Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s: Gentlemen
Nov 10, 2009 DUH, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sex, Whatever Happened to? Wednesdays, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Welcome to “Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s”!
Today we are gonna talk about gentleman … or lack thereof …
Definition of Gentleman: A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior.
Proper behavior does not consist of the following:
Ass smacking, grabbing, or touching of any kind in a public setting. Especially when that public setting is not of a social nature. Even more especially if it is not asked for.
Referring to a lady as a bitch, slut, skank, ma, breezy, piece of ass.
Ditching a lady after making plans. (And when I say ditching, I mean lying and saying you aren’t feeling well so that you can really go out the bar with your boys.)
Attempting to show out in front of others by not so subtly disrespecting her in front of others to look cool. (i.e. panty swinging or ass grabbing)
Staking claim on a lady (“Get away from my woman” “Leave my woman alone” “That is my woman.”) when she is in fact NOT yours to stake claim upon. i.e. pee all over.
Forgetting to compliment a lady just because she is confident within her own skin. Ladies deserve frequent compliments on their awesome beauty on a regular basis.
Flirting with another lady in front of the lady you are courting.
Talking about your ex. A gentleman picks the right conversation to have ONE TIME about said ex. Not EVERY conversation unless the lady brings it up.
Proper behavior DOES IN FACT INCLUDE the following:
Opening a door for a lady. NOT waiting for HER to open it for YOU.
Walking side by side with her, not trying to out walk her or lag behind to grab her ass or even stare at it. ON PURPOSE.
Being a MAN of your word.
Paying for dinner, even when she tries to insist that she has got it.
Asking a lady out on a proper date. Not dinner at her house, with sex the ultimate motivation for the dinner suggested.
Bringing a lady flowers, or some other inexpensive and thoughtful gesture (i.e. love note, favorite chocolate or bottle of wine) on said date and not because you are in trouble.
Appreciating sex, not expecting sex and having the sex be the entire premise of every conversation that you have with a lady.
Just motherfucking saying.
What’s your most annoying habit?
What are your favorite sayings?
Do you talk to yourself?
Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
A Blog About Parents: “It Is What It Is”
Jun 29, 2009 Family, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Parenting, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
My parents weren’t go-out-and-do-shit parents. Meaning, you know how there are those one parents where every weekend they had this hike or that museum planned to go and do? Yeah. My parents weren’t those parents. For most of my youth, we were poor so it was hard to do stuff.
Looking back I could say that I wished that they were those parents. But I don’t. Not really. We have never really been ‘that family’. We did go and do things. The things we did do were fun times. So I like the fact that what we did meant something… because I think that, from the outside looking in … many of those families are not happy ones behind closed doors. Generally speaking anyway.
(Yes I am aware that this is not all cases and that there are those truly happy 50’s white picket fence chocolate chip cookies when you got home from school families.)
When I was really little my dad drove truck so he was gone during the week a lot of the time. I remember missing him a great deal, and I think that him being gone is the main reason why I was drawn to him the way that I was. I would wait and wait to see or hear his semi truck pull up outside and run as fast as my little feet could move me across the gravel into his bear-arms.
I have always thought that my dad was the coolest dad on the planet.
I remember this one time when he came home, he wanted to take me and my mom out to dinner. As promised, we went to dinner in his truck. When we got there, he came around to get me out of the passenger side. I was so small then; the length of the step from the truck to the bottom step seemed a mile long. I blindly, and in an excited hurry grabbed the steam/exhaust pipe instead of the handle.
I can still feel the pain on the palm of my hand when I think about it to this day.
I screamed and cried as he rescued me and rushed me into the restaurant where I promptly placed my hand in a big glass of ice water. He sat right next to me and told me jokes to try and make me forget about the burn.
“How about I punch you in the other arm. You won’t feel your hand then.”
We used to wrestle.
He used to give me “Monkey Bumps” cause he thought that shit was funny.
He helped me with my math homework. I really suck at math.
He likes to sing. He has a pretty good voice.
He tried to get me to golf. I sucked.
My dad taught me how to drive.
He made me walk to the store when I got my period to buy tampons.
We fish. A lot less than I would like, but…
As I grew into into me, only a hormonal teenager, we began to beef on a daily basis. I don’t know where the rift began, but I know where it ended: When I moved out. He and I are so much alike that it is frightening. Our strong personalities under one roof with one of them being an authoritative figure was like mixing oil and water.
I pushed, he pushed harder. I yelled, he yelled louder. I slammed doors, he slammed harder. But when push came to shove, I knew that he loved me. Maybe that is why I pushed so hard. Maybe … that is why he pushed back that much harder.
Would I change it? Nah. I think that all of the tumultiousness that was our father daughter relationship made us that much more awesome today. He has put up with a great deal of shit with me and my wanting-to-do-it-the-hard-way every time.
When I enlisted in the Navy, and actually followed through with leaving for boot camp,and then tech school… and then a ship… I think that he realized that there was something within me that I actually took away from the things he used to preach to me as a kid. When I returned home, and saw him for the first time, wrapped in his bear-arms again, I truly felt like a little girl again and I remembered that I loved him. We just kinda fell into something pretty great from that moment.
But it wasn’t perfect. *I* wasn’t that great of a daughter all of the time.
I got married before D and didn’t tell my parents until afterward. My selfish ass didn’t consider that maybe my dad wanted to walk me down the isle.
I got my dad fired from Metro. (I didnt know at the time) He had bags of bus fare in his room to turn in, and I stole so.much.change. What I didn’t know, is that he almost faced criminal charges for it. (I later found this out after jokingly telling him that I was the one who stole the change)
The cops were called to my house several times. Because of my fight instigation.
I am pretty sure that I told my dad that I hated him angrily… one time too many.
Above all, my dad has always embraced me for me. He has expressed his thoughts as to who he thought that I should become, but understood (after some adjustment) and accepted who I chose to be and how I chose to live my life and conduct my business. I think that I can say that he is proud of me.
But most importantly, my dad is an honest man. He treats my mom with the utmost respect. My dad (thinks he) is funny. He lives life with an “it is what it is” motto. He isn’t perfect, but he always stands up for what is right and what he believes in. I may not like it at the time… but that doesn’t matter. I know when I call him and I ask him for his advice, he is gonna give it to me. No sugar coating. No bullshit. None of it.
And that is more than I can say for most people in the world.
What kind of relationship do you have with the dad in your life?
Have you ever done something that made your dad burst with pride?
What is the worst thing you ever did as a teen/kid and got busted for?
Tags: adolesence. mom, dad, daughter, father, fight, love, mom, mom and dad, Parenting, respect, teenager
The Wrong Approach
Mar 30, 2009 Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sex, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Girl walks into a bar with her girlfriends.
Girl may or may not be into other girls.
Girl is obviously wearing a wedding ring.
Girl walks up to the bar to order a drink.
….
A couple is sitting to her left.
One of her girlfriends to her right.
Girl realizes that she is being stared at and talked about. By the couple.
Girl also realizes that the couple is new to the bring-a-girl-home scene.
The lady in the couple situation smiles at girl.
Girl averts eyes, and thinks “What the fuck is this broad staring at?”
And the bitch keeps staring. And talking.
….
Girl over hears the lady say “She is exactly who I would want to take home.”
Girl thinks, “Wait, what?”
Girl realizes that she is staring. Again.
What she doesn’t realize is that Girl is a pro multi-tasking ignorer.
Girl can appear to not notice or be paying attention with extreme expertise.
So, as Girl pretends to not notice her staring, and talking, the lady continues to talk shit.
“Who is she to ignore me smiling?”
“Am I completely invisible?”
“I don’t know how she couldn’t possibly see me smiling. Does she not have the ability to return my gesture?”
Girl gets her drink, glances down at the purse sitting on the bar stool next to the lady and says to her “That is a really cute purse.” and smiles at her.
Translation: I heard you, bitch. Don’t expect that simply because you put it out there that it will get returned to you. Furthermore, I heard you. It is unattractive to assume that everyone you are attracted to will reciprocate. Self-centered behavior is unattractive. Especially when it comes to the laws of attraction.
Confidence is sexy. I appreciate and possess an air of confidence in everything I do. But there is a fine line betweem confident and full of yourself.
I haven’t dated for many years, however certian aspects never die out. Leave your cheesy pick-up lines at the door. Leave the option of rejection open. Do not assume that every bitch in the place is watching you.
Especially in a bisexual encounter. Or a possible bisexual encounter.
If you are bisexual you know that the area is so grey when it comes to finding a person to explore and experience with, that it is so easy to misread signs and give off signals that could quite possibly offend someone.
I am no prude. However I do not like to be looked at as a piece of meat. By anyone. Male or Female. My sexuality is what it is, but there are standards in place. And expections. And a level of respect within myself that is extremely important to me.
Yep. I am Girl. And the above scenario happened to me this weekend.
I was less than amused. And not flattered. I am not new to being bisexual, and I will not be talked about as if I was on display at a ‘find your bisexual hook-up’ store.
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.
Oh. Pee Ess. You were not nearly cute enough to act that way.
Have you ever been offended by the approach?
What would you have done if you were me?
Tags: bar, couple, dating, drink, hook-up, laws of attraction, offended, respect, threesome
The Mother (in-law) Load.
Dec 10, 2008 Addiction & Recovery, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions
Raise your hand if you have one.
Raise your hand if you know of a friend or relative who has one.
Now. Raise your hand if you or your friend/relative’s expieriences are pleasant ones… most of the time.
I have a friend. She is one of my oldest, dearest friends in the whole world. She happens to have the mother in law from hell. I could tell you horror story upon horror story of the manipulation and gameplay that has commenced on a weekly… sometimes daily basis with this one.
I have another friend. She has a mother in law who is a loving caring woman. She respects boundaries, doesnt overstep into the fine lines that are drawn in the sand over parenting styles… her grandkids adore her… and for the most part, so does my friend. The problem is that she has a tendency to be flaky. This is not new information to my friend. In fact, if you asked this MIL, she would attest to her flaky ways.
Today, my friend wrote to me… partially in jest of the situation, but the other part angered. Here is what she wrote:
“We all know she is a great woman. We also all know that she has a problem. I tried to ask her to leave her debit card at home, and just take minimal cash with her to the casino. She, of course, refused… and went missing for 24 hours. No call, no nothing. She finally called me at 2:30 AM because she ‘was not having fun anymore.’ She wanted one of us to come pick her up. Of course He did… because that is his mom, but mostly because I simply did not have it in me at that hour to even acknowledge the reality or validity of this phone call. So He drove 40 minutes to this casino, where he found her sprawled on a bench in front of the entrance. He pretty much had to carry her to the car. Her and the liquor cabinet that she was carrying on her breath.
We, including my child, were all worried sick. I called hospitals and police stations… but in my heart I knew that she simply was being selfish. She was not hurt… she just didnt think to call. My mother in law literally lost track of 24+ hours.
Bottom line, I have lost respect for her. She has crossed the line, and what I have to say… she doesnt want to hear”
What does she do?
Does my friend have the right to say something to her about this incident?
Or is she to leave it to her son to handle?
Do you have an in-law-from-hell story?? Even if it isnt your own. I would love someone to top this.
Tags: alcohol, casino, drunk, hospital, in laws, lost track of time, money, respect, worry
