Living Wicked

Honest Tuesday’s: Barely Naked

Aug 2, 2010 Fitness Forward, Honest Tuesday's, In It To Gym It, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, This Thing Called Marriage., Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked & D Quotables, Wicked Wisdoms, bitch

**WARNING: You might not want to read this if you know me know me. If you do, you are reading at your own risk.**

Me: “Knock it off. I feel like I should be grazing in the grass. Chewing on some cud or something.”
D: “What? No! You are sexy.”
Me: “I am NOT sexy.”
D: “You are sexy to me!”
Me: “But I am not sexy to ME.”

I swear to fuck this ^^^ conversation has become a regular one in my Wicked domain.

I hate this conversation. I hate the way it makes me feel when my own issue hurts the feelings of the other person who matters.

But I can’t help it. A million people could tell me how pretty I look or how sexy I am … but if I don’t feel it inside … it truly doesn’t matter what they say. I have to be the one to feel that way about myself. Yanno?

It is all in my head. I get it. It is my own issue. Mine. Not his. Not yours. Mine.

I wake up and am reminded of it. I immediately pull my shirt down that has ridden up maaaaybe 2 inches and twisted itself around me while I slept, peacefully snuggled in between a 3 year old, a kitten, a new puppy (that is not really a puppy he is 2 but I am not sure I like yet) and D.

The first thing I think about when I wake up is whether or not my stomach fat shows. In my own house. Who does that?

Personal hell? I think so.

It is stupid to feel this way. I know it is. I am sure that what I see is probably not as bad as what you see, but when I look in the mirror I am repulsed. Like throw up in my mouth repulsed.

So then it goes a little somethin like:

D: “Do you wanna do it?”
Me: “No!”
D: (insert disappointed face)
Me: (insert feeling like an asshole)

I cannot make myself want something I don’t want. And it isn’t even that I don’t want ‘it’ … I simply don’t want to see myself naked and I sure as hell don’t want anyone else to either. Not even D. And we have been together for 10 years.

Gah. It is affecting everything. I am that wife. The wife I swore to God I would never ever be. But I see it happening. It is like I am stuck inside a sound proof bubble watching the fat unmotivated me take over the world and I am completely powerless over it.

Me: “I am tired.”
Me: “I have a headache.”
Me: “I don’t feel good.”

To put it simply, I am uninspired and I hate it. My life isn’t even all fucked up. I really have absolutely nothing to bitch about and I am bitching anyway.

I am barely naked and that sucks because I really fucking LOVE being naked. !!!!

Fuck. Am I really even writing this?
Someone tell me to getthefuckoverit already.

Ready, set, GO!

(p.s. I am getting my shit back on track. I am paying attention to what I am eating and firmly reminding myself that a cheeseburger a day does NOT keep the DR. away. Also, I worked out tonight and it felt great. Now to make it a habit again. Ya Digg!?)

What inspires you?

Honest Tuesday’s: I Don’t Slither.

Jun 28, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Honest Tuesday's, P.O.E. Biz, Ranteriffic, Suck It!

Call me a cunt. Call me a vulgar, loud mouthed bitch. I don’t give a shit.

What you cannot call me is a snake. Or a liar. If you do, I might very well give you an eye-jammie for it.

Just saying.

For those of you who regularly read my blogs … I seem to get the maddest about the same 5 or 6 specific things. So, here is your advance apology for 1) any repeated information and 2) being a bit vague.

Moving on.

The one thing that makes my blood boil the most has to be liars. Liars and people who will do anything in their power to get ahead. Even if it means sending another person to the wolves. Even if it means selling their soul to the devil.

I would rather spend my life with nothing, living with my 2 kids and D in my Mazda, than ruin anothers simply so that I can move past them in the food chain.

It is point one as to why I hate corporate environments. Why I have avoided any sort of leadership position for years. Why I kept business and personal so separate. I was actually turned away from and said no to promotions because the powers that be above me who made the decisions knew that I was a brutally honest person and that I called it like I saw it. No matter what. The one promotion I was offered, and took into a leadership position was the best possible situation and my manager at the time (Goddess bless her) just got me. She was my mentor and my friend and when push came to shove, she would grab me by the ear and drag me into a conference room to either 1) tell me about myself or 2) let me yell it out to HER rather than to someone that might go crying to HR about some shit like a fucking vagina.

I can’t help it. It is in my blood. It is something that I will never ever change simply to make an extra buck and in all of the positions I have ever held, I have been perfectly content saying what I wanted to say in my measly hourly waged position.

It hurts my feelings to feel like I am surrounded by dishonest people. I have left many a position because of this very feeling. I am unhappiest in a place where I am forced to wonder who I can and cannot trust. The problem is really that everywhere I end up … it follows. It follows because this world is filled with snakes in human form.

As much as I try to surround myself with like-minded people, the bottom line is that no matter where you end up … they are there, slithering their snakey selves around. Smiling in faces, kissing asses … and making me fucking crazy.

These reasons are also the reasons why my end goal is to own my own business. Because then, when the snake-head is revealed, I can fire their fucking asses and send THEM straight to hell where their snakey asses can become appetizers for the devil himself.

I don’t slither. I won’t slither. Not for you, not for money not for anyone.

I will however, stand up and be a good person and tell the truth, even if that means that I am the bad guy. I will tell you about yourself when you need to be told and I will always say what everyone else will not say. Hate me for it or love me for it, I don’t care.

I can’t talk specifics. Those who read my blog who know what I am talking about know why. But this is my purge place. My house of self-written therapy. If I don’t get it out I will explode and that in itself is full of ugliness. I am a happier, more positive person here. It has been weighing on me for weeks and it feels good to blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahg it out.

Happy Tuesday. Come be honest with me about things you cannot be honest with anyone else about. No judgment.

(p.s. thanks for listening)

Tags: corporate politics, liar liar pants on fire, snakes, work

The Bitch is Back Or A Catsup Blog

Jun 22, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, DUH, Etc., Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, Out of Wicked's Mouth

Yup. I said it. I have my ammo locked and loaded. It has been months since I was able or inspired to write every day and now I am ready.

I see that I had some fair-weather readers … my following dropped by about 30 people. Fuck you. Don’t come back. You are probably fair-weather friends too and I am not a fan of that.

So I went to Austin. It was ama.zing.

It was unexpectedly overwhelming for me. I had not ever been a bridesmaid before, so I was completely unaware of the responsibilities of being one. You know, having to be places at specific times and things. All of the weddings I had ever been in, I just had to show up for the reception … you know?

It was also overwhelming because frankly, having that much love in such a small area is intense. I should have prepared myself. I am dealing with some personal changes where I am more aware of my personal space being invaded by others my three year old, etc. all of the time and I am more and more interested in keeping that space to myself as much as possible. I am finding myself less interested in being touched or anything remotely resembling you being in my space.

Is that weird? (I don’t even know why I am asking this. I really don’t give a fuck if it is weird. Bottom line: geoufmyspacealready)

Regardless, there is one thing about my life that makes me happiest, other than my family. That is that I have (for the most part) an amazing group of people around me. Finally. It was an amazing thing to let 2 and a half years lapse and still feel (for the most part) the exact same way that I did then about my ladies. Even more happy is that 2 pretty special ladies in my life were exactly how I hoped they would be and we bonded exactly like I hoped we would bond.

Austin solidified many friendships. New ones and old ones that needed to be re-solidified. If that makes sense. That is a good feeling.

When I look back at specific moments from that trip, I am reminded of the fact that we all kinda just love each other. Unconditionally. Who has that kind of love anymore?

I know, right?

It seems like in this day and age, everyone’s love comes with a condition attached to it. Like “I will love you forever but you need to always have money or I am out.” Or “I vow to love you as long as you do this and this and this for me.” Even “Our love is eternal. But if you get sick, I have to leave you after fucking some other sap behind your back.”

I am not a fan of this. I am a fan of communicating with a person. Expressing feelings and frustrations. I am also a fan of being heard. And respected. And understood. I am a big fan of working out differences and not holding a grudge (most of the time). That is what true friendship is all about, isn’t it?

So, I look back to my trip and thank God every day that I was able to make it and that I am fortunate enough to have so many different forms of awesomeness surrounding me … and that most all of them made it there to celebrate the wedding of my soul sister.

Blogged about Austin: Check.

Moving on.

Kids. I have them.

They are doing pretty freaking great … Xavier had his art featured in a community art festival over Father’s Day weekend which is super awesome. Charli is … a brat and a half but so smart. She is a potty hater and really enjoys bossing everyone around as much as possible.

X is now out of school. D may or may not be on the verge of losing his mind … and it isn’t even the end of the first week with the both of them home. All day. Together. Terrorizing each other. Endlessly.

I need ideas of crap for them to do. Seriously. Projects. Crafts. Activities. Anything. Or, I am going to come home and each child will be hung upside down in opposite corners by their toes and D will be in another corner, rocking back and forth with his ears covered in sheer agony of this summer boredom situation.

Some things I have come up with are:

Make your own candy necklaces.
Sock puppets
Handprint rainbows
Scavenger hunts

Alright: GO!

Blogging about kids: Check Check.

Work is … work.

I can’t really go into the details of it but if I could wish for a different situation than the one that is present … I would. Ya digg?

Also the book publishing is taking forever. I am working on getting everything finalized and ready for purchase. Thanks for being patient.

Blogged about work and book: Check Check Check

I will have a more coherent blog with extra purpose tomorrow. I might talk a lot about the oil spill, so stay tuned. ( I am lying. That is the last motherfucking thing I want to blog about. If you want to read about that, try CNN.com. Just saying )

Oh. Would you rather have someone tell you the truth or lie to spare your feelings. Be honest about this one. Don’t stroke me just because you THINK I might want to hear you say “truth”.

Oh. And for YOU. Heh.

Tags: austin texas, awesomeness, cnn, Friendship, love, oil spill, weddings, you

Honest Tuesday’s: I’ve Got Friends in Low Places …

Apr 12, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Etc., Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, Relationships, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms

Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.

… she made me laugh. we met through mutual friends, and I thought she would always be my friend. Instead she told lies behind my back about me.

… who said she would keep my secrets. She didn’t.

… who said the same and didn’t.

… she used to care about others. Now she only cares about herself.

… is more than my friend. She is my other half.

… who bends over backwards for his friends. He is one of the best friends I have ever had.

… that I just reconnected with after many years. She is turning out to be one of my best friends. Again.

… in the 8th grade who got caught shoplifting and got mad at me because I got away. She stopped being my friend after that.

… whom I cant find. We were in the navy together…. and we lost touch. I miss her.

… who fucked my first husband before during and after our marriage. I caught her in the act. Them actually. I beat her ass to a pulp. Naked in his front lawn. Jerry Springer styles.

… is brutally honest. Sometimes it pisses me off, but she is always honest with me.

…who is a coward. She cant tell me to my face what she thinks of me. Instead, she’d rather talk shit behind my back to people who she knows will tell me.

… who I secretly would make out with. Or is it a secret?

… that asked me to be a part of her wedding. She is the first person to ever ask me. I am not sure if she knows exactly how much it means to me.

… she is literally out of her fucking mind. but I love her crazy ass.

… that I wish made me more of a priority.

… she is my soul sister. The plane she happened to be on that picked me up is proof of that.

… who is fucking selfish. Selfish and doesn’t listen for shit. I cant figure out to this day why I still even talk to her. So maybe I won’t anymore.

… her life is perfect. She shits rose petals and she walks on water. (so she says) really… she is a half ass mother, her shit smells like her breath… and she treads in the shit more often than most normal people.

… she smiles as much as possible. Her smile radiates a room. It is so beaming, you can see it through the phone when you talk to her. She is literally a ray of sunshine.

… she aint as tough as she would like folks to think she is.

… I know that I will love her when we are 90 and doing laps around Factoria Mall.

… she could possibly be the fakest bitch on the planet. Fake like Pamela Anderson’s tits. It is quite pathetic that she claims to be a “good christian”… all the while she really is just a pathetic excuse for a fake judgmental alcoholic bitch.

… she drinks to much.

… I want to hump all 4 of their faces off.

… and her tits are hot. Also, if she calls her teeny ass fat one more fucking time, I am going to tie her up and make her eat lard with a spoon so I can show her what “fat” really is. *coughtoricough*

… she is afraid to tell me how she feels.

… I am jealous of her confidence.

… we used to dislike each other very much. Now he is one of my closest friends.

… who I wish I were a better friend to.

… who is a liar. I just cannot prove it.

… she wont ever admit she is wrong. Ever. Even when the facts prove how wrong she really is.

Your turn.

Crunchy tacos or soft tacos?
What are your top 5 movies of all time?

Tags: factoria mall, Friendship, jerry springer, pamela anderson

Honest Tuesday’s: I Typically Don’t Like People

Apr 5, 2010 Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, bitch

Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.

I was talking to my FIL’s friend over Easter brunch and the topic came up about me and my general dislike of people. She was a tad surprised that I blurted it out so brashly … saying that I seemed more of a people person than not.

So I got to thinking. (shutup.)

I have a love-hate relationship with being a people person. Don’t get me wrong. I love meeting new people … but at the same time … I typically hate people. Specifically when I first meet someone. It is rare that I meet a person and like them right away. Usually I am totally stand-offish with them and it takes a great deal of awesomeness on their part before I am all like “So’N'So is so totally awesome I just bigfatheart them!”

Also I would never say “is so totally” but I felt the need to be exaggeratory (like my made up word? I know you do.) right then.

9 times out of 10 people are not who they portray. Especially when you meet them in social settings.

Wicked no likey fake fucks. Especially ones who attempt to be something that they aren’t OR try and hide who they actually are for show.

If you are broke, fine. Be broke.
If you are a slut, PERFECT! Own that slutty-ness!
If you like compulsively, meh. I may or may not have to tell you about yourself.
If you are stupid, FINE! Stop trying to use big words that are completely out of context because you have no idea what the big word actually means. Seriously.

Furthermore, people are gross. Dirty, filthy fucking germ receptacles. If you “surprise!” and lined 10 people up in front of their houses for a completely spontaneous walk-thru, I bet you more than 60% of their environments would be foul and blech. Don’t touch me. Don’t breathe on me. Get your dickbeaters off of things that belong to me and not you.

We are not friends until I have done a full assessment. I need to make damn sure that you are who you say you are because believe me … I have thought that someone was all sorts of awesome, and then I was proven wrong quicker than a teenage boy’s first time inside the vajay. JustAGirl knows allllllllllllllll too well.

So the moral of this story is that I like who I like. The rest of you’s can kindly get your face out of my face.

Alright, spill it. What do you need to be honest about this week?

Are you a “people person”?
What is your favorite “old school” dance move?

Tags: Honest Tuesday's, people

Honest Tuesday’s: I <3 (rhymes with) Corn.

Mar 29, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Creative Writing/Poetry, Honest Tuesday's, Masturbate-able, Random, Sex

Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.

This is probably not a surprise, but I <3 Porn. Like big fat <3.

Because I love it so much, I decided to write it a love letter. Wanna hear it? Here it goes.

Dear Porn,

I love you.

If you were a human, I would marry you. I probably wouldn't have your babies though… cause I think telling people that I was pregnant by "porn" is kinda nasty… and I don't think my family would really understand that "porn" is my baby daddy.

By the way, since I am now professing my undying horny devotion to you, can you do me a huge favor? (actually… a few favors to be realistic)

I thought so.

I want to see more dirty porn. Porn stars need to be choked, spanked, hair-pulled, and called sluts and whores until I and every other porn lover climaxes. I am sick of this foo-foo crap where all the females are super delicate and they squeal, and stare all up into the camera while they are face deep in some ball sack. I don’t want it obvious that the slut knows she is on camera. It takes away from my experience.

I also would prefer that these bitches stopped talking. I am not interested in what she or anyone has to say at that point. It in fact, unless you are telling the “dirty slut” to put it in her mouth, or unless you are asking that “whore” if she likes the big cock in her ass… there really shouldn’t be much conversation at all.

I personally have had enough of the scenario porn. “Hot college blonde gives her professor the ride of his life” really is some old dude and strange chick. Neither one of them is in college 9 times out of 10. And the dude ISN’T her professor. So for 10 minutes, I am stuck listening to them try to act (which if they could actually act, they probably wouldn’t be in this business) out the corny fucking scene. Sorry porn, but that is a total turn off. At least make the scenario believable. Just start the shit mid stroke. No commentary is necessary. I don’t need to hear dialogue about her fucking his old ass for a better grade on her essay paper. I just don’t.

Sorry if I am too needy, but I would also like to have my own feature porn series. It can be on DVD only, or on some random pay-for-porn channel… or both.

This is my preferred criteria:

Lots of hot chocolate boys.
Simultaneous hole penetration.
Lots of “slut” and “whore” reference to me personally
Clit and ass spanks; hair pulling and some choking.
Face fucking.
No facials. I don’t think that cum dripping off anyone’s chin is hot. Cum on tits, ass, and tummy are totally acceptable places.

I don’t think that this is too much to ask.

Love always and forever,
WickedCourtni

P.S. Please stop torturing me with the pee porn. Not all of us are turned on by that like R.Kelly.

Nuff said.

Do you have anything to be honest about this week?
To porn or not to porn?
Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? What is it?
What’s your favorite day of the week and why?

Tags: open letter, porn, R.Kelly, Sex

Honest Tuesday’s: I Fall

Mar 22, 2010 Honest Tuesday's, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Plunges, Random, The Tarably Wicked Show

Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.

If you have never met me, or … if you have not had the pleasure of being surrounded by my awesomeness for extended periods of time … you may be completely unaware of the following:

I fall.

While standing.
While walking.
Going from sitting to walking.

I.
Fall.
The.
Hell.
Down.

For instance, today. Tarable and I were walking to get Skittles and ice water like we do pretty much every night, and BAM!

Like almost down the stairs. One of my shoes broke … Yeah.

I fall.

Or how about a couple of weeks ago when I was standing, talking to one of my bosses … (we call him MOM) … and while I was simply fucking STANDING there … BAM!

I fell.

Or when I fell down while trying to slide into my cube at work in my tights. Do you remember sock skating across smooth surfaces?

Yeah. I was sliding down the walkway in between cubes … slide … slide … slide … and then … BAM!

The best story though. Go ahead and laugh work peeps. It is cool. Re-live it.

So I was at my desk. Working. When I work, I usually will have one leg under the other in my chair.

This fateful day, I must have sat on my leg too long.

I jumped up out of my chair for some odd fucking reason that I cannot remember due to the utter mortification of the following events:

As I went to stand up on both feet (IN HEELS MIGHT I ADD) I started to walk, not realizing that my foot and leg were completely fucking numb from the knee down …

Wanna guess what happened next? Of course you do.

BAM!

Yep. I fell. But the worst parts happened in the next 2.5 seconds …

1) I fell WHILE walking, meaning that I slid on my knees into the cube across from mine while wearing a skirt and tights … so what happens? There is a HOLE in my tights that I have to live with for the rest of the night.

2) My 2 bosses, and my co-worker in the cube across from mine as well as another few random co-workers all witnessed my awesomeness literally fly across the fucking cubes and into my co-workers lap.

3) The “THUD” and then the “LMFAO”s throughout the office.

4) My bleeding and scabbed knee.

5) How I am never and HAVE never and WILL never live it down. Ever.

What do you need to be honest about this week?

Do you have an embarrassing moment similar to my falling down all over the damn place? Spill it. Make me feel better.

Tags: bosses, cubical, fall down, heels, Honest Tuesday's, lmao, work

Honest Tuesday’s: I Turn Tables.

Mar 15, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Etc., Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, Random

Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.

So yeah. I don’t turn tables like a DJ or anything like that. (That would be rad if I was though.)

Instead, I turn tables in this blog and ask YOU questions that you get to be honest about. I am not gonna lie. Some might make you feel uncomfortable.

Deal with it.

On that note … Do you or Would you …

…. think that when your significant other is away from you that they are cheating?

…. start off a conversation with “FYI, I only plan on listening to part of your conversation because I think you are fucking boring” if you know that you will ahead of time, to avoid wasting that 10 minutes of your life?

…. stop masturbating when your significant other enters the room?

…. throw temper tantrums as an adult?

…. reveal all of your fantasies, no matter how dirty or socially unaccepted?

…. shelter your kids from everything, some things, or nothing at all?

…. cry, even if you’re only crying because you feel sorry for yourself?

…. always forgive, even if you never forget?

…. avoid confrontation, even if all you want to do is punch a bitch in the mouth?

…. lie to your kids to save their feelings?

…. act as if you like the food, even if you are literally gagging it down with each bite … simply to spare someone’s feelings?

…. suffer complete unhappiness so that your kids are raised in a 2 parent home?

…. consider yourself a true friend, or a fair weather friend?

…. simply wait for someone to shut up so you can begin talking?

…. ever wonder what your life would be like if you took the other path?

Have a WONDERFULLY Honest Tuesday!

Tags: Honest Tuesday's, honesty, lies, truth, Tuesday

Honest Tuesday’s: I Don’t Like You. It Is Easier That Way.

Mar 8, 2010 Completely Hypothetical and Generally Specific, Current Events, Etc., Friendship, Honest Tuesday's, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, Thoughts and Perceptions, Wicked Wisdoms

’scuse me while I ramble a bit… and feel free to relate if you wish.

I am sure that I am not alone when I say that I feel most content surrounded by the people I love. But I am probably one of few that doesn’t have that many people surrounding them anymore.

It seems like no matter how hard I try, the people I love the most diminish with time and happenings and exchanges of words. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. It causes me to look in the mirror and ask myself what I as a friend could have possibly done to push them so far away.

But then, maybe it isn’t me.

I am difficult to love, and I like it that way. Why should my devotion come so easy to everyone? Is it fair to think that the people in my life should work hard to earn my love, trust and loyalty? I would work hard to reciprocate for theirs. In every relationship that I have ever encountered, I have worked hard to show them exactly how important they are to me.

I wonder why I find less and less people willing to do the same. As if, it is acceptable to give 50% in a friendship all of a sudden?

D tells me that so many people are terrified of me. Intimidated even. That they are afraid of what I might say to them. What do you mean? You are afraid of someone possibly telling you the truth? Is that what “friendship” has come to? Lying to one another? It makes me sad to know that people walk on eggshells… but at the same time, my guard remains up because really, I don’t give a fuck. I am gonna be me and say what I think, and ask for forgiveness later if it comes down to having to.

Fact is, I don’t like people. I don’t trust people. So excuse me if I don’t run and hug you and tell you all of my deepest, darkest secrets when we first meet.

Regardless, my life and my love are mine… and I choose who to share them with. If it isn’t you… then you haven’t proved to me that you are worth my love. If I shared it with you, and it was betrayed by you… then shame on me for allowing you in in the first place… It is too bad that you are gone, but with or without you…

I am going to love life, and live love.

Because that is how I roll.

Thoughts?

If you could have any car you wanted, which car would you choose? Would it be practical or flashy?
Imagine you woke up one morning to find you had switched bodies with me. What would you do?

Tags: eggshells, Friendship, guard, intimidate, love

Honest Tuesday’s: Get Back on Track, Fattie!

Feb 15, 2010 Current Events, Honest Tuesday's, Out with the Old Wicked in with the New Wicked, The Tarably Wicked Show, Thoughts and Perceptions, Yum... or Lack There Of.

Welcome to Honest Tuesday’s! A place where you can come and be totally honest about shit that you normally would not be honest about.

Sooooooooo… yeah. I have been completely off of my game diet-wise. an umpteen amount of Cheeseburgers, ice cream, chocolate … pizza … carbbbbbbbbbbbbbsssssssssssssss …

Sooooooooo… yeah. I haven’t worked out. Not a lick.

The deal is, I have maintained the weight loss that I have accomplished and I am proud as hell of myself about it. However, losing it doesn’t mean that it will stay off. It also doesn’t mean that just by losing weight that I am where I want to be with my body. I want tone arms and a somewhat flat tummy. I want to wear tank tops that don’t show off boobmeetsthearm fat.

I was on point for months. Then came the holiday’s.

It seemed to be the hardest when I started this 37 pound weight loss journey. Now I am finding it harder to restart. Especially knowing exactly how damn close I am to being where I want to be.

Saying it out loud is always the best thing for me. I am off track. So is my Tarable. And we (no pun intended) feed off of each other. So when she is focused … so am I. When I am off … so is she.

So here we are, 3 months-ish until summer. 3 months-ish until our Wine Country trip. 3 months-ish until boats
and bathing suits and sleeveless and laying out and mini skirts and shorts. 3 months. I am 15 pounds from it. that is only 5 pounds a month. 5 pounds and working out every single day. Not just for the weight part … but I know I will feel better every day. Working out always ties everything together.

Home, work and health.

So. I said it out loud. We are starting over, just as focused as we were almost a year ago at the beginning of the journey. It is almost as if we have come full circle. Only now it is finishing what we started … with almost the entire race behind us.

I am pretty stoked about that fact.

What do you need to be honest about this week?

Would you rather always get first dibs or the last laugh?
Would you rather eat a handful of hair or lick three public telephones?

Tags: diet, exercize, focus, goals, health, south beach, weight loss, work out