Guess What’s Back … Back Again? Pillow Talk … Tell a Friend
Feb 7, 2010 Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, pillow talk
Happy Monday! Guess who won the Superbowl? Psh like I give a fauxck.
I have had some emails wondering why there have been no Pillow Talk blogs as of late. Not to be a sarcastic cunt or anything but I guess I am wondering how Pillow Talk would be possible when the person (D) on the other pillow is not around to share a conversation with.
Just saying.
So, for your enjoyment, here are some recent conversation between the infamous D and myself.
(This convo took place after last weekend’s shenanigans where some random douchebag thought my name was Nicole … and all of my LOVELY friends played into it by screaming “NIKKI” as I attempted to drunkenly convince him that my name was NOT in fact Nicole or Nikki)
D: “Whatever Nikki.”
Me: “You must want to get stabbed.”
D: “I must admit, you could pull off Nikki if you really wanted to.”
Me: “Is that right?”
D: “Yeah. I mean, Nikki is a slutty name. And well … you are kinda slutty.”
Me: (Pondering)
D: “And, I mean Nikki is a bitchy name too. Like ‘I cant STAND that bitch Nikki.”
Me: “You just have it all figured out, don’t you?”
D: “Hey. I am not the one who thought your name was Nikki. I am just saying. If the slutty shoe fits… call her Nikki.”
Me: “I am going to murder you.”
Approximately 10 minutes later…
Me: “You have to wake me up at 7:30 tomorrow.”
D: “What am I, your personal alarm clock?”
Me: “You are my personal more than that and you know it.”
D: “Psh.”
Me: “Mmmmmhm. That is why you answered like that. Cause you know.”
Me: “7:30. Alright? And you better wake me up nicely.”
D: “I know how I am gonna wake you up. HehHehHeh.”
Me: “NO! I am NOT A MORNING PERSON GOD DAMNIT!”
D: “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
Me: “Really? Have we just met?”
D: “What I was GONNA say was I would just wake Charli up early and let HER deal with your non-morning person ass.”
Me: “That would be stupid on your part.”
D: “Why?”
Me: “Because she isn’t a morning person either and I will be getting ready for work, so you will have to deal with her bratty ass.”
D: “Fuuuuck.”
Me: “Yep. Better stick to just waking me up nicely.”
D: “Thisdick.”
Me: “You are a 6th grader.”
D: “Deeeeeeznuttts.”
Me: “I often find myself questioning why I even talk to you.”
Because he takes care of me so well when I am sick…
Me: “I feel like shit right now. My throat and ears feel like sandpaper on the inside.”
D: (smirking)
Me: “I wish I could shove my hands down my throat and scratch them. Blah!”
D: “I think I might have a cure for that itch.”
Me: “Idontwantit.”
D: “I am just trying to help you scratch the deepest parts of your throat baby.”
Me: “I swear to Christ I hate you.”
D: “Why such hatred? Here I am fixing the problem and you are so ungrateful.”
Me: “Whatever.”
D: “Fine. Don’t come crying to me when your throat still itches. That is, unless you have made the decision to allow me to *ahem* scratch that itch.”
Me: “Idontwantit!”
D: “Such ungratefulness these days.”
Would you rather fight Mike Tyson, or permanently talk like him?
If you had to assassinate one famous person still living, who would it be and how would you do it?
Tags: love, marriage, mike tyson, pillow talk, superbowl
Meant to Be … ?
Jan 31, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
I was in a conversation with one of my girlfriends the other night about Meant to Be.
Does it exist?
Are we all pawns in fate’s chess game?
Any one of you who knows me already know what I think. I am a firm believer in karma and fate and all things happen for a reason. That if you are thrown under a bus (figuratively of course … this isn’t some Final Destination deal people) in life … you were thrown there because it is supposed to teach you something.
Which is why I tend to take the realist approach when it comes to life and relationships. When I say relationships, that means every single kind of relationship. Not just romantic ones. In my opinion, we are all in each others lives to serve a purpose. It may be a forever purpose or it may only be a 5 week long purpose. No matter the length of time, there is a lesson in the relationship that was formed.
For example, if D and I were to part ways at some point in the future … for whatever reason, as heartbreaking as it would be for me to let him go … I would remind myself all of the lessons that we taught each other in the time that we shared together. Strength, persistence, dedication, patience … true unconditional love … all of them.
Our time together, be it 10 years or forever was meant to be that way.
It is hard trying to help someone see this who has blinders on. Blinders make normally grown, mature folks do stupid shit. It is what it is, but if we all could just remove them and really look at the situation at hand … we would realize exactly what steps to take to make the right decisions. Not necessarily meaning that if we took them off that we would know the duration of time that relationship was going to be for … because really knowing that is like simply leaving all of the presents under the Christmas tree unwrapped every year.
I am more or less saying that if we all just wrapped our head around the fact that it may or may not end tomorrow … and embraced that relationships for exactly what they are in that moment … we might hurt less and love more. Because in all honesty, if I was unsure that I would wake up tomorrow and not have any of my most important relationships anymore … I would be more apt to embrace them that much harder.
It hurts to watch someone I love misunderstand things. What hurts even more is when I try and offer my wisdom and it goes in one ear and out the other. I should know better though, right? I am the first person to admit that in any given situation, if I am going to learn anything from it … I absolutely have to learn the hard way. It is like written in blood somewhere. I never listen.
So why in the hell would I expect anyone else to listen to me? *grin*
If you are over thinking, over analyzing, reading into every single little “sign” about a current relationship with another person …. no matter what kind of relationship it is … knock it off. Wouldn’t you feel like an asshole if you spent all of the time you could have been spending immersed with them … worried about making sure it didn’t end?
I know I would.
Just some Wicked food for thought. Happy Monday!
Any thoughts on the subject? Any personal experiences?
Do you believe in “Meant to Be?”
Oh … and …
Would you rather be mechanically induced to scream at the top of your lungs for an hour, OR
have your eyes glued shut for a day?
Tags: fate, kismet, love, meant to be, Relationships
Weekend Poetry: Raw Passion
Jan 9, 2010 Creative Writing/Poetry, Masturbate-able, Sex
sex me.
my toes
nose to nose
no clothes
rapture shows
every breath
I moan…
shallow groan
mind blown
love unknown
unspoken adoration.
speechless joy
girl n’ boy
human toy
together enjoy
raw passion.
Click the link to check out my other Weekend Poetry posts!
For That, I am Grateful: 1
Dec 29, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Family, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, P.O.E. Biz, Parenting, Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
After long and hard contemplation, I have decided to steal this kick ass blog idea from my souliest sister in the whole wide world. It is about to be a New Year … and I can’t think of a better way to end my year in blogging by talking about the things that make me grateful.
She is doing 26 Days of Gratefulness. Each day represents a letter filled with things that she is eternally grateful for. Of course more than half of these days made me cry like a fucking baby because that is what the hell I do when there is anything mush or moosh involved in it. But when she does it … it hits me even harder. (I will get to her later.)
Since I am late to the game, mine will be broken in 2. Wanna hear it hear it goes.
*deepoverlyemotionalbreath*
A is for Awesomeness. I am grateful that I have discovered and have embraced my own Awesomeness. For one, because it is Awesome to own your Awesomeness … but more importantly, it is Awesome to show others that they are in fact Awesome. And to help another Awesome human being to embrace their own Awesomeness … is … well … Awesome in it’s own right.
B is for Breath. Being able to stop to catch my own. It is also for Babysitters. The one that I stumbled upon in my time of need has been a fucking life saver. Even in her own time of crisis, she stood by me and made sure that no matter what I was able to focus on what I needed to do for my family to survive without worrying about my kids’ well being. She has become not only my Babysitter, but one of my Best friends. B is also for Book. Because in 2009, I published mine. I am so proud of my accomplishment. I started it. I finished it. It is quality. It is mine. My creation. If nothing else ever comes of it other than my Lulu self publishing endeavor … I will still see myself as a success. Would I love to be on the Bestseller’s list? Duh. B is for Blogging. I have no clue what I would do if I didn’t have my Blog space.
C is for Courtni. Yep. I am grateful for me. This year has been a roller coaster, but I have been able to do a lot of good for myself and my family. I lost 30 pounds. I started a kick ass SUCCESSFUL blog site with the help of my Numbah 1. I took a risk by starting this job … but am already seeing the potential successes. Courtni is a stronger woman than she has ever been. She loves herself for the first time ever 100%. Flaws, strengths… all of it. So then really, C is also for Confidence.
D is for D. His absence right now sucks, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love him so much that it hurts. He is an amazing dad. He takes care of me, puts up with me, listens to my endless fucking ranting and loves me unconditionally. Flaws and all. When I cry he knows when and when not to leave me alone. When I just feel like being a bitch … he lets me. (Even if that means ignoring me completely) When I need to be held or loved or smacked around a little (I am kidding) or even told about myself, he just knows. D is my polar opposite. I yell, he just talks. I over analyze, he thinks things through. I freak out, he rationalizes. When we make love it is Dynamic. When we fuck … it is Dirty. He knows which one is the right one. As much as I am his rock, he is mine. Which would make sense as to why we have been together a Decade.
E is for Elasticity. I have gained this quality in the past 48 days. When a bitch gets knocked down, there is no other option other than to bounce back. It is for Energy (the positive kind.) I have had (for the most part) an abundance of it around me over the past 2 months. My new found family especially. E is also for Ears. Without them, I would have had no one to listen to me yell. And I have done my fair fucking share of yelling.
F is for Friendship. I have gone from no Friends to many Friends. True, ride or die fucking Friends. Friends who will give their last slice of bread to my Family if we were hungry. Or at least split it in half. Coming from a childhood where I moved every single year from 4th grade to 9th grade … I didn’t really have many Friends that I knew were real. The ones who I have managed to hold on to for dear life, I am grateful for each of you. Lisa, Jennifer, Stephanie, Rachael, Tweed, Kim1&2, Lirra … even though we don’t always talk or kick it, I am beyond grateful that I have a piece of my past with you. I don’t know if I have ever told any of you how important it is to me that we have managed to keep in touch over the many many years. Friendship is the most important thing to me besides my Family. To me, they go hand in hand. If you are my true Friend … you are my Family. Plain and simple. Food is a big F for me. I heart me some food. All kinds. F is also for Fate. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
G is for Goals. I have set lofty ones for 2010. I am going to achieve all of them. Come hell or high water.
H is for Home. It is for Health. It is for Happiness. H is for Honor. It is for Heart. I am grateful that I have been blessed with life lessons to know and understand what each and every one of these mean and own each of them. I will be working on the Health and the Happiness more this next year … but I am almost there. Closer than I have ever been. That feels awesome.
I is for Insecurities. Yes. I am grateful for my Insecurities because that means that I am human. I is also for Internet. If there was no Internet, I would never have met my soul sisters. I would never have been able to purge my soul for all of you. I is also for Ice cream. Because sometimes, every single problem can be solved with a big fat bowl of Ice cream.
J is for Job. Why? Because for the first time in years I have a Job that I absolutely love. Who has a Job that they have a fucking blast at 97% of the time? I am grateful for my Job and (almost) everyone that I work with there.
K is for Karma. I believe in it. You fuck me, Karma is going to fuck you harder. K is for kids. MY KIDS. Bad, good … bratty, not bratty. I love them. They are the reason I endure all of the chaos. I cannot describe in a blog the depth of love that I have for my kids. My heart swells on a daily basis as I watch them grow and learn and experience … and become these amazing little creatures. My creatures. My creations. I don’t know where I would be without either of them in my life. Also, K is for Kisses. Not the chocolate kind. The sensual, lovey, frenchy kind. Ask me the last time I have been Kissed. G’head. I remember thinking shortly before D left that it felt like we didn’t Kiss enough. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Kisses. Gimme em.
L is for Love. Long Lasting Love. I Love Love. The idea of someone falling in Love with another person gets me all warm and tingly. To put it simply, I am in Love with Love. L is for Letters. I have received letters in the mail recently due to circumstances and they have kept me sane. I also think that L is for Longevity. Longevity in relationships, health, career … and Life. Because, L is also for Life. I am grateful for the Life I have been blessed with.
M is for Many Many Things. Music. Masturbation. Mommy’s. Motivation. Mayer. Martini. Marilyn Monroe. The most important thing? Music. Music saves me. If I need to be happy? Music. If I need a good cry? Music. If I need some panty dropping? Muuuuuuuusic. I need it in my life daily. Portishead. Natalie Merchant. Snoop. John Mayer. Poison. Alicia Keys. Elton John. Journey. Outkast. Sade. Aaliyah. John Legend. It all affects me the same but for different reasons.
List your A-M’s of gratefulness today. Take some time and remember what good we have been blessed with.
Tags: alicia keys, elton john, john legend, john mayer, journey, love, natalie merchant, outkast, poison, portishead, sade, snoop, www.squishisms.com
Weekend Poetry: Love, Always
Dec 19, 2009 Creative Writing/Poetry, Masturbate-able, Sex, love
the pungent taste on your lips
creates a fire between my hips
in my panties your finger slips
creating butterflies; my stomach flips
with each tender touch my nectar drips
whether in silence or clever quips
our love replays in my mind like movie clips
i love you always, not in fragmented snips.
Decisions… Decisions…
Dec 14, 2009 DUH, Etc., Friendship, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, P.O.E. Biz, Thoughts and Perceptions
Happy Motherfucking Monday. How was your weekend? Mine was … interesting to say the least.
This weekend got me thinking about how much of an impact 1 simple decision can have on everything you do.
Example:
My decision to not deal with D being gone. I made an unconscious decision to just fucking ignore it.
When I got there, it hit me. I haven’t missed someone so much in my whole life like I missed him on Friday night. My right side was vacant. My heart was heavy. I tried my damnedest to play it off but seeing everyone with their significant others stung. With each sting … I made the decision to drink more.
Before I knew it …
I acted like an asshole. I drank too much. I cried like a little girl. I got cut off at the bar for the first time in my whole life. I broke a glass. I forgot a lot of the evenings events. I then made a decision to drive home which then led me to the decision to pull over in some random parking lot and pass out.
Right?!
This decision also led to people worrying about me and that makes me sad. I am not the irresponsible one. Anyway, I woke up on Saturday and wanted to crawl into a hole and just disappear from the world.
What did I say? Who did I say it to? Did I do anything overly embarrassing?
Ahhh… decisions, decisions.
We all make decisions to or not to do things.
Do I make the decision to punch that new work bitch in her face?
Do I make the decision to eat that cheeseburger that I really want to eat?
Do I make the decision to … do that … ?
Because of one bad decision … It dominoed into all of that chaos above. So, now … I have decided to make the decision to stop acting like I am tough all of the time. Because apparently, I am not. I am making the decision to deal with it and not push it out of my mind anymore. Because the next bullshit that happens will be way worse. I know me. That whole business told me about myself.
So. Yeah. As always, I learn the motherfucking hard way.
Have you made any bad decisions lately? How have they affected everything else in your life?
If you could go back and change one decision … one that affected everything in your life … would you? Why or why not?
Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride
Dec 6, 2009 Creative Writing/Poetry, Random, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
I have never thought that life is like a box of chocolates. Nope. I have always compared life as one big roller coaster.
At times, life has climaxes that send you to heights that you never ever thought you could reach. The highs are exhilarating. Sometimes, life shoots you to the very top so fast that you don’t even know what hit you. All of a sudden, your eyes are closed… and the next thing you know you are staring down at the world.
I love that feeling.
When I am up there, soaring above the world, tightly fastened in … I scream with delight; my hands stretched as far up above my head as they could possibly be.
Breathless. That moment takes the breath away from me.
Do you ever notice that the moment is short lived? That, no matter how good it feels to be up above the rest of the world on the high of all highs … we never stay? The reality is that at some point, we are destined to descend. As the ride comes to it’s end, all we can do is close your eyes, savor the passing moment and hope that the next time will just like every other time we gave the ticket collector our ticket.
Still alive with wobbly legs and a speedy heartbeat.
We are gluttons for punishment. Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. We know that the valley sucks. We know that it is coming. There is no avoiding the end. Yet we go. We buy the tickets, and brace ourselves for the climax.
Some roller coasters are bumpier than others. Some are quick and painless. Some leave us scratching our heads, wondering why in the fuck we even bothered. I wonder when I will finally be done seeking out that rush.
Actually, I am already done. I want off this roller coaster.
For once I would really like to just keep my fucking feet flat on the ground.
What about you?
What 3 things do you do every single day?
What 3 things annoy you most?
What 3 things must you do before you die?
Tags: life, love, rollercoaster
I Need to Have The Sex
Nov 30, 2009 Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions
What in the fuck am I going to do. It has only been 17 days. Of 90. You do the math.
Here I am. An overly sexual person. Stripped of the sexual. Now I am an overly FRUSTRATED person. I was having a conversation with someone about masturbation. Diddling if you will. How all in all, masturbation gets old. The response was that I must not be picturing the right individual while handling business.
The truth? Diddling is awesome. But human contact is better.
The touching. The skin to skin contact. The gelling of 2 bodies. The penetration. (Yep. I said it. The motherfucking penetration.) The sweaty smell of sex between 2 people. The kissing and kissing and kissing. Did I mention the kissing? I love to kiss. It is hands down THE ultimate deal breaker for me. If you are a horrible kisser, then we will never get to the rest. Ever.
I can’t kiss myself, ya know? I mean … If I could … I would. I am a great kisser. Heh.
What in the shit am I going to do for the next 73 days? That is a great deal of touching myself. 73 days. SEVENTY THREE DAYS. Is it wrong that I want to find a poor son of a bitch to use for physical needs only? Sex is only sex, right?!
Fine. FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. So I won’t do it.
All I am saying is that it is absolutely unfair taking the sex away from me. It is like taking the gingerbread out of the man. Or the chocolate out of the chip. Or the candy out of the cane. And it is only going to get worse. *I* am only going to get worse.
Unfair is unfair. That is all I have to say about that.
Fin.
What is the longest you have ever gone without sex?
What is your favorite sexual position?
Tags: casual sex, diddling., love, making love, masturbation, Relationships, Sex
If You Think You’re Lonely Now
Nov 25, 2009 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Random, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
It is hilarious the games couples play.
Even if you don’t want to admit you are said couple… (you know “we are just fucking”…. *yawn*) you are. When you engage in an intimate act, something is formed, that is, unless you don’t remember the person’s name, or what exactly happened because you vaguely remember someone in your bed the night before… and, shockingly… you wake up alone instead.
Yeah, not those instances.
I am more referring to those who are frequently engaging in “ass” with another person. Or people. Whatever. I have done it, and I have witnessed so many other (women specifically) doing it as well.
Example:
“I am going out with the boys.” He says timidly, trying to sound confident in his statement.
“Um, I thought we would snuggle together, watch a movie tonight, and more.” Her voice hinting the decision she thinks he should make.
“It is Mikes last time out as a single man, so we are celebrating. I will be home early.”
“Fine.”
“Are you mad?”
“No.”
“I can stay if you want me to…”
“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Okay, see you later.”
“You aren’t getting any tonight. So don’t come home expecting anything.”
We have ALL been here on one side or another.
One of 3 things are going to happen. You pick the most likely.
a) He cheats, which he was probably going to do anyway… but given the fact that his broad was being a CUNT with a capital C before he left… it is now something he is actively seeking to do.
b) She gives up the ass anyway. This is a HORRIBLE option, because now she has opened the door to inconsistencies, and which will make for him never taking any of her threats seriously. (because there are certain situations where this is a viable and necessary threat to make)
3) He is a pussy and doesn’t cheat… and comes home early with his tail between his legs… which in the spectrum of pussy games is a TOTAL turn on to her… but she is stubborn doesn’t give up the butt anyway.
In my experience in my own relationships, 3 has been the option I have stuck with. That is because I am a stubborn bitch, and I would rather be right than give us both something we want. In my experience in observing relationships… B is the most picked option.
That. Shit. Pisses. Me. Off.
Don’t say “no sex in the champagne room” for the sake of saying it. Don’t use that as an incentive for your significant to want to stay home. Especially don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I am sticking with the fact that most often it is the broad making the threat, not to stereotype… but because in my observations… bitches are inconsistent.
You make me look bad. You make bitches like ME look bad. Don’t make me come to your motherfucking house and slap the everloving shit out of you. I will do it.
Ladies, it isn’t right. You know that fact as well as I do. We all know that you want your man to come home and put in our pooter regardless of if he made you raging mad. Sex is sex. Angry sex is fanfuckingtastic, and furthermore, you all know that him coming home to you is all you really want. He is gonna have his boy time. You pushing him to spite-fuck another bitch is not worth all of the drama.
So don’t. Stop. Knock it the fuck off already.
Figure your man out. Know the right buttons to push. Try a little reverse psychology.
Instead of: “If you think you’re lonely now… wait until tonight”
Try this instead: “Have a great time baby, I love you… and I will be waiting for you to come home to me.”
And. Be. Waiting. Naked. In his favorite panties. In socks. In a nighty. On the couch. Whatever.
For god’s sake, give him some ass already. The whole world will fucking benefit. And when I say “benefit” I mean take the ratio of noassgettingdouchebagsinmyfaceeverydaywiththeirnogameandsmallcocks down a notch or 10.
My name is Wicked Game, and I approve this message.
What flaw makes you perfect?
What imperfection do you love most about yourself?
And, In a perfect world…..??? (finish the sentence)
Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s: Gentlemen
Nov 10, 2009 DUH, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sex, Whatever Happened to? Wednesdays, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Welcome to “Whatever Happened to Wednesday’s”!
Today we are gonna talk about gentleman … or lack thereof …
Definition of Gentleman: A well-mannered and considerate man with high standards of proper behavior.
Proper behavior does not consist of the following:
Ass smacking, grabbing, or touching of any kind in a public setting. Especially when that public setting is not of a social nature. Even more especially if it is not asked for.
Referring to a lady as a bitch, slut, skank, ma, breezy, piece of ass.
Ditching a lady after making plans. (And when I say ditching, I mean lying and saying you aren’t feeling well so that you can really go out the bar with your boys.)
Attempting to show out in front of others by not so subtly disrespecting her in front of others to look cool. (i.e. panty swinging or ass grabbing)
Staking claim on a lady (“Get away from my woman” “Leave my woman alone” “That is my woman.”) when she is in fact NOT yours to stake claim upon. i.e. pee all over.
Forgetting to compliment a lady just because she is confident within her own skin. Ladies deserve frequent compliments on their awesome beauty on a regular basis.
Flirting with another lady in front of the lady you are courting.
Talking about your ex. A gentleman picks the right conversation to have ONE TIME about said ex. Not EVERY conversation unless the lady brings it up.
Proper behavior DOES IN FACT INCLUDE the following:
Opening a door for a lady. NOT waiting for HER to open it for YOU.
Walking side by side with her, not trying to out walk her or lag behind to grab her ass or even stare at it. ON PURPOSE.
Being a MAN of your word.
Paying for dinner, even when she tries to insist that she has got it.
Asking a lady out on a proper date. Not dinner at her house, with sex the ultimate motivation for the dinner suggested.
Bringing a lady flowers, or some other inexpensive and thoughtful gesture (i.e. love note, favorite chocolate or bottle of wine) on said date and not because you are in trouble.
Appreciating sex, not expecting sex and having the sex be the entire premise of every conversation that you have with a lady.
Just motherfucking saying.
What’s your most annoying habit?
What are your favorite sayings?
Do you talk to yourself?
Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
