If You Think You’re Lonely Now
Nov 25, 2009 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Random, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
It is hilarious the games couples play.
Even if you don’t want to admit you are said couple… (you know “we are just fucking”…. *yawn*) you are. When you engage in an intimate act, something is formed, that is, unless you don’t remember the person’s name, or what exactly happened because you vaguely remember someone in your bed the night before… and, shockingly… you wake up alone instead.
Yeah, not those instances.
I am more referring to those who are frequently engaging in “ass” with another person. Or people. Whatever. I have done it, and I have witnessed so many other (women specifically) doing it as well.
Example:
“I am going out with the boys.” He says timidly, trying to sound confident in his statement.
“Um, I thought we would snuggle together, watch a movie tonight, and more.” Her voice hinting the decision she thinks he should make.
“It is Mikes last time out as a single man, so we are celebrating. I will be home early.”
“Fine.”
“Are you mad?”
“No.”
“I can stay if you want me to…”
“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Okay, see you later.”
“You aren’t getting any tonight. So don’t come home expecting anything.”
We have ALL been here on one side or another.
One of 3 things are going to happen. You pick the most likely.
a) He cheats, which he was probably going to do anyway… but given the fact that his broad was being a CUNT with a capital C before he left… it is now something he is actively seeking to do.
b) She gives up the ass anyway. This is a HORRIBLE option, because now she has opened the door to inconsistencies, and which will make for him never taking any of her threats seriously. (because there are certain situations where this is a viable and necessary threat to make)
3) He is a pussy and doesn’t cheat… and comes home early with his tail between his legs… which in the spectrum of pussy games is a TOTAL turn on to her… but she is stubborn doesn’t give up the butt anyway.
In my experience in my own relationships, 3 has been the option I have stuck with. That is because I am a stubborn bitch, and I would rather be right than give us both something we want. In my experience in observing relationships… B is the most picked option.
That. Shit. Pisses. Me. Off.
Don’t say “no sex in the champagne room” for the sake of saying it. Don’t use that as an incentive for your significant to want to stay home. Especially don’t say it if you don’t mean it. I am sticking with the fact that most often it is the broad making the threat, not to stereotype… but because in my observations… bitches are inconsistent.
You make me look bad. You make bitches like ME look bad. Don’t make me come to your motherfucking house and slap the everloving shit out of you. I will do it.
Ladies, it isn’t right. You know that fact as well as I do. We all know that you want your man to come home and put in our pooter regardless of if he made you raging mad. Sex is sex. Angry sex is fanfuckingtastic, and furthermore, you all know that him coming home to you is all you really want. He is gonna have his boy time. You pushing him to spite-fuck another bitch is not worth all of the drama.
So don’t. Stop. Knock it the fuck off already.
Figure your man out. Know the right buttons to push. Try a little reverse psychology.
Instead of: “If you think you’re lonely now… wait until tonight”
Try this instead: “Have a great time baby, I love you… and I will be waiting for you to come home to me.”
And. Be. Waiting. Naked. In his favorite panties. In socks. In a nighty. On the couch. Whatever.
For god’s sake, give him some ass already. The whole world will fucking benefit. And when I say “benefit” I mean take the ratio of noassgettingdouchebagsinmyfaceeverydaywiththeirnogameandsmallcocks down a notch or 10.
My name is Wicked Game, and I approve this message.
What flaw makes you perfect?
What imperfection do you love most about yourself?
And, In a perfect world…..??? (finish the sentence)
Who Put the Douchebag in the Fishbowl?
Apr 6, 2009 I Forgot to Tag
We have all heard the saying “There are plenty of fish.” in reference to dating, love, relationships… break-ups… whatever. It seems as one jumps into your bowl just as soon as another makes its way back into the pond with the other fish. Sometimes, if you are talented, you could manage to feed more than one fish at a time. It is wise to keep them all in separate bowls though, because fish tend to ravage and turn against each other when they need to make room.
It’s true. I read it in a book once. Speaking of books, I have a short, completely hypothetical story to tell you.
Wannahearithereitgoes.
Once upon a time there was a Princess who had never been in love. She tried and tried and tried to find ‘the one’. Each time she cast her line into the pond of princes, she would get a bite. But pulling the line in was not as successful as the bite.
Some were needy fish… clinging to her every breath.
Some were ugly fish… and I am not talking about the physical appearance. They were game playing fish. Ones who would hop from fishbowl to fishbowl… taking nibbles of food from each.
Many of the fish she caught used her, abused her… and left her battered and broken from the inside out.
One day, after many days of endless baiting and casting… the Princess decided that she would no longer fish. She was tired of fishing for Princes that did not see her worth. She decided that she would wait for a Prince to cast his line out, and let her take the bait for once. Then maybe, just maybe he would truly be looking for the same thing she was. True Love… and a realistic Happily Ever After.
So she waited. The Princess went about her Princess-Like-Duties… until she fell into a social situation with a Prince. One who she thought could be the potential Prince of her dreams. All of the other Princesses loved him, and they thought that their dear Princess friend might finally have found her realistic Happily Ever After.
Boy was she wrong.
Before she knew it, her twitterpated ass was on the recieving end of some bullshit.
“I think you like me more than I like you.” (translation: “I didnt realize that I liked you so much and now I am freaking out”)
“I don’t want to end up hurting your feelings.” (translation: “I am too chicken shit to admit that this became more than I intended it to)
Uh. Wha?! Who put the douchebag in the fishbowl!!!???
Interestingly enough, the Princess wasn’t even aware of the fact that she had these ‘feelings’ in the first place. All she knew was that she enjoyed his company. She really liked him as her friend… and was down right offended at the assumption and dictation of how she felt… especially when she didnt even know herself.
Have you ever heard of the not-so-rare douchefish?
Yeah. This one was one of them. The thing about the douchefish is that they come in all shapes and sizes. They can easily go unidentified for long periods of time… and can fool even the smartest douchefish detectors. Being douchey does not have a ‘look’. You could catch the biggest and best looking fish in the pond… and after a couple of weeks in the process of getting to know your fish, realize just how big of a douche they are.
Lesson Learned. What lesson do you ask?
1) Just because someone is twitterpated, does NOT mean that they are in love. It also does not mean that you can go ahead and assume that the twitterpation is deep. Newfound twitterpation can easily be misunderstood.
2) Some people are just THAT full of themselves.
3) Douchefish are horrible pets.
4) Don’t allow someone to tell you how you feel. That is just rude.
5) Winning IS motherfucking EVERYTHING in the game of Prince-fishing.
Have you ever caught a douchefish?
What lessons have you had to learn in the game of Prince/ess Fishing?
What have you done with/to/about the douchefish in your fishbowl?
Tags: bait, break-up, dating, douche, douche bag, fairy tale, fishing, games, once upon a time, phone, prince, princess
Small Sacrifices: Are they worth making?
Sep 18, 2008 Relationships, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions
Being married, I tend to get a flood of girlfriends and/or acquaintances who seek advice or a person to vent to about their current flings. Most of the advice seekers are looking for confirmation more than actual what-to-do’s regarding the penis provider.
I dont think it is because of the fact that I have been married for 8 years. I mean, I am sure that it has something to do with it, but I think it is more along the lines of my non-sugar coating ways. I dont ever beat around the advice bush when someone asks me my opinion, because… why lie? Why pad the truth? Most people get the fact by now that they just plain dont ask if they are looking for a lie response.
I dont have a feeling filter.
As I am sure that many have asked about my relationship, I find myself constantly asking myself why women put up with the jackasses that they have chosen to spend their time with. Maybe that is why I never ask for advice regarding my own relationship unless I really am stumped. I am aware of the fact that I have made my bed. There is no need to ask anyone to crawl under my drama covers and spoon me.
The fact is, you already know where the relationship is going to go if you have to second guess any decision you have made in the past.
What chaps my ass time and time again, are those who go into a relationship and then try to fix shit. Or, they expect that their new partner will begin to evolve. The quirks that were funny in the twitterpated stage are no longer that humorous. It is no longer cute to make jokes about all things ‘your relationship’.
Boys don’t always get that. Their transition into relationship mode is ofter slower and more of a pain in the ass than anything anyone could ever imagine. Boys unintentionally play games and push buttons and test boundaries.
Why? I don’t fucking know. The only penis I provide is the one I strap on. Otherwise, it is all vagina all the time. I enjoy possessing the pussy in the relationship. Pussy is power. . . But that is an entirely different blog within itself.
Moving on. I have advice for you ladies that are unsure what your next move is in the relationship you are currently in or getting ready to dive into in the near future. It may sting a little… but get the fuck over it.
1: If he is already engaged in the following, do not expect him to EVER give them up for you:
-Porn.
-Football, or any major sport for that matter.
-Guy’s Night of ANY sort.
-His boys. Even the ones that you hate.
-His mother.
2: If he does not take anything seriously before you commit, the likelyhood of him doing it after is very slim… to not at all.
3. He will not turn into a spontaneous romantic. He either has it, or he doesnt. You cannot get mad at him for not having that romantic bone.
4. There is no teaching a man to love to give oral.
Every single one of you out there out on the diving board of love need to understand something very important: In order for a relationship to work, and to be healthy in all aspects… You absolutely must learn to accept things about your partner that you cannot change. Because there are things that just will always remain.
Once you accept this fact in your life, you will find yourself at peace with who you are and what you need in a partner.
If you made a list of things that you would never sacrifice or change for any relationship… what would they be?
What things could you not live with in a relationship?
Have you had to end a relationship because of things that you could not accept about another person? Did you regret your decision?
Have you ever been dumped because of things that you were not willing to sacrifice for a person? Did you regret your decision?
Tags: boyfriend, change, dating, decsisons, games, girlfriend, love, marriage, new relationship, romantic, sacrifice, spontaneous
