A Blog About Parents: “It Is What It Is”
Jun 29, 2009 Family, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Parenting, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
My parents weren’t go-out-and-do-shit parents. Meaning, you know how there are those one parents where every weekend they had this hike or that museum planned to go and do? Yeah. My parents weren’t those parents. For most of my youth, we were poor so it was hard to do stuff.
Looking back I could say that I wished that they were those parents. But I don’t. Not really. We have never really been ‘that family’. We did go and do things. The things we did do were fun times. So I like the fact that what we did meant something… because I think that, from the outside looking in … many of those families are not happy ones behind closed doors. Generally speaking anyway.
(Yes I am aware that this is not all cases and that there are those truly happy 50’s white picket fence chocolate chip cookies when you got home from school families.)
When I was really little my dad drove truck so he was gone during the week a lot of the time. I remember missing him a great deal, and I think that him being gone is the main reason why I was drawn to him the way that I was. I would wait and wait to see or hear his semi truck pull up outside and run as fast as my little feet could move me across the gravel into his bear-arms.
I have always thought that my dad was the coolest dad on the planet.
I remember this one time when he came home, he wanted to take me and my mom out to dinner. As promised, we went to dinner in his truck. When we got there, he came around to get me out of the passenger side. I was so small then; the length of the step from the truck to the bottom step seemed a mile long. I blindly, and in an excited hurry grabbed the steam/exhaust pipe instead of the handle.
I can still feel the pain on the palm of my hand when I think about it to this day.
I screamed and cried as he rescued me and rushed me into the restaurant where I promptly placed my hand in a big glass of ice water. He sat right next to me and told me jokes to try and make me forget about the burn.
“How about I punch you in the other arm. You won’t feel your hand then.”
We used to wrestle.
He used to give me “Monkey Bumps” cause he thought that shit was funny.
He helped me with my math homework. I really suck at math.
He likes to sing. He has a pretty good voice.
He tried to get me to golf. I sucked.
My dad taught me how to drive.
He made me walk to the store when I got my period to buy tampons.
We fish. A lot less than I would like, but…
As I grew into into me, only a hormonal teenager, we began to beef on a daily basis. I don’t know where the rift began, but I know where it ended: When I moved out. He and I are so much alike that it is frightening. Our strong personalities under one roof with one of them being an authoritative figure was like mixing oil and water.
I pushed, he pushed harder. I yelled, he yelled louder. I slammed doors, he slammed harder. But when push came to shove, I knew that he loved me. Maybe that is why I pushed so hard. Maybe … that is why he pushed back that much harder.
Would I change it? Nah. I think that all of the tumultiousness that was our father daughter relationship made us that much more awesome today. He has put up with a great deal of shit with me and my wanting-to-do-it-the-hard-way every time.
When I enlisted in the Navy, and actually followed through with leaving for boot camp,and then tech school… and then a ship… I think that he realized that there was something within me that I actually took away from the things he used to preach to me as a kid. When I returned home, and saw him for the first time, wrapped in his bear-arms again, I truly felt like a little girl again and I remembered that I loved him. We just kinda fell into something pretty great from that moment.
But it wasn’t perfect. *I* wasn’t that great of a daughter all of the time.
I got married before D and didn’t tell my parents until afterward. My selfish ass didn’t consider that maybe my dad wanted to walk me down the isle.
I got my dad fired from Metro. (I didnt know at the time) He had bags of bus fare in his room to turn in, and I stole so.much.change. What I didn’t know, is that he almost faced criminal charges for it. (I later found this out after jokingly telling him that I was the one who stole the change)
The cops were called to my house several times. Because of my fight instigation.
I am pretty sure that I told my dad that I hated him angrily… one time too many.
Above all, my dad has always embraced me for me. He has expressed his thoughts as to who he thought that I should become, but understood (after some adjustment) and accepted who I chose to be and how I chose to live my life and conduct my business. I think that I can say that he is proud of me.
But most importantly, my dad is an honest man. He treats my mom with the utmost respect. My dad (thinks he) is funny. He lives life with an “it is what it is” motto. He isn’t perfect, but he always stands up for what is right and what he believes in. I may not like it at the time… but that doesn’t matter. I know when I call him and I ask him for his advice, he is gonna give it to me. No sugar coating. No bullshit. None of it.
And that is more than I can say for most people in the world.
What kind of relationship do you have with the dad in your life?
Have you ever done something that made your dad burst with pride?
What is the worst thing you ever did as a teen/kid and got busted for?
Tags: adolesence. mom, dad, daughter, father, fight, love, mom, mom and dad, Parenting, respect, teenager
2-Mommy, 0-Sneaky Kid
Sep 9, 2008 Parenting
I love being a parent. I really love watching my kids learn and grow to be these functioning members of society. To know that because of my guidance, my kids will make the right decisions most of the time is beyond rewarding. But with any job, the added perks make it that much more rewarding to put forth the 110% effort into.
Wait, what?? There are added perks to parenting? Of course there are! Any seasoned parent knows that beyond the reward of your child’s successes comes the perk of catching them in the act of something sneaky. Bottom line, children are intelligent little shits. They, just like most of us adults, revel in pulling something off.
Even the littlest defeat is a win for the child. Unless, they are caught off guard.
*insert doom-filled parent music*
Case-In-Point:
Rewind to yesterday. Mommy (me) had to take the day off to car shop because of the stolen vehicle incident left over from the weekend. It took longer than anticipated to get our asses out of the house (thanks Charli) so Mommy and Dad decided to go and surprise Xavier at school to get him out a couple of hours early. That way we didnt have to risk him being home alone if we were not finished as quickly as we would have liked.
So we roll into the office and have him sent down from class. The first thing I noticed was the fact that he was not wearing the brand new Nike’s that Dad had bought for him for his birthday. He was wearing some random pair of Jordans that didn’t even match with what he was wearing.
Me: “Who’s shoes are those?”
X: “Anthony’s.” (his best friend)
Me: “Oooooh. You are so busted.”
X: “Are you gonna tell dad?”
Me: “No. You are.”
X: “But, Uh, I trust Anthony to take care of my shoes so we traded.”
Me: “Save it for Dad.”
We head out to the truck with X’s head low and my smile beaming. I was stoked to have caught his ass in the act; totally off guard and just plain busted. I could see his brain moving, trying to come up with the best reason possible to have needed to trade his new shoes for his friends. Little did he know that his excuses didnt matter. His plan to switch shoes on the bus, and act like nothing ever happened was spoiled. Even better was the fact that his partner in crime had no idea that X was gone for the day. So not only was Xavier busted, but I was almost positive that his parents would not appreciate this sneaky shoe trade plan either.
Obviously, the very first thing D noticed was the shoes. All X could muster as an explination was that he “trusted” his friend to take care of them. D interrogated and grilled like he always does, sending X deeper and deeper into the hole he dug with his excuses. Finally, after an “I’m disappointed in you” comment from his dad, he just put the verbal shovel down and gave in to his being wrong. (and, being just like his mother, I am positive it was one of the most difficult things he ever had to do.) I can only imagine how his bff felt when he was frantically looking for X at the bus stop, attempting to trade back shoes before he had to go home as previously planned.
And, just as I predicted, we received a knock on the door shortly after we got home. BFF’s mom was just as pleased as we were to see her kid wearing someone elses shoes. He didn’t have time to react either, being that she was home to greet him at the door to his surprise.
2- Mommy, 0-Sneaky boys.
It is these small victories that make being a parent so worth every minute.
Are you a parent? Do you have any of these little triumphant victories to share?
Do you remember being a kid, and being totally busted by your parent like this? Share those too!
Tags: best friends, excuses, kids, lies, mom and dad, Nike's, plans, surprise
