Honest Tuesday’s: I Turn Tables.
Mar 15, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Etc., Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, Random
Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.
So yeah. I don’t turn tables like a DJ or anything like that. (That would be rad if I was though.)
Instead, I turn tables in this blog and ask YOU questions that you get to be honest about. I am not gonna lie. Some might make you feel uncomfortable.
Deal with it.
On that note … Do you or Would you …
…. think that when your significant other is away from you that they are cheating?
…. start off a conversation with “FYI, I only plan on listening to part of your conversation because I think you are fucking boring” if you know that you will ahead of time, to avoid wasting that 10 minutes of your life?
…. stop masturbating when your significant other enters the room?
…. throw temper tantrums as an adult?
…. reveal all of your fantasies, no matter how dirty or socially unaccepted?
…. shelter your kids from everything, some things, or nothing at all?
…. cry, even if you’re only crying because you feel sorry for yourself?
…. always forgive, even if you never forget?
…. avoid confrontation, even if all you want to do is punch a bitch in the mouth?
…. lie to your kids to save their feelings?
…. act as if you like the food, even if you are literally gagging it down with each bite … simply to spare someone’s feelings?
…. suffer complete unhappiness so that your kids are raised in a 2 parent home?
…. consider yourself a true friend, or a fair weather friend?
…. simply wait for someone to shut up so you can begin talking?
…. ever wonder what your life would be like if you took the other path?
Have a WONDERFULLY Honest Tuesday! 
Tags: Honest Tuesday's, honesty, lies, truth, Tuesday
Honest Tuesday’s: People are NOT Honest People Anymore.
Jan 25, 2010 Current Events, Honest Tuesday's, Ranteriffic, Suck It!, bitch
There may or may not be angry in this blog. Just saying.
Iamanidiotandsomehowmisplacedmyfuckingpursewithmyentirelifeinit.
Entire life? Yep.
Checkbook.
BRAND NEW FUCKING DRIVERS LICENSE.
Xavier’s Gamestop Gift Card.
New DISCONTINUED MAC BLUSH AND LIPGLOSS.
ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF MY MONEY. Like LITERALLY ALL OF IT.
Chanel WALLET.
My motherfucking KEYCARD FOR WORK.
My kids photos. Photos of my family.
Business cards.
Credit cards.
The $5000 receipt for D’s entire studio.
2 jars of espresso. (WHICH I COULD REALLY FUCKING USE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY CARDS AND CASH WERE ALSO IN MY PURSE AND I CANT BUY COFFEE NOW.)
That is all I can remember but I am sure that there will be more added to this list. Don’t ask me how or why or what or who does that because I have already fucking been there. I have already racked my brain and called the places I need to call to cancel or stop or ask politely through gritted teeth if someone was AN HONEST PERSON and turned my bag in.
Fuck it. Take the money. Take the cards. But I bet that the rest of my shit is in a fucking trash can somewhere covered in Big Mac sauce with zero regard for who it belonged to. My purse was my very first Coach purse that I bought myself with my HARD EARNED MONEY. It may not mean shit to anyone else but me and no one else may understand that but I dont care. It is mine. My Chanel wallet was a GIFT from someone who I care about very much. I BOUGHT MYSELF THAT MAKEUP FOR CHRISTMAS BECAUSE I WORKED MY ASS OFF AND DESERVED TO TREAT MYSELF TO SOMETHING NICE. Like, JUST BOUGHT IT.
This is why I turn shit like this in. Because KARMA IS A CUNT. I don’t play around with karma one bit. If I find a purse or a wallet, I look for a drivers license. Some way to contact the rightful owner. Same with cell phones. I call every number in the book, looking for an owner or someone who can get the phone to the actual owner. These things have value. Not even monetary. Do you know how long it takes to replace shit like that?!
FOREVER. I still am missing numbers from old phones that have been stolen.
And, I get it. It is all just “stuff”. It can and will be replaced. And, I will get over it sooner than later. Know that. But right now, TODAY … IAMFUCKINGREALLYMADANDDISGUSTEDWITHGHETTOCLASSLESSPEOPLE who cannot seem to fucking get past themselves for FIVEFUCKINGSECONDS.
Yep. It affected my entire day. Shonuff did. Especially because I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do because someone else took that from me.
LIKE HAVE COFFEE OR USE MY MAKEUP THAT I TO USE BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY FUCKING PURSE.
So fuck you, ASSHOLE for anonymously ruining my and everyone else who was affected around me for being a caffiene-less, stressed out cunt all day.
The end.
Feel the need to rant about something? Go.
Who gets the Asshole Award in your life today?
Tags: asshole award, Chanel, coach, Honest Tuesday's, mac makeup, stolen
Honest Tuesday’s: Say What You Need to Say.
Jan 18, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, DUH, Honest Tuesday's, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Ranteriffic, bitch
Hello! Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s. A place where you can come and be honest about shit that you would be dishonest about otherwise.
So this topic today is not something that I am admitting any dishonesty about. Because if any of you know me, you know that I am 99.9% gonna tell your ass about yourself. Unless 1) I might get fired or 2) I might go to jail. And even then I have taken the risk.
Anyway…
Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by cowards. People who are so scared to just tell someone how they feel.
“We really aren’t friends.”
“I am in love with you but I am too stubborn to say it first.”
“I didn’t invite you out for a reason.”
“No. I am NOT going to call you.”
“I think you are repulsive and would rather not have sex than have sex with you.”
“I am cheating on you.”
“If I wanted you to show up, I would have invited you.”
“We don’t hang out because your significant other is a complete fucking douchebag.”
“Your breath smells like someone took a shit in your mouth.”
“I hate it when you constantly interrupt me in the middle of a sentence.”
I mean seriously?! Are you that afraid of being a real person to where you lead them along their merry way … believing something to be true that is complete and total bullshit? How is someone ever going to be able to fix that annoying thing that they have no clue is in fact annoying in the first place?
Say what you need to say. You are doing no one any favors by keeping it to yourself. Especially not the person whom you are keeping it from.
Furthermore, how asshole-ish are you to talk shit about a person behind their back? Anything you have to say behind their back … you need to figure out how to say it to their face. What are we? 12th graders? Is this fucking Mean Girls but in real life?
Say what you need to say. Fuck sparing someones feelings. Fuck being polite. Fuck smiling in someone’s face in an effort to not cause a scene or drama.
Just fucking tell them. I am over hearing about how so’n’so is blah blah blah all of the time. If you don’t fucking like them, then God damn tell them already.
Or don’t. Whatever. You are the one being a fake, 2 faced fucking asshole. Not me.
Fuck.
Get your weekly honesty out. Say sumpin!
Tags: high school, Honest Tuesday's, honesty, mean girls, say what you need to say
Honest Tuesday’s: I am Addicted to…
Dec 29, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, DUH, Honest Tuesday's, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sex, The Tarably Wicked Show, love
Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place to be honest about all of the shit you cannot be honest about.
… Shopping.
Like, budget my life so that I can squeeze a couple new t-shirts or boots or makeup purchases or even unmentionables. Even if I dont really neeeeeeeeeed it. Walking into Nordstrom’s … and smelling the “New Everything” scent. I don’t want a new car scent tree for my truck, I just want a Nordstrom scent tree in my truck. In MAC eyeshadow colors.
Speaking of MAC …
… Makeup. Thank you Tarable, for enabling my addiction to these pretty round black container treasures. “Naked Lunch”? I mean, who wouldn’t want to wear that on their face?! I love how the lip gloss smells like doughnuts. I love playing with the new colors and seeing what they look like on my face. I love how every color and brand is different. Like when walking into Sephora … and you walk through the Urban Decay section. It is so different from MAC; new and fresh and pretty. And when you put it on your face it looks so pretty. IT IS PRETTY.
… Cheeseburgers. I fucking love a good cheeseburger. Love. Especially when starting a second round of South Beach Phase 1 to look not like rolly pollys after the holiday’s. I want a god damned cheeseburger so bad. That I can literally taste the ketchup, pickle and mustard in my mouth as we speak. I may or may not be salivating a little bit while typing this. (pee ess: Dear McDonalds, fuck you for .99 cheeseburgers.)
… (this is alllll Tarable) Cigarettes. I love to smoke. I do. I love it. I fuuuuuuuuucking love it. I know it is bad for me. I know I need to stop doing it. But I love to smoke them. Especially when I am stressed out. Or drunk. And on the way to work. Cig in one hand, coffee in the other.
Speaking of Coffee:
… Coffee. I absolutely MUST have coffee. M U S T H A V E I T I N M Y M O U T H. People who dont know me dont understand that if I dont have it, I may very well kill them Dexter styles and bury them in my backyard if they are all in my face prior to coffee consumption. I am not the one anyway, but without my latte I am DEFINITELY LESS THE ONE THAN WITH IT.
Pass THAT the fuck on.
… Shoes. Ohhhhhhh sweet baby Jesus of shoes. I love the smell of new shoes in the box. I love the tissue paper surrounding the shoes in the box and how it isnt even wrinkled. I love when you buy a new pair of shoes at Nordstroms and you ruin them the first time wearing them … that they will replace them. No questions asked. I love the way new expensive shoes feel on my feet. Not to rag on bargain buy’s … but the feeling of spendy shoes vs. notsomuch is the difference in feeling between Tiffany’s and Claires.
… Sex. I am like a man. I have sex on the brain 24 hours a day 7 days a week. My brain is like 7-11 in comparison when it comes to the topic of fucking and sucking. If I didn’t have to do anything else … like work … I would have sex all the time. My vagina would be a 24 hour establishment. However, this constant penetration can only be with that one person. Not some random piece of strange that I met at the bar who is now a vajay stalker. (Hypothetically or Tarable-cally speaking of course.) I like to talk about it. Do it. Think about it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. I cant help that it is on the brain all the time. I JUST WANT IT.
… My Phone. Yep. Facebook. Pandora. Text. Email. Scrabble. Weird facts. Calendar. Facebook. Pandora. Text. Text. Text. Text. Text. Facebook. Facebook. Facebook.
… Tarable. And she is addicted to me. We have come to the conclusion that we were separated at birth. We both have no clue what we would do without each other. What I do know is that we need to talk to each other at least once a day. Weird I know but whatever.
… Wine. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Wine is the 3rd wheel in our bestfriendcapades. Box or bottle, gimme some in mah mouth. K?
*phew*
What are YOU addicted to?
What have you not been honest about this week?!
Tags: cheeseburger, Honest Tuesday's, mac makeup, mcdonalds, nordstrom, wine
Honest Tuesday’s: Tarable’s Confession
Nov 17, 2009 Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, The Tarably Wicked Show
Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s. A place where you can tell the truth with no consequences.
Today Tarable has the floor. She needs to get several things off of her lying to herself ass chest.
Confession #1: I have made my recent slutcapades and dating ditching asshole douchebags that never idolized what my vagina (i.e. my magical beanstalk) my last. I have turned over a less slutty leaf for myself.
Confession #2: I am officially changing the digits. If you are lucky enough to have it, yay. If you aren’t, dont motherfucking ask me.
Confession #3: I have been blindsighted by a new and completely unexpected man. Not BOY. Man. A respectful, handsome, intelligent man. And I like it. And I cannot wait to see what happens next.
Confession #4: *insert crush filled 17 year old giggle here*
Confession #5: Thank you to myself for finally letting go of what I thought was important because it was never fucking important in the first place.
Confession #6: I am a new woman. I dont want to see it unless you willingly show it to me.
Confession #7: I am hungry and I hate diets.
What have you been less than honest about this week?
Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?
Tags: Honest Tuesday's
