Popping My TMI Thursday Cherry: “Fuck You Like a Whaaaa?”
Apr 1, 2009 Friendship, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Random, Relationships, Sex, TMI Thursday's
So, because of an informal challenge, and because I have lived my life in a whirlwind of TMI… I am jumping on the TMI Thursday bandwagon.
Ready, Set, GO!
Once upon my old ass, I was allowed to go on my very first camping trip without parental supervision. I had to beg and plead to get my parents to allow it… but they finally caved. I am pretty sure that I left out the fact that I was going on this trip with my smokin’ football playing boyfriend.
*GASP!!* (who does that?!)
So we go to this kick ass location over the mountains. It was 6-8 of us rowdy drunken teenagers, with loud music and a lot of pot and alcohol. As soon as you could say “Freedom” we were commencing to getting wasted, some of us double-fisting bottles of Strawberry Hill Boones. (Who is old enough to remember those days of underage debauchery?!)
I don’t remember much, other than that there was a huge hill that we ran to the top of and rolled down several times, the group of about 20 campers at the campsite next to ours, and the fact that hunky football boy and I had yet to have sex. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd the fact that it was just him and I in a tent. Alone.
*Queue Porn Music*
So we are all sitting around a campfire, drunk off of our asses. I may or may not have taken another illegal substance other than the previously mentioned 2… but again, I have little memory of details. (alcohol and age dont mix I swear) HFB and I start making out all over the place, and before I knew it, we were stumbling back to our tent and ripping each other’s clothes off.
I did not consider the location of 1) our campsite and 2) our tent in the campsite. We were dead center of the campground. Our site and our tent.
We fell out in fits of giggles at the fact that the only condoms that *I* (not him, douche) brought were brightly colored ones. We argued (loudly, apparently) at which color to use… finally (loudly) deciding on the red one. (which, really looked hot pink when it was stretched out… I do remember that.) And then it happened. I, like the good little sex pistol that I was, flipped over into the infamous “face-down-ass-up” position.
And then… out of nowhere…
“FUCK ME LIKE A FOOTBALL PLAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!”
First, complete silence.
Second, a sporadic snort and giggle.
Then, the ENTIRE campground burst into uncontrollable laughter. Like, ROARING laughter.
What do I do? (Do you really have to ask???) “Well!? What are you waiting for??” I demand.
So he did. (He knew what was good for him.) Well, I dont really know what fucking me like a football player is… but I do know that he fucked the ever living shit out of me.
And it was goooooooooo oooood.
It was a live porn show for the campground. I was 16. Right. The next day, sober… (only for a hot second before I realized that in order to endure the humiliation that my mouth YET AGAIN caused me…) I was mortified. After a few bottles of Boones, I laughed right along with them. The remainder of the weekend random people all over the campground would shout the famous last words… “FUCK ME LIKE A FOOTBALL PLAYER!!!” into the night, echoing out into the air.
And… of course I never lived it down. I run into old friends who werent even THERE… and they still call me out for it.
*sigh*
So there it is. My very first memorable TMI moment. Be prepared for more where that came from.
To read other kick ass TMI posts, Visit LiLu. She always links them on her post. PQ posted a great one today as well.
Have you ever publicly humiliated yourself in a moment of sexual arousal?
What is your most embarrassing or funniest sex moment?
Tags: Boone's, camping, condom, drunk, football player, humiliation, Sex, tent, TMI Thursday's
I’m Positive.
Dec 1, 2008 I Forgot to Tag
I never told anyone before that I have AIDS until today.
Go ahead, take a minute to pick your faces up off of the floor and re-read that sentence. I. Have. AIDS.
I am one of the 33+ million people who are infected and living with AIDS in this country.
It is poetic justice, isn’t it? To be so passionate about something, and have it be a reality in your own life and not even know it? I have been passionate about AIDS for as long as I can remember… so when I found out that I was positive, it seemed ironic.
Tragic irony.
I can remember who gave it to me too. I instantly knew that it was him. No one else. Not because I haven’t been with a small amount of partners, but because the minute I met him, I knew that he was good to be true. Regardless of my killer gut instinct, I allowed him into my heart. As quickly as it began, it ended. I fell in love, and before I knew it he had stomped all over my heart… and later to find out, he took my health right along with him.
When I tried to tell him that I was HIV positive, he laughed in my face. He said that he had been tested several times, so I must have contracted the virus after we had slept together. “No,” he said “I won’t go get tested again. I know I am clean. I am not a dirty whore like you are.” I sobbed and screamed into the receiver, and as I should have known… He simply clicked and hung up with zero regard.
I never heard from him again.
So here I sit, now with full blown AIDS as one by one the people who I have infected end their relationship with me. They are understandably angry. They are hateful and devastated. They throw eggs and condoms at my house. My son is embarrassed to be with me because now that the word is out in our community, none of the kids want to be his friend. He isn’t invited to birthday parties anymore.
My decision to have unprotected sex has ruined lives.
If you never ever take any of my advice, please read and re-read this confession.
Use condoms.
Do not allow love to hinder your better judgment.
Get tested. Every 3-6 months if you are promiscuous. Or if you have been in the past.
Bottom line. BE SMART. Learn from my mistake. Your life and others lives are in your hands.
It isn’t your decision to make for someone else.
*Deep Breath*
What was the first thought or feeling that came to your mind when reading this?
Do you feel different about me now that you know?
What stereotypes did you realize you had after reading this? Were you aware of them before today?
Will you still hug me and kiss me and be my friend?
.
.
.
.
.
.
*I am not HIV or AIDS Positive. This blog was written to get a raw and instantaneous emotional reaction out of you. AIDS is serious business, and I thought that an infoblog would have been read among blind eyes.*
There are some great AIDS info blogs out today. If you have one to share, link it in your comment.
Here are some that you should be reading:
http://www.thepqnation.com/blog/2008/12/leadership-in-awareness
http://www.thepqnation.com/pecosa/
http://www.thepqnation.com/showandtell
If you need to get tested, or want to learn more on the viruses…
http://www.worldaidsday.org/
http://www.hhs.gov/aidsawarenessdays/days/world/index.html
http://www.unaids.org/en/
Tags: AIDS, condom, HIV Positive, love, Relationships, Sex, unprotected sex
Having ‘The Talk’ with your kids.
Oct 2, 2008 Parenting, Sex, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions
I was listening to my favorite Ladies on my favorite radio talk show this morning. The topic of discussion was regarding when or when not to begin the talk about the birds and the bees. In this discussion, a few kids called into the show (hopefully with their parents permission/assistance) and were then asked the gut wrenching question: “Where do babies come from?”
8yo answer: “They come from eggs inside mommies tummy”
6yo answer: “They come when mommy and daddy get together… and um… thats all I know”
I wonder what Xavier would say if I asked him. I can only assume that he is aware of the things that adults do… mainly because we never have sheltered him from those kinds of things. Some don’t agree with the way D and I parent him, in fact they argue that we may have offered up too much too soon to him. Who are they? Other parents, our parents, teachers maybe. It has caused me to be more cautious in my parenting decisions with Charli, and when and where are more appropriate times to expose her to the things I didn’t necessarily think about when X was younger. I can attribute that to my age and maturity level more than anything else. I have grown to be less selfish in my *gasp* old age… whereas when he was a toddler, my concern didn’t always start with him… as it does now.
Lesson learned. Move on.
The debates date back decades and decades as to how young is too young, or when are kids able to understand the complicated nature that we as humans are in relationship to sex and arousal. The conservative standpoint is always abstinence this and hush hush that. It is frowned upon across most of our 50 states to provide nurse services in public schools that discuss privately the matter of birth control and contraception. Many believe that it is the parents responsibility to make the decisions for their kids, rather than giving them the freedom to make the decision themselves.
I am still unsure fully my standpoint on the matter. I know that I fully stand behind education. Whether it be in schools or from the parents, or both. Knowledge is power, and if kids know about sex both the good and the bad… well, it should theoretically give them the sense to make decisions based on that knowledge. If I educate my kids, and I do my part in ensuring that they have all of the sexual knowledge they need to make educated decisions, how can I know that X’s girlfriend is as knowledgeable? Exactly. I don’t. And, as it is understood that even in an educational environment the amount a person absorbs is virtually uncontrollable, at least it is known that it is actually a conversation that is taking place. On the same level,using the same content across the board.
My biggest issue is that I am not sure that other parents are doing their part. I want to show my kids what an extreme case of herpes looks like. Google it, and you will see some nasty genitalia. I want them to know that one out of every 3 people of all ages contracts the herpes virus. I want them to get scared. Not so that they never ever have sex, but so that when the age old question “to strap up or not to strap up” comes about, they are of the confident standpoint to always choose the right way. Because unprotected sex is not an option. Period. And I will do my damnedest to make sure they know it.
But I am not all parents. I consider myself to be very liberal, and I hope that my kids always feel comfortable coming to me about anything. Unfortunately for other kids, they are in an extreme disadvantage. A high percentage of parents are not liberal. They do not make the conscious effort to leave that door open for their kids to walk through. It is a tragic reality, but it is truth. This is where the grey area comes in. Do we leave these poor kids sheltered, only to learn what they learn from kids their age? That is a tragedy within itself.
I hate to break this to those of you reading who do not already know:
Sex is going to be an issue for your teenagers. They are starting younger and younger. Teenage pregnancies are on the rise. (Thanks Jamie Lynne)
We as parents and educators need to find the happy medium here… because all of the debating is doing nothing more than keeping our kids less and less in the know.
So the following questions remain:
When do we start talking with our kids about sex?
Is it different for boys vs. girls?
Do we allow contraceptives in the high schools?
What do you think about sex education in schools? How early should it start?
What are your views on Dr./Teenager confidentiality in reference to birth control and sexual activity?
Sound off!
Tags: birds and the bees, birth control, condom, confidentiality, contraceptive, Sex, sex education, teenage pregnancy
