Living Wicked

Attitude Schmatitude

Feb 28, 2010 All Things Charli, Current Events, Family, P.O.E. Biz, Parenting, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, bitch

Hellooooooo o o o Monday! Hello new month! Hello friends!

First and foremost, check out the new links on my side bar. There are new Buy Stuff links and a couple of new blog links.

So there is a great deal going on in the world of Wicked. For the most part, all is great. I was finally able to get my contract scanned and sent over to XoXo Publishing. It took a minute to get the time together and my damn scanner working so I kinda started to panic like they might want to take it away because I freaking procrastinated. *phew*

So that is done. *squeeeee*

I don’t know what this means though. Like, what is the next step? What do published authors actually do?!

Anyway, I hit a huge goal at work this last month. I am still a tad in disbelief that I did it; you know, going back to the whole scared of success business I go through every day. I am getting better at believing each and every day.

What this has done for me is afewfold.

Every month I feel more invested in our team. It’s crazy but we are a bunch of vulgar and inappropriate nerds and we all (for the most part) click together. When we are on, we are hot. Anyway, as I wes saying … as I get more invested, I get more team territorial. Meaning, when someone is acting like an asshole … I take it kinda personally.

I am not a fan of bad attitude. Like bad attitude where you are your only concern and everyone else can fuck off. Where you try and act as if you are above everyone else, to the point where it is borderline disrespect. The way I roll is that I am all in. If I am going to spend the bulk of my day away from the 3 most important people in my life, I am not going to half-ass it or disrespect it. And I don’t think that anyone else should either. Mainly because it affects me too when you are a fucking beeyotch.

Attitude is everything. It makes and breaks … and the line that attitude teeters on to either make or break … is a fucking thin one.

I don’t like this “I am better than you attitude” in my presence. It makes me want to chicken choke a bitch.

This is my stance on it:

If you think you should be running the show, and you are not … maybe that is for a reason.
If you need to name drop to make yourself feel better … maybe you should find an alternative soothing method.
If you cannot spend an extra 10 minutes of your important little life in order to be a part in a really awesome moment with a really awesome team … maybe you should find a new job.

Maybe … just maybe … you should look up the definition of team and then see if you can comprehend exactly what in the hell it means to be a contributor on it.

In other news, Charli’s blatant refusal to use the potty has since had a turn around. She has officially stopped freaking the hell out every time we bring it up. Now, when I ask … she goes. The next step is getting her motivated to tell us, without us having to ask her eleventy million times an hour.

Annnnnnnnd today she pooped! For the first time! YAY!

Other than that, I have got nothin’. Nothin’ but a new month where I am going to work my ass off to hit my goals. I have my eyes on the prize and I am ready to make it consistent achievement every single month.

What is new with you?!

If you could be famous (a household name), what would you like to be famous for?
If you could go back to any moment in history, where would you go?

Tags: attitude, integrity, potty training, team, team work, territorial, work

TMIThursday: No. I Farted.

Aug 12, 2009 All Things Charli, Current Events, Family, Parenting, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms

Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!

You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.

If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs…

Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….

Since last weeks TMIT was record books nastay… I will give you all a break and make this week a little more mildsalsastyles.

The focus in the Wicked house is getting Charli out of those MFing expensive ass diapers. D’s mission, if he chooses to accept it … is to potty train Mini Me.

Just like with Xavier, we have kinda let her let us know when she was ready. I didn’t want to give her a “potty complex” or anything. (Parents out there know what I am talking about) Potty training is serious business. If you start too early, issues. Start too late… you end up with a 35 year old living in your basement, addicted to free internet porn sites.

I am serious. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. (Pun TOTALLY intended)

Annnnnnnyway. Now she is 2 and has expressed potty interest. We have had several potty successes. We have also had several … ahem… mishaps. We have tried the pull-ups. No bueno. She considers these bad boys to be big girl diapers.

So D has had enough of the coddling. He goes, buys Charli some pretty Dora the Explorer panties. She is all excited about wearing them. Little does she know … these are NOTHING like the big girl diapers.

This afternoon, as I sat here wondering what in the hell I was going to TMIT about … My phone rings.

D: (sounding stressed the hell out) “Where are the other panties I bought your DAUGHTER?”
Me: “Uhhh the washer?”
D: “You didnt start the clothes. She used up all the other ones.”
Me: “Damn, really?”
D: “Yeah man. She pooped, and then tried to hide from me!”
Me: “She hid?”
D: “Yes. I was starting to freak out because I couldnt find her and then I come around the corner and there she was.”
Me: “She was avoiding you”
D: “I KNOW. SO then, when I asked her, Charli did you poop she goes: No. I farted.”
Me: “HAHAHA.”
D: “She sooooo didnt fart. I could see the bulge.”
Me: “So she pooped, hid while sitting in shit, and then LIED about it?”

D: “Yeah dude.”
Me: “She is not going to be easy to potty train.”
D: “Fuck. I already know. Shegetitfromhermama”
Me: “I hate you. Thats why you cant find any panties and have a fistful of 2yo shit.”
D: “Dtone”

Click Buzz.

Fucker.

AND THEN:

Me: (for the 50th motherfucking time) “Charli do you have to go potty?”
Charli: “Idonwanit”
Me: “Lets try to go before dinner, k?”
Charli: “K”

4.2 seconds later

Charli: “Donepottymommy”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Charli: “WASHHANDS!”
Me: “Fine.”

2 minutes later: I am making her plate for dinner and I hear the sound of liquid hitting the floor. I look for overflow. Nothin. So I come around the corner… to a puddle of pee on the floor.

She had peed. In her high chair. And it seeped through the motherfucking cracks and onto my floor.

With that, does anyone have any stubborn 2 year old potty training tips? Please and thanks in advance.
Any potty training horror stories?

Tags: 2 year old, Parenting, poop, potty training, terrible two's, tmithursday

Born to Inspire

Aug 4, 2009 All Things Charli, Creative Writing/Poetry, Family, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, bitch

Happy Hump Day!

DC Princess AKA Q AKA Numbah 1 AKA Sistah from anotha mistah has a pretty kick ass contest/giveaway going on over on her blog. All you have to do is click the link, read, and finish the sentence: Born to ______. She will take care of the rest. (You should follow her on Networked Blogs too. Just saying)

The title to today’s blog is what my answer was. Reading a lot of the other answers, I felt kinda cheated. I think that Q is seeking thoughtful answers. Answers that come from the persons heart. To speak to who they are individually. If I was her, I would be.

My answer is true to me. I enjoy motivating other people to do good. Be it good for themselves, or good for others.

The other day I was talking to a co-worker about my progress with South Beach. She has been looking to make a change, but wasnt sure how or if it would work for her and in her lifestyle. The thing that she worried about, I worried about: How will my family work around my dieting. When we talked about how D and the kids simply add a starch to the same meal I enjoy… and I have extra veggies, I think she was sold. I linked her… and off she went.

Another friend mentioned that my (yes I know FINALLY) publishing Submissive Confessions *cough*haveyouboughtyoursyet*cough* inspired her thinking. She might pull some of her work together and also self-publish. This makes me super duper happy.

And then, I think I helped another friend figure out what she wanted to do for her blog layout. She was experience creative blockage. That sucks more than anything… to want so badly to be creative, but be completely stuck in a rut.

Not that I am blowing smoke up my own ass or anything, which I often do I know… but it just feels really good to help people feel good about themselves. In whatever way I can. Inspiration = happiness. At least for me anyway.

In other news, Charli is the biggest brat on the planet. I am not sure if I have ever seen such a bratty display of the terrible 2’s ever. I desperately need to get her into a playgroup. She needs to learn to share. She beats and bosses the hell out of her brother, and I am not sure that it is a healthy learning progression for her. She knows that she can tell him what to do and get her way. In another environment, I think that it will be a different dynamic.

On a good note, she pooped on the potty the other day. We cheered, did the “Charli pooped on the potty dance and high 5″ and went about our business.

From then on though, she hasn’t. Whenever I ask… no matter if she has to/has gone/needs to go… the answer is always “NO” when I ask about the poop. She will tell D and X the truth, right in front of my face. But when I ask, in the same moment of a “YES” to her daddy… I get a “NO MOMMY!”

WTF?!

Speaking of business, the naked cunt-whore coffee stand that I putmyfootdownbutDstillgoestoseeanyway so the foot down was not effective at all… has a new slut. Today, she was wearing skull and crossbones pasties. Even the most avid pirate lovers should see the tacky in this display.

D: “Mia–”
Me: “does she really need to have a name? Cant you just use dumbnakedcoffeewhore? A name associated makes me want to punch you in your junk”
D: “Sorry. dumbnakedcoffeewhore was wearing skull and crossbones pasties.”
Me: “Defamation of pirate character. Did you say “Arrrrrrrgh” to her?”
D: “uhh no. But she totally put my change in her thong and stuck her ass out the window so I could … uhm … retrieve it.”
Me: Blink Blink.
D: (cracking up.)
Me: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”
D: (dying)
Me: “Guess who is going to be a good wife and get you coffee tomorrow?”
D: “You are so cute when you are protective.”
Me: “If by protective you mean punch her in her ass when she hands me my change back normally tomorrow.”

D: “what?.”
Me: “I better get my change returned to me in the exact same way as you did.”
D: “What do you mean?”
Me: “The change receipt procedure should be the exact same for all customers.”
D: “She isnt gonna do it.”
Me: “I know she isnt. Wait til you see the look on her face when I ask her why you received it out of her ass crack, and I am stuck with hand to hand contact.”
D: “You wont.”
Me: “Bet.”

To be continued…

Finish the sentence! “Born to ______” (tell me AND Q)

Also…….. What was your favorite saturday morning cartoon growing up?