
Am I the Grinch?! Officially?

I don’t want to be The Grinch! I love the holiday season. The lights, the feeling of giving love to another person. … all of it.

Not only that but I have had input from peanut galleries all across the world. One who’s opinion I value more than she knows.

Over a great deal of alcohol, she reminded me about what all of this was really about. Love. Sharing with the people who we love the most … tokens of our affection over the holidays. Yes, I will admit that she told me about myself. I had to pull myself out of my own stubbornness to see it, but she was right.

So…. this weekend, we are gonna get a tree. And we are gonna decorate it. Just the 3 of us. And, I am gonna put some presents under there. It wont be this big ordeal like it always has been, but we will keep the Christmas Eve pajama tradition … and … Xavier will have a couple of things from me under the tree this year.

Because this season is about love. And, as mad as I am at him … I love him more than I think he realizes.

As easy is it for me to say “fuggetabout” it about the holidays, I am doing my kids a disservice for being that way. I am not that mom. And, let’s face it. I am being fucking pouty and bitter and selfish and I need to knock it the fuck off.

So there. I was honest. 100%. Now it is your turn. What have you been less than honest about lately?

Also, do you have any Christmas traditions with your families?

Tags: christmas, christmas tree, honest tuesday, Parenting, presents, santa

My Sugar-Plums, or Theirs?

Dec 15, 2008 Parenting, Thoughts and Perceptions

Today, as I was buying pretty lingerie for the first time in 7 years I realized that Christmas is like a week and a half away. Yikes. I haven’t purchased a single present.

I will get back to the lingerie comment in a sec. I promise. Gawd.

Anyway.

We have been decorating and talking endlessly about Christmas… what to get the kids… budgeting… blah.

This year, X brought me his letter to Santa. He prided himself on the fact that he didn’t ask for too much this year. When we looked at the list, there were no toys! No freaking toys! What 8 year old leaves toys off of his Christmas list?!?

I am bent over this. B.E.N.T.

D finally got it out of me why I was so stressed out about his gifts. He asked for clothes and shoes. Nothing else! I want to see him open Leggos and G.I Joes, God damnit!The sappy mommy in me is crying out for her baby boy to stay a baby! But he is growing. So fast. Too fast. Too fast for me anyway.

Charli is an easy buy this year. She has discovered the love of all things crayola. So she will get an easel and an aquadoodle. And some blocks. Maybe a collector Barbie. Done. Soon though, she will have her own personalized letter to Santa, filled with all of her sugar plum wishes.

Of course I will pick out a couple of cute outfits for them and such, but really… I can go and buy them an outfit every payday if I wanted to. Those presents are fillers. The ones that count are the big gifts. The ones that make their eyes sparkle and do backflips around the living room.

Barbie’s DreamHouse and Easy Bake Oven’s.
Power Wheels and Hot Wheel Race Tracks.

That Red Ryder BB Gun!!!!!

Are toys becoming obsolete? Are our kids being brainwashed with portable video game consoles and DVD’s? What about board games? Puzzles? BOOKS!? I dont want to not get my kids what they ask for, but isnt it my duty as a parent to keep them grounded? To remind them that, as amazing as technology is… that there is more to life than the Nintendo DS?

It sucks being a parent sometimes. In no way am I out of touch with my kids’ and their growing generation, but sometimes I feel old fashioned. Like my expectations for what they should want totally overshadows the reality.

It is hard to find that balance. To not fully disappoint them, but not give them everything that they want either.

Thanks for listening.

What was the most memorable gift you ever recieved as a kid?
What was the one thing you asked for, and didnt get?
What is your Christmas shopping status to date? Done? Not even close?

Where do you stand on the shoulds and should nots when it comes to giving kids what they are asking for? How do you, or someone you know find that balance???

Oh. To hear more about the lingerie, I suppose you should read my blog tomorrow. *evil laugh*

Tags: barbie, christmas shopping, easy bake oven, hot wheels, Leggos, letter, mommy, power wheels, presents, red ryder BB gun, santa, sugar-plum, toys

Tired and Inspired.

Dec 4, 2008 Friendship, Random, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions

Have you ever experienced a moment in time that gave you the uplift that you so needed?

It is crazy how the universe works. I never once talked about this unexplainable need to connect. I am lying. I guess what I am meaning to say is that I never said the words: “I need my soul sisters to band together with me and change lives by unconditionally loving as many people as we possibly can.”

It is coming. I can feel the turbulence. Tonight it is buzzing gently across this country. Top to bottom, WE ARE. I am positive that if one of my sisters is laying in bed as I am typing this entry in my life… She is thinking and imagining and believing in what can be. What will be.

Are you confused yet? LMAO. That is okay. You will get it sooner than you think. I suggest you hop on board sooner than later. Be a part of it. Do not for a second deny the inevitable. Visit A Tribe Called Joy. Add us to your friends list. And sit back and watch the magic. The magic of a handful of amazing women with even more spectacular gifts band together to create something bigger than you or me or each other.

As this week rounds to an end, so does Fall Quarter. And, (fuckalready?) 2008. I am tired. I am conflicted. I am grateful and hopeful and wishful… and blessed. I am inspired. I am sitting with some guilt and shame. I need to go to an alanon meeting sooner than later. I need a hug from Tara. A big one. And my Tribe. Even the ones I have yet to share air with. I need Charli to give me a fucking break. I need Xavier to stop lying. I need to appreciate D more. I need to appreciate ME more.

You know what though? This place right here gives me an outlet to be me, and you all are so accepting of who I am. I am pretty sure that this blog or any blog that I ever could draft up could never say how happy I am to banter with all of you every single day.

Thank you.

What are you stewing on as the week and the year comes to a close?
If you picked me for a Secret Santa event, and the limit to spend was $50 what would you get me?
What is one thing on your Christmas list… (even if you dont think you will ever get it in this lifetime.)
Have you ever had passionate sex under the Christmas Tree?

This last question is one that I am really asking for advice on: If someone told you something that you morally could not keep a secret, would you tell the appropriate person without letting them know you did, or would you confront that person and tell them that you were unable to keep their trust?

Tags: A Tribe Called Joy, christmas, end of year, grateful, inspiration, santa, Sex, soul sisters