A Blog About Parents: Part 1
Jun 23, 2009 Family
My parents specifically. At Squish’s request.
This is an intro kinda to who they are in relationship to me and how we got here.
I am still pondering what specifically intrigues her about my parents … other than how freaking awesome they happen to be. Mostly anyway. I didn’t always think that they were though. In fact back in the day, I used to think that my parents were the strictest, dumbest people on the planet to ever live in the history of parents.
‘Used to’ being the key phrase.
My parents and I have an interesting relationship. I know now that when I don’t like something that they have to say… I politely with an attitude say good bye and hang up or leave. Usually when I dont like what I am hearing it is because they are telling me the truth. I am going to eventually want to hear the truth, but sometimes my dad chooses to shove it down my throat at the most inopportune fucking times sometimes. I love that with us, what you see is what you get. I don’t have to lie. I don’t have to pretend that everything is wonderful. If they want to drop by, I don’t feel like I need to rush around and make my house pristine. It might just be fucking messy. And if it is… they don’t judge me for it. My parents just kinda get it. And me. They get that I am pretty much not going to front about shit, and that, no matter what… I am always going to be me. I love that my parents have just accepted and embraced me for who I am… and not try to mold me into something that they think I should be.
Because of the above, I can say that I am blessed. And mean it. I know this because when I talk to other people about how they have to hide a part of themselves in order to please their parents … I have had to bite my tongue … because I am confused as to who in the hell these parents think they are for making their kids lives such turmoil that they can never really be themselves around them?
If you were to ask me who I am more like … my mom or my dad … I would have to say my dad. My dad and I didn’t really begin our relationship until I got back from boot camp. When I was little, I was all about some “daddy’s girl”. Even as a teenager, I knew that with just the right tone… I could pretty much get what I wanted. When it was good it was great. When it was bad though, ask anyone who was around us back then. It was bad.
I remember one time during one of our biggest fights, my dad and I were in each others faces. We were yelling. I am sure I told him to fuck himself. If I would have had the ability to step out of my body to see what I was doing, I probably would not have been in my dads face like that. With no fear. No capacity about how my father (have you ever seen my dad?) could have broken my little 16 year old ass in half if I said just the right (read: wrong) thing to set him off in that moment.
And believe me. I tried as hard as I could to make my dad the purplest piece in life as often as I could. Did I pick fights with him? Yep. I sure did. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it was because as much as I knew that he could knock me cold the hell out with one punch… he never would.
This also leads me to my next thought. The reason I never fought with my mom this way was because she would knock me out. And she did. It only took once. I don’t remember what I said, but it was something to the effect of calling her a “bitch” and/or “fuck you” during a disagreement. She hauled off and slapped the shit out of me.
I am pretty sure that the only time I ever cuss at my mom in an angry moment now is when we are on the phone. And even then. My mom has a mean left hook. I am not really trying to fuck with her.
So I am frustrated with this blog and I am going to end it here. Squish, if you are out there… I need some direction. What intrigues you? What do you want to know? I could go in so many ways… and because of that I am not even sure if this blog even makes sense.
Do you want to hear more about the parents? If so, what?
What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?
If you could pick celebrity parents, who would they be and why? (They dont have to be a couple)
TMIThursday: You Just Love My Doggystyle?
Jun 17, 2009 Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Relationships, Sex, Suck It!, TMI Thursday's, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked & D Quotables, love
Hello my gluttons for TMI Punishment!
You know the drill… I blog about totally inappropriate shit… (sometimes literally) and sometimes, you throw up in your mouth a bit.
If you are interested in participating, reading more train wreck worthy blogs… Click the pic below and enter the hub of TMI Thursday….
When I first hooked up with D and we moved in together, we fucked like rabbits. (Not to say that we dont anymore. Read: we dont) We did all sorts of crazy things in crazy places at crazy times … sometimes with crazy guests.
So this one time, during a Crown Royal induced new couple fuck-fest, D and I were in that heated moment. You know the one where either one of you could get off at any moment (or in my case the BIG ‘O’ face … not the mini O’s that had happened prior to) but don’t reeeeally want to stop so you think about grammabaseballthat hairyguywholivesnextdoor(eww) so that you have the opportunity to prolong the “O”.
Ya with me? Sweet.
Anyway, we are in bed (for once) totally getting down. D is half standing, half kneeling on the bed while I am all pretty and my arse is propped up on a pillow. He is doing his best to prove whatever point it was he was trying to get across (if my memory serves me correctly this session very well was an “I fucking hate your face” session. Most of them were early on in our relationship) and I was … well, I was probably screaming profanities about it.
I.E.
“FUCK ME HARDER!”
“I LOVE YOUR COCK YOU SONOFABITCH”
“OMFG”(but in full text not IMism)
“FUCK YES!”
etc.
Anyway, all of a sudden he starts to make more noise than what he normally would make. The noises were familiar to a certian situation… but not this situation.
D was making blow-job/salad tossing noises.
So I kinda stop and look at his face at the very moment that he was realizing what was happening: Our friends dog who we had over at our house to mate with our dog was tongue deep in his business.
That’s what he said.
Actually, he said something more vulger.
I.E.
“WHAT THE FUCK!”
(to me) “THAT WASNT YOU?! I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR FINGERS LIKE WET OR SOMETHING FOR A MINUTE! ”
“BOLO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!”
“OMG. I HAVE TO SHOWER. RIGHT NOW.”
etc.
I tried really hard not to laugh that day. (read: I laughed my ever loving ass off when he was in the shower, when he made the dog sleep outside because he was SO mad, and when he pouted for like the rest of the week about it.)
Even when I just texted him to ask him could I blog about it (of course I asked what kind of a wife do you think I am? (dont answer that.)) I got an “I guess” in response. $100 says he is pouting about me asking and actually doing right now. Wanna know how I know? I sent him another text: “I could say it is someone else’s story” and I got IGNORED.
I dunno what to tell him. If we can’t laugh at ourselves… right?!
What is your most embarassing/TMI sex moment?
What is your favorite Fair/Carnival Ride?
Tags: argument, doggystyle, grudge. new relationship, Sex
Arm Wrestling With Apologies
Apr 12, 2009 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Plunges, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
You wanna know what is awesome?
Being able to admit fault.
I think that the ability to take a step back and re-live a moment that you may or may not have had a part in, admitting your fuck-ups, and then moving on is an attribute that many do not possess. I think it is because it is easier for people to blame shift and make excuses. It takes a strong individual to really have the balls to stand up and say “My Bad” or “I apologize for my part in this fucked up situation” and truly be genuine about it.
I hate forced apologies. That is why I rarely apologize. No shit. In the almost 10 years that I have been with D, I have made pro-active apologies (meaning me initiating them) maybe 20 times. And we fight a lot. We used to anyway… like, we went 2-3 years at the beginning of our marriage fighting on a daily, even hourly basis. Many fights that I initiated.
Did I initiate the apology after? Nope.
In fact, if you know me… I will do pretty much everything EXCEPT apologize. And when I have, they have almost always been in a card that has a pre-written “I’m sorry” inside of it with some cute animal with sad eyes holding a heart on the front. D has a shoe-box full of them.
This is more of an “Old Wicked” trait than a new. I am better at owning responsibility then I used to be… so now if I am truly at fault, and I know it… I will throw out those horrid words.
“I am sorry.”
Blah. Old or new, past or present… I would rather eat my arm off sometimes than utter an apology.
But I do it. I suck in all of the reasons why I don’t want to, I brush the cunt off of my shoulder that is insisting that whatever bitch thinks they deserve an apology from me can suck it… and I just plunge into that moment of humility.
A heartfelt apology means so much to someone who truly deserves it.
That is all I’ve got today folks. Hope you are having a great Sunday evening-slash-Monday morning.
So… Do you struggle with apologies?
Do you try to do other things to avoid apologies? What?
What is the hardest apology that you have ever had to suck up and own?
Tags: apologies, argument, awesomeness, blame shift, excuses, humility, i'm sorry, marriage, plunge
The Significance of Ice Cream
Apr 2, 2009 All Things X, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
This started off differently.
I was fighting with D when I finally got a chance to blog this evening.
I hate it when we fight. I hate that he is right more than I am. (I will only admit this to you.) I hate that he has the ability to make me feel so small with a simple statement. At the same time, I hate that I say hurtful things. But sometimes, when I get angry… They just fall out of my mouth like marbles.
Especially when I feel attacked.
Then, as I laid here in the dark spewing randomosity in the form of a blog-list, (which is what I do when I don’t have anything of substance to blog about but I feel like I should be blogging) he appeared in the doorway to our bedroom.
“I come in peace.” He said.
In his hands he held a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream. Just 1 scoop. In a pretty pink and white cardboard cup with a matching pink plastic spoon.
*sigh*
What is so significant about the ice cream?
There are 2 reasons why it is so thoughtful:
1) Chocolate Chip is the only ice cream that I really like, and not very many brands sell it. If they do, it really isnt very good.
2) When I was pregnant with Xavier, D would bring me a scoop of Baskin Robbins chocolate chip ice cream every night after work. We were literally dirt poor because we lived in a small military town… so while he was looking for a job, he would get up at 5 am and go to Labor Ready, even if it brought just enough money for gas and dinner.
It doesn’t even matter what he said or why I got mad. What matters is that when it is time to say “I’m sorry”, he knows exactly what to do to melt the icy, silent exterior around my heart. Not many people really know how to do that.
It seems silly to some but these little things are precisely why I married him.
I have never been the girl who needed dozens upon dozens of roses, or lavish gifts from the person I love. I just need a little token. A thoughtful gesture that says everything I need to hear at that moment.
Anyway, all of the sarcasm and jokes aside… he is the jelly to my peanut butter. I am truly blessed to have such a funny, sexy, doesn’t-put-up-with-my-shit and thoughtful husband…
Our love is hands down the reason why I believe in true love as much as I do.
Happy Friday!
What is the most romantic “little thing” that you have done for someone you love?
Has anyone done a thoughtful “little thing” for you?
Tags: argument, baskin robbins, chocolate chip, fight, ice cream, labor ready, little thing, love, make-up, marriage, Relationships, right, romance, sarcasm, thoughtful, token, wrong
Paparazzi Piranha’s in the Heat of Passion
Feb 27, 2009 Current Events, Ranteriffic, Relationships, Sound Off/Debate, Thoughts and Perceptions
This blog is probably going to piss at least one person off. If you are the one person… well… I hope you get over it soon. Please feel free to share why you are pissed off and lets work it out. If you cannot do that, I get it.
Cei la vie.
I am going to stand up and say that, although I stand behind Rhianna and that I hope that she makes it through this and grows into a strong woman from this horrible experience, that I am fed up with all of the negative commentary being thrown in Chris Brown’s direction. Yep. I am.
What he did was horrible. Inexcusable. At least, what the media says he did. We have yet to hear both sides of the story. In fact, we have yet to really hear either side. It irritates me to no end that our media feeds on these people like piranha’s who haven’t eaten in months. Not even just these 2… any and all unfortunate situations are blown into these frenzies of rumors and gossip that when boiled down… hold little truth or accuracy to the original situation.
Chris Brown needs help. He needs to go and figure out what it is that triggered him to cross the line and put his hands on a woman. Rhianna or a stranger, he should have never crossed that line. He obviously should already know that you never put your hands on a woman. Unless she is begging you to … uhh … That is entirely other blog. My point is that he should have been taught by his mama to not beat the crap out of a female, no matter how much of a cunt she is being. Not that his mama is responsible for whatever took place between them. He simply should have already known. Honestly, I am pretty sure he already does/did know.I think that in the heat of passion, he made a very bad mistake.
In the heat of passion. How many of us have made a horrible decision in the heat of passion? Be honest. I have. My husband has. I wont even go into the detail of some of the inexcusable things that he and I have done to each other when anger and alcohol and love mix together into this powerful, uncontrollable super-emotion. It has taken over all of my better judgment. It has made me irrational and frankly, really fucking stupid.
The problem with me is that these 2 have not had an opportunity to figure it out. Whatever figuring it out means for them. How in the hell is anyone supposed to have a civil conversation with the one that they love in front of the bazillion flashes of a camera?! How is he supposed to truly show her remorse… if he cannot get a moment alone with her… to look into her eyes and let her see that he knows the mistake he made?
Not all acts of abuse turn into full on abusive relationships. How do I know? Because we have survived. D and I were abusive to each other. We were volatile and hurtful and frankly I dont always understand how we did it… but we did.
I think that it is time that we leave these 2 young people alone to sort out and try to salvage whatever they can from this horrible incident, and at least if nothing else, walk away from it amicably.
/Rant.
What have you done or said in the heat of passion that you regret?
Tags: abuse, argument, chris brown and rhianna, heat of passion, love, paparazzi, piranha, Relationships
