Born to Inspire
Aug 4, 2009 All Things Charli, Creative Writing/Poetry, Family, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, bitch
Happy Hump Day!
DC Princess AKA Q AKA Numbah 1 AKA Sistah from anotha mistah has a pretty kick ass contest/giveaway going on over on her blog. All you have to do is click the link, read, and finish the sentence: Born to ______. She will take care of the rest. (You should follow her on Networked Blogs too. Just saying)
The title to today’s blog is what my answer was. Reading a lot of the other answers, I felt kinda cheated. I think that Q is seeking thoughtful answers. Answers that come from the persons heart. To speak to who they are individually. If I was her, I would be.
My answer is true to me. I enjoy motivating other people to do good. Be it good for themselves, or good for others.
The other day I was talking to a co-worker about my progress with South Beach. She has been looking to make a change, but wasnt sure how or if it would work for her and in her lifestyle. The thing that she worried about, I worried about: How will my family work around my dieting. When we talked about how D and the kids simply add a starch to the same meal I enjoy… and I have extra veggies, I think she was sold. I linked her… and off she went.
Another friend mentioned that my (yes I know FINALLY) publishing Submissive Confessions *cough*haveyouboughtyoursyet*cough* inspired her thinking. She might pull some of her work together and also self-publish. This makes me super duper happy.
And then, I think I helped another friend figure out what she wanted to do for her blog layout. She was experience creative blockage. That sucks more than anything… to want so badly to be creative, but be completely stuck in a rut.
Not that I am blowing smoke up my own ass or anything, which I often do I know… but it just feels really good to help people feel good about themselves. In whatever way I can. Inspiration = happiness. At least for me anyway.
In other news, Charli is the biggest brat on the planet. I am not sure if I have ever seen such a bratty display of the terrible 2’s ever. I desperately need to get her into a playgroup. She needs to learn to share. She beats and bosses the hell out of her brother, and I am not sure that it is a healthy learning progression for her. She knows that she can tell him what to do and get her way. In another environment, I think that it will be a different dynamic.
On a good note, she pooped on the potty the other day. We cheered, did the “Charli pooped on the potty dance and high 5″ and went about our business.
From then on though, she hasn’t. Whenever I ask… no matter if she has to/has gone/needs to go… the answer is always “NO” when I ask about the poop. She will tell D and X the truth, right in front of my face. But when I ask, in the same moment of a “YES” to her daddy… I get a “NO MOMMY!”
WTF?!
Speaking of business, the naked cunt-whore coffee stand that I putmyfootdownbutDstillgoestoseeanyway so the foot down was not effective at all… has a new slut. Today, she was wearing skull and crossbones pasties. Even the most avid pirate lovers should see the tacky in this display.
D: “Mia–”
Me: “does she really need to have a name? Cant you just use dumbnakedcoffeewhore? A name associated makes me want to punch you in your junk”
D: “Sorry. dumbnakedcoffeewhore was wearing skull and crossbones pasties.”
Me: “Defamation of pirate character. Did you say “Arrrrrrrgh” to her?”
D: “uhh no. But she totally put my change in her thong and stuck her ass out the window so I could … uhm … retrieve it.”
Me: Blink Blink.
D: (cracking up.)
Me: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”
D: (dying)
Me: “Guess who is going to be a good wife and get you coffee tomorrow?”
D: “You are so cute when you are protective.”
Me: “If by protective you mean punch her in her ass when she hands me my change back normally tomorrow.”
D: “what?.”
Me: “I better get my change returned to me in the exact same way as you did.”
D: “What do you mean?”
Me: “The change receipt procedure should be the exact same for all customers.”
D: “She isnt gonna do it.”
Me: “I know she isnt. Wait til you see the look on her face when I ask her why you received it out of her ass crack, and I am stuck with hand to hand contact.”
D: “You wont.”
Me: “Bet.”
To be continued…
Finish the sentence! “Born to ______” (tell me AND Q)
Also…….. What was your favorite saturday morning cartoon growing up?
Tags: barista, born to smile, coffee, gap jeans, inspiration, kid, mommy, potty training, terrible 2
This is Why I am Anti-Starbucks + 1 Open Letter = Friday
Jun 4, 2009 DUH, Fitness Forward, Ranteriffic, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, Yum... or Lack There Of., love
This morning in the drive thru of Starbucks
(which, if you knew me is UNHEARD of for me to ever do because true Seattle-ites have baristas who are small business owners and we pay them to make cheaper, better coffee … instead of padding the corporate executive pockets… but I am really broke right now and received gift cards… and am in need of coffee… so a bitch gotta do what a bitch gotta do.) D and I experienced probably the dumbest broad on the planet.
Like, the duuuuuuuuuuuuuumbest.
I was also reminded as to why I love my husband. I was also reminded of the fact that we are not morning people. So leave the chirp at the door bitch.
Dummy: “HI! Welcome to Starbucks! What can I start for you?!”
D: “A tall, iced, quad, skinny peppermint latte please.”
Dummy: “An iced Venti latte?”
D: “No. A TALL (pause) ICED (pause) QUAD (pause) skinny peppermint latte.”
Dummy: “Okay a tall iced skinny peppermint latte. Quad shot?”
D: “Yes. And a grande white caramel mocha. Iced as well.”
Dummy: “Did you want white chocolate or dark chocolate?”
D: (looking at me, irritated.) “Isnt a white mocha a white mocha BECAUSE of the motherfucking chocolate?”
D: “White chocolate.”
Dummy: “I will have your total at the window.”
D: “This bitch cannot be that dumb.”
Me: “It is us. Of course she can be.”
So we pull up to the window. We waited for like ever before she opened the window and handed D out a VENTI motherfucking LATTE. D looks at me and I look at this bitch. Like, looooooooooooooked at this bitch.
Have any of you NOT seen my look?
Me: “This is like a gallon of coffee. It is like 3 servings of coffee for me.”
D: “Do you want me to have them make you another one?”
Me: “No way. I dont want her head to explode. It is too fucking early for all of this.”
Dummy: “So what are you guys going to do today? Have anything fun planned?”
D: “Not anymore. Apparently our plans have changed to drink a shit load of unasked for coffee for the remainder of the morning.”
Dummy: (looking puzzled as I am fucking DYING laughing) “I dont understand what you mean…”
D: “Offfffff course you dont.”
Me: (snort)
1) The coffee was nasty. But this is not a surprise. This is day 2 of gift card funded beverages. Both days were fucking nasty.
2) I couldnt even finish HALF of this coffee. I dont need 46y742q3 gallons of coffee to get me through the day.
3) Starbucks is NOT the business.
Dear Nosy Co-Worker,
Yes I blasted your ass yesterday. I am tired of your big fat nose in everyones big fat business. Your ‘joke’ wasn’t really a joke… you were being a fucking cunt so that you could finally be invited to the gossip session. Guess what? No one wants you to be in it. You meddle like a mother in law and I am so sick of every time I get off of the phone having to hear your fucking comments about some business that isnt yours.
Stop asking everyone but the person you are asking about about their business. Knock it the fuck off.
So yes. I told you about yourself. Bluntly and matter-of-factly. Yes I did tell you to MYOB and I also told you about your mouth. I am also pretty sure that I told you about how your joke was inappropriate and hurtful and if it was in fact a joke, that you would have sent it to the person it was about and not to everyone EXCEPT for her. Pretty sure.
So your huffy pouting isnt effective. In fact, survey says: “WE LIKE YOU BETTER WHEN YOU SHUT UP AND POUT.”
I do not feel sorry for you. I will tell you about yourself again if necessary.
Respectfully,
Cunt-ni.
Happy Friday Friends!
Do you have a drive thru funny to share!?
And, just like every Friday… Purge here in open letter format so that you can enter the weekend and fully enjoy it!
P.S. FFC:
I am doing so well with eating. I have cheated here and there but have made smart choices. (I had 3 fries and a strawberry yesterday) I haven’t weighed yet this week but I will this weekend when I go to the gym.
I am struggling with working out right now. But, finals slash this quarter are pretty much over so I will have plenty of gym time and a full month to work the fuck out. 7 days of exercise plus SB = good to go for Vegas.
How are you doing?
Tags: barista, coffee, drive thru, south beach phase 1, starbucks
