Living Wicked

An I Don’t Care About Football Blog Etc.

Jan 24, 2010 Etc., Family, Friendship, Random, Sex

Happy Monday!

If you are looking for some awesome discussion about Sunday’s playoff games … you won’t find it here because I really could give a shit about football. When my kid plays football for school, I will give a shit. Until then, it is of zero concern to me.

What I do think is amusing is the banter and opinions and tempers that go into the football games. I like to subtly antagonize it a little bit where I can get in… but that is as far as it goes.

Friday was our little get together for D’s birthday. I was a tad concerned that no one would show, given the fact that D made the decision on TUESDAY *cough*procrastinator*cough* that he actually wanted to have people over that SAME Friday. But we have some pretty great friends who made it through.

Needless to say, Tarable and I got completely inebriated, stayed up until 4am, and then were worthless pieces of shit on my bed for the remainder of the Saturday.

And then Sunday. I pretty much laid in bed until 2pm. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and I whooped both Xavier and D’s ass in Scrabble.

This is how I know I am old. I used to do that shit every single weekend. Sometimes on the weeknights. Puke, rally … repeat. Not anymore. My body pays 10 fold every time I party like a rock star.

Speaking of partying like a rock star … fucking like one is always rad. D and I had the besssssssssssst sex over the weekend. With him adjusting after being gone for 2 months and how hectic our schedule is … and of course how high maintenance my 2 year old is … our sex life has been little to none.

Not gonna lie, I was starting to get worried a little bit.

Last night, I watched a movie called “Rachel’s Getting Married” with Anne Hathaway. It was a really good movie. I enjoy her acting a great deal. If you haven’t seen it, and you like a good touching movie about family and its dysfunction … I highly recommend it.

Well, that is about all I have got.

How was your weekend?
Would you rather live with no elbows or no knees?

Tags: birthday, football, marriage, playoffs, Sex

I am Tired (or) Not too Tired to P-I-M-P.

Jan 20, 2010 I Forgot to Tag

First of all … I wanted to wish D and Carol and Mr. Jacob Good the Happiest of Birthdays.

Or …

Or …

Or even …

And last but not least …

However you like to say it … I wanted to make sure to cover all basis.

And, please go and check out what awesome thing that Lilu is doing for a friend in need. She LovesHarder than anyone I know on the freaking internet other than myself and Numbah1. There is a place to donate some cashola if you are in a place to do so … but if not, well wishes and prayers are always awesome.

Or, you can just click the prettylilbutton:

Speaking of my Numbah1, she has a new column that she writes for. Go show her some love, K!?

I hope you are having a good week so far. I am trying to, but I am off to a rough start.

Got any Jokes? Tell me your best “Yo Mama” joke.

Would you rather: Grow hair everywhere or not grow hair anywhere?

Tags: 50 cent, birthday, love harder, marilyn monroe

The Many Faces of Xavier

Sep 5, 2009 All Things X, Family, Parenting, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, love

Happy Sunday and Labor Day Weekend, friends!

This special weekend edition blog comes to you on the day of my little man’s birth. He turns the big fat 9 years old today.

NINE. Hey-Zeus Creest I feel old.

From conception, this one has been easy-peasy-chicken-greezy. He has always just kinda went with the flow. I would say that he is just like his dad in that sense, and his sister like me with her intensity and diva-like ways. Fitting… right?

Xavier is my little big man. He grew up with me growing up. He watched his dad and all of his uncles go through growing pains themselves … alone and with one another. He has a knack of knowing when to hug his mom just when I need an X hug the most. He manned up when D and I separated, bouncing from my house to D’s … putting up with both of our shit and games and (bigsigh) bullshit when he had no business being a part of it. Nor did he deserve it. But he did it. He smiled big and to be honest, if it weren’t for him and his happiness, D and I would probably not have made it through the rockiest time of our lives.

I love him differently than I do anyone else in this world. I am harder on him than I probably should be. I give him shit as often as possible. I yell too much and hug too little. I expect him to be everything I never was, and forget sometimes to remind him that no matter who he is, I still love him to the ends of the Earth. I think that because we all kind of grew up together … he, D, and me … I just expect him to get it and am reminded often that, just because I grew up … he is still a kid. A good kid. A loving, bright, funny kid with the biggest heart and the most handsome smile.

When I was putting together the slideshow of him growing up, I realized that he has always been the goofy-face-maker. As you can see, he has some sort of face made in all of these pics. I love that about him. (well, except for when I am paying someone to take our pics and he is fucking off with some goofy faces.) I love that he is a comedian … most of the time. I love how smart he is all of the time and smart-assy he is some of the time. He is outgoing. He is confident. He loves clothes and shoes and he is convinced he will be the next Michael Jordan or the next Tony Hawk. Or both. He is sweet. He can write a better rap verse than most grown ass men in the hip hop industry. He gets music and LOVES music. He cares about peoples feelings. He is sensitive and thoughtful. Most importantly, he is the best big brother in the history of big brothers. I couldn’t ask for a better helper.

So this year is the last year of single digits. Next year he will be freaking 10 and I will die of a heart attack thinking about how I birthed a freaking 10 year old. All I see now is his years of puberty ahead of me.

Dear God, What did I get myself into?!?!?!

Enjoy the slides … and of course leave him birthday wishes. He will love to read a blog dedicated to him with his vain behind.

Tags: big brother, birthday, dad, happy birthday, labor day, michael jordan, mommy, nine years old, Parenting, tony hawk, xavier

Considerate Cheating, Etc.

Jun 1, 2009 Family, Fitness Forward, Friendship, Random, This Thing Called Marriage., love

My birthday weekend has come to an end. I didn’t plan on it turning into a weekend of celebrations in my honor, but some really great people surrounded me this weekend and I more than appreciate it.

Also, I shopped for Vegas.

And, I cheated.

I ate a cupcake. One that my son bought for me with his hard earned money.

I ate 3 bites of macaroni and cheese.

I ate a half of a piece of toast.

I ate a small amount of mashed potatoes.

And I only feel bad about the macaroni and cheese.

When D (cautiously) asked me what I wanted for my birthday dessert, I told him that I wanted strawberries and whipped cream. He asked me if I was sure and (of course) I totally was… so he went and found me the SB approved whipped cream.

I have such a newly considerate husband.

He never used to think about things like that before. As long as we had been together, he used to always forget to ask for no mayo on my burgers and sandwiches. He used to forget the drinks that I did or did not like. I learned to deal with it as best as I could, but deep down it bothered me to no end that my own husband, my supposed soul mate couldn’t even remember little things about me.

It all goes back to the little things. You may not think that him taking a moment to stop and find the Cool Whip that is SB approved is important, but I do. It means that he supports me. That he takes me seriously, and knows that as small of a gesture as it is… that it means the world to me.

All in all, it was a great birthday. Thanks to my friends who drank mimosas on Sunday, and all of the messages with Happy Birthday wishes that I recieved all day yesterday and today. I really feel special. And unconditionally loved.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

(Feel free to share your progress)

What is your favorite birthday memory?
What is your favorite birthday cake?

Tags: birthday, birthday cake, friends, presents

Bon VOYAGE! + Random = This Blog

May 19, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Current Events, Family, Friendship, Masturbate-able, Parenting, Random, Relationships, The Tarably Wicked Show, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, bitch

D: “So I talked to my Uncle tonight”
Me: “Mmmmhm…”
D: “A couple of my cousins are graduating and he wants to coordinate a family get together around that time.”
Me: (inside voice groan) “Mmmmhm”
D: “So he wants me to come and cook.”
Me: “When?”
D: “2nd weekend of June”
Me: “Okay… what about the kids?”
D: “They are coming with.”
Me: (inside voice cheer) “That will be great for them!”
D: “Do you want to come with?”
Me: “Would you be mad if I said no?!”
D: “I guess not.”
Me: “Sweet. Then um yeah but no.”
D: “Bitch.”

I will now display the level of my excitement in the form of animated dance images.

Do you all know what this means?

4 days of whateveriwannadowithnobodytobeinmybusiness. This never happens. Ever.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and my D. I love D’s family. All of them. But for me, that is a great deal of chaos. Travelling with 2 kids… a shit ton of family in one saturated location… and… I know that for 4 days I would be going non-motherfucking-stop. I already go non-stop. Every single day. So excuse me if I am not interested in this trip. Like, at ALL. Furthermore, excuse me if I AM interested in my quiet house with me in it.

I dont know what I am gonna do exactly… but I do know that part of it will include whateveriwannadowithnobodyinmybusiness. The End.

This list includes but is not limited to:

Endless masturbation
Naked all over the house
Gym Gym Gym Gym
Sitting in complete silence, possibly while masturbating
More masturbation
No curfew
No waking up to X tapping me on the shoulder at 7 AM “Mom can I have a pop-tart”
No waking up to Charli “MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!” at whatever fucking time she feels like waking up at.
Masturbation.
Reading a book.

Also, I wanted to say a public “I told you so” to my good friend Rachael. She knows why. It may or may not have to do with the John and Kate Plus 8 scandal. She and I already had this discussion however I enjoy being right. So there. Love ya Rach.

I was reading a really great and not at all one sided article/blog about this 66 year old woman in Britain who had to go to the Ukraine to get some medical assistance to get pregnant. At first I was kinda like “Whatever she wants to do, let her do” but then in reading and pondering all that is involved in her effort to conceive a child… I kinda think that maybe she should opt to adopt. (Oooh that rhymed. I rule!) The reason I say this is because I think that she honestly is too old to begin having kids.

For one, she is almost 70 years old. When the baby is born she will be at least 67 if not 68. Add 18 years to that. She would be an 86 year old mother when her child/ren (if she had more than 1) turned 18. That is quite old to have young adults as children. Sooner than later she will need for them to take care of her. IF she is healthy enough to live that long. Or if she remembers them up to that point. My grandmother was right about 85 years old when she passed away… and she began dealing with Alzheimers Disease a good 5-6 years prior to that. That we know about.

We can be as preventative as we want to be, but some things are inevitable. I personally think that, as she does have a right to do what she wants, it is a tad selfish to birth child/ren at that age.

What do you think?

I think know I want to go rollerskating for my birthday. I told Tarable that I wanted to couples skate with her and she made fun of me.

Tara: we could do a dual b-day for the both of you

On that note, I am out. I actually should probably do some work today.

Would you come rollerskating for my birthday?
What is your favorite: 80’s hip-hop song? Hair Band song? Pop song?
What would you do with 4 days kid-husband-less…?

Tags: 66 year old pregnant woman, 80's music, birthday, butch, john and kate plus eight, patrick swayze, rollerskate, shes like the wind