Arm Wrestling With Apologies
Apr 12, 2009 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Plunges, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
You wanna know what is awesome?
Being able to admit fault.
I think that the ability to take a step back and re-live a moment that you may or may not have had a part in, admitting your fuck-ups, and then moving on is an attribute that many do not possess. I think it is because it is easier for people to blame shift and make excuses. It takes a strong individual to really have the balls to stand up and say “My Bad” or “I apologize for my part in this fucked up situation” and truly be genuine about it.
I hate forced apologies. That is why I rarely apologize. No shit. In the almost 10 years that I have been with D, I have made pro-active apologies (meaning me initiating them) maybe 20 times. And we fight a lot. We used to anyway… like, we went 2-3 years at the beginning of our marriage fighting on a daily, even hourly basis. Many fights that I initiated.
Did I initiate the apology after? Nope.
In fact, if you know me… I will do pretty much everything EXCEPT apologize. And when I have, they have almost always been in a card that has a pre-written “I’m sorry” inside of it with some cute animal with sad eyes holding a heart on the front. D has a shoe-box full of them.
This is more of an “Old Wicked” trait than a new. I am better at owning responsibility then I used to be… so now if I am truly at fault, and I know it… I will throw out those horrid words.
“I am sorry.”
Blah. Old or new, past or present… I would rather eat my arm off sometimes than utter an apology.
But I do it. I suck in all of the reasons why I don’t want to, I brush the cunt off of my shoulder that is insisting that whatever bitch thinks they deserve an apology from me can suck it… and I just plunge into that moment of humility.
A heartfelt apology means so much to someone who truly deserves it.
That is all I’ve got today folks. Hope you are having a great Sunday evening-slash-Monday morning.
So… Do you struggle with apologies?
Do you try to do other things to avoid apologies? What?
What is the hardest apology that you have ever had to suck up and own?
Tags: apologies, argument, awesomeness, blame shift, excuses, humility, i'm sorry, marriage, plunge
Plunges and Toe-Dips
Dec 16, 2008 Relationships, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions
This Christmas, D and I decided to do something together this year as our gift. Especially considering the fact that we rarely get that time together to spend just the 2 of us. Usually when we do get kidless time, we wild-out with Tarable. Not that my evil twin is not fun times or anything, we just both decided that it would be good to take the day and pamper ourselves.
I haven’t looked forward to something so much in a long, long time.
Even with my engine committing suicide.
Even with the economy being shatty shatty 2X4.
I would spend my last dollar to spend an entire day with D and only D.
With that said, I decided that I would give D a special gift to go along with our day. Remember how yesterday I mentioned that I was buying lingerie for the first time in 7 years? Yeah.The first time in s e v e n years.
Don’t ask.
But Wicked, how is it that you are so sex forward and open, yet you dont own a single piece of lingerie?!
Didnt I tell you not to ask?? I already know. This is not new information. I used to have a shit-ton of sexy fuckwear. Before Xavier was born. Before I hated my body. (shutit)
It is difficult to feel sexy in clothes when you don’t feel sexy in your skin.
For the longest time, I would get dressed in a room with no mirrors. I was uninterested in extras and accessories. Especially in the bedroom. When you go and look at boudoir attire, most of it is either form-fitting or completely see-thru. So many sexy things on the mannequin, but not on my body.
Have you been there before?
So for the last 2 weeks I have battled with my insecurities. Do I take the plunge or do I stick with what is comfortable?
The new me takes that plunge. Well, I actually dipped my toes in first. Regardless, it was a step in the right direction. As insecure as I am still, I feel equally as confident and sexy. I bought something sexy and classy. Something that I would be the most comfortable in. And I paired it with hot thigh-highs and shoes.
Wanna see?
This is the sexy sleepshirt.
It is just short enough and the neck-line plunges just the right amount.
I did not get this color. I got black.
I will be wearing these stockings all night.
They are cute enough to pull off at dinner, but sexy enough to rock all alone.
These shoes are similar to the ones I have.
Heh. That is all that needs to be said about that.
Anyway, I am really excited to:
-Go to the spa for:
Heated Foot Soak and Beverage
50 Minute Relaxation Massage
Peppermint Scalp Massage/ Treatment
Swiss Shower & Infrared Sauna
White Tea & Ginger Sugar Body Scrub
White Tea Classic Pedicure
-Stay at a hotel
-Have an adult dinner with adult conversation.
-Maybe go see a movie
-Or have drinks and dance
-Or just go back to the room, make love and go to bed
Regardless… Make Love. and Sleep. Ohhhh yes… Sleep. And Make Love. And Sleep. Repeat.
Have you recently taken a plunge, or a toe-dip? What was the fear or insecurity you faced?
Have you not plunged, but at least pondered doing so? What about?
What is your favorite piece of lingerie that you own, or your lover owns?
Describe your idea of the perfect day with the one you love… money being of no object… reasonably… What would you do? Where would you go?
Tags: christmas, facing fear, fat, fear, insecurities, kids, lingerie, love making, marriage, massage, plunge, ponder, Sex, spa
