Random Air Humps
Apr 16, 2009 All Things Charli, All Things X, Current Events, Masturbate-able, Out of Wicked's Mouth, Parenting, Random, Relationships, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, bitch
Happy Friday!
Woooooooooooooo!
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Alriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhht!
(this is about to be the most random blog you have seen from me in awhile. thank lack of sleep and too much shit to stuff into my brain.)
*air humps*
I swear to God, ever since the other day when D thought that air humping about everything was an acceptable answer, I have been obsessed with the act.
*air humps*
I need to make a decision. Like, I love being busy on the weekends, having this thing called a productive life… but at the same time I yearn to be braless on my chaise, remote in one hand… something-chocolatey-and-also-salty in the other (no, not D’s cock… but now that you mention it… *air humps*) laptop… well, on my lap. If I could be lazy and get away with it, I still wouldn’t.
Who actually wants to live their life by the teet of the television/tivo/dvr bullshit?
So I guess this means that I made the decision. I will just long for laziness… while running endless errands.
This decision gets no air humps.
Charli is a fucking crack-up. Yesterday, I yelled for Xavier to get his ass in the house.
Me: (outside yelling for him) “XAAAAAAAAAVIER!!!!!!!!!!”
X: “YEAHHHHHHHHHH”
Me: “IT IS TIME TO COME INSIDE!”
X: “CAN I HAVE 10 MORE MINUTES?!”
Me: “NO! COME ON!!!!!!!!!”
X: “MOMMMMMMM PLEAAAAAASE!?”
Me: “BOY! GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!”
For the rest of the night, every time Charli saw X: “BOY! GETCHOASSINTHAHOUSE!”
Clear as a motherfucking bell. Xavier was not amused. Heh. I was.
*air humps*
Speaking of humping:
D: “You are wearing the shorts.”
Me: “Huh?” <— famous last words
D: (all of a sudden on top of me.) “I think you put them on to play pussy games with me.”
Me: (pretending to be unaware of what this means) “Pussy games!?”
D: “Bitch dont play.”
Me: (bending over to pick up a piece of lint on the carpet.) “I am not sure I understand.”
The rest of the convo is considere pornography and could get the site blocked. In case you are lost….
I swear we go through the craziest phases. Sometimes we cannot keep our hands off of each other. Sometimes, I look at him and he looks at me and we give each other the middle finger. Either way, It works. I think right now it is because 1) I am pretty and 2) I am at school again. The less we see each other the more we boogie.
I like it that way.
Speaking of porn, I was watching this clip the other day where I swear to God, this bitch talked through the entire free 5 minute clip of her getting the ever living shit f*cked out of her. What is going on with porn these days? Can I get a free porn clip that does not have this dumb broad holding steady dialogue???
Shut the f*ck up porn star. If we wanted to hear you speak we would watch you on a MOTION PICTURE.
Am I alone in the loathing of the talking porn star?
Is my hand the lone one raised when the question of shut up and get f*cked is asked?!
Sheesh.
Also, my new second favorite word is taint. It is close in the runnings with cunt.
Lastly, (deep breath)
Maybe Jaime Foxx has a point about Miley Cyrus. Maybe it was spoken harshly, but I dont necessarily disagree with the intent.
The Sunday School Teacher that killed that little girl needs to get fucked with a rusty pipe until she bleeds to death.
Hulk Hogan is bat shit crazy, but haven’t we all wanted to murk a bitch?!
Mel Gibson is a douche.
Some one beat the shit out of those 2 Dominoes Pizza employees with a library full of phone books. Dont fuck with peoples food. It isnt funny.
Nobody cares about Bristol Palins baby daddy.
(exhale)
Share your own Friday random.
What are your weekend plans?
Doggy-style or Cowgirl?
What is your favorite word? Why?
