Decisions… Decisions…
Dec 14, 2009 DUH, Etc., Friendship, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, P.O.E. Biz, Thoughts and Perceptions
Happy Motherfucking Monday. How was your weekend? Mine was … interesting to say the least.
This weekend got me thinking about how much of an impact 1 simple decision can have on everything you do.
Example:
My decision to not deal with D being gone. I made an unconscious decision to just fucking ignore it.
When I got there, it hit me. I haven’t missed someone so much in my whole life like I missed him on Friday night. My right side was vacant. My heart was heavy. I tried my damnedest to play it off but seeing everyone with their significant others stung. With each sting … I made the decision to drink more.
Before I knew it …
I acted like an asshole. I drank too much. I cried like a little girl. I got cut off at the bar for the first time in my whole life. I broke a glass. I forgot a lot of the evenings events. I then made a decision to drive home which then led me to the decision to pull over in some random parking lot and pass out.
Right?!
This decision also led to people worrying about me and that makes me sad. I am not the irresponsible one. Anyway, I woke up on Saturday and wanted to crawl into a hole and just disappear from the world.
What did I say? Who did I say it to? Did I do anything overly embarrassing?
Ahhh… decisions, decisions.
We all make decisions to or not to do things.
Do I make the decision to punch that new work bitch in her face?
Do I make the decision to eat that cheeseburger that I really want to eat?
Do I make the decision to … do that … ?
Because of one bad decision … It dominoed into all of that chaos above. So, now … I have decided to make the decision to stop acting like I am tough all of the time. Because apparently, I am not. I am making the decision to deal with it and not push it out of my mind anymore. Because the next bullshit that happens will be way worse. I know me. That whole business told me about myself.
So. Yeah. As always, I learn the motherfucking hard way.
Have you made any bad decisions lately? How have they affected everything else in your life?
If you could go back and change one decision … one that affected everything in your life … would you? Why or why not?
Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride
Dec 6, 2009 Creative Writing/Poetry, Random, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
I have never thought that life is like a box of chocolates. Nope. I have always compared life as one big roller coaster.
At times, life has climaxes that send you to heights that you never ever thought you could reach. The highs are exhilarating. Sometimes, life shoots you to the very top so fast that you don’t even know what hit you. All of a sudden, your eyes are closed… and the next thing you know you are staring down at the world.
I love that feeling.
When I am up there, soaring above the world, tightly fastened in … I scream with delight; my hands stretched as far up above my head as they could possibly be.
Breathless. That moment takes the breath away from me.
Do you ever notice that the moment is short lived? That, no matter how good it feels to be up above the rest of the world on the high of all highs … we never stay? The reality is that at some point, we are destined to descend. As the ride comes to it’s end, all we can do is close your eyes, savor the passing moment and hope that the next time will just like every other time we gave the ticket collector our ticket.
Still alive with wobbly legs and a speedy heartbeat.
We are gluttons for punishment. Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. We know that the valley sucks. We know that it is coming. There is no avoiding the end. Yet we go. We buy the tickets, and brace ourselves for the climax.
Some roller coasters are bumpier than others. Some are quick and painless. Some leave us scratching our heads, wondering why in the fuck we even bothered. I wonder when I will finally be done seeking out that rush.
Actually, I am already done. I want off this roller coaster.
For once I would really like to just keep my fucking feet flat on the ground.
What about you?
What 3 things do you do every single day?
What 3 things annoy you most?
What 3 things must you do before you die?
Tags: life, love, rollercoaster
