Decisions… Decisions…
Dec 14, 2009 DUH, Etc., Friendship, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, P.O.E. Biz, Thoughts and Perceptions
Happy Motherfucking Monday. How was your weekend? Mine was … interesting to say the least.
This weekend got me thinking about how much of an impact 1 simple decision can have on everything you do.
Example:
My decision to not deal with D being gone. I made an unconscious decision to just fucking ignore it.
When I got there, it hit me. I haven’t missed someone so much in my whole life like I missed him on Friday night. My right side was vacant. My heart was heavy. I tried my damnedest to play it off but seeing everyone with their significant others stung. With each sting … I made the decision to drink more.
Before I knew it …
I acted like an asshole. I drank too much. I cried like a little girl. I got cut off at the bar for the first time in my whole life. I broke a glass. I forgot a lot of the evenings events. I then made a decision to drive home which then led me to the decision to pull over in some random parking lot and pass out.
Right?!
This decision also led to people worrying about me and that makes me sad. I am not the irresponsible one. Anyway, I woke up on Saturday and wanted to crawl into a hole and just disappear from the world.
What did I say? Who did I say it to? Did I do anything overly embarrassing?
Ahhh… decisions, decisions.
We all make decisions to or not to do things.
Do I make the decision to punch that new work bitch in her face?
Do I make the decision to eat that cheeseburger that I really want to eat?
Do I make the decision to … do that … ?
Because of one bad decision … It dominoed into all of that chaos above. So, now … I have decided to make the decision to stop acting like I am tough all of the time. Because apparently, I am not. I am making the decision to deal with it and not push it out of my mind anymore. Because the next bullshit that happens will be way worse. I know me. That whole business told me about myself.
So. Yeah. As always, I learn the motherfucking hard way.
Have you made any bad decisions lately? How have they affected everything else in your life?
If you could go back and change one decision … one that affected everything in your life … would you? Why or why not?
Random Air Humps
Apr 16, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Current Events, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Parenting, Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, bitch
Happy Friday!
Woooooooooooooo!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhht!
(this is about to be the most random blog you have seen from me in awhile. thank lack of sleep and too much shit to stuff into my brain.)
*air humps*
I swear to God, ever since the other day when D thought that air humping about everything was an acceptable answer, I have been obsessed with the act.
*air humps*
I need to make a decision. Like, I love being busy on the weekends, having this thing called a productive life… but at the same time I yearn to be braless on my chaise, remote in one hand… something-chocolatey-and-also-salty in the other (no, not D’s cock… but now that you mention it… *air humps*) laptop… well, on my lap. If I could be lazy and get away with it, I still wouldn’t.
Who actually wants to live their life by the teet of the television/tivo/dvr bullshit?
So I guess this means that I made the decision. I will just long for laziness… while running endless errands.
This decision gets no air humps.
Charli is a fucking crack-up. Yesterday, I yelled for Xavier to get his ass in the house.
Me: (outside yelling for him) “XAAAAAAAAAVIER!!!!!!!!!!”
X: “YEAHHHHHHHHHH”
Me: “IT IS TIME TO COME INSIDE!”
X: “CAN I HAVE 10 MORE MINUTES?!”
Me: “NO! COME ON!!!!!!!!!”
X: “MOMMMMMMM PLEAAAAAASE!?”
Me: “BOY! GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!”
For the rest of the night, every time Charli saw X: “BOY! GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!”
Clear as a motherfucking bell. Xavier was not amused. Heh. I was.
*air humps*
Speaking of humping:
D: “You are wearing the shorts.”
Me: “Huh?” <— famous last words
D: (all of a sudden on top of me.) “I think you put them on to play pussy games with me.”
Me: (pretending to be unaware of what this means) “Pussy games!?”
D: “Bitch dont play.”
Me: (bending over to pick up a piece of lint on the carpet.) “I am not sure I understand.”
The rest of the convo is considere pornography and could get the site blocked. In case you are lost….
I swear we go through the craziest phases. Sometimes we cannot keep our hands off of each other. Sometimes, I look at him and he looks at me and we give each other the middle finger. Either way, It works. I think right now it is because 1) I am pretty and 2) I am at school again. The less we see each other the more we boogie.
I like it that way.
Speaking of porn, I was watching this clip the other day where I swear to God, this bitch talked through the entire free 5 minute clip of her getting the ever living shit f*cked out of her. What is going on with porn these days? Can I get a free porn clip that does not have this dumb broad holding steady dialogue???
Shut the f*ck up porn star. If we wanted to hear you speak we would watch you on a MOTION PICTURE.
Am I alone in the loathing of the talking porn star?
Is my hand the lone one raised when the question of shut up and get f*cked is asked?!
Sheesh.
Also, my new second favorite word is taint. It is close in the runnings with cunt.
Lastly, (deep breath)
Maybe Jaime Foxx has a point about Miley Cyrus. Maybe it was spoken harshly, but I dont necessarily disagree with the intent.
The Sunday School Teacher that killed that little girl needs to get fucked with a rusty pipe until she bleeds to death.
Hulk Hogan is bat shit crazy, but haven’t we all wanted to murk a bitch?!
Mel Gibson is a douche.
Some one beat the shit out of those 2 Dominoes Pizza employees with a library full of phone books. Dont fuck with peoples food. It isnt funny.
Nobody cares about Bristol Palins baby daddy.
(exhale)
Share your own Friday random.
What are your weekend plans?
Doggy-style or Cowgirl?
What is your favorite word? Why?
Winning is Everything
Mar 29, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Family, Friendship, Relationships, Wicked Wisdoms
I will preface this blog with the fact that, when dealing with difficult people who live to make your life a living hell… conscious or not… the end result is always to win. If that means I smile while cussing you out behind gritted teeth… Me being able to say “I Win!” is the only reason as to why I would.
I win. <– my mantra. My reason for doing more than half of the shit that I do not want to do.
Anyfuckingway.
I *gasp* have another completely hypothetical and generally specific friend to blog about today.
I know, I know. You were totally thrown off by this. Heh.
Anyway, this friend is not one of the 2 twitter-heads. Twitter-Dee and Twitter-Deny. We will call her Renee. She is a totally different friend with a completely and totally unrelated scenario that needs to be discussed.
She. Has. In-Laws. *insert blood-curdling scream here*
I swear to god. I have heard some stories in my day about the hell that has been created due to in-law drama. But my totally hypothetical friend’s situation is … unbearable.
It takes the cake on a daily… sometimes hourly basis.
The sad part about this generally specific situation is that for the longest time, she really tried to do right. It was all about perfection. Scheduling. Holidays. Family events to the point of nausiation. Seemingly enough, none of it was really ever good enough in any of her husbands families eyes.
The shittiest part about it is that it isn’t just her husbands parents. It is the siblings and the siblings significant others as well. No matter what she does, or what she says… there is an issue. A wrong found. A head shaken in her general direction.
I personally struggle with Renee’s daily situation. For those of you who know me, I live in a world of “Like it or fuck yourself.” My parents and in-laws have learned that I am pretty much going to say and be who I am going to be. I don’t give a flying fuck if it is acceptable. I am grown. I don’t live to anyone elses standards.
Period.
The reason I struggle is because her situation is not applicable to me. So, when we talk, hypothetically of course, it is a struggle to remain unruffled. I know that she, as much as she would like for it to be, doesn’t have the same set of in-laws that I do. Honestly, if I shared the same crazies that she did, I would have written them the fuck off a long time ago.
Where am I going with this? Glad you asked.
Renee is consistently forced into making the decision in whether or not to be the bigger person. It seems as if, though, no matter what she does… the fault falls back on to her shoulders. The heads still shake in her general direction. Noses are turned up and whispers behind backs.
For example, her sister-in-law may or may not have done something totally unspeakable to her for no reason. She may or may not have, without any regard for her totally hypothetical niece and nephew, lied to a government agency about the terms of her job, said some awful lies and almost caused her to not get her unemployment benefits.
Riiiiiight.
My completely hypothetical friend had to make the decision on whether or not to be the bigger person. Why? Because she may or may not have known about dirty little sister-in-law secrets.Things that may or may not totally fuck her over. Things that the S I L probably forgot she allowed out into shared air with my friend.
However, she needed to win. Spreading gossip usually doesn’t guarantee a win. Begrudgingly, and with many swear words, she chose to be the bigger person.
A round of applause is in order, because frankly, I don’t know if I could have been the bigger person. You fuck with my kids livelihood…. we got a problem. Mommy gangsta comes out in full affect.
So recently, for the hubs b-day, Renee coordinated a grown n sexy outing. Like it or not, she had to invite the totally hypothetical siblings. An idea was tossed out about ‘accidentally mistyping’ the email address. Whoops!
Genius, right? (Don’t even start with the notion that it was my idea.)
So it was tossed back and forth. I may or may not have encouraged it, but bottom line was that if she left the S I L out, she would never ever hear the end of it.
The bigger person emails the right one, and prays of a conflicting in schedules.
The beeyotch plain doesnt fucking invite her. And smiles about it.
She again chose the adult route. And she prayed to the heavens that the bitch had previously scheduled cunt work to do. (I may or may not have prayed too. Not gonna lie.) Of course she showed. And my hypothetical friend smiled appropriately. But I knew what the truth was. It was written in her eyes like the stars in the sky. (and she sent me a text about it. HAHA)
I am proud of her patience and awesome ability to juggle personalities. I say personalities only because the real Renee is the person that I see… and she screams at her when dealing with such events of chaotic drama to lash out and tell a bitch clean about herself… but the other Renee… the bigger one if you will, restrains her inner gangster.
I have learned from her daily in-law drama that you really have to be grateful for the things you have in your life. Because some people, like my hypothetical friend Renee, don’t have the same blessings that you do.
I bet if you asked her how she does it so flawlessly (and I wont put effortless here because a bitch knows for a fact how much effort is exuded), Renee would tell you that she hasnt a motherfucking clue.
Wicked Wisdom of the Day: At the end of the day, no matter what the cliche saying is used to describe how you did it… (i.e. killing them with kindness) being able to say “I WIN!” is worth every ounce of effort spent doing it.
Advice for Renee? (Keep in mind that this is 5+ years of dealings)
Do you have an in-law horror story to share? (This includes the siblings)
Tags: adult, bigger person, choices, decisions, drama, Family, Friendship, gossip, husband, in laws, love, marriage, mommy, morals, take the cake, win
I dont wanna grow up!
Oct 19, 2008 Parenting, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions
Lately I have noticed myself really pondering decisions that need to be made on my part. Things that I would have previously just done childishly, are now on the high road. That sucks. I dont want to always take the bigger person route. Sometimes, I want to be the irresponsible cunt and call a bitch on the carpet, even though I am fully aware of the fact that me making that choice wont do a bit of good.
Ugh. It chaps my ass that I am growing up sometimes. Or that I am grown up. Whatev. Boo.
What bugs me more than that are the people who should be grown up but are not even close. They still go and do selfishly. They still make decisions with no regard of those who are affected. (I dont mean those in the sense of the bitches whos asses need to be called to the carpet… but more the people who are affected by there decisions in their lives)
Just because I want to go to the bar every single night after work and every weekend and get hammered with my co-workers and friends, doesnt mean that I will. Why? Well for one, it is not healthy. But for two, because I have kids. And a husband. I enjoy spending time with them. Sober-like. The thing is, when you cross the line over into responsibility…(i.e. job, kids, spouse… etc) you have to own it. Dont do both. It is unfair to the responsibilities that you have to neglect them for selfish reasons.
Don’t get me wrong, if you are selfish some of the time for good reason… that is only healthy. I am ranting about the people who pawn their kids off as much as possible, or they sign their rights away and run off to another state because they “just cant deal with it”. I am referring to multiple DUI recievers who just cannot give someone their keys, and take other peoples lives into their own hands with little regard. I am even referring to the women with revolving doors of men in front of their kids; setting the example that it is perfectly ok to spread your legs for any Tom, Dick and Harry out there.
If you are reading, and this strikes a cord with you… and, you are possibly offended, first click the back button and scroll down to read my “if thine eye offends thee, pluck it out” and then come back and re-read.
1) I dont give a flying fuck if I offend you.
2) You may need to take this blog and figure out how to be more responsible. Your irresponsibility and my offending you because of it is not my motherfucking problem.
3) Make some changes in your life. Start putting your responsibilities first, or at least think about the choices you make before you make the decision.
In conclusion, fuck you for being a cunt. <– This is a message for specific someones in my life that I am not going to start drama with. If you think it is about you, well maybe you should stop being a dumb guilty cunt and act right for a change. Do the right thing.
Do you have irresponsible people in your life?
Wanna leave them a message about themselves?
Have you ever made irresponsible decisions that you now regret? How did you make it right?
Tags: choices, decisions, drinking, dui, hammered, irresponsibility, neglect, parents, responsibility, revolving door
Moral Blindness vs. Moral Clarity
Sep 11, 2008 Sound Off/Debate
There you are, in the midst of the bustle of your business district. Same ol’ route, different day. The same uptight business woman is standing next to you in the same coffee shop where you order the same triple iced grande vanilla latte from one of the same 2 baristas just like every day. As you push through the finger smudged glass doors of the coffee shop, you glance down to see a crisp $100 bill gleaming up at you.
Do you drop your latte, in a fit of pure joy and pick that cell phone bill payment up? (obviously repurchasing the latte you spilled all over the pavement first)
Do you look around for the person who may have just realized they dropped the moo-lah; screaming “Who lost their money?” as you wave the crispy paper in the air for all to see?
Or, do you slyly reach down and snatch it quicker faster than a speeding bullet?
A package arrives on your doorstep. It has your name on it, so opening it would not be a federal crime. You were expecting something that you ordered, but not all of the things that were inside. Each little treasure something amazing within itself. Each trinket perfect in it’s own unique way. The devil on your shoulder is taunting you; whispering every single reason why you should keep them in your ear… while the angel on the other side reminds you why you should not.
Do you keep them?
Do you send them back to the store?
Do you attempt to contact the sender first?
Is it considered stealing if the sender made a mistake?
Finishing your workout, you notice a brand new mp3 player peeking out at you from under the treadmill next to the one you were using. It is so much prettier than yours. Flipping through, the song list is endless.
Do you turn it in or do you keep it?
Before you answer, really think about each scenario.
What are the similarities and differences?
What makes one more acceptable than the other?
Every day we are faced with moral tests. We are constantly in battle with what is socially acceptable and what is not. As kids, we are taught the difference between right and wrong, and then released into the wild with the basic life lessons… and expected to just figure it out.
I have been tested recently with similar scenarios. Did I make the right decision?
Wouldnt you like to know. *wink*
Lets just say that I made the right decision for me.
I think that each person faced with the same scenario has a slightly different set of moral goggles. Some are more clear than others. Some, blind their ability to make the right decisions. Then again, who is to decide ultimately on what the right decision really is? You? Me? God?
The world may never know the answer to that question.
All I know is that my moral goggles have different levels of blindness and clarity, depending on the desperation in my life in the moment that I have to put them on.
Tags: clarity, decisions, desperation, fate, karma, mine, morals, questions
Did I miss a ‘buzz-worthy’ moment?
Sep 2, 2008 Parenting
D said to me this morning as he peered through the slits of our dining room blinds… “Are we horrible parents for not walking our kid to the bus stop on the first day of school?”
This question stemmed from watching all of the other parents following protectively behind their kids past our window… the underlying buzz of the first day of school prevalent. My immediate response was the defensive one… “Of course not! He doesn’t need us to stand there next to him at the bus stop!”
However when driving to work, utilizing the little bit of uninterrupted time I am allowed each day to think, I began to question my initial thoughts on the matter. I mean, It is his third year in school. Kindergarten got tears on the first day. First grade… I was excited that he was excited. This year seems more habitual rather than buzz-worthy. These thoughts resonated, leaving me to wonder whether or not we are horrible parents… or if most other parents feel the same way I do.
I don’t cry at every defining moment in my son’s life. School is school. I guess if he were moving from elementary school to middle school… or from middle to high school… I would want to relish that next step with him… but from 1st to 2nd? I think there are moments where he needs to have those to experience without mom and dad all up in his business. I enjoy allowing him a bit of independence from us. I love to see him react without him worrying whether or not mom is in earshot… (whether I am or not remains unknown to him.. 
) and with that independence, builds trust and allows him to differentiate between right and wrong without my prompting.
I just hope that he doesn’t silently want me there. I hope that he doesn’t feel like I am not excited simply because his mom and dad didn’t stand next to him at the bus stop like every other kid. I hope that he is confident in the fact that really, we are slowly and thoughtfully letting the reins loose for him to gradually grow into the responsible little man that I know he is going to be.
Parents, have you been here? Felt this way? I would love to hear your thoughts.
Tags: decisions, independence, kids, Parenting, responsibility, school
