Arm Wrestling With Apologies
Apr 12, 2009 DUH, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Plunges, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
You wanna know what is awesome?
Being able to admit fault.
I think that the ability to take a step back and re-live a moment that you may or may not have had a part in, admitting your fuck-ups, and then moving on is an attribute that many do not possess. I think it is because it is easier for people to blame shift and make excuses. It takes a strong individual to really have the balls to stand up and say “My Bad” or “I apologize for my part in this fucked up situation” and truly be genuine about it.
I hate forced apologies. That is why I rarely apologize. No shit. In the almost 10 years that I have been with D, I have made pro-active apologies (meaning me initiating them) maybe 20 times. And we fight a lot. We used to anyway… like, we went 2-3 years at the beginning of our marriage fighting on a daily, even hourly basis. Many fights that I initiated.
Did I initiate the apology after? Nope.
In fact, if you know me… I will do pretty much everything EXCEPT apologize. And when I have, they have almost always been in a card that has a pre-written “I’m sorry” inside of it with some cute animal with sad eyes holding a heart on the front. D has a shoe-box full of them.
This is more of an “Old Wicked” trait than a new. I am better at owning responsibility then I used to be… so now if I am truly at fault, and I know it… I will throw out those horrid words.
“I am sorry.”
Blah. Old or new, past or present… I would rather eat my arm off sometimes than utter an apology.
But I do it. I suck in all of the reasons why I don’t want to, I brush the cunt off of my shoulder that is insisting that whatever bitch thinks they deserve an apology from me can suck it… and I just plunge into that moment of humility.
A heartfelt apology means so much to someone who truly deserves it.
That is all I’ve got today folks. Hope you are having a great Sunday evening-slash-Monday morning.
So… Do you struggle with apologies?
Do you try to do other things to avoid apologies? What?
What is the hardest apology that you have ever had to suck up and own?
Tags: apologies, argument, awesomeness, blame shift, excuses, humility, i'm sorry, marriage, plunge
