Joy of Mommyhood #6412346:
May 17, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Family, I WIN!, Parenting, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms
Just when I think that being a mom couldn’t be anymore rewarding.
Friday night, D found some dress that was given to us by one of his old co-workers a long time ago… when I was still pregnant with Charli.
It is the ugliest dress known to man.
So I convince Xavier to put it on.
Me: “Put it on. I bet it fits you!”
X: “Fine. I will put it on. But you cant post it on Myspace.”
Me: (this is too easy) “Ok. Deal. I wont post it on Myspace.”
X: (looking skeptical) “Or that one bookface thingy.”
Me: “Facebook?”
X: “Yes!”
Me: (fake sighing) “Fine. No Facebook either.”
So he puts the dress on. I come with the camera and … as I get ready to snap the picture …
X: “Oh! One more thing!”
Me: “What?”
X: “No blogging!”
Me: (fuckshithell) “What?! No! The original deal was no FB or Myspace!”
*Snap*
This is the genuine expression of someone who has just been duped. *grin*
Ugly Dress: $0
Digital Camera: $150
Laptop: Company Loaner
Seeing the look on Xavier’s face when I told him I was posting this on the internet: Priceless
Don’t think for one second that this picture is not going in the archives to put on display for every single potential girlfriend he brings home to mama.
I am the devil… and I am loving every second of it.
Did your parent humiliate you with pictures of you in compromising situations?
Do you have pics like this of your kids?
If you were a sandwich, what kind would you be?
Haaaaaaaaaappy Monday!
Allotted Annoyance
Apr 26, 2009 All Things Charli, Current Events, DUH, Friendship, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Happy Monday!
In the interest of my current state of monthly allotment of cuntiness, I have created a list of things that are annoying the ever living shit out of me lately.
I encourage you to embrace this blog and make your own list of accumulated annoyances.
1. Obama bashing. This is not because I am this uber-Obama-nutcase who wears Obama attire every day with an Obama bumper sticker on my vehicle. This is because every where I go, someone has a paragraph and a half about how shitty he is and how bad he has fucked everything up and how the 100 days in office are the reason for all of the countries problems. I dont care who the current President is. I really do not. If it were McCain in office right now, I would be just as irritated with the excessive amount of shit-talking. Am I the only person who is considering the fact that there are at least 2 previous administrations before him that have begun the fucking-up.
How can someone make this big of a mess of things in 100 days? Maybe I am politically ignorant… but… It doesn’t make sense.
This is not pointed at any specific party: Shut UP already!
2. Haters. Specifically the silent, sneaky ones. For instance, many of you follow my blogs through Networked Blogs. (Hint Hint if you haven’t you should) I have noticed that people who are listed as “Anonymous FB User” are following my blogs. Really? What reason would you have to follow me anonymously? Why are you hiding behind the FB silhouette? I smell a rat with a funky vagina in the presence of awesomeness.
Also, the haters who smile in your face, but talk shit around you and behind you … and really everywhere else but to your face.
Say what you need to say. To me. Not behind me.
3. Uninvited Pessimism. I get that people dont always agree. I get that my beliefs aren’t that of those who are in my life. However. To attempt to bring down my passion and my dreams because you dont have any? Uncool.
4. App invitations and excessive fan pages. Become a fan of not being on fire? Really? I dont have any desire to do any of the bazillion apps that are sent my way. I dont have time. Stop asking. Seriously. Not Fashion Wars (even though I totally invited a shit ton of people at one point) Not Mafia Wars. Not GreenPatch. None of it. FB is losing its luster. Myspace can still suck it. TRIBE needs to create a social networking site that is not annoying.
5. All things Twitter. Nuff said.
6. My lack of motivation. I am just not in that place right now, and I really really really need to be.
7. The VA bitch at my school. She has to be the most difficult bitch on the planet to deal with on a daily basis. If it isnt one fucking thing it is the other and all I want to do is just go to school. That is it. She doesnt seem to understand that it is not my intention to deal with her regularly. Just certify my shit and get out of my face. GET OUT OF MY FACE.
8. People hurting my friends feelings.
9. Charli. I know. I get it. But I need to share something. She doesn’t sleep through the night. And, when I am home, she literally has to be touching me. From the time I walk in the door until the time she passes out. I need space. Not want, need. NEED. She doesn’t seem to get yet, that her crawling all over me like I am her human catpost… is not my favorite thing.
Sit next to me. Not ON me. At least for like, I dunno, an hour. Shit, 20 minutes. Fine, FIVE minutes. Whatever. I am just feeling extremely claustrophobic.
10. Pretentious-ness. On date night, we went out into downtown Bellevue. For those of you who dont know… it is a little bit boo-jee. Like, dont show up in some Target brand jeans, or drive anything less than a Lexus… boo-jee. Anyway, D and I braved that shit anyway… putting on our Sunday best and simply enjoying each others company. As we left the theatre, and were coming down the escalator… this total fucking douchebag, who was completely wasted, stopped D to comment on his sweater vest. (which is really dope, btw.)
DB: “Duuuuuuuuude! That is a kick ass sweater vest! Where did you get it?”
D: “Thanks Bro.” (Turning to me) “Babe, where did I get it?”
Me: “TJ Max.”
DB: “TJ Max?! No way.”
D: “Yeah.”
DB: (laughing) “I guess it isnt as kick ass as I thought it was.”
Me: “I am glad we are not out to impress you then. Dick.”
Right. How does an item of clothing lose its kick-assness based on where you purchase it at? DKNY is DKNY no matter if you paid full price or not. In my opinion, the less you spend on name brand the mother fucking better.
Suck it douche bag. But hand over the keys to your over-compensating-vehicle and your platinum credit cars first before you do.
Do you have a list of annoyances?
Wanna add comments to mine?
What did you do this weekend?
Tags: annoyance, facebook, friends, McCain, motivation, myspace, networked blogs, obama, pessimism, pms, politics, tribe, twitter
The Problem With ‘Free’
Mar 21, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Ranteriffic, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, You've Got Wicked Mail
The problem with free in reference to completely hypothetical and generally specific social networking websites is the fact that there is absolutely zero customer service. You aren’t paying for it, so errors and issues and questions and concerns of any kind that one might have is completely last priority.
All the while, the Richie-Rich creators of the previously mentioned Hypothetical Social Networking Sites sit back and rake in the $$$$$ from the advertisement dollars spent plastering that one broad with the fucking muffin top, Cover Girl make-up suggestions, or that guy plugging Tide Total Care down the right hand column of the page.
Hypothetically speaking of course.
I left one of the 2 main sites for the other on several friends recommendations. The one I left became inconvenient. Error upon error. Drama blog after drama blog. Work blocked it. It was time for a change. So I put my face on this online book full of people who I had already kept in contact with and ended up re-connecting with several people who I hadn’t seen or talked to in many years. Such a cool, fun and kick ass environment, this totally general social networking site became for me.
Until yesterday. I got 14 texts in 10 minutes. My toolbar at the bottom of my laptop was full of IM’s asking me what in the hell happened to my account? So, I log in, and am then notified that I had been reported and flagged as a fake account.
Errr?
So I click on the more info link. Of course, I am given an email address to use if this has happened in error. Which, it has, so I am for damned sure going to email.
And it goes a lil somethin like this:
To Whom it May Concern,
I was disabled because I was listed under a fake name. My name is not fake, in fact it is my pen name. My real name is Courtni Kenyon-George,however I go by Wicked Courtni as my writing name. I am absolutely real and am really upset that I was not at least contacted first before I was disabled.
Please reactivate my account. Thank you in advance for your time.
Their pre-written email template reply:
Hi,
Unfortunately, our systems detected that the name on your account might violate our standards. Hypothetical Social Networking Site #2 requires all profiles to be associated with a full, real name that corresponds to a single individual.
Please provide the following information, and we will gladly re-evaluate the status of your account.
First Name:
Last Name:
Primary use for account:
Thanks,
The Hypothetical Social Networking Site #2 Team
Uhhh… Did you bitches READ my email? ‘Cause I am pretty sure I did include my real name.
My response:
I did provide that information in my original email.
Courtni Kenyon-George My primary use is to connect and reconnect with my friends. I have friends all over the country. I chose ‘Hypothetical Social Networking Site #2 over Hypothetical Social Networking Site #1 after using that site exclusively for 3+ years. I am a real person. This is really frustrating and I think that it might be time to update your policy. Some sort of warning or request for authentication would be appreciated.
Please let me know.
This was at 8AM. No response. So I start to look for a phone number. Did I find one? I shonuff did. I called this joke of a fucking phone number, was asked politely to press #1 to speak to someone in customer service. When I did, all I got was a pre-recorded message stating that this hypothetical social networking site does not have live customer service help for its USERS.
Of course it doesn’t.
And that is the problem with free.
The previously recorded douche-bag also mentioned another email address to contact them at. So, I did. And I cc’d the email address that I already had… you know, to be the squeaky fucking wheel.
To Whom it May Concern,
I am trying to have my account enabled after being disabled with absolutely no warning what-so-ever that I may or may not be in violation of your terms of service. I am not getting any response from the email address disabled@hypotheticalsocialnetworkingsite#2.com and I have emailed them what they have requested in order to “research” the issue.
I don’t know what the issue could be, but I haven’t been given an ETA or anything that could give me an idea as to when I will have my account enabled or not. I am not a fake profile. I am not a spammer, nor have I ever spammed anyone for any reason. I am a real person. My info has my real phone number, and my photo albums are of my family. I should not have to sit here and wait to have someone press a button to get my account back live, especially when I have done nothing to warrant this happening.
I use my pen name as my first and last. I am unsure as to how this is against any terms, as when I am a published author, it will be used to identify me as such. Where can I put my real name, other than in the publicly viewed areas, so that I am not ‘in violation’? I should not be required to use my full legal name in publicly viewed areas for privacy reasons. I may not want everyone in the world to be able to access me by searching by my first and last name.
Furthermore, the fact that you are quick to disable a persons account without allowing them the opportunity to authenticate, defend or prove otherwise what the accusations are is absolutely unacceptable. I left Hypothetical Social Networking Site #1 after 3+ years exclusively with them on a friends’ recommendation and am rethinking my decision. I was looking for an error free, drama free way to stay connected and re-connect with friends and colleagues. That website may have errors… but at least they have a little bit of flexibility and customer service. I have never had any issues such as this with them, and I have been going by my pen name for longer than I have been associated with either of these social networking websites.
Please contact me as soon as possible with some sort of a resolution to this ridiculous issue. If you aren’t going to choose to enable my account, please forward me the instructions needed in order to obtain my personal files that you are holding hostage without warning.
So I guess now I am fighting with my pride.
1) Do I wait to see if they will enable it?
2) Do I create a new account while I wait for their response?
3) Do I even want to associate with Hypothetical Social Networking Site #2 anymore?
I don’t know yet. What I do know is that I am fucking angry. Angry that I cant really do anything about it. The fact that my hands are cuffed in this situation really irks me, especially being that the lack of response or consideration of the users is sub-par.
So if you were wondering, that is what happened to my account… and this is what is the up-to-date happenings as to what has happened since it was disabled. Thanks to all of you who emailed the site admin. Unfortunately, it isnt going to do any good. They are gonna take their sweet fucking time making a decision on something that doesnt and never did need a decision made upon.
But again. That is the problem with free. I would rather pay a small monthly fee in order to have the support required, than to be subjected to this unnecessary and unwarranted bullshit.
What would you do?
Any other examples of how free becomes more of a hassle than what it is worth?
Tags: customer service, disabled, email, facebook, myspace, phone nunmber, social networking websites, twitter
myspace and blogs suck.
Nov 7, 2008 Random
i hate raspberry filled powdered doughnuts. a lot. but i love powdered doughnuts. every time i try to eat around the nasty fucking raspberry filling i always fucking get a bite of it and wanna vomit.
it ruins it for my powdered doughnut eating experience.
i gave a guy a ride to the transit center after school the other night. he was young, and kinda thuggish. he asked me out of nowhere if i was passing by the transit center, and i almost lied. but, even though my inner paranoia was telling me he was gonna rob me, i let him roll.
surprise surprise. he didnt jack me. looks can be deceiving in a bad way too.
i fucking finished my book. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. if everything goes right, it will be ready for purchase before xmas. heh. yes yes ya’ll. dont know what to get your gramma for christmas? Submissive Confessions. You need to give your pastor something out of the kindness of your heart? Submissive Confessions.
I will sign the first 1000 copies sold.
this just in: Chrissa has banned the word ghetto.
also, i havent read a good blog (other than the fucking oscar winning comedy from yesterday) on this page in weeks. thank fucking obama (heh) for eve-101 & the nation. wicked kissed pecosa over there while a certain redhead watched pjammy eat cereal all the live long day. if you know of a myspace blog or any other cool fucking blog that i am missing that you can actually read that is not political, ’cause’ vomiting, asking for some fucking money, or drama… link me.
bowchicka.
i am in a mood. i have been for weeks and it has inspired me, made me a cunt, scored me a’s on my papers, and made me forget that the world does not revolve around me. i am meanly sarcastic, cry at the drop of the hat, horny, brain-fried, and half empty from my toes to my crotch hole. i need a joy fill up or my next trip is going to be to pessamistic town. im gonna change my name to paula. i like being cuntified to an extent. right now, it is taking over my _____.
anyway.
also, follow the awesome path to the water of love. it will bring you more joy than you will ever know. trust me.
lastly, i love you guys. all of ya. well, i cant lie… except for you.
the end.
peeeeee esssssssss motherfuckin tommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sucks.
Tags: blogs, inspired, moody, myspace, obama, politics, Submissive Confessions
Lost: Inspiration/Found: It and More
Nov 3, 2008 Thoughts and Perceptions
Something happened to me yesterday. Something major. I opened up my unfinished novel, after almost 3 months of not even attempting to finish it and I began to write. I didn’t stop until it was finished.
I have an idea of where the inspiration came from, but I am not sure if it is truth or not… But I watched the entire first season of Californication on Saturday. If you haven’t ever seen it… I absolutely recommend you check it out.
David Duchovny is cast as a cynical prick of a Novelist who is suffering from extreme writers block since his split from his long time girlfriend-slash-babiesmomma. She was his inspiration. At the end, after many episodes of assholish, alcohol induced disfunction, he is able to write again. Granted, his end product had a great deal to do with true-to-life events, but that doesn’t change the fact that he found his inspiration.
He found his inspiration. Seeing him find it (I think) caused me to find mine again.
It feels really good to have accomplished this. I know that most of you who read here that have come from myspace… know of this story. You have waited forever, so my accomplishment means that you get to see it through to fruition… and you get your (infamously referred to) ‘fix’… but for me it is more than that. As much as I am happy to share it, I wrote it for me. Myspace and blogging in general brought the writer out of me. I knew it was there all along, but now it is tangible.
151 pages tangible.
I am so proud of myself. Even if the world never accepts me and my writing, it is mine. I started it, owned it, and finished it. Me. Mine. No one can take that from me.
That is all I have for today.
Do you have anything that you have accomplished that has made you feel this way?
Please share it with me.
Tags: blogging, Californication, David Duchovny, inspiration, myspace, novel, pride, Submissive Confessions, writer, writing
