Never Sexy.
Jan 12, 2010 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Random
* Camel Toe. Anytime, for any reason.
* Body Odor. Wear some motherfucking deodorant. For fucks sake.
* Bras as shirts. They don’t call them “undergarments” for a reason.
* Realistic size 12 squeezing into a size 8. if it don’t fit…. don’t force the issue.
* No neck due to excessive steroid use, or weight lifting to compensate for a little cock. Need I say more?
* Shouting “EH” or whistling at me like I am a dog to get my attention. Seriously.
* Toes hanging an inch over the front of your shoes. Bitch, I don’t care how cute they are, if they don’t fit…. THEY DON’T FIT.
* Panty Lines. Not acceptable. EVER.
*Orange “Mask-Face” It’s called BLEND and MATCH your NATURAL SKIN TONE.
* Ankle-heeled boots with skirts Ugh.
* Speedos. I dont care how old. Not sexy. Not sexy one bit.
* Armpit hair and tank-tops on women. I dont want to see the shit. I just dont.
* Mullets in 2010. Did I need to bring this up? I thought this was a general understanding. No?
* Tube tops. No. There is not a person on this planet that can convince me differently
* Being able to see your ass crack while you are standing up. The pants DONT FIT. GET NEW ONES. Please AND Thanks.
* Sagging so much that it looks like your cock hits your knees. That to me says you have no cock. Get a belt. Wear pants that FIT.
* Big titties and no bra.I dont want to see tummy nipples. WEAR SOMETHING PLEASE.
Did I miss anything?
Tags: justin timberlake, mullet, never sexy
YGWM & Friday Eye Candy
Oct 29, 2009 Friday Eye Candy, P.O.E. Biz, Ranteriffic, You've Got Wicked Mail, bitch
Look. I am in no mood for small talk today. Let’s just get on with it.
Dear Life,
How about go fuck yourself right now. K? I don’t need this shit right now.
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Dear Courtni,
You need to get it together. It needs to click. E V E R Y T H I N G depends on it. Like, everything. No one can afford for you to fail at this.
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Dear You,
I don’t like your attitude lately. Get out of my face with that shit.
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Dear D,
I am not frustrated with your current choices. You have finally figured out what the right thing to do is and you are finally doing it. Thank you for that. What I am frustrated and worried and freaking out on the inside about are the past choices that are creeping up on us and affecting the entire family. I am unable to do it all by myself. Literally.
I am behind you. I am just in silent wtfarewegonnado panic mode right now. Especially because the answer is not coming to me.
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Dear Same Pants Guy,
I really adore you. Especially considering that you wear different pants now.
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Dear “You Just Think You Are Funny” Bitch,
Hi Hater!
I have decided that I am no longer bothered by you. I have officially become immune to your 1) horrific homemade outfits and hooker footwear 2) your face 3) your presence & 4) your voice. Fuck yourself kindly. I am planning my witty, non violent, unfireable demise. You have no idea how creative and manipulative I can be.
You have officially fucked with THE wrong bitch.
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You go. Let it out. Vent away your frustrations so that you can officially enjoy your Halloween weekends.
Friday Eye Candy is one that I have pondered doing before and haven’t. Why? Because he is obvious. But, I am tired and cranky and freaking out and stressed and fucking over it so this is what you get.
Mmmmm…. I almost … ALMOST … feel better.
If you are passing through a hallway and there’s an open door, do you look through it?
What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid?
If you could travel through time and meet yourself when you were a kid, what would you say?
