Winning is Everything
Mar 29, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Family, Friendship, Relationships, Wicked Wisdoms
I will preface this blog with the fact that, when dealing with difficult people who live to make your life a living hell… conscious or not… the end result is always to win. If that means I smile while cussing you out behind gritted teeth… Me being able to say “I Win!” is the only reason as to why I would.
I win. <– my mantra. My reason for doing more than half of the shit that I do not want to do.
Anyfuckingway.
I *gasp* have another completely hypothetical and generally specific friend to blog about today.
I know, I know. You were totally thrown off by this. Heh.
Anyway, this friend is not one of the 2 twitter-heads. Twitter-Dee and Twitter-Deny. We will call her Renee. She is a totally different friend with a completely and totally unrelated scenario that needs to be discussed.
She. Has. In-Laws. *insert blood-curdling scream here*
I swear to god. I have heard some stories in my day about the hell that has been created due to in-law drama. But my totally hypothetical friend’s situation is … unbearable.
It takes the cake on a daily… sometimes hourly basis.
The sad part about this generally specific situation is that for the longest time, she really tried to do right. It was all about perfection. Scheduling. Holidays. Family events to the point of nausiation. Seemingly enough, none of it was really ever good enough in any of her husbands families eyes.
The shittiest part about it is that it isn’t just her husbands parents. It is the siblings and the siblings significant others as well. No matter what she does, or what she says… there is an issue. A wrong found. A head shaken in her general direction.
I personally struggle with Renee’s daily situation. For those of you who know me, I live in a world of “Like it or fuck yourself.” My parents and in-laws have learned that I am pretty much going to say and be who I am going to be. I don’t give a flying fuck if it is acceptable. I am grown. I don’t live to anyone elses standards.
Period.
The reason I struggle is because her situation is not applicable to me. So, when we talk, hypothetically of course, it is a struggle to remain unruffled. I know that she, as much as she would like for it to be, doesn’t have the same set of in-laws that I do. Honestly, if I shared the same crazies that she did, I would have written them the fuck off a long time ago.
Where am I going with this? Glad you asked.
Renee is consistently forced into making the decision in whether or not to be the bigger person. It seems as if, though, no matter what she does… the fault falls back on to her shoulders. The heads still shake in her general direction. Noses are turned up and whispers behind backs.
For example, her sister-in-law may or may not have done something totally unspeakable to her for no reason. She may or may not have, without any regard for her totally hypothetical niece and nephew, lied to a government agency about the terms of her job, said some awful lies and almost caused her to not get her unemployment benefits.
Riiiiiight.
My completely hypothetical friend had to make the decision on whether or not to be the bigger person. Why? Because she may or may not have known about dirty little sister-in-law secrets.Things that may or may not totally fuck her over. Things that the S I L probably forgot she allowed out into shared air with my friend.
However, she needed to win. Spreading gossip usually doesn’t guarantee a win. Begrudgingly, and with many swear words, she chose to be the bigger person.
A round of applause is in order, because frankly, I don’t know if I could have been the bigger person. You fuck with my kids livelihood…. we got a problem. Mommy gangsta comes out in full affect.
So recently, for the hubs b-day, Renee coordinated a grown n sexy outing. Like it or not, she had to invite the totally hypothetical siblings. An idea was tossed out about ‘accidentally mistyping’ the email address. Whoops!
Genius, right? (Don’t even start with the notion that it was my idea.)
So it was tossed back and forth. I may or may not have encouraged it, but bottom line was that if she left the S I L out, she would never ever hear the end of it.
The bigger person emails the right one, and prays of a conflicting in schedules.
The beeyotch plain doesnt fucking invite her. And smiles about it.
She again chose the adult route. And she prayed to the heavens that the bitch had previously scheduled cunt work to do. (I may or may not have prayed too. Not gonna lie.) Of course she showed. And my hypothetical friend smiled appropriately. But I knew what the truth was. It was written in her eyes like the stars in the sky. (and she sent me a text about it. HAHA)
I am proud of her patience and awesome ability to juggle personalities. I say personalities only because the real Renee is the person that I see… and she screams at her when dealing with such events of chaotic drama to lash out and tell a bitch clean about herself… but the other Renee… the bigger one if you will, restrains her inner gangster.
I have learned from her daily in-law drama that you really have to be grateful for the things you have in your life. Because some people, like my hypothetical friend Renee, don’t have the same blessings that you do.
I bet if you asked her how she does it so flawlessly (and I wont put effortless here because a bitch knows for a fact how much effort is exuded), Renee would tell you that she hasnt a motherfucking clue.
Wicked Wisdom of the Day: At the end of the day, no matter what the cliche saying is used to describe how you did it… (i.e. killing them with kindness) being able to say “I WIN!” is worth every ounce of effort spent doing it.
Advice for Renee? (Keep in mind that this is 5+ years of dealings)
Do you have an in-law horror story to share? (This includes the siblings)
Tags: adult, bigger person, choices, decisions, drama, Family, Friendship, gossip, husband, in laws, love, marriage, mommy, morals, take the cake, win
Scenario-en: Hot For Teacher?
Jan 13, 2009 Current Events, Parenting, Sound Off/Debate
In your local area, a high school teacher is accused of sleeping with a student and is put on administrative leave. Months of trial come and go, and the end result is the following:
The teacher is found innocent and is granted all charges be dismissed from their record.
The teacher is allowed to continue teaching.
The judges reasoning behind the verdict is because the student was 18 years of age at the time of the encounter.
Initial reaction?
Does the fact that the student is not legally a minor matter? Why or why not?
In your opinion, has the teacher violated the law? Why or why not?
Sound off.
Tags: 18, hot for teacher, judge, law, minor, morals, student, teacher, van halen, victim, violate
Green Jello Surprise
Dec 25, 2008 Parenting, Random
Do you remember when you were a kid and you would wake up on Christmas morning and it was as if the tree vomited beautifully wrapped gifts out into the family room floor?
The immense buzz of not knowing exactly what is inside of each carefully wrapped present is indescribable.
I cannot remember a Christmas where I didn’t get at least 1 of my wishes sent in form of a Santa Letter. My grandparents did a great deal of the Santa’ing in our family being that we were financially strapped for most of my tweenage years. Regardless, I always remember being so grateful for what I received. It meant a lot that ‘Santa’ was listening, and in the long run, it meant that much more that Santa did not always come through with each and every want that I had.
As a kid I probably whined that I wanted this and that and only received this, but deep down I knew the reason why.
Life lessons are funny that way.
I look at the people in the world that have everything and for a split second I become a bowl of green jello, wishing that I could be them and have what they have. I imagine the things that I would do with the money in their checking accounts, and the balances on their American Express Cards… giving my kids the lavishest holidays imaginable.
Only for that split second though because the Today’s happen. The genuine gratitude from an 8 year old is something that I wish I could bottle up and prescribe to every single ungrateful snob I know. (I know too many ungrateful fucking snobs, I swear) Xavier did not get a single thing on his list because we 1) couldn’t afford it or 2) couldn’t find it and he was still absolutely elated. He beamed and hugged and thanked us for giving him the ‘best Christmas yet’. He got an Mp3 player with 200 songs already loaded on it, and he hasn’t taken the earbuds out of his ear all day.
That brings me back down from my envious pedestal in the clouds to certain reality. My kids are grounded. They don’t need extravagance. And I do not want to give it to them. I want them to remember Christmas as more than presents. I want them to give more than they receive. Because, that is what the holiday season is about to me. Even if that gift is as small as a compliment or sharing a special recipe or memory with someone who needs a smile. I constantly remind X about the feeling of good that comes with helping out someone less fortunate than we are. We have been the less fortunate before, and because of others believing in the spirit of giving we were able to get through some of the toughest times of our lives.
I hope that because of these moments, he will remain well rounded and appreciative of our firm stance on what we believe to be important.
I had a great Christmas. A relaxed day of great food and family. Being that D and I already spent our gift money on our date, there wasn’t much for us to open. To be honest, this is the first year that it truly did not matter to me. Call me all growed up, but all of the Christmas’s before… I really wanted something special for me under the tree.
Little did I know, there actually was something special. *grin*
I got a Flute for Christmas. An immaculate flute that has barely even ever been touched by the previous owner. I think I maybe mentioned it one time….. that I would love it to have the ability to play again… and there it was, under my tree. For me.
Maybe one day my CharliBear will take after her band geek mommy and I can pass it down to her. Until then, I will be practicing. I might even let those close to me hear me play again.
I am off to give D his belated Christmas present. A blow-job. Wrapped with a pretty pink lipgloss bow. 
What did you do for Christmas this year?
Did you have anything under the tree from Santa? (I dont want to hear ‘nothing special’ either.)
What charity do you most support? If you could do one thing for that charity, money and time being no object… what would that be? *Be creative peeps. *
Tags: band geek, elaborate affair, flute, green jello, immaculate, morals, mp3 player, music, Parenting, surprise
Moral Blindness vs. Moral Clarity
Sep 11, 2008 Sound Off/Debate
There you are, in the midst of the bustle of your business district. Same ol’ route, different day. The same uptight business woman is standing next to you in the same coffee shop where you order the same triple iced grande vanilla latte from one of the same 2 baristas just like every day. As you push through the finger smudged glass doors of the coffee shop, you glance down to see a crisp $100 bill gleaming up at you.
Do you drop your latte, in a fit of pure joy and pick that cell phone bill payment up? (obviously repurchasing the latte you spilled all over the pavement first)
Do you look around for the person who may have just realized they dropped the moo-lah; screaming “Who lost their money?” as you wave the crispy paper in the air for all to see?
Or, do you slyly reach down and snatch it quicker faster than a speeding bullet?
A package arrives on your doorstep. It has your name on it, so opening it would not be a federal crime. You were expecting something that you ordered, but not all of the things that were inside. Each little treasure something amazing within itself. Each trinket perfect in it’s own unique way. The devil on your shoulder is taunting you; whispering every single reason why you should keep them in your ear… while the angel on the other side reminds you why you should not.
Do you keep them?
Do you send them back to the store?
Do you attempt to contact the sender first?
Is it considered stealing if the sender made a mistake?
Finishing your workout, you notice a brand new mp3 player peeking out at you from under the treadmill next to the one you were using. It is so much prettier than yours. Flipping through, the song list is endless.
Do you turn it in or do you keep it?
Before you answer, really think about each scenario.
What are the similarities and differences?
What makes one more acceptable than the other?
Every day we are faced with moral tests. We are constantly in battle with what is socially acceptable and what is not. As kids, we are taught the difference between right and wrong, and then released into the wild with the basic life lessons… and expected to just figure it out.
I have been tested recently with similar scenarios. Did I make the right decision?
Wouldnt you like to know. *wink*
Lets just say that I made the right decision for me.
I think that each person faced with the same scenario has a slightly different set of moral goggles. Some are more clear than others. Some, blind their ability to make the right decisions. Then again, who is to decide ultimately on what the right decision really is? You? Me? God?
The world may never know the answer to that question.
All I know is that my moral goggles have different levels of blindness and clarity, depending on the desperation in my life in the moment that I have to put them on.
Tags: clarity, decisions, desperation, fate, karma, mine, morals, questions
