Winning is Everything
Mar 29, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Family, Friendship, Relationships, Wicked Wisdoms
I will preface this blog with the fact that, when dealing with difficult people who live to make your life a living hell… conscious or not… the end result is always to win. If that means I smile while cussing you out behind gritted teeth… Me being able to say “I Win!” is the only reason as to why I would.
I win. <– my mantra. My reason for doing more than half of the shit that I do not want to do.
Anyfuckingway.
I *gasp* have another completely hypothetical and generally specific friend to blog about today.
I know, I know. You were totally thrown off by this. Heh.
Anyway, this friend is not one of the 2 twitter-heads. Twitter-Dee and Twitter-Deny. We will call her Renee. She is a totally different friend with a completely and totally unrelated scenario that needs to be discussed.
She. Has. In-Laws. *insert blood-curdling scream here*
I swear to god. I have heard some stories in my day about the hell that has been created due to in-law drama. But my totally hypothetical friend’s situation is … unbearable.
It takes the cake on a daily… sometimes hourly basis.
The sad part about this generally specific situation is that for the longest time, she really tried to do right. It was all about perfection. Scheduling. Holidays. Family events to the point of nausiation. Seemingly enough, none of it was really ever good enough in any of her husbands families eyes.
The shittiest part about it is that it isn’t just her husbands parents. It is the siblings and the siblings significant others as well. No matter what she does, or what she says… there is an issue. A wrong found. A head shaken in her general direction.
I personally struggle with Renee’s daily situation. For those of you who know me, I live in a world of “Like it or fuck yourself.” My parents and in-laws have learned that I am pretty much going to say and be who I am going to be. I don’t give a flying fuck if it is acceptable. I am grown. I don’t live to anyone elses standards.
Period.
The reason I struggle is because her situation is not applicable to me. So, when we talk, hypothetically of course, it is a struggle to remain unruffled. I know that she, as much as she would like for it to be, doesn’t have the same set of in-laws that I do. Honestly, if I shared the same crazies that she did, I would have written them the fuck off a long time ago.
Where am I going with this? Glad you asked.
Renee is consistently forced into making the decision in whether or not to be the bigger person. It seems as if, though, no matter what she does… the fault falls back on to her shoulders. The heads still shake in her general direction. Noses are turned up and whispers behind backs.
For example, her sister-in-law may or may not have done something totally unspeakable to her for no reason. She may or may not have, without any regard for her totally hypothetical niece and nephew, lied to a government agency about the terms of her job, said some awful lies and almost caused her to not get her unemployment benefits.
Riiiiiight.
My completely hypothetical friend had to make the decision on whether or not to be the bigger person. Why? Because she may or may not have known about dirty little sister-in-law secrets.Things that may or may not totally fuck her over. Things that the S I L probably forgot she allowed out into shared air with my friend.
However, she needed to win. Spreading gossip usually doesn’t guarantee a win. Begrudgingly, and with many swear words, she chose to be the bigger person.
A round of applause is in order, because frankly, I don’t know if I could have been the bigger person. You fuck with my kids livelihood…. we got a problem. Mommy gangsta comes out in full affect.
So recently, for the hubs b-day, Renee coordinated a grown n sexy outing. Like it or not, she had to invite the totally hypothetical siblings. An idea was tossed out about ‘accidentally mistyping’ the email address. Whoops!
Genius, right? (Don’t even start with the notion that it was my idea.)
So it was tossed back and forth. I may or may not have encouraged it, but bottom line was that if she left the S I L out, she would never ever hear the end of it.
The bigger person emails the right one, and prays of a conflicting in schedules.
The beeyotch plain doesnt fucking invite her. And smiles about it.
She again chose the adult route. And she prayed to the heavens that the bitch had previously scheduled cunt work to do. (I may or may not have prayed too. Not gonna lie.) Of course she showed. And my hypothetical friend smiled appropriately. But I knew what the truth was. It was written in her eyes like the stars in the sky. (and she sent me a text about it. HAHA)
I am proud of her patience and awesome ability to juggle personalities. I say personalities only because the real Renee is the person that I see… and she screams at her when dealing with such events of chaotic drama to lash out and tell a bitch clean about herself… but the other Renee… the bigger one if you will, restrains her inner gangster.
I have learned from her daily in-law drama that you really have to be grateful for the things you have in your life. Because some people, like my hypothetical friend Renee, don’t have the same blessings that you do.
I bet if you asked her how she does it so flawlessly (and I wont put effortless here because a bitch knows for a fact how much effort is exuded), Renee would tell you that she hasnt a motherfucking clue.
Wicked Wisdom of the Day: At the end of the day, no matter what the cliche saying is used to describe how you did it… (i.e. killing them with kindness) being able to say “I WIN!” is worth every ounce of effort spent doing it.
Advice for Renee? (Keep in mind that this is 5+ years of dealings)
Do you have an in-law horror story to share? (This includes the siblings)
Tags: adult, bigger person, choices, decisions, drama, Family, Friendship, gossip, husband, in laws, love, marriage, mommy, morals, take the cake, win
The Mother (in-law) Load.
Dec 10, 2008 Addiction & Recovery, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions
Raise your hand if you have one.
Raise your hand if you know of a friend or relative who has one.
Now. Raise your hand if you or your friend/relative’s expieriences are pleasant ones… most of the time.
I have a friend. She is one of my oldest, dearest friends in the whole world. She happens to have the mother in law from hell. I could tell you horror story upon horror story of the manipulation and gameplay that has commenced on a weekly… sometimes daily basis with this one.
I have another friend. She has a mother in law who is a loving caring woman. She respects boundaries, doesnt overstep into the fine lines that are drawn in the sand over parenting styles… her grandkids adore her… and for the most part, so does my friend. The problem is that she has a tendency to be flaky. This is not new information to my friend. In fact, if you asked this MIL, she would attest to her flaky ways.
Today, my friend wrote to me… partially in jest of the situation, but the other part angered. Here is what she wrote:
“We all know she is a great woman. We also all know that she has a problem. I tried to ask her to leave her debit card at home, and just take minimal cash with her to the casino. She, of course, refused… and went missing for 24 hours. No call, no nothing. She finally called me at 2:30 AM because she ‘was not having fun anymore.’ She wanted one of us to come pick her up. Of course He did… because that is his mom, but mostly because I simply did not have it in me at that hour to even acknowledge the reality or validity of this phone call. So He drove 40 minutes to this casino, where he found her sprawled on a bench in front of the entrance. He pretty much had to carry her to the car. Her and the liquor cabinet that she was carrying on her breath.
We, including my child, were all worried sick. I called hospitals and police stations… but in my heart I knew that she simply was being selfish. She was not hurt… she just didnt think to call. My mother in law literally lost track of 24+ hours.
Bottom line, I have lost respect for her. She has crossed the line, and what I have to say… she doesnt want to hear”
What does she do?
Does my friend have the right to say something to her about this incident?
Or is she to leave it to her son to handle?
Do you have an in-law-from-hell story?? Even if it isnt your own. I would love someone to top this.
Tags: alcohol, casino, drunk, hospital, in laws, lost track of time, money, respect, worry
