Arm Wrestling With Apologies
Apr 12, 2009 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Plunges, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
You wanna know what is awesome?
Being able to admit fault.
I think that the ability to take a step back and re-live a moment that you may or may not have had a part in, admitting your fuck-ups, and then moving on is an attribute that many do not possess. I think it is because it is easier for people to blame shift and make excuses. It takes a strong individual to really have the balls to stand up and say “My Bad” or “I apologize for my part in this fucked up situation” and truly be genuine about it.
I hate forced apologies. That is why I rarely apologize. No shit. In the almost 10 years that I have been with D, I have made pro-active apologies (meaning me initiating them) maybe 20 times. And we fight a lot. We used to anyway… like, we went 2-3 years at the beginning of our marriage fighting on a daily, even hourly basis. Many fights that I initiated.
Did I initiate the apology after? Nope.
In fact, if you know me… I will do pretty much everything EXCEPT apologize. And when I have, they have almost always been in a card that has a pre-written “I’m sorry” inside of it with some cute animal with sad eyes holding a heart on the front. D has a shoe-box full of them.
This is more of an “Old Wicked” trait than a new. I am better at owning responsibility then I used to be… so now if I am truly at fault, and I know it… I will throw out those horrid words.
“I am sorry.”
Blah. Old or new, past or present… I would rather eat my arm off sometimes than utter an apology.
But I do it. I suck in all of the reasons why I don’t want to, I brush the cunt off of my shoulder that is insisting that whatever bitch thinks they deserve an apology from me can suck it… and I just plunge into that moment of humility.
A heartfelt apology means so much to someone who truly deserves it.
That is all I’ve got today folks. Hope you are having a great Sunday evening-slash-Monday morning.
So… Do you struggle with apologies?
Do you try to do other things to avoid apologies? What?
What is the hardest apology that you have ever had to suck up and own?
Tags: apologies, argument, awesomeness, blame shift, excuses, humility, i'm sorry, marriage, plunge
2-Mommy, 0-Sneaky Kid
Sep 9, 2008 Parenting
I love being a parent. I really love watching my kids learn and grow to be these functioning members of society. To know that because of my guidance, my kids will make the right decisions most of the time is beyond rewarding. But with any job, the added perks make it that much more rewarding to put forth the 110% effort into.
Wait, what?? There are added perks to parenting? Of course there are! Any seasoned parent knows that beyond the reward of your child’s successes comes the perk of catching them in the act of something sneaky. Bottom line, children are intelligent little shits. They, just like most of us adults, revel in pulling something off.
Even the littlest defeat is a win for the child. Unless, they are caught off guard.
*insert doom-filled parent music*
Case-In-Point:
Rewind to yesterday. Mommy (me) had to take the day off to car shop because of the stolen vehicle incident left over from the weekend. It took longer than anticipated to get our asses out of the house (thanks Charli) so Mommy and Dad decided to go and surprise Xavier at school to get him out a couple of hours early. That way we didnt have to risk him being home alone if we were not finished as quickly as we would have liked.
So we roll into the office and have him sent down from class. The first thing I noticed was the fact that he was not wearing the brand new Nike’s that Dad had bought for him for his birthday. He was wearing some random pair of Jordans that didn’t even match with what he was wearing.
Me: “Who’s shoes are those?”
X: “Anthony’s.” (his best friend)
Me: “Oooooh. You are so busted.”
X: “Are you gonna tell dad?”
Me: “No. You are.”
X: “But, Uh, I trust Anthony to take care of my shoes so we traded.”
Me: “Save it for Dad.”
We head out to the truck with X’s head low and my smile beaming. I was stoked to have caught his ass in the act; totally off guard and just plain busted. I could see his brain moving, trying to come up with the best reason possible to have needed to trade his new shoes for his friends. Little did he know that his excuses didnt matter. His plan to switch shoes on the bus, and act like nothing ever happened was spoiled. Even better was the fact that his partner in crime had no idea that X was gone for the day. So not only was Xavier busted, but I was almost positive that his parents would not appreciate this sneaky shoe trade plan either.
Obviously, the very first thing D noticed was the shoes. All X could muster as an explination was that he “trusted” his friend to take care of them. D interrogated and grilled like he always does, sending X deeper and deeper into the hole he dug with his excuses. Finally, after an “I’m disappointed in you” comment from his dad, he just put the verbal shovel down and gave in to his being wrong. (and, being just like his mother, I am positive it was one of the most difficult things he ever had to do.) I can only imagine how his bff felt when he was frantically looking for X at the bus stop, attempting to trade back shoes before he had to go home as previously planned.
And, just as I predicted, we received a knock on the door shortly after we got home. BFF’s mom was just as pleased as we were to see her kid wearing someone elses shoes. He didn’t have time to react either, being that she was home to greet him at the door to his surprise.
2- Mommy, 0-Sneaky boys.
It is these small victories that make being a parent so worth every minute.
Are you a parent? Do you have any of these little triumphant victories to share?
Do you remember being a kid, and being totally busted by your parent like this? Share those too!
Tags: best friends, excuses, kids, lies, mom and dad, Nike's, plans, surprise
