Life To-do’s … or Tada!’s
Aug 23, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Family, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Parenting, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, Wicked Wisdoms
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Just when you think you know how to tackle life, another curveball gets pitched in your face.
Ever been on the shit end of the curve-ball-in-the-face stick? If you haven’t… I am jealous.
Overall I would say that this summer has been one of the best to date. I dropped summer quarter due to vehicle issues, and in the long run, it was the best decision that I could have possibly made. It has allowed me time with my best friends, my kids and my husband. As hard as I try to remain happy, there is this feeling of unsettling blue-ness all around me.
It seems like even if I am not specifically on the shit end of the stick … I still catch a good deal of the ouch that happens upon contact. Not that it bothers me or anything … you know … to in a way absorb even just a smidgen of someone else’s angst. Because it doesn’t. I think it is more of a draining feeling to consistently feel like you are surrounded by negative energy.
Is it just me?
Is it the effect of the economy and the State of the Union?
I feel like we are all tiptoeing. On the fragilest of eggshells. Afraid that one look in the wrong direction might just be the cause of the next major riot or government overthrow.
I feel like we are getting dumber by the millisecond. Dumber and more callus and so so drone-ish to everything that is going on around us. The REAL reality television. You know like how there is civil war happening in other countries, and maybe how our troops are smack dab in the middle of complete unrest?
So, instead of bitching about it, I think I will do my best to bring happy back to my corner of the world.
“Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.” – Burton Hills
Wicked’s To-Do List to reach ultimate Wicked happiness:
1) I have been missing the gym. A great deal. Like a long lost fuck buddy with an extremely big penis.
I think it is time to re-pack my gym bag and start going at lunch. I know that even 30 minutes of exercise every day will make me feel better.
2) More frequent masturbation. I don’t know what I have been distracted by, but just within the last 48 hours, I have had my fair share of bean flicking and can tell a significant difference in my mood. Whoever thought masturbation wasn’t an essential part of day to day happiness… was a damn fool.
3) More frequent blow-jobs. I really enjoy getting … but I reeeeeeeeeally enjoy giving.
4) Reconnect with my poetic side. I cannot remember the last time I was able to make a masterpiece poetically. Even if I just start doing flow-storms. Something to get my head back there. I miss poems.
5) More regular pedicures with my Charli-bear.
6) Deleting people from my life that are toxic and in no way a healthy addition.
7) Telling people when they make me sad rather than keeping it inside. Also telling them that I love them too… so it balances.
Laugh more.
9) Continue to stand up for my friends. No matter what others think of my doing so.
10) Always remind myself how beautiful I am. Not just on the outside. No matter what, I am a good person.
Lastly, 11) Remember to tell Xavier all of things about him that I love. So he doesn’t remember me as the mom who just bitched at him. (Isn’t this a kick ass picture)
I hope that me writing it out, I can refocus and get back to where I love to be: Happy as a clam and sharing joy with those who I love most. With that said, have a great Monday and thanks for reading. I now have something to reference back to. 
Do you have a ToDo List that you can refer back to … to bring you back to happy? (That is if you arent already there)
Tags: Friendship, gym, laugh, love, pedicure, poetry, to-do list, toxic
Embarassing Moments in the Sack.
Nov 7, 2008 Random, Relationships, Sex
I am crazy, but I am going to put myself out there in hopes that you will too. And to gain interesting and humorous conversation. Heh.
Scared?
I was IM’ing with Q this morning and we were discussing things that have happened to us during sex… that were embarassing. The specific topic was BJ embarassment. Having been married for going on 10 years, strange shit has happened on several occasions between D and I, so I am not freaked out easily by random happenings.
So far I have heard:
Cum in hair after gagging… <– this has happened to 3 different people that I have asked.
The infamous accidental facial, which one of the 2 ladies said that it almost blinded her.
Severe nose bleed during sex.
Dirty talk gone wrong: the boy doing the dirty talking got all into it and hit his head so hard on the headboard and had almost blacked out.
A man experiencing anal for the first time with a high sense of smell… lost his erection, and well couldnt ever get it back.
And for mine….
When I was pregnant with Charli my gag reflex was really sensitive. I was giving D head and when he came, it made me gag to the point of puking. All over his cock and stomach. He laughed and I laughed… and I said, “Hey, this is just payback for the time you farted in my face when I was giving you a BJ.”
He couldnt say shit about it. 
Now it is your turn.
Did a situation that makeyou both crack the hell up and the moment was lost?
Dirty talk gone wrong?
It doesnt have to be your story, but if you know of someones experience… share it.
I know there are some out there. Dont deny the world the entertainment!!!
Tags: bj, dirty talk, embarassing, flatulance, laugh, marriage, Sex
I just called to say ‘I love you’
Nov 5, 2008 Friendship, Thoughts and Perceptions
When inner turmoil begins to boil over, the right person seems to call my phone and make it all better. Or at least become a temporary distraction of giggles and gossip.
She called tonight. The right fucking person. She needed to hear my laugh as much as I needed to laugh with her on the other end. From miles and miles away she knows exactly what to say. And what not to say. And, thankfully, when to fucking listen.
Typically, I don’t answer my phone. I don’t really like talking on the phone. I prefer face-to-face when I can get it, or text message if I can’t. I have a handful of people that I always answer their calls when I actually hear the phone ring… because normally, my forgetful ass leaves my phone on silent all evening after work, and miss a bajillion calls. Heh. What can I say… my phone is not that important.
Okay, I am lying. My motherfucking phone is damn important. Whatever.
Truth be told, I just have so much going on in my life that a phone conversation is an added thing to deal with. Texts, IM’s… they are multitasking forms of communication for me. They arent less personal than talking on the phone for 5 hours. Not to me. Some of my best friends ever are people who I strictly communicate via text or IM. Is that insane or what? I dont love them any differently than someone I talk to on the phone every day… Is that possible?
So I screen calls. Yep. I sure fucking do. And, I generally dont answer calls… except for when I need that call. I do not know how to explain the feeling, it is just there. If you are one who gets them… you know what I mean. Sometimes you just know that a person needs you to call them. Not wants… needs. I get the urge sometimes, and I will call that person or those people, just to make sure that they know I love them. That they hear it from my voice. Beyond any text message in the world, hearing that on the other end of the receiver makes all the difference in the world.
I appreciate my friends. The ones who get it. And me. And even if you are just like me in the sense that you just plain dont ‘do phone’… replace the word ‘called’ in the title with ‘text’ or ‘emailed’ or ‘imed’ and it is just as meaningful to me that you took the time out to act on the feeling that I may have needed to hear it.
You know??? Of course you do. You get it.
So, if a person pops into your thoughts out of no where, just take a second to ____ them and tell them you love them. It will probably 1) turn their frown upside down, 2) mean the fucking world to them and 3) take a really shitty day and pump some much needed sunshine into it.
My 2 cents.
How do you communicate with people?
Do you have close relationships with people whom you have never or rarely speak to?
Do you ‘do phone?’
Tell me of a time when that person called you, and made you smile without even really knowing that you needed it.
Tags: 'do phone', communication, friends, i love you, IM, laugh, phone, smile, sunshine, text
