My Dysfunctional Office Space
Jan 6, 2009 Random, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions
Office chemistry trips me the fuck out.
There is this broad in my office who is as slutty as they come. She will leech herself on to the nearest douche-sicle, married or not… until they have to evict her from the house she built underneath their collective nut sacks. It is more pathetic than it is comical… but it is still fucking funny to watch nonetheless.
There is another breezy that I work with who cannot pull it together and figure out what teamwork is all about. Everything is a negative annotation. Dont suggest a motherfucking thing that doesnt work for her, because she will gripe and cry and moan until she gets herself out of it. Yeah, that special attention and treatment she is clearly not getting at home.
My least favorite is Ms. Nosey. She cannot keep her face out of gossips ass for 1 second. What is most annoying is that she tries her hardest to bring me into the dook-shoot with her. If I didnt need my paycheck so bad, I would tell her that I think she needed to bitch up and get her own life and stay out of everyone elses. And if she cant do that, at least keep her shit digging off of my desk because I am not interested.
Dont get me wrong. I appreciate juicy office gossip like most of us do on occasion. However, it really depends on who is dishing and how often to decide whether or not i 1) listen or 2) give it any after thought. The above mentioned bitch gets zero gossip cred with me.
The 3 some that I am convinced fuck on the regular that are joined at the pubic hair. They smoke every 15 minutes. Do the math. How much work actually gets accomplished if you are smoking every 15-20 minutes? None. So what? We pay you to smoke with your fuck buddies?
The fuck stick on my team who thinks he is better than everyone. Like, literally. I am pretty sure he is not that cool.
The cliques that eat, drink and fuck together. They also stab each other in the back as quick as they become besties.
Mr. MyDaughterIsSickEveryOtherDay. Please. In all the kids I have ever been around, this family has to be the most succeptable to colds in the history of forever. I think that he was at work 1 week out of the whole month of November. Dont start in on ‘what if she has a serious issue’ bullshit. Because she doesnt. His excuse? Daycare. Daycare is the root of all sickness in the world. Psh. Sorry. I just dont see a kid being that sick that much. Furthermore, if my kid kept getting sick at daycare, I would be looking for a new daycare.
Who am I in the office? I am a mouthy bitch that doesnt really like to be bothered. I am exactly the same in the office as I am at home. At the gym. In my underwear. At school.I have pretty shoes and crack jokes as much as possible. I dont work enough. But when I do, I get shit done. I hate meetings. I dont go to training. I dont kiss anyones ass. Thats me. I like to watch and listen… and observe.
Who are you in your office?
Do you have office drama?
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What is the dynamic in your office environment?
Check out PQ’s blog today: http://thepqnation.com/blog/2009/01/puppy-love-cute-or-dangerous/
Tags: gossip, nosey, office, office slut, rumors
