A Blog About Violence.
Nov 8, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Etc., Family, Friendship, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Parenting, Ranteriffic, Suck It!
Sometimes I would like to punch the fuck out of a bitch.
Some people call that violence. I call it natural selection. Meaning, you are a dumb bitch and then I naturally select YOU to get punched in the face by me.
Example 1: Assuming that I am the one when in fact I am not.
Like, talking shit about me to my husband in my house when I am not even there. Even further into it, the shit you are talking actually is not even close to the truth. Further than that is when you can’t even have a conversation with a bitch.
This lack of adult communication leads me to a blog about violence.
Example 2: Lack of manners.
Be it from kids, in a public place or even on the freeway. It all applies.
“Give me juice!” from a kid instead of “Please may I have some juice.”
Shoving past someone rather than saying “Excuse me.”
Cutting me off on the freeway without looking at how close I am to you and how fast I am going instead of pausing and checking your blind spots while using a blinker.
All 3 are motherfucking rude and also lead me to a blog about violence.
Example 3: Liars.
Tell me the truth. Even if it makes me mad. I am to the point with people who lie where I simply will stop talking to you. Not grudge holding. Not any stubbornness. Simply not willing to put in the time to re-trust you again. I just would rather not.
Liars bring me to a blog about violence.
People are fucking with my last nerve. We talk daily about not being the one. Me specifically not being the one. Once my last nerve is numb, I get violent and I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Add allllllllllllllllll off the other stresses?
Psh.
I might just charge your ass at the bar the next time I see you. And by charge, I mean fly/climb/hop over shit and pummel you to the ground. It would be worth the night in jail and lifetime ban from that bar to stomp a mudhole in your ass.
I might dump juice in your face you mannerless kid and then bitchslap yo’ momma for allowing such behavior to exist.
I might shoulder check the SHIT out of you next time for shoving past me like that. Bitch don’t touch me. I will gladly let you by if you simply fucking ask me to move. Wicked shoulder checks are not pretty. Especially if I accidentally let my hand fly up and slap you in your FACE.
I might ram into you. You don’t know me. The car I am driving might be a throw away car. One that I could give a fuck about the damage. I may not care about my own life either. Maybe I was on my way to the nearest bridge so I could launch my pathetic self off of it.
I might have a bar of Ivory handy ready to shove clean into your mouth if you are the next person to lie to my face.
Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful?
When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt?
Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before?
Tags: behavior, childish, Friendship, road rage, violence
Honest Tuesday’s — 2
Oct 26, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Etc., Family, Honest Tuesday's, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables
Welcome to round 2 of Honest Tuesday’s. It is kinda like TMIT’s but not raunchy … nor will it make you throw up in your mouth. It is more of a weekly check yourself blog. What are you lying to yourself about? What are you pretending to be okay with but really are not okay with? Who are you really?
So I will go first. You will then read, judge me (yes you will) and then purge your own brutal honesty. Be anonymous if you like. I don’t care. It will feel better to say something honest rather than keep it in and lie to yourself and others forever.
I wont judge. Much. *winkwinkwink*
On this Tuesday, I will admit that I am not as mean, brash, hard core as I may like to come across to others.
Shut up.
Look. I will beat a bitch down if I am 1) instigated against 2) drunk enough and provoked 3) in the mood to.
It is true. I am not a tough girl. All of the time anyway. Don’t get it twisted though. I am not scared of no bitch no how. (It is serious enough to have an intentional grammatical error in my blog to irritate most of you reading it.)
This is the thing though.
I am not young. I seem to have adapted this ability to “assess the situation” with my oldER age of 30. Meaning, if a bitch is all disrespectful like in my face or anyone’s face around me that I give a shit about … I have begun to make a decision based on factors.
FACTORS. Who in the fuck makes a decision based on FACTORS?! Oh that’s right. Adults do. Adults who apparently need to set an example for their offspring do. I have been handed this memo certified letter style by D to remind me of my temper/mouth/flailing fucking fist on too many an occasion.
This memo reads something like this:
Dear Wifey,
You should reconsider your hot headed-ness in the following situations:
1) Grocery stores. (That bitch really was that dumb. I promise. It wasn’t an intentional jam on your ankle with her grocery cart)
2) Public FAMILY gatherings. (It is possible that parents of other offspring do not know what the fuck they are doing. You YELLING it across multiple children in profane verbiage is not appropriate. Yes I agree with you. SILENTLY)
3) In the car. (There are kids in the car with you. THE BITCH CANNOT HEAR WHAT A CUNT SHE IS ON THE FREEWAY IN ANOTHER VEHICLE! Your children however, can hear. When Charli uses the word cunt in front of people … I guarantee you will be mortified.)
Please adhere to the above mentioned guidelines promptly to avoid me laying the smack down on your vulgar ass.
Love, D.
Hmph. So what you are saying is, that I am too old to be vulgar? NEVAH! I get it though. If I want my kids to grow up with more tack than I have, I need to put a mild cork in it. Fine. Fine D. You win this time. But let me get drunk enough around NO KIDS or POLICE or BOUNCERS. SAY I WONT GOD DAMNIT!
Also, along with the not being tough admittance for this Honest Tuesday … I will confess a little about my non-toughness. I am sure all of you beezos will get a big fat kick out of it too.
1) I cry at that one State Farm Commercial where a young M.J. is singing “I’ll Be There” at the very beginning. Every. Single. Time. Single tear styles.
2) When Xavier and Charli hug one another, I cry. Like a baby.
3) I cry at chick flicks.
4) Puppies and kitties melt my heart. So do babies. And love. And sentimental gestures. And poetry. And corny pop songs. Sometimes I cry about one or more of these things.
5) I cry after really great sex.
6) I like to do stupid things for people I like. For instance, every Valentines Day, I buy the little Valentine cards and leave them on my co-workers desks. Or I bring the ladies in my life daisies. Or I draw love notes on the fog in the bathroom for X or D to tell them that I love them when they get out of the shower.
See? Not tough. I am a big fucking sap actually.
Shhhh. No one can ever know this secret about me. Keep it between us, K?
What is your Honest Tuesday Confession???
What turns you off about the opposite sex?
What country would you like to visit most? Why?
Would you give a homeless person CPR?
Tags: fight, honesty, marriage, memo, Parenting, road rage, tough, tuesdays, vulgar
