Red Wine = <3
Sep 1, 2010 Out of Wicked's Mouth, Wicked Wisdoms
Yes. I am writing a blog about my love of red wine. How it is love in my mouth. How, when it hits my lips I smile.
Am I a drunk? Sometimes.
Must I have it in my mouth at all times? No.
So that makes it acceptable. (I just put my foot down.)
Anyway. Back to my <3 of wine that is red and currently in my mouth. <-- WOO!
I <3 red wine because it stains my teeth a little when I drink it.
I <3 red wine because my tummy gets warm. So do my cheeks. On the inside.
I <3 the smell of the cork when it first gets cracked open.
I <3 cheers-ing my lady friends and having great conversation over a glass of red wine. (or 9)
I <3 red wine sex. It is a warm kissy make-out sex.
Red wine also has health benefits. (oh yeah. I am motherfucking going there right now.) For one, it is a stress reducer. I can promise you that I am infinitely less stressed out after drinking s e v e r a l glasses. It has antioxidants in it, lowers cholesterol and helps heart problems. Some people believe that red wine helps prevent Alzheimer’s. (if this is the case I swear to God I will never forget a motherfucking thing ever until I take my last breath.)
*gulp*
That’s all I got.
Tell me something that will make me laugh. Go!
‘Scuse Me … I Just Vomited In This Blog.
Aug 29, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Etc., Fitness Forward, Friendship, Out of Wicked's Mouth, P.O.E. Biz, Parenting, Random, Ranteriffic, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
Today is as good a day as any to write a blog about things that have been 1) happening 2) not happening and 3) wandering around my thoughts like a transient.
Can you picture a transient with their backpack-on-a-stick in my head? Can ya?
What exactly is today though? Today is Friday. That is it. It is not a special day by any means. It is a Friday just like any other Friday. Instead of doing what I am supposed to be doing which is my job – I am sitting here pondering what this blog will discuss.
(by the time you are reading it though, it could very well be Sunday or Monday … but whatever.)
(Sorry K.A.)
Shit, this blog might turn in to more than one if it gets too lengthy. I may very well word vomit the fuck out of your eyes if I get a wild hair.
Don’t tempt me.
This brings me to my first thought: Should I even still blog here? It doesn’t seem like I have very many people interested in what I have to say anymore. Not that I necessarily blog for people specifically, but the commentary usually consists of 25% real comments 75% spam about a god damn vibrator website or something?
Hmmmmm … Are these spambots trying to tell me something?
Today I am wearing my fat pants. They are jeans that I haven’t worn in over a year because they were falling off of me. Literally. Not today. No way. They are quite fitted today and that actually sent me to tears over it this morning when I was looking in the mirror.
The reason behind me wearing my fat pants today might have a little something to do with the hand-to-mouth issue I have been having lately.
11PM chocolate doughnut in my mouth? Not helping.
Mashed potatoes? Not helping.
I cannot even remember all of the stupid stress/emotional/pitypartyaboutmyfatness eating I have done as of late but because of it I have gone backwards instead of forward. Now my cute clothes clothes don’t fit and I feel like shit.
So here I sit, wearing my fat pants feeling all crappy about it. And as I re-read this last thought, I am like “fuck should I really even write it? It sounds all whiny and pathetic to even be talking about it yet AGAIN. Maybe I should shut up and run my fat ass to the gym more than once in a blue moon.”
Or maybe I will do both.
Just because I fell off the wagon and picked up 10lbs along the way doesn’t mean that I cant catch back up to it and hop on.
Yeah to some it is “only 10lbs” or “you have picked up a little weight, it isn’t a big deal” but it is a lot of pounds and an even bigger deal to me. To me I can feel it from the inside out and I am not a fan. If I could find the central location of said 10lbs and click the dislike button on them I would.
That also means I am now 25 pounds from my goal. Damnit.
Moving on.
I have an opinion about specific people lately that I have spent a lot of energy keeping to myself. It is probably why there has been an absence in my blogs. Because there becomes a point where no matter how unsugarcoated and blunt I am … there is a line where too blunt could cause a rift in other peoples lives who have little to do with any of my opinions. One has to be careful when being blunt as an adult sometimes which I think is bullshit.
What I will say though is that I absolutely despise flakes. I think that Mrs. Good is my #1 advocate on this very subject actually. I am pretty sure that she could go on for hours about it if she had the time. The fact is flakiness = inconsideration for others. I am too old to have this lack of consideration in my life.
This is how non-flakiness is supposed to work:
Friend: “Lets make plans for Tuesday”
Other Friend: “Perfect! Give me a call when you have an idea what time you will be free!”
Friend: “For sure!!
Fast forward to Tuesday. What is supposed to happen is the friend is supposed to call the other friend. Why? Because that friend was the plan initiator. The other friend is the plan recipricator. The other friend goes about their business as any other Tuesday business would go. What actually happens is the friend never calls. Not to confirm or to cancel. The friend just lets the day come and go and thinks that it is okay.
Non-flakes call. They say things like “Man, I am so sorry that I cannot make it. I overbooked myself today. Can we reschedule?” How freaking simple is that? I am just wondering because fuck if people have no clue how to do this simple step.
Furthermore, there comes a point where people need to be held accountable for their actions. I will (reluctantly) be the first to admit when something is my bad. I will (force myself through gritted teeth) to apologize when I am wrong. What I will not do is try and let time pass and act as if just because 2 weeks passed, everything is now okay between me and someone else.
Lets not ignore the elephant in the room people. It is sitting right there. Say “how’d ya do!?” and keep it pushin.
Don’t come at me sideways because I sit on the elephants lap while you do the avoiding responsibility dance. Friend, family, co-worker … I don’t give a fuck. Own your shit. Or stay out of my life.
Ya digg?
Furthermore I would like to say the following to a certain couple of catty bloggers in the ’sphere: “Hate away bitches. Continue on with your high school mean girls ways. What is going to happen is this: You will come to a point where 1) people will get over your clique-y bullshit. 2) You will interact with some adults who will clown you to tears and let you and everyone else catty that is around you know what is up with your bullshit.
The bottom line is this. You may be all power trip queen of your metropolitan area, but you are not queen of the world. Your circle is not that big and I don’t give a fuck how tweet savvy you are. Karma is a bitch. Remember that.
Oh. And also, I really really really really want my long hair back. I am so sick of it being short that I could cry.
On that note, life is alright and I miss blogging but I need some people to make me feel like they want me to keep blogging here. Deal?
Name the one current event that has you fired up (in a good OR bad way) right now.
Honest Tuesday’s: Barely Naked
Aug 2, 2010 Fitness Forward, Honest Tuesday's, In It To Gym It, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
**WARNING: You might not want to read this if you know me know me. If you do, you are reading at your own risk.**
Me: “Knock it off. I feel like I should be grazing in the grass. Chewing on some cud or something.”
D: “What? No! You are sexy.”
Me: “I am NOT sexy.”
D: “You are sexy to me!”
Me: “But I am not sexy to ME.”
I swear to fuck this ^^^ conversation has become a regular one in my Wicked domain.
I hate this conversation. I hate the way it makes me feel when my own issue hurts the feelings of the other person who matters.
But I can’t help it. A million people could tell me how pretty I look or how sexy I am … but if I don’t feel it inside … it truly doesn’t matter what they say. I have to be the one to feel that way about myself. Yanno?
It is all in my head. I get it. It is my own issue. Mine. Not his. Not yours. Mine.
I wake up and am reminded of it. I immediately pull my shirt down that has ridden up maaaaybe 2 inches and twisted itself around me while I slept, peacefully snuggled in between a 3 year old, a kitten, a new puppy (that is not really a puppy he is 2 but I am not sure I like yet) and D.
The first thing I think about when I wake up is whether or not my stomach fat shows. In my own house. Who does that?
Personal hell? I think so.
It is stupid to feel this way. I know it is. I am sure that what I see is probably not as bad as what you see, but when I look in the mirror I am repulsed. Like throw up in my mouth repulsed.
So then it goes a little somethin like:
D: “Do you wanna do it?”
Me: “No!”
D: (insert disappointed face)
Me: (insert feeling like an asshole)
I cannot make myself want something I don’t want. And it isn’t even that I don’t want ‘it’ … I simply don’t want to see myself naked and I sure as hell don’t want anyone else to either. Not even D. And we have been together for 10 years.
Gah. It is affecting everything. I am that wife. The wife I swore to God I would never ever be. But I see it happening. It is like I am stuck inside a sound proof bubble watching the fat unmotivated me take over the world and I am completely powerless over it.
Me: “I am tired.”
Me: “I have a headache.”
Me: “I don’t feel good.”
To put it simply, I am uninspired and I hate it. My life isn’t even all fucked up. I really have absolutely nothing to bitch about and I am bitching anyway.
I am barely naked and that sucks because I really fucking LOVE being naked. !!!!
Fuck. Am I really even writing this?
Someone tell me to getthefuckoverit already.
Ready, set, GO!
(p.s. I am getting my shit back on track. I am paying attention to what I am eating and firmly reminding myself that a cheeseburger a day does NOT keep the DR. away. Also, I worked out tonight and it felt great. Now to make it a habit again. 
Ya Digg!?)
What inspires you?
Oh The Places We Will Go!
Jul 27, 2010 All Things Charli, All Things X, Current Events, Family, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, P.O.E. Biz, This Thing Called Marriage., Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, Wicked Wisdoms, awesomeness
I want to go. To places near and far and in between. I want to drive there. Fly there. Hike there. Float there on a boat there. I don’t care if I am in a tent or a hotel or a resort.
I just want to experience life from another cultures eyes.
Working in a place where I talk about vacations 8-10 hours a day makes me hungry to travel.
It isn’t like I am sheltered; I have seen a nice part of the world in my life. Traveling with the Navy allowed me the ability to see places I never ever would have thought to travel to.
I have been to Australia, Singapore, Dubai, Bahrain … Hong Kong …
But there are places that I absolutely must get to.
Sooner than later.
I started thinking about this when we were driving over the Pass, on our way to camping. We drove through the cutest city. I have lived here my entire life and have never been through the city of Leavenworth.
Driving through, I have decided, I must make it there. Repeatedly. It is a Bavarian town filled with things like brats and good beer and blackberry ice cream. It is quaint and (from what I hear) an experience. All of the signs (even the MacDonald’s) are painted to go with the Bavarian theme. I was completely trippen when we drove through. I wish we had time to stop.
(insert trip planning here)
I must go to Europe. For a month at least. I want to see Germany and Italy and Spain and England.
I must (thanks to PQ) go to Turkey.
I must spend at least 2 weeks in Bora Bora. In an over water bungalow.
I must take my kids to Disneyland. And on a Disney cruise.
I must take my kids (Xavier specifically) to Washington DC. He is super in to the Presidents.
I must spend at least a week in NYC so I can go to as many Broadway shows a girl can handle before living her life as if she herself was in a musical.
I must visit New Orleans. Once for Mardi Gras and Once not for Mardi Gras.
I must go to South America.
I must go to Honduras.
I must take D to Hawaii and the Caribbean.
I want to scuba dive. And snorkel. I want to hike up historical mountains. I want to dip in hot springs and stand behind waterfalls. I want to skydive and take pictures of my kids in front of monuments.
I think I will buy a world map and some fun thumbtacks so that we as a family can mark the places we have all been together. I will not scrapbook it, but I *will* have photo album upon photo album with our snapshots stuffed to the brim inside.
Our memories. My little family of 4 will travel together until it turns into a family of just us 2 back into a family of more than 4 when my kids have families of their own. We will create traditions and rituals. And we will look forward to our Christmas Eve’s and summer getaways.
As I have gotten older, I have grown less fond of material things to make me happy. (Don’t get me wrong, a sexy pair of stilettos get me riled the fuck up …) What I am finding makes me more happy more frequently is giving my kids the gift of experiencing life. I will continue to give them that as much as I possibly can because it is something that I did not get a great deal of as a kid.
I happen to think that, if possible … giving the gift of experiencing life … is one of the most important gifts that can ever be given to another individual.
What places will you go?
What places have you already been?
Best vacation ever?
Dream vacation?
Tags: Bora Bora, broadway, disneyland, europe, germany, hawaii, honduras, italy, mardi gras, new orleans, nyc, spain, vacation
Anniversary Trip FTW!
Jul 11, 2010 This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked Wisdoms
Happy Monday!
I am home and able to sit down and write about my mini-impromptu-childless anniversary trip.
I felt refreshed until my kids got here and started back in to the fighting ways that siblings do. (boo hoo why wasn’t our trip longer or forever?)
I joke! (or do I?)
Anyway … our trip was pretty freaking cool. I don’t know why I am just now really discovering CraigsList… but I am and I am loving it.
Discovery 1: A beautiful room on the sound equipped with a mini fridge, microwave and a spectacular view from the balcony … $65 a night. (I know right? What is the catch? None actually.) I searched under “Vacation Rentals” because I wanted to surprise D with a night away. We both needed it. Badly.
It is a privately owned home with extra bedrooms that are rented out by the owners. Annette and Dick were more than hospitable and wonderful and I hope to have the opportunity to stay there again in the very near future. D and I were talking about spending a night there when it is rainstorm season. I am sure it will be just as beautiful as when the sun is shining … in a totally different way.
The property has history which Dick explained to us while giving us the tour.
It had it’s own private entrance and the deck was private as well. I was instantly relaxed and felt right at home. It is crazy to not feel that weird “I am not in my own space” adjustment period. We really just exhaled and began to enjoy each other’s company.
The thing I love most about my husband is our ability to talk. We have been entertaining ourselves for over 9 years now and I can completely see us entertaining ourselves for another 99. He makes me laugh more than he makes me cry … at least more now than ever … and I really cannot imagine spending this much time with anyone else.
So … there really isn’t much to do in Anacortes, WA. *GASP* I know. I didn’t really plan it for an elaborate activity filled evening so it worked. We left for a couple of hours just to be out in our gorgeous weather. We went to the water and walked around, looked at some beautiful boats, and then found a really amazing ice cream shop. Dessert before dinner FTW!!!
After, it was time for our inside picnic and for me to smack D around in Dominoes.
Heh. (I let him win one time to be nice.)
One thing that was not awesome … but probably happened for a reason … was the TV not working. We were both looking forward to laying in bed and watching a movie or SNL but the remote to the DISH literally died while we were using it and then DISH shut off completely. The owners were trying so hard to fix it; they even called DISH at 9 at night to figure something out for us, but there was nothing anyone could do. The remote had to be replaced.
D and I had come to grips with the issue being what it was well before they called to fix it, and to be perfectly honest, we weren’t there for the TV … you know? Prior to them trying to come and fix it, we were completely content listening to music and chatting away. After she got off the phone, Annette tried to refund me money. It was the right thing to do for her to offer it, but I wouldn’t hear of it.
How tacky of me to accept money back from these amazing people over something that really had no negative effect on our trip.
Of course D said “I would have taken it!” but I quickly reminded him that that it was 1) tacky and rude and 2) not something that you ever do in this situation. A Motel6? Absofuckinglutely. But not kind people who open their home up to strangers. Absolutely not.
Anyway, D and I decided we wanted munchies. We forgot sweets and were without anything to satisfy that sweet tooth, so we ventured to the store.
When we came back, there was a note and a gift at the bottom of the stairs up to our room.
It basically thanked us for being so understanding about the TV, and that she works with glass … and wanted to give us (me) an anniversary present. It is a beautiful handmade necklace that I am in love with.
D looked at me and said, “I get it now.”
This gesture touched me. It is something that not a lot of people understand or even think of doing because they are so self consumed and distracted by stupid things all of the time.
Small gestures mean something. I will hold on to this necklace until forever because it was a thoughtful gift from a thoughtful woman who genuinely cared about a 100% perfect anniversary trip for D and I. Even though it was something so stupid to us that happened during our stay, it meant something to her.
I have said this before and I will continue to say it until I am blue in the face I swear to God.
We as a society of human beings are missing these key aspects of humanity. Caring, selflessness, understanding, compassion … common courtesy. There aren’t many people in the world left like Annette and Dick it seems like and that bothers me.
Just like I said in my last blog; I cannot change the world … but I sure as hell can make a valiant effort to be a more compassionate human every single day.
Thanks, Annette and Dick, we hope to see you again soon. <3
Finish this sentence: “I cannot change the world … but I _____ “
P.S. If you are ever in need of a quiet amazing get away … email me. I will give you the contact information to check availability where we stayed.
Tags: anacortes wa, happy anniversary, marriage, road trip
Pay it Forward, Asshole! & AssRaspberry … etc.
Jul 4, 2010 All Things Charli, Current Events, I WIN!, Random, Wicked MOMMY Wisdoms, Wicked Wisdoms
Happy Belated Birthday, America! You are an old bitch but I love you.
Did you do anything absolutely EPIC for the holiday? I didn’t do anything absolutely EPIC, but I did spend it with some awesome people which was close enough to epic.
Unless, you call going down a bouncy house slide because Charli flashed her pretty smile and begged me to go with her … and my dress flying up juuuuuuuuuuuuuust enough to give myself a nice fat raspberry on my ass … Epic.
Only me. I am the only person who’s ass burns all day on the 4th of July and not touch a single fucking firework. Not one. I literally have rug burn on my ass. But from plastic.
Ahh the things we endure for our kids. *ouch*
Anyway … on Friday I was given an odd opportunity to pay it forward. I try to as often as possible … but this situation kinda fell into my lap. out running errands … and when I was on my way home, I passed this girl pushing a grocery cart. It was filled to the brim with bags of groceries.
The road was uneven. It was 8:45 on a Friday. She was a buck thirty soaking wet. A tiny thing.
So I see her, struggling to get this cart full of food to her destination and I make the decision to flip a bitch to see if she wants help. We load her 35 bags in to my trunk, and I tell her I will absolutely NOT take her $5 in gas money. She insists, but I explain my car woes … and that I am happy to help.
Her house was at least 3/4 of a mile from the store. She was less than 300 feet from the store. Ya digg?
Anyway, we get to her house and I start unloading the groceries on to the curb. I am 1) not trying to invade her space like that carrying groceries in her house and 2) leave Charli in the car unattended. I am thinking she is a single mom or something … until she says to me: “Let me go get my man to help with the groceries.”
Um. Your man?
She pounds on the door … where he doesn’t answer for hella. When he finally does, his lazy ass sends the toddler outside to grab groceries.
Yes you read this correctly.
So the toddler and the mom are grabbing bag after bag. I am done unloading the car and she insists they are fine from there. So I get in my car — and as I am leaving, the douchebag boyfriend comes out and grabs the only thing on the curb; a gallon of milk.
He says to her: “Took you long enough.”
*ahem* “Took you long enough?” Are you fucking kidding me right now?
I don’t know if I was more disturbed that he didn’t even go with her … or that he came out with that fucking asshole comment … or both. But I wanted to give her my number so she could call me. I would take her to get her groceries. Fuck that guy.
And then I realized. Paying it forward doesn’t necessarily mean giving someone a get out of jail free card. If she didn’t see it … I can’t help her. I did my part.
*sigh* I can’t save the world. I can just pay it forward.
Have you ever had an opportunity to pay it forward?
Where are your top 3 places to go on vacation?
What was the last movie you watched? Good, bad or meh?
Tags: 4th of july, epic, get out of jail free, pay it forward
I Do!
Jun 14, 2010 Current Events, Friendship, Relationships, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
I remember as an adolescent and even up until Squishy asking me to be one of her bridesmaids always wanting to have an opportunity to stand beside a good friend and support their decision to vow to love and honor another human being.
I remember watching movies about weddings; and seeing the importance of being asked to participate.
You know that part in the movies about so’n’so getting married where someone flys in from out of town to celebrate and it’s all super exciting?!?!?
I was that girl! Gooooo me!
Some people may not understand why being in a wedding is so important. To me. To anyone for that matter. Maybe it isn’t super important to anyone *but* me.
Whatever.
I have been married twice. Both times were not exactly what I expected, due to age and lack of appreciation of anything sentimental … Annnnd I have been to a fair number of weddings.
Most of them were watching a good GUY friend tie the knot so the relationship with the other half was budding or non-existent. The ones that were my girlfriends were usually situations where their bridesmaids were professed in the 2nd grade while they played barbies or some crap.
I don’t have very many old friends like that so it isn’t really surprising or upsetting that Squish’s wedding is my first.
I dunno where I am going with this… Or of it makes any sense… It is 6am and I am waiting for my flight back home to Seattle. I am sleep deprived, and sad that I have to leave all of my ladies until further notice so I am attempting to process the most important parts first.
I guess what I am windedly and exhaustedly attempting to say is that for someone who believes in true love the way I do, the sentiment behind standing beside one of my closest friends and watching them vow to love their souls counterpoint forever and ever runs deep with me. It is a feeling that cannot be replaced, nor can it ever efficiently be described in blog form.
True love is hard to find, and when you do find it, it is even harder to keep. It means fighting for it when you are exhausted. It means unconditionally accepting the other person for who they are. It means letting go of hangups and allowing the other person to see you. Really *see* you.
True love is rare these days. Maybe that is why standing next to it in a pretty blue dress on a party barge with BBQ, house music and bubbles is so God damned important to me.
Congrats Squishy & Irish!! I will always support and repect your love as long as you give it the same repect and support.
It is boarding time. Back to the real world. Good-bye Austin!
(more on my trip to come)
The Importance of a Photo
Jun 9, 2010 Current Events, Family, Friendship, Random, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms, love
Hello again! I am sitting here at the airport waiting to board the plane and start my minivaca to Austin.
Last I wrote, it was the eve of my birthday … and what’s difference writing a blog makes. As of late, my inspiration has slowly begun to show itself. But … Life along with (stupid) priorities has a way of cockblocking my inspired moments.
Boo.
My birthday was awesome. Thank you (in advance) for asking. As I get older and wiser, my birthdays are so much more important to me and those who are most important to me seem to really love to remind me of how much they love me.
It is one thing to know how awesome you are… It is another for other people to know. (game recognize game. <--- the way of the world)
Anyway, my parents handpicked these photos for me. All of them were of me as a little one, and many of them had my grandparents in the photos with me. I don't have many photos of them at all, let alone with me in the photo with them.
Surprise + myoveremotionalass = my waterworks
My waterworks + my parents not expecting it = their waterworks
My waterworks + their waterworks = blubberfest 2010.
Dammit. Damn hormones. Damn emotional me!
(I will mention that this may or may not be payback for my Mothers Day gift to my mom. Heh.)
I carry these photos with me. 1) because I cannot stop thumbing through them and 2) because I wanna share them with my ladies.
Wha?! Did you think I would leave you out? Nah. Below are 2 of my favorites. Enjoy!
(and of course fill me in on the gossip. I will be sporatically {read: drunkenly} posting blogs from Austin.)
Tags: Austin, awesomeness, birthday, photo, plane
Wicked Random
May 2, 2010 Current Events, Family, Friendship, In It To Gym It, P.O.E. Biz, Random, Sex, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms
Happy Monday!
This is gonna be short and sweet because I am tired.
Today you get a list of Wicked thoughts.
1) I am SO fucking excited to cut my hair tomorrow. Yes I will post pics.
2) I have come to some pretty important conclusions about some people in my life over the past few days. That being said, I am making the decision to change my approach.
3) Speaking of changes, I can feel some changes coming. I am unsure what is gonna change. At least as of now.
To be continued…
4) Responsibilities suck sometimes.
5) I am proven repeatedly that everything happens for a reason. I wonder when I will start having faith in that.
6) I am oddly excited about turning 31.
7) Speaking of excited, I am also excited about the following things:
*Squish’s wedding
*Summertime
*Victoria to see MissTricky
*The gym
My sex drive has been non-existent lately. WTF is that about?
9) Law Abiding Citizen is a great movie. I would fuck the hell out of both Jamie Foxx AND Gerard Butler.
10) I wish I had a puppy.
Tell me the high and low of your weekend.
What movie have you seen recently that was awesome? Not so awesome?
What kind of puppy would you own?
If I Were A Business
Apr 28, 2010 Current Events, DUH, Ranteriffic, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch
I am a consumer. A buyer. I want what I want, and when I set my mind to purchasing whatever it is that I want to purchase… I want it now.
It goes back to the little teeny bit of Veruca Salt inside of me.
When I make a decision to buy something, be it a camera or a pair of shoes or a tanning package, I require the same criteria:
1) The seller is nice to me.
2) No matter if I am scrubby or dolled, I am treated as if I have eleventy million dollars in my pocket.
3) I am made to feel somewhat important.
4) The seller is knowledgeable in the product I am purchasing.
It goes across the board. I will not buy a motherfucking breath of air from you if I am blue in the face from lack of oxygen if you are not on your game. I will walk out the door and spend the latter part of my life looking for the exact same product AND I will gladly pay more money strictly because of principal.
Furthermore, I will not refer business.
It frustrates me to no end when I reach out, as a consumer, and I am blown off.
This recently happened to me. Do you remember the impatient haircutting incident from earlier this week? Yeah. I am still waiting to hear from a potential stylist. I emailed her on Sunday. And again yesterday.
Guess what? I am going to happily pay double on Saturday for another stylist to cut my hair. Yup. Annnnnnnnd I am going to refer her services out to as many people as possible.
Take that nonresponsivestylist! You just lost at least 5 repeat customers.
Do the motherfucking math.
What kind of consumer are you?
What is the worst buying situation you have been a part of?
