Winning is Everything
Mar 29, 2009 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Family, Friendship, Relationships, Wicked Wisdoms
I will preface this blog with the fact that, when dealing with difficult people who live to make your life a living hell… conscious or not… the end result is always to win. If that means I smile while cussing you out behind gritted teeth… Me being able to say “I Win!” is the only reason as to why I would.
I win. <– my mantra. My reason for doing more than half of the shit that I do not want to do.
Anyfuckingway.
I *gasp* have another completely hypothetical and generally specific friend to blog about today.
I know, I know. You were totally thrown off by this. Heh.
Anyway, this friend is not one of the 2 twitter-heads. Twitter-Dee and Twitter-Deny. We will call her Renee. She is a totally different friend with a completely and totally unrelated scenario that needs to be discussed.
She. Has. In-Laws. *insert blood-curdling scream here*
I swear to god. I have heard some stories in my day about the hell that has been created due to in-law drama. But my totally hypothetical friend’s situation is … unbearable.
It takes the cake on a daily… sometimes hourly basis.
The sad part about this generally specific situation is that for the longest time, she really tried to do right. It was all about perfection. Scheduling. Holidays. Family events to the point of nausiation. Seemingly enough, none of it was really ever good enough in any of her husbands families eyes.
The shittiest part about it is that it isn’t just her husbands parents. It is the siblings and the siblings significant others as well. No matter what she does, or what she says… there is an issue. A wrong found. A head shaken in her general direction.
I personally struggle with Renee’s daily situation. For those of you who know me, I live in a world of “Like it or fuck yourself.” My parents and in-laws have learned that I am pretty much going to say and be who I am going to be. I don’t give a flying fuck if it is acceptable. I am grown. I don’t live to anyone elses standards.
Period.
The reason I struggle is because her situation is not applicable to me. So, when we talk, hypothetically of course, it is a struggle to remain unruffled. I know that she, as much as she would like for it to be, doesn’t have the same set of in-laws that I do. Honestly, if I shared the same crazies that she did, I would have written them the fuck off a long time ago.
Where am I going with this? Glad you asked.
Renee is consistently forced into making the decision in whether or not to be the bigger person. It seems as if, though, no matter what she does… the fault falls back on to her shoulders. The heads still shake in her general direction. Noses are turned up and whispers behind backs.
For example, her sister-in-law may or may not have done something totally unspeakable to her for no reason. She may or may not have, without any regard for her totally hypothetical niece and nephew, lied to a government agency about the terms of her job, said some awful lies and almost caused her to not get her unemployment benefits.
Riiiiiight.
My completely hypothetical friend had to make the decision on whether or not to be the bigger person. Why? Because she may or may not have known about dirty little sister-in-law secrets.Things that may or may not totally fuck her over. Things that the S I L probably forgot she allowed out into shared air with my friend.
However, she needed to win. Spreading gossip usually doesn’t guarantee a win. Begrudgingly, and with many swear words, she chose to be the bigger person.
A round of applause is in order, because frankly, I don’t know if I could have been the bigger person. You fuck with my kids livelihood…. we got a problem. Mommy gangsta comes out in full affect.
So recently, for the hubs b-day, Renee coordinated a grown n sexy outing. Like it or not, she had to invite the totally hypothetical siblings. An idea was tossed out about ‘accidentally mistyping’ the email address. Whoops!
Genius, right? (Don’t even start with the notion that it was my idea.)
So it was tossed back and forth. I may or may not have encouraged it, but bottom line was that if she left the S I L out, she would never ever hear the end of it.
The bigger person emails the right one, and prays of a conflicting in schedules.
The beeyotch plain doesnt fucking invite her. And smiles about it.
She again chose the adult route. And she prayed to the heavens that the bitch had previously scheduled cunt work to do. (I may or may not have prayed too. Not gonna lie.) Of course she showed. And my hypothetical friend smiled appropriately. But I knew what the truth was. It was written in her eyes like the stars in the sky. (and she sent me a text about it. HAHA)
I am proud of her patience and awesome ability to juggle personalities. I say personalities only because the real Renee is the person that I see… and she screams at her when dealing with such events of chaotic drama to lash out and tell a bitch clean about herself… but the other Renee… the bigger one if you will, restrains her inner gangster.
I have learned from her daily in-law drama that you really have to be grateful for the things you have in your life. Because some people, like my hypothetical friend Renee, don’t have the same blessings that you do.
I bet if you asked her how she does it so flawlessly (and I wont put effortless here because a bitch knows for a fact how much effort is exuded), Renee would tell you that she hasnt a motherfucking clue.
Wicked Wisdom of the Day: At the end of the day, no matter what the cliche saying is used to describe how you did it… (i.e. killing them with kindness) being able to say “I WIN!” is worth every ounce of effort spent doing it.
Advice for Renee? (Keep in mind that this is 5+ years of dealings)
Do you have an in-law horror story to share? (This includes the siblings)
Tags: adult, bigger person, choices, decisions, drama, Family, Friendship, gossip, husband, in laws, love, marriage, mommy, morals, take the cake, win
Scenario-en’
Nov 18, 2008 Random
You are on a first date. Not just with this person, but with any person. It is the first date you have been on in a long time. The 2 of you are vibin’ in a good way. It is a dutch date, so there are no faulty expectations on either end. At the end of the night, your super sexy date invites you in for ‘coffee and conversation’. Between you, me and the computer screen, you havent been laid in HELLA, and the pussy is begging you to let it out of its cage to play.
Do you accept?
Do you initiate more than the ‘c&c’?
A friend confides in you about her desire to fuck a mutual friends significant other. Your friend claims that the feeling is mutual and that they plan to meet up to complete the transaction.
What do you do? How do you react?
You meet an attractive man at the bar. He showers you with compliments, drinks and his attention. Tipsy, you invite him home with you to play. In the middle of the sexual hoop-lah, you notice the wedding ring on his finger.
Finish the scenario.
As you are shopping, you notice a teenager shoplifting. And they aren’t even good at it.
What do you do?
You find a wallet on the ground in the park. No one is within shouting distance. You open it to find 3 crispy hundreds inside.
Do you keep the money?
A fight breaks out at your local watering hole. You have witnessed the entire thing, including the drunk asshole that spouted the ‘N’ word, which is what caused him to get his ass pounded into a hospital bed in the fitst place. The police contact you for any information to lead them to the victims attacker.
What do you do?
In a drunken lapse of judgment, you tell a girl you have a crush on that you want to sleep with her. You havent ever had a bisexual experience before. The next day, she approaches you with a well thought out plan of execution, including toys and other party favors to liven up the girl on girl.
Do you go there with your friend?
A person you have only dated a few times asks you what you want for Christmas.
Do you endulge?
Do you feel obligated to ask them the same?
Do you then buy them a gift out of obligation, or just accept their gift with nothing for them in return?
Tags: choices, christmas, dating, Friendship, infidelity, morality, obligation, Sex, shoplifting
I dont wanna grow up!
Oct 19, 2008 Parenting, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions
Lately I have noticed myself really pondering decisions that need to be made on my part. Things that I would have previously just done childishly, are now on the high road. That sucks. I dont want to always take the bigger person route. Sometimes, I want to be the irresponsible cunt and call a bitch on the carpet, even though I am fully aware of the fact that me making that choice wont do a bit of good.
Ugh. It chaps my ass that I am growing up sometimes. Or that I am grown up. Whatev. Boo.
What bugs me more than that are the people who should be grown up but are not even close. They still go and do selfishly. They still make decisions with no regard of those who are affected. (I dont mean those in the sense of the bitches whos asses need to be called to the carpet… but more the people who are affected by there decisions in their lives)
Just because I want to go to the bar every single night after work and every weekend and get hammered with my co-workers and friends, doesnt mean that I will. Why? Well for one, it is not healthy. But for two, because I have kids. And a husband. I enjoy spending time with them. Sober-like. The thing is, when you cross the line over into responsibility…(i.e. job, kids, spouse… etc) you have to own it. Dont do both. It is unfair to the responsibilities that you have to neglect them for selfish reasons.
Don’t get me wrong, if you are selfish some of the time for good reason… that is only healthy. I am ranting about the people who pawn their kids off as much as possible, or they sign their rights away and run off to another state because they “just cant deal with it”. I am referring to multiple DUI recievers who just cannot give someone their keys, and take other peoples lives into their own hands with little regard. I am even referring to the women with revolving doors of men in front of their kids; setting the example that it is perfectly ok to spread your legs for any Tom, Dick and Harry out there.
If you are reading, and this strikes a cord with you… and, you are possibly offended, first click the back button and scroll down to read my “if thine eye offends thee, pluck it out” and then come back and re-read.
1) I dont give a flying fuck if I offend you.
2) You may need to take this blog and figure out how to be more responsible. Your irresponsibility and my offending you because of it is not my motherfucking problem.
3) Make some changes in your life. Start putting your responsibilities first, or at least think about the choices you make before you make the decision.
In conclusion, fuck you for being a cunt. <– This is a message for specific someones in my life that I am not going to start drama with. If you think it is about you, well maybe you should stop being a dumb guilty cunt and act right for a change. Do the right thing.
Do you have irresponsible people in your life?
Wanna leave them a message about themselves?
Have you ever made irresponsible decisions that you now regret? How did you make it right?
Tags: choices, decisions, drinking, dui, hammered, irresponsibility, neglect, parents, responsibility, revolving door
the house that fantasy built.
Sep 4, 2008 Relationships, Sex
I could be so bad. But I am not.
I, unlike some people, make good decisions.
I could stop by the house that I pass by every single morning and every single afternoon, knock on the door, and perch against the door frame as I wait for him to answer the door. I know he is there. I know he is alone. I know that his wife is at work and wont be home for hours. I know that if I pursed my pouty pink lips just right, he’d become a puddle beneath my pretty pink pumps.
But I refrain. I know that my temptation to be bad would effect not only my desires, but the lives and the happiness of many others in it’s path. I am almost 100% positive that he wonders why I don’t perch. It makes me ponder his reaction to not only his thoughts and desires, but to the fact that I do not sneak over and into his once familiar arms.
Does he long for it?
Does he get a pang of excitement when the doorbell rings, and is he then disappointed to find someone else standing where he pictured me to be?
Or does he even want me there?
This, like many other things that I could do but do not, is just one of those that I will never know the answer to.
Who he is doesn’t matter. What does matter is the fact that there are some of us out there that absolutely would take the risk of making that right turn into the space between the red fence, dab fresh perfume where it mattered, and selfishly press the button that echoes the bell throughout the lives of those they desire.
There are many reasons why I don’t do the things I want to do. I am not scared. I am not insecure, or uncertain to whether or not I would be rejected. It isnt because I am happily married. I mean, it is a part of why… because I absolutely respect my husband and our commitment to each other.. but I also prefer to hold the desire close to me, rather than to act on it. I think that if the fantasy were to become reality, it would not be as amazing as it is in my mind. So maybe it is fear. Fear of disappointment. Fear that my imagination would be severely let down… and quite possibly permanently damaged for daydreams of my future.
My mind creates motion picture masterpieces. Oscar winning performances. I don’t want to take the magic away. From myself. Is that selfish?
Am I the only one who makes the decision to make the responsible decision for my own selfish reasons? What even drives me to think about it long enough to come to such a conclusion??? Is it genetic make up that either turns the switch on or off? Are we born with the sense to think of how our decisions affect every single person around us? Or is it how we are raised? Do the actions of the ones who raise us determine how we behave as adults? Maybe it is both. Or neither. Maybe, some of us just cannot fathom anything or anyone outside of our own selfish bubbles. To put it more traditionally: “Cutting off the nose to spite the face”.
Whatever it is, if you are reading, and this resonates within you on an indescribable level… maybe you should slow your roll and think about exactly who and how you are affecting your place in the universe.
Tell me. Do you have a ‘house that you pass’?
Are there temptations and desires that you have that you have or have not acted on?
Why? Why not?
What drives the decision for you?
Tags: choices, Cutting off the nose to spite the face, desire, fantasy, genetic make-up, infidelity, reality, responsibility, selfish, Sex, temptation
