Living Wicked

Posts Tagged ‘denzel washington’

YGWM & Friday Eye Candy

Jan 14, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Family, Friday Eye Candy, Out of Wicked's Mouth, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Ranteriffic, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., You've Got Wicked Mail, bitch, love

Happy Friday!

You know the drill … come here, purge your bullshit so that you can enjoy the weekend.

Dear You,

Thank you so very much for knocking it the fuck off. You are much more pleasant to be around when you are not being a fucking baby.

————————————————————————————————————–

Dear D’s Penis,

Thank you for the meeting. I forgot that you even existed. Shit, I forgot that I even existed.

Love, Wicked’s Vagina

—————————————————————————————————————-

Dear Bank Account,

I am really sorry. It is not my fault that you are overdrawn. Soon this will all be resolved and we wont be poor.

Wicked

—————————————————————————————————————–

I am so so so so so happy you are home. In the past week, you have made such an impact in the house. We all appreciate every single thing that you do for us. I missed you more than you will probably ever know.

PeeEss … thanks for the sex.

——————————————————————————————————————-

Dear Miley Cyrus,

I am pretty sure none of us believe that you are even close to a virgin. You are going straight to hell for lying about your aforementioned faux-ginity to you millions maybe even billions of fans.

Just admit that you have had some of the cahck.

P.S. If I hear you “singing” that “bumpin jay-z” song one more mother fucking time I may have a credit melt down. You suck.

——————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Baby Jesus,

There are several reasons why we need to have a conversation.

1) I am not the one.

2) Virginity movement?! Really?

3) Keep it pushin.

———————————————————————————————————————

Dear Tara,

Where did your wit go?!

Love Tarable.

———————————————————————————————————————-

Dear D,

Thank fucking sweet baby jesus that you are home.

Love, Tarable.

———————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Haiti,

I wish that I could swoop in and give you all of the food in the world. All of the food and water and money to fix it. But I don’t have it. My heart goes out to all of you and all of the families who lost someone.

————————————————————————————————————————

Dear Porn Movies,

Shut up. No one wants to hear you talk. We just want to see the sex. All of the sex. We don’t care about the plot or the story line or the climax … that is … unless the climax consists of a dude climaxing on a bitches face.

—————————————————————————————————————————–

Dear Boyfriend,

I hope you have a fantastic time. I will miss you. Be safe. Look at all the boobs you can but reserve it for me.

Love Tarable

Pee Ess. We are having the sex when you get home. Like put it in my mouth.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Dear Mike O and Boyfriend,

You motor boatin’ sons of bitches.

Love Tarable

——————————————————————————————————————————

Dear D,

Did I mention, thank fucking GOD you are home!?!?