And The Award(s) Go To….
Jul 7, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Current Events, Family, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Parenting, Random, Sex, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, Wicked Wisdoms, love
ME!
I have been presented with some awards. Awards for blogging. I have seen these little award avatars on other people’s blogs, but … you know … I never really knew what the hell they really meant, or if these so called “awards” were really handed out or created fictitiously by the blogger themselves. I am new to the blog-o-sphere outside of myspace. Sue me.
Apparently these things are real and now I haz 3.
Award #1: Queen of All Things Awe-Summ, given to me by Just A Girl.
The stipulation of award acceptance is that I name seven (7) things that make me uber-awesome. (Trust me. I know saying uber should strip me of my awesomeness but I am so awesome that I am untouchable … so …)
1) I have a piercing that you can only see if you have *also* seen my vagina.
2) I don’t mind being the bad guy. Ever.
3) I have a 6th sense for penis size prediction.
4) I kick ass. Literally.
5) I was not born with a filter. Some say defect, I say blessing. Tomayto/Tomahto.
6) I swing.
7) Uhm, have you met me!? Nuff said.
I pass this Queen of All Things Awe-summm Award on to:
Miss Tricky
LiLu
The Black Tulip
You bitches rock my socks.
Award #2: Keepsake Blog Award, given to me by Pretty Little Tangents
The stipulation of the acceptance of this award is that I post a sweet and funny keepsake that tells a little something about me.
So hear it goes.
All of you should know by now that I have 2 beautifully bratty kids. Xavier is my first born, Charli my baby girl. What many of you probably don’t know is that before Charli, I had 2 miscarriages while we were trying to get pregnant.
So the fact that she came, in this perfect little caramel colored package was icing on the cake for us. Xavier was an easy baby. She, is as difficult as they come … but because of the struggle to have her, and that I wanted her to be a part of our family so badly … she and I have this special bond.
Now that she is growing up and we are able to actually go and do things because she can walk and (kinda) talk, she and I do a great deal together. Where I go, she goes. One of the things that we do is go for walks. Charli loves to collect rocks. It doesnt matter if they are pretty, or if they are a handful of gravel on the side of the road. Charli gets just as excited.
A few weeks ago, she discovered the dandelion seeds. When we would go for walks, she absolutely HAD to stop and blow each one. I was practicing photography for my class and began to just take pics of her.
(Sidenote: Charli HATES having her picture taken. She literally runs from the camera)
I snapped this pic:
And I turned it into:
And this one just makes me smile:
What do these keepsakes say about me? That 1) I love pictures 2) I love my kids and 3) Pictures are keepsakes within themselves.
I am supposed to name 10 bloggers, but I cant so I wont.
Jamie @ Show & Tell
Briana @ Breezy’s World of Crazy
My Pahtnah @ DC Princess
Just A Girl @ Allconsumingego
Jody @ But Momma
Award #3: The Honest Scrap Award given to me by Breezy
The stipulation of acceptance is to write 10 honest things about me.
1) I would be a lesbian before I married another man if D and I were to divorce.
2) I dont usually like other people’s kids.
3) I am addicted to reality television.
4) And coffee.
5) And sex.
6) I wake up with my hands smelling like my vagina. This has occurred since before I can remember.
7) I have a quirky taste in white boys.
I would rather tell a joke than have a serious conversation.
9) I <3 nakedness.
10) I blog/read blogs/facebook more than I work. And now, I am freaking out because people are asking questions. Will I stop? Nope. I will just learn how to multi-task better.
My award recipients:
F.B.
J.P.
Therapy is Effin Expensive
Pretty Little Tangents
Enjoy the tidbits of info I have provided. If you are on here, take it for what you want. Do it, pass it on, dont, whatev. I just kinda like ya and wanted to share you with my own little piece of the blogosphere.
Lastly, I have a statement and a goal.
Statement: Although the Public Memorial of Michael Jackson was a circus, the actual memorial service was both touching and respectable. I appreciated each thoughtful memory as well as the tributes to his life in photographs. I broke down a couple of times, and was deeply saddened when his beautiful daughter choked out her obviously deep devotion to her father. I wish her and her 2 brothers nothing but joy in their futures.
Goal: Find and read other bloggers. I feel like I am stuck in this blog-basement where I am only able to see through gated windows. I need more to read. Please recommend your favorite blogs here… as well as if you are a lurker and you have a blog I should be reading… link here.
XoXoX!
Tags: award, blog, blogging, death, kids, michael jackson, michael jackson memorial
Love and Marriage… Horse and Carriage… You Get It.
Apr 7, 2009 Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
D: “Don’t you think that slit is a little risque for work?”
Me: “Really?”
D: “Yeah, I mean it makes me want to hike it up over your ass and do you. That screams risque to me.”
Me: “Don’t you want to do that anyway, slit or no slit?”
D: “Good point. Wanna f*ck?”
Me: “D! Charli is right there!”
D: “She is the ultimate cock block.”
Me: “There is always Spongebob and Goldfish. That buys us at least 15 minutes.”
D: “With that skirt, all I need is 5.”
Me: “Pumps on or off?”
D: “Really?”
Me: “Good point.”
I used to read a blog that I liked very much that talked a lot about marriage. It cracked me up to read the conversations between them because they paralleled my own married dynamics.
I wonder what ever happened to that blog….? Weird.
Anyway…. as I was blogging.
Today, after I floated out the front door to class (floating = bent-over-the-bed-pretty-pink-pumps-still-on-skirt-hiked-up-kids-coulda-caught-us-but-they-didnt-spontaneous-sex sex) I started thinking about why I love being married.
What!?! I LOVE being married?!?! I know. It sounds preposterous. It is totally unlike a married person to publicly announce their love of all things married. Now, don’t get me wrong. I have some single friends who I envy. They are without any real relationship responsibility… and that fact alone sometimes leaves me longing for just a snippet of what that feels like. I know though, that as soon as I had a taste of it… I would want the old thing back.
I am going to make a list of why I love being married. I love lists.
1) Married sex. Contrary to popular belief, having sex with a different penis/vajay every night is not the business. It really isn’t. What sucks is that in conversation… married sex gets the shit end of the stick.
I say that those people… the ones that complain about married sex, or lack there of was having issues far before vows were spoken and rings were exchanged. Marriage has simply been chosen as the blame-ee. <– See? Shit end of the stick.
2) No more dating. F*ck.Ing.Aye. I hated dating. Haaaaated it. Dating to me was like yanking my f*cking fingernails out. First dates, where you kinda know a person but not really… and then you get in front of them and begin to slowly dissect their mannerisms. “Do they have a lisp?” “Look at their tiny ass hands!” “OMG! This fool chews so god damn loud!”
I swear, before settling down with D, I would date such dumb asses that had no idea what the phrase ‘intelligent conversation’ meant… let alone what each word meant separately.
Don’t make a bitch nod off in her salad. Or want to pull her motherf*cking hair out. I am just saying.
Furthermore, people f*cking lie. And when I say lie, I am referring to the kind of lie where their asses remove themselves from their body in protest of the lie. The “I am not that kind of girl” kind of lie. BULLSHIT. The whole point is to bang. You screw to find out if their penis matches your vagina properly… or vice versa. But, as a woman, we have to act like sex is the last thing on our minds.
So we dont seem easy.
I say f*ck that. A bitch has needs.
Now that I am married… I can just grab D’s cock when I need some sex. Or just give him the look. The one where he knows that it is time to do me sideways. (That usually involves a specific pair of boy shorts or a sexy outfit that I am wearing too…) The point is, I don’t have to play games. I dont have to say a single word. I get what I want when I want it.
3) Comfort and safety. Literally. I know that I can pretty much speak freely about anything in the world when I am talking to my husband. We can try anything, and I know that he knows me and my reactions well enough to understand if it was a good decision. In the moment. I like to try things. I enjoy spontaneity. I want to explore stuff with him that maaaaaybe is not in the book of appropriate things to do. (Yeah there is a book.)
Marriage … actually. Committed relationships are not the ball and chain metaphor. They just aren’t. I am proud to say that I have chosen to spend my time with one person. Maybe it is because I am old…errrr or more mature in my perception of what ‘happiness’ is, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
What is your perception of marriage? Ball and Chain or Happily Ever After?
Do you or DID you enjoy dating? Why or why not?
Are/Were you a “I’m not easy” kinda person on the first date… or did you go with what felt natural… EITHER WAY!?
Tags: ball and chain, blogging, committment, dating, dumbass, first date, I'm not that kind of girl, liar liar pants on fire, love, marriage, safe, Sex
Lost: Inspiration/Found: It and More
Nov 3, 2008 Thoughts and Perceptions
Something happened to me yesterday. Something major. I opened up my unfinished novel, after almost 3 months of not even attempting to finish it and I began to write. I didn’t stop until it was finished.
I have an idea of where the inspiration came from, but I am not sure if it is truth or not… But I watched the entire first season of Californication on Saturday. If you haven’t ever seen it… I absolutely recommend you check it out.
David Duchovny is cast as a cynical prick of a Novelist who is suffering from extreme writers block since his split from his long time girlfriend-slash-babiesmomma. She was his inspiration. At the end, after many episodes of assholish, alcohol induced disfunction, he is able to write again. Granted, his end product had a great deal to do with true-to-life events, but that doesn’t change the fact that he found his inspiration.
He found his inspiration. Seeing him find it (I think) caused me to find mine again.
It feels really good to have accomplished this. I know that most of you who read here that have come from myspace… know of this story. You have waited forever, so my accomplishment means that you get to see it through to fruition… and you get your (infamously referred to) ‘fix’… but for me it is more than that. As much as I am happy to share it, I wrote it for me. Myspace and blogging in general brought the writer out of me. I knew it was there all along, but now it is tangible.
151 pages tangible.
I am so proud of myself. Even if the world never accepts me and my writing, it is mine. I started it, owned it, and finished it. Me. Mine. No one can take that from me.
That is all I have for today.
Do you have anything that you have accomplished that has made you feel this way?
Please share it with me.
Tags: blogging, Californication, David Duchovny, inspiration, myspace, novel, pride, Submissive Confessions, writer, writing
